Chapter 1: Midnight Revelation
Woo... Another exciting night of working. Purple hated working late. He despised it with a passion that he normally reserved only for Zim. But then, things weren't exactly normal lately. Late nights were becoming more and more frequent. Of course, Purple's nights wouldn't be quite so late if Red would stay up and help. But no... The crimson-clad Tallest refused to give up his beauty sleep. And so Purple was left with the whole workload.
And all because of the Resisty...
Who would have thought the Resisty - what a stupid name! - would ever have gained power so quickly? Sure, they were still no match for the Irken Empire, but it still seemed as though they were gaining allies almost every day. The Screwheads had been among the first to flock to the Resisty. It had taken near-planetary annhilation to stomp down the rebellion, and Postofficia still wasn't delivering the mail as well as it had before!
A little mailbox popped up on the computer screen and Purple sighed. At least the electronic mailing system still worked fine, though lately he'd been getting horrible death threats and unsolicited porn. Wondering what it would be this time, Purple opened it up. Death threat complete with attached video. Probably someone burning a pair of dolls that looked like the Tallests - not the first time that one had happened. Purple opened the video file.
Lard Nar's pale Vortian face grinned back at him. "Greetings, Tallests," the Resisty leader purred with a mocking bow. "By the time you receive this, you will have just lost Snackoria to the Resisty." The camera panned around to show the Irken race's chief snack planet. The Irkens were bound and chained as the Resisty feasted. "Soon your bellies will feel the pinch of hunger!" The screen went blank and Purple could only stare in horror.
They'd lost Snackoria... There would be no more doughnuts and milkshakes, no more chocolate bars, no more Twinkies. It was all gone. Without Snackoria, the Armada would be left with tasteless health bars! If the Irkens didn't stay well-fed, they might join up with the Resisty just for chocolate! And then Operation Impending Doom II would be over!
Nothing to be done about it now, though. But in the morning... Purple nodded to himself. Yes, morning would bring new ideas. Snackoria wouldn't remain in the Resisty's claws for long!
But as Purple turned out the light and pulled his blankets up over his head, his confidence waned. Snackoria had been well defended, and now those weapons were under the control of the Resisty. Horrible! Purple shut his eyes, determined to force out all thoughts of the Resisty and Snackoria. Alas, he failed miserably. Throwing back the blankets, Purple climbed out of bed. He'd go visit Red. Yes, that was a good idea! Red was good with battle plans and such! He'd know what to do!
Purple rushed down the hallways, zipping along like a violet ghost. At this time of night - not that time really mattered in space - the halls were virtually deserted. Only a few late stragglers drifted to their quarters. Occasionally, snatches of drinking songs would reach Purple's antennae. As Purple reached Red's room, he placed his hand on the palm-pad. Sure, he should knock, but he was just a bit too preoccupied at the moment.
Red was, as any sensible Irken would be at this hour, sleeping soundly. Purple stood in the doorway and watched the covers rise and fall with Red's steady breathing. Maybe Red had the right idea... There really wasn't anything that could be done tonight. Purple really should get back to bed too.
But still Purple didn't move. He hated to admit it - especially to himself - but he was scared. Being alone at a time like this would lead to nightmares and embarrassingly wet sheets. Surely Red would understand that. Yes. Yes, he would.
Purple got into bed, spooning against Red's warm body. 'Red will understand,' Purple told himself once more as he snuggled against his fellow Tallest, wrapping his arms around Red as though Red were a teddy bear. Mmmmm... So warm and soft and...
Squooshy? Very much awake now, Purple gave the thing under his hand a squeeze. Yep, definitely squooshy! That would mean that this wasn't Red.
Blushing furiously, Purple quickly pulled away. But the damage was done as the now equally wide awake female let out a small scream. "Oh geeze!" Purple stammered. "M'so sorry about that! I thought you were Red!"
The slender Irken woman just stared at Purple with wide Red eyes, her bosom heaving with every breath. Oh, not that Purple noticed. He would never be so vulgar to stare at a female's ample... His eyes were firmly fixed on... Oh, who was he trying to kid. He was watching her chest.
Booted feet thudded against the floor outside. Purple's antennae twitched at the noise. Apparently the guards needed to learn a bit about stealth. Maybe that's how the Resisty took Snackoria - by being sneakier. The woman didn't give Purple much time to wonder about anything else as she grabbed the Tallest and pressed her mouth against his. Purple felt a leg wrap around his waist and he had to grin. He'd only heard of these sorts of happenings before, but he'd never gotten to participate. He eagerly slid his tongue into the female's mouth as the guards burst in.
The guards shuffled around nervously at the sight of their Tallest in bed with a woman. Obviously the scream they'd been investigating was a false alarm. Stammering hasty apologies, the guards quickly left their Tallest alone with his new lady friend. As soon as the last guard had left and Purple and the woman were alone again, she slapped the Tallest hard across the cheek. "You perv!" she growled.
"Hey! You started it!" Then the realization hit. She must've thought that he was Red. So that's why Red was always so eager to get to bed at night. Some guys had all the luck. "Ummm... You won't tell Red about this. I mean, when he gets back, he'll murder me if he finds out! When's Red coming back, anyway? And why would he leave a pretty thing like you alone in the first place?"
The woman stared at Purple long and hard, her fists bunching up the soft blankets. She looked tired, Purple decided. Tired and sad - definitely not how a lover should look. And then the tears started, tracing a straight course down her cheek. "Red's dead," came the woman's soft whisper.