Chapter 9: Batteries Not Included
Dib sat in class and tuned out Ms. Bitters's lecture on Englands Victorian Period. He'd already written down the highlights: filth everywhere, Potato Famine, lots of death and doom. This left him to think about the alien in his room. Dib had taken Red out of the tank to assess the damage. But the Pak was beyond his ability to repair. The technology was simply unlike anything Dib had ever encountered. He'd tried to take the Pak off to examine it better, but Red had flooded the computer monitor with so many alarms that Dib quickly gave up on that notion.
Physically, at least, Red had been fairly healthy, though a bit out of shape. Red's muscles, luckily, hadn't atrophied and wasted away entirely. The body tank had proven to be a treasure trove of various machines, including one which moved Red's limbs occasionally in a semblance of exercise.
But how to fix that blasted ID Pak? There was only one person on Earth who knew enough about Irken technology to possibly be able to perform the repairs. Of course, that person would much rather kill Dib than help him. Still, Dib supposed that he had to try. Didn't he?
When lunchtime finally rolled around, Dib swallowed his chocolate moo juice and his pride. Step by agonizing step, he approached the alien's table. Zim scowled fiercely, but by some miracle, kept his mouth closed. Perhaps he just didn't want to blow his cover as a "normal human." Instead, the Irken just stabbed at his mystery meat with his fork. "So... Nice day we're having, huh?" Dib began. Oh, how he despised having to go to his enemy for help! Deciding that the best thing he could do was to just get this over with quickly, Dib blurted in one rushed breath, "I've got an Irken in my bedroom."
Zim twisted his fork into the belly of the meat before shooting a venomous glare at Dib. If looks could kill, Dib would have been sliced, diced, roasted, toasted, and nuked by that single glance. "You lie, Earth-stink," the alien hissed. "This is just another of your horrible moosey plans to capture me!" And just in case anyone in the lunchroom was listening - which no one was - Zim added a rousing, "I'm normal!"
Dib sighed. Why was he not surprised by Zim's reaction? Instead of arguing, Dib merely tossed a couple of photos of Red down in front of Zim. "Believe what you want, Zim. But he's really there and he needs help. There. He'd said his part. Leaving Zim to stare at the photos, Dib retreated to his table. The ball was in Zim's court now.
All afternoon, Dib continued to cast glances at the alien, but Zim gave no sign that he was even considering to give his aid. Zim merely stared straight towards the front of the room and chewed on his lower lip. None of his usual outbursts occurred - no declarations that he would one day rule humanity, no mention of how weak, stupid, and dirty humans were. Nothing.
Dib could only sigh and try - however unsuccessfully - to concentrate on his work. If Zim was going to help, he would say something.
After an endless day, the bell finally rang. Dib pushed his way through the frantic herd of children, and wasn't the least bit surprised to find no sign of Zim. The alien must have already gone home to try out another plan to destroy the human race.
The walk home for Dib was a lonely one, and all he could think about was Zim. How could the alien not want to help one of his own kind? Of course, Dib realized as he at last pushed open his bedroom door, it shouldn't come as any surprise. Zim was such and arrogant, self-centered pain in the...
"It's about time!" a familiar voice grumped. Dib froze. There, right there, sitting on his bed an examining one of Dib's action figures was none other than Zim himself! Setting the toy back down on the dresser, Zim hopped off the bed and began circling Red's tank. "You pathetic little Earth monkeys are so slow!"
"Primitive, but effective," Zim muttered after several minutes of poking at the tank. "Inform him that the mighty Zim has arrived to rescue him and get him out of there, human mud-pig!"
Dib had to bite his tongue as hard as he could to keep from telling Zim to do his own dirty work. Zim was here to help Red, after all. And so, with no other choice, Dib went to his computer, brought up the chat window, and let Red know that he'd found someone who could fix Red's ID Pak. Without bothering to wait for the comatose Irken's response, Dib got up and hooked a hose to the tank, which he pulled to the bathtub. Then he rushed back to his room and threw open the drain valve to the tank.
Zim, meanwhile, had meandered back to the bed and set himself down again, studying Dib with an intensity that made the human nervous. "Why do you want to help him so badly?" the tiny alien at last asked.
The question really didn't come as any surprise to Dib. He'd asked himself the same thing many times, after all. And when he'd figured out the answer, it was surprisingly simple. "Because he's not a monster. He's just a guy who wants to go home."
Zim growled and began monitoring the fluid levels. when at last the levels were low enough, the Irken and the boy wrestled the top off of the tank. Dib spread towels out on the floor while Zim hauled Red out of the tank. After looking over the unconscious Irken, Zim nodded grudgingly. "You humans have at least done well at keeping his body shell in good shape."
Dib shrugged and sat down on the floor to watch Zim work. The alien started off by carefully wiping all fluid off of the ID Pak and surrounding skin. "Wouldn't it be easier to just take the Pak off?" Dib interrupted.
Zim shot Dib one of his patented death glares. "Yes, it would be easier. But the body shell can't survive for very long without the ID Pak. Now shut up and let me work, stinkbeast." Dib opened his mouth to ask how long the body would survive, but shut it again quickly. Instead, he went to the computer to talk to Red.
'What is happening?' Red was asking in the chat screen.
Dib glanced over at Zim who was carefully removing the metal casing from off of the ID Pak. 'Zim is examining the damage,' Dib typed back.
'ZIM!? Sweet corn, boy! You might as well unplug me now!' Red started playing a memory file on the Windows Media Player. Dib put on headphones so as not to disturb Zim. Darkness filed the Media Player screen as Red's voice called out to shadowed forms, "Power's out planet-wide. The back-up generators for the Control Brains are working, but everyone else is on their own."
Red shut down the file. 'Zim did that on the day he was born, and that's not the only time! It's no wonder Tallest Miyuki sent him way out here.'
Well, that was certainly interesting. Dib frowned as he thought. If Zim were indeed that dangerous to his own people, then maybe he wasn't sent to Earth to capture the planet... "So, Zim, what does Miyuki want with Earth anyway?"
Zim glanced up from his examination of the innards of the ID Pak. "Tallest Miyuki wants nothing with this miserable ball of filth, hair monster. She's dead. Eaten by a giant blob creature."
Oh... Red was obviously behind the times. Dib relayed Zim's words to Red. Red responded with a shocked 'O_O' emoticon. 'How about Spork then? He was next in line.'
Spork? What kind of name was that? "So, what does Tallest Spork want with Earth?" Dib asked.
Zim didn't even bother to look up from the wiring this time. "The blob creature got him toon. Just let your friend know that the twin Tallests Red and Purple are in charge now."
And so Dib again played messenger boy, though he did wonder about the name coincidence. He had a Red here, yet one of the alien leaders was also Red? Red must be a popular name among the Irkens.
'Red?' came the comatose Irken's response. 'One of the new Tallests bears my name?' Then again, maybe the name wasn't all that common if Red was surprised by it.
Suddenly, the chat screen went blank! Dib whirled around, only to see Zim rolling up the cord which had just seconds ago connected Red to the computer. "What?" Zim grumbled, shooting yet another death glare at Dib. "It was in my way!" He turned back to his work, leaving Dib to fume silently. Once again left with nothing better to do, Dib watched Zim work again.
Zim was a careful worker, much more so than Dib ever would have believed. Before the little alien did anything to the machine on Red's back, he checked and then double checked to make sure it wouldn't lose all of Red's data. There was no big production when at last Zim stepped away from the body. He merely wiped a sheen of sweat off of his forehead and announced, "Done."
Almost immediately, the ID Pak informed everyone that a system check was in progress. The system check seemed to take forever, though when Dib glanced at the clock, only a few minutes had past. At long last, the pod-like machine declared, "Systems check complete! Reactivating unit!" Sparks flew from the ID Pak as a jolt of electricity zapped through Red. Dib held his breath as Red's fingers twitched.
Then, in a sudden rush of strength, Red managed to sit up. Dib let out a joyous shout as he started twirling Zim around the room. "It's alive!" Dib crowed - he'd always wanted to say that. "It's aliiiive!"
"Be quiet!" came Gaz's shout from down the hall.
And then the professor threw in his bit. "There'd better be Real Science going on in there, son!"
Both voices jerked Dib back down into reality. As rational thought returned, Dib released Zim with a startled yelp. Red, sitting on the floor and watching, finally uttered his first actual words to Dib. "Gee, your head is huge!"