Threshie: Hiyas! ^^ I felt like writing more chibified escapades, so here's the second chapter! This's my first chapter-fic… Oo;; Thanks for the reviews, by the way! ^^ I really appreciate them!
Rufus: -_-;; She's abandoned writing about me to write about chubby, big-eyed children with speech impediments…
Threshie: ^^;; I have not! Otherwise, well, I'd have a chibi as my Muse!
Rufus: *Acquires a brief, horrified expression before going back to his usual cold front* Like a chibi could possibly come up with any good ideas for a serious fic…
Threshie: ^^ No, but a chibi could come up with cute ficcy ideas, and I'm into writing cute stuff right now!
Rufus: *Frowns* If you're so intent on replacing me, hurry up and do it so that I can finish that report I've been assigned, spend some time with my girlfriend who thinks I died a month ago, and then go kill my father so he can't play God with the human race's DNA patterns anymore.
Threshie: *Sweatdrops at commentary and huggles Rufie* Aw, I didn't mean I wanted to replace you, Rufie! You're one of my favorite characters--I draw and write about you all the time!
Rufus: *Looks a bit stiff about being hugged, frowns slightly* I'd be reassured, except for that nickname… *Twitch*
Threshie: *Lets go of him* A-hem, maybe we should get to the fic--if anybody's reading this, they came to read about chibis, not boring old me and my (kawaii!) Muse/Bishie!
Rufus: *Nods* Yes, this's almost a page long, itself. *Shakes head* You have a gift for babbling, Creator-sama/Threshie-sama/'The-THING-That-Created-Me-For-Those-Morbid-Violent-Angst-Fics-sama.
Threshie: You have a gift for names. ^~
Rufus: *Unconvinced* Sure. *Sighs and looks at readers oddly* You haven't scrolled down yet? I'm not interesting, and she's certainly not. *Points at Threshie in an offhand manner* Go read the cutesy stuff now--if she ever posts my profile or any other story about me, then you can read about me and my messed up life all you want. *Frowns*
***
Chibified Escapades: The Painted One's Not So Painted… 9/2/2002
Mallory York/Threshie
"Da!" Chibi Chichiri cried, tumbling onto the floor of a well-furnished room somewhere in Kotou country.
"Shh!" Chibi Kouji frowned, slanted hazel eyes narrowing slightly to show that he was serious, "The Painted One might hear you, wake up, and then…"
"ITAI," both chibis chorused quietly, and the tiny monk nodded.
"Gomennasai, na no da," he whispered, peering about the room. Unlike the Suzaku Seishi's temporary camp tents, since they were almost always traveling somewhere, Tomo's room was just that--an actual room--, and a nicely furnished and arranged room, at that. Chibi Kouji felt the soft carpet beneath his feet thoughtfully.
"Wonder how much this's worth," he mumbled to himself softly, and chibi Chichiri tapped him on the shoulder. "Hai?"
The tiny monk frowned, "We're here to steal makeup, Bandit-san, no da, not the carpeting!"
"Uhh, hai, hai," the chibi bandit smiled nervously, "I wasn't thinkin' that, really! This carpet's just very expensive, and seein' as I'm a bandit an' all…"
"Come on, before the Cackling One wakes up, no da," chibi Chichiri whispered urgently, and the tiny bandit shuddered at the thought of being tied up and forced to listen to that laugh and nodded quickly, following the chibi monk's lead.
"H-hai, Chichiri-chan…" Tiptoeing silently across the soft carpet on tiny, slippered feet, chibi Chichiri spied the bed near the window. The dresser was nearby (Rufus: Just to make a note, Threshie doesn't know if there are really dressers in Ancient China (I doubt it, myself), and so this may not be accurate. Carry on.).
"Da," the chibi monk sighed, a bit scared at the thought of approaching Tomo, even while asleep. "Well, are we really going to try and get some makeup, no da? It would be easier to give up Headband-sama, no da."
Chibi Kouji's hazel eyes got large and tear-filled, "Iie! We're already here. Let's go--" he gulped, "--Over th-there!" He pointed a tiny finger in the direction of Tomo's dresser, shaking slightly. "Quietly," he added in a whisper. Chibi Chichiri nodded, knowing that Tomo would cackle one way or another if he awoke while they were going about their little makeup-snitching act. Silently, both crept across the carpet. All too soon, they arrived at the side of the bed, and right in front of the dresser. "Now what?" Chibi Kouji asked nervously, craning his neck to glimpse if Tomo was really asleep and finding that he wasn't tall enough to see over the edge of the bed.
"Anata wa Bandit-san, no da!" Chibi Chichiri whispered, frowning, "You get the makeup, no da!"
Chibi Kouji looked a bit perplexed, "Doko wa makeup desu ka?"
"Probably on top of the dresser," chibi Chichiri said thoughtfully, "Hurry, no da--if he wakes up, you need to be near me so that I can teleport us both, na no da!"
"H-hai," the chibi bandit agreed, scaling the dresser by gripping the drawers' knobs and climbing like he was on a ladder. Reaching the top, he gripped the edge with a determined expression. With a bit of difficulty, he managed to snag something atop the piece of furniture and drag himself up onto the top of it. As if to reassure himself that the room's owner was, indeed, asleep, he glanced over at Tomo nervously--and his eyes got very large.
Chibi Chichiri blinked, "Nani yo, no da? What is it? Kouji-chan, no da?"
"Kirei na," chibi Kouji whispered, eyes becoming large and shiny.
The tiny monk on the floor frowned, "Beautiful, no da? Tomo looks like a freak, no da!"
"Iie," chibi Kouji smiled distantly, "Tomo no goku na!"
"He is not gorgeous!" Chibi Chichiri grumbled, frustrated. Sighing, he scaled the dresser, himself, to see why in the world the chibi bandit was staring so intently--and babbling so incomprehensibly (Threshie: Oo;; Big word… Rufus: *Shakes head sadly* No comment…). "DA!" Chibi Chichiri had just had the shock of his life (Threshie: Short of losing his eye, which I'll bet would hurt quite a bit and cause quite a shock! Rufus: Stop with this commentary--we didn't comment in the first chapter! Threshie: It's fun! Rufus: *Sighs* Why me?). The person laying asleep on the bed could not be Tomo. They couldn't.
"Utsukushii," chibi Kouji sighed, smiling with still-starry eyes. Chibi Chichiri frowned; he had to admit, the tiny bandit was quite correct on this occasion. The person--supposedly Tomo--who slept there had long, silky black hair, a pale, porcelain-like face and a distantly sorrowful expression, their eyes closed. Chibi Chichiri thought words like 'gorgeous' and 'beautiful' certainly applied--Tomo, if that's who it really was, without his makeup was like the face of beauty. Hotohori would be ripping his beloved hair out if he had been along with them--this person was far more beautiful than even him, the renowned beautiful Emperor of Konan.
"H-hai," the monk finally said in response to chibi Kouji's earlier comment, frowning, "Utsukushii, but he'll probably still cackle if he wakes up, no da! Let's get the makeup and get out of here, no da!"
"Hai, hai," chibi Kouji smiled, the same distant expression on his face. Turning, he rummaged through the things atop the dresser until he found a small chest of makeup (Rufus: Again, Threshie-san-sama no Baka-- Threshie: Hey! Rufus: --has no idea if Tomo keeps his makeup in a little chest or not, but she's writing it that way, so that's where he keeps it in this story.) tucked into a back corner. With a tiny 'dahaha', the chibi bandit shoved the box over to the edge of the dresser, peering down. "How do we get it down there without making any noise?"
"Da," chibi Chichiri sighed in frustration. "We only need a little, no da! Just to prove that we came in here and got it without being caught, no da!"
Chibi Kouji smiled sheepishly, "Oh. Hai, hai… Let's open it, then, shall we?"
"We shall, no da," chibi Chichiri agreed, fiddling with the latch on the small chest pointedly. He frowned slightly, "Da--it's locked, no da. We need the key, no da." The tiny bandit grinned widely, pulling off his headband and turning it inside-out. Chibi Chichiri watched in amazement as the chibi bandit revealed the inside of his 'Headband-sama' to be a bandit's toolkit--chibi-sized daggers, a pair of gloves that must have stretched if Kouji used them when non-chibi, lock picks… Lock picks!
"I'm not a bandit for nothin'," chibi Kouji dahaha-ed softly, removing a lock pick from the set and quickly picking the lock on the chest, "I come prepared for anything!" He replaced the lock pick, slapped his headband back on and tipped the lid of the chest up with a wide smile. Chibi Chichiri sweatdropped--no wonder Kouji loved his headband so much. It was a bandit's salvation! Chibi Kouji, while the tiny monk was thinking this, was trying to reach inside the chest to snatch the nearest makeup container. In the process, he had to lean over inside and reach both arms toward the bottom of the chest.
"Ugh…this's too deep!" The chibi bandit grumbled--quietly--, wriggling around a bit. Chibi Chichiri blinked.
"Don't complain, just grab the makeup so we can leave already, no da!"
"Grabbing," was the short reply, before the chibi bandit suddenly gave a tiny squeak of surprise--and slipped right into the chest head-first, the lid coming crashing down behind him.
"Da!" Chibi Chichiri cried, startled.
"Itaiiii," the chibi bandit's voice was heard from inside, "Lift the lid and lemme out already!" Chibi Chichiri wasn't sure what to say. He had already tried lifting the lid--and it wouldn't budge. When it had crashed down, the chest had re-locked--and Kouji's lock pick kit was inside with him!