Chapter 23
Secret Keeper
"What are we going to do about this?" James asked his wife as they entered their house, bouncing Harry on his side.
"I don't know," Lily sighed and ran a hand through her flowing red hair. "I mean – I don't know what I mean. I think that we need to tell the others though. They deserve to know what is going on with their friends, don't you think?" Lily asked as she glanced at her husband nervously.
"Whoa. What's wrong Lils?" James asked as he came up behind Lily and hugged her to him.
"Mama!" Harry squealed as he grabbed a fistful of Lily's hair.
"Ouch! Harry! What is it with you and your dad with my hair?" she asked as she began tugging on the strands of hair that her son had wrapped around his tiny fists and stuck in his mouth. "No, Harry. Let go of Mommy's hair. Please?" she begged as he pulled harder. "Mama!" was all Harry said before he began pumping his fists around wildly, taking Lily's hair with him.
"Ouch! James if you don't stop laughing and help me get my hair out of his hand you'll be sleeping on the couch!" Lily fumed as she felt some of the strands of hair pull out of her scalp.
"Alright, alright. No need to get your knickers in a twist," he muttered as he grabbed his sons hand and pried the tiny fingers apart.
"There!" Lily smiled as she stepped back and looked at her son. "Now," she declared as she plucked him out of James' arms and held him up in front of her face. "Can you tell me why you and your father are so enthralled by my hair?"
"Well, it smells good, and –" James started to say with a smirk.
"Erm, are we interrupting anything here?" Kayla asked with a smirk as she walked through the front door of Godric's Hollow holding Hermione.
"Nope!" Lily laughed and lowered Harry onto her hip, and immediately moved her hair out of his grasp.
"Yes!" James said, just for the heck of it.
Kayla ignored him and walked into the front parlor. "How'd your visit with Dumbledore go?" she asked as she laid Hermione down on the floor to crawl around.
"Yeah, how did that go?" Sirius asked as he walked in with his arms full of baby bags, and Aria and Remus following behind him.
"Well, depends on how you look at it," Lily stalled. "Dumbledore played with Harry a bit – actually, he didn't even look at James or me until the very end. He explained that the test was just to see if we were strong enough to fulfill the prophecy, and that if we hadn't been that we all would have been dead," she listed as she sunk down into one of the white couches and looked Kayla in the eye.
"And he also said that the 'fate of the world rests in our hands', and that we have a crazy bastard who wants to take over the world after us and our families. Nice to know, isn't it?" Lily asked sarcastically.
"What?" Kayla shrieked.
"Yeah. He suggested that we get secret keepers," James added as he sat down next to his wife and pulled her closer to him, all the while keeping an eye on his son, trying to make sure that he didn't get into that much trouble.
"James. I don't care about me, as long as my friends and family are safe," Sirius started, looking at his best friend somberly. "If you choose to get a secret keeper, I'll do it."
"Excuse me?" Kayla yelled as she jumped up from where she was sitting and glared at her husband. "Don't you think that you should consult with me – your wife first?" she yelled as she stabbed him in the chest with her finger.
"Kayla," Lily whispered. She realized right then, that she didn't want a secret keeper for her family. At least not one that she cared about, and that had their own family. She couldn't do that. "If we so choose to have a secret keeper," Lily started as soon as Kayla swung her gaze over her way. 'Jesus. Her eyes are freaking shooting daggers!' Lily cringed. Kayla was pissed. "It's not going to be Sirius. It's not going to be anyone who has a family of their own to lose. But the truth is," Lily sighed as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back onto the couches cushions. "I don't know if I even want one. I mean, we have to fight this thing sometime. I'd rather have it done sooner or later, if you know what I mean."
"Yea, I guess that I do get what you mean. But that doesn't mean that I'm done being mad at you Sirius Black!" she glared as she looked back at her husband. "How dare you try to leave us – your family- what the hell were you thinking!" she shouted, causing the babies to start shouting too.
"Shush," Lily told the babies as she picked them up and led them over to where she was sitting. "Here," Lily said as she handed James Harry and bounced Hermione on her knee, trying to get her to stop shouting baby gibberish.
"I'm sorry Kayla! Damn! I know that it was stupid. But I couldn't just sit there while my best friend was contemplating having a secret keeper! I didn't know what else to do! I can't leave you and Hermione. I can't! You're my life! Both of you!" he screamed back, looking Kayla in the eye.
"You are very stupid, did you know that?" Kayla sighed and crossed her arms under her breasts as she gazed at him with a frown on her face.
"Yes," Sirius laughed, "I get told that many times a day, thank you very much. I'm used to it."
"I love you Sirius, but if you ever say something like that again, I won't hesitate to kill you. Got that?" she scowled.
"Yes, I do."
"Good."
With that, Kayla sat back down and looked over at Aria. "So, have you decided on a date for the wedding yet?"
"Yes, actually we have." Aria blushed.
"We want it to be a couple of days after a full moon, so we decided to have it on November 15. I know that that only gives us a month and a half, but I don't want a big wedding," she explained as she saw Lily's eyebrow fly up towards her hairline. "I never had wanted one of those. Just those who mean most to me there."
"If you need any help, just come to Kayla and I. We'll help. It's not like we work or anything," Lily joked as she looked at her husband with a mock glare.
"Hey! It's not like I forced you to quit your job, now is it?" he defended as he held his arms up in surrender.
"Are you the one who got me pregnant?" Lily asked, enjoying messing with her husbands mind. Sometimes, he could be the most brilliant man on the face of the planet, but other times, Lily could swear that he had to be the dumbest. It seems like this was one of those times.
"I should hope so. But by the look of Harry's here hair, I'd have to say so," he joked while he messed up Harry's already messy hair.
"What?" Lily gaped at him. "You better hope that you were kidding. Or I swear that you will be dead," she growled.
"Jeez, Lily! Learn how to take a joke!" James laughed, and then saw her face and immediately stopped.
Lily scowled at him, then promptly smacked him upside the head, causing his glasses to slide down his nose.
"Hrumph!" she sounded as she turned her face away from him.
"Sorry! I was just kidding!" James tried to apologize.
Lily faced him and stuck out her tongue. "Well, it wasn't funny!" she said before she sat Hermione down on the floor and walked towards the kitchen.
"Oops," James smiled sheepishly. He knew that he just screwed up big time.
"Well? Are you going to talk to her?" Aria demanded of him.
"Uhh –" James deadpanned. Did he really want to put up with a mad Lily. 'Nope, not while I'm alive and she can kill me,' he thought as he stood up under the glares of Aria and Kayla and looked around for his wife timidly. 'She's really mad at you this time Potter,' he scolded to himself. 'You just had to open your mouth, didn't you? You know how touchy Lily is!' he continued to berate himself as he walked towards the kitchen.
"Lily?" he called out before he opened the door that gave way to the maroon and white kitchen. And there she was, leaning over the sink, looking out of the window overlooking their backyard.
"Lily?" he said again as he walked over towards her, his shoes clicking on the tiles loudly.
"Why us James? Why does it seem like everything always happens to us? Why can't any one leave us alone?" she whispered brokenly.
"I don't know, baby, I don't know," he sighed as he pulled her away from the sink and into his arms.
"It's not fair!" she cried as she hung on to him with all that she was worth, not noticing the tears staining her cheeks. "Just as we begin to think that our lives are stable, and normal, something happens!" she sobbed as she buried her face in his shoulder and let the tears run. She was tired of living like this. Every time her life got a little better, something came and made it worse than what it was before. Why couldn't she be happy?
"Shush," James soothed. James laid his cheek on top of Lily's head, and rubbed her back softly, trying to get her tears to go away. He hated seeing his wife like this. But that might be because Lily always seemed so strong. Like she didn't need anyone. Like she never cried. It sort of brought one in a state of shock to see her cry. To see her helpless.
"James," Lily hiccupped as her tears lessened.
"Yes?" James whispered. It felt eerie in the kitchen. Like any loud sounds would cause a destruction of some sort.
"I think," Lily sighed, and held on to James tighter. She really really didn't want to tell James what she thought. This was the first time too. She always wanted James to know what she thought. She always wanted to share her thoughts with him. But not this time. 'How is he going to react to this? He is absolutely attached to Harry. Just as I am,' Lily thought.
"Lily? What are you thinking about?" James asked as he continued to rub her back in soothing circles.
Lily drew her head away from his shoulder and looked into the sapphire blue eyes that captured her heart and sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "James," she started.
"Yes?" James questioned as he searched her emerald eyes. She was stalling. He knew that. But why did she sound so uneasy? That's what he wanted to know. "What is it? You know that you can tell me anything, don't you Lils?" James asked as she turned her head away from him.
"Lily?" James questioned, fear lacing into his voice as he turned her head towards him and caught her gaze once again. "You do know that you can tell me anything, don't you?"
"Yes," Lily sighed. "But I'm scared to tell you this. I don't know what you're going to think of me for suggesting this. I don't know how I feel for thinking this, but I think that it's the right thing to do," she told him. 'Why is this so hard?' she wondered.
"Lily? Why don't you just say it? Sometimes, it's easier to just spit it all out," he told her with a smile, and leaned down to peck her lightly on the mouth. "Now, what is it?"
"James, I think – I think that we should leave Harry with Dumbledore until all of this blows over." Lily said, saying the words so fast that they seemed to be one word.
"Lily, slow down, honey," James laughed and hugged her body close to him. "Now, once again, but this time, not that fast," he instructed.
Lily took a deep breath and told him slower this time, "James, I think that we should leave Harry with Dumbledore until all of this is over with. I don't want him hurt. I'd rather have us dead than Harry. He's safer with Dumbledore. No one will touch him with Dumbledore around."
James stood there, leaning against the counter holding his wife, shocked. 'Did she just suggest that we leave our son with someone else, for God knows how long?' he wondered. "Lil?" he managed to sputter.
"I know. I couldn't believe that I even considered it!" she exclaimed in frustration. "But I want Harry safe. And while Dumbledore can be . . . weird at times, he'll keep our son safe."
"You've made up your mind on this already, haven't you?" James questioned with a sigh.
Lily nodded her head silently in answer, causing James to draw in a deep breath and shut his eyes.
His son was going away. That was all that James could grasp. Harry was going to Hogwarts. And it was possible that he'd never see him again.
"But Lily. What if something happens to us? What if we never see him again?" James asked, opening his eyes and looking into Lily's.
"James, that's all the more reason to have him stay at Hogwarts! Do you honestly want your son to die?" Lily hissed as she pulled herself out of his embrace forcefully.
"NO! Why the hell would I want to see my own son die Lily?! What kind of person do you take me for? I thought that you knew me better than that!" James screamed, and threw his hands up in the air in a wild gesture.
"James, listen to yourself, would you? It seems like you care more about spending time with your son than his safety!" Lily yelled back.
"I do not! I care more about his safety than – " He started, but then quickly stopped, realizing that he had made it sound like he wanted his son to die along with him if that was what happened. "Oh my God. I'm a terrible Father," James moaned as he slid down the cubbords and sat on the tiles of the floor with his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands.
Lily sighed and sat down next to him. "James, don't." she demanded as she went to hug him and he shrugged her off.
"God Lily, how could I be that selfish?" James asked her, not looking up from the maroon tile that his gaze was fixed on.
"James, don't beat yourself up, okay? You just wanted your son. And that's reasonable, I mean, we haven't been one night without him since I have birth to him. We're attached to Harry, and we both know it, but we have to do what's right for him. What's in his best interest, and this is it unfortunately," she told him as he laid his forehead against her shoulder.
"Can we at least have a few days with him?" James asked with a desperate note to his voice. He wasn't ready to be without his son yet. He'd do it for his safety, he just didn't want to say goodbye right now. He couldn't handle that.
"No. I don't think that I could handle that so soon. He's my baby," Lily stressed almost frantically. The thought of being without her son, and him being so far away, made her panic.
"God, we're pathetic!" James laughed as he saw the panic stricken look on her face.
"I don't care!" Lily wailed. "He's my baby!" she repeated it as she scrambled up off the floor and began to pace.
"This isn't going to work." Lily told him as she faced James with an anxious look in her eyes.
James laughed and stood up, happy that he wasn't the only one who felt like having a nervous breakdown. "We need lives Lily. I mean . . . we're going insane over having the one wizard that we trust more than any other with our child!"
Lily looked at James and managed a small smile. "It's going to feel empty around here without him," she admitted as she sat down at one of the kitchen chairs.
"I know," James admitted as he sat across from her. "But we'll manage. Just like we did before he was here."
"What was it like before Harry came along?" Lily asked in all honesty.
"Uhh. . . " James tried to think.
"You're right, we really do need lives," Lily agreed with a shake of her head.
~*~
Three days later, Lily and James were standing in front of Dumbledore's office door just staring at it. They really didn't want to walk in and give their son over to this man. No matter if they trusted him or not.
"Lily! James!" Dumbledore greeted happily as he opened the door and saw his past students standing there staring at nothing, with their son in the middle of them. "And 'Lil Harry!" he exclaimed with barely repressed glee. He absolutely adored children! He was close to giddy with the prospect of having one around him for a while. It had been so long since he'd had one around.
"Okay, well, here's his things, you know what to do with them," Lily said as she handed over the shrunk box of toys, another of supplies, and another of dippers.
Dumbledore took the objects and placed them on a nearby table and ushered James and Lily in.
Lily and James walked over to the cushioned chairs and sat down. This was harder than they imagined.
"Is there anything that I should know about him?" Dumbledore asked as he twined his fingers together and looked at the couple in front of him.
"Umm . . . he likes his food warmed up in the mornings, and cold in the nights. And he sleeps straight through nights now, and takes his nap around 1, and if he's fussy, just put a singing spell around him and he'll fall right asleep," Lily started.
"And he likes to climb on things, so be careful. And he likes anything that shimmers, so you might want to put those kind of things out of reach," James instructed with a smile.
Dumbledore nodded his head and looked in between the young couple. He wished that he could assure himself that they'd be fine, that they'd end up coming out alive, but he didn't know for sure. He just hoped that they did, for Harry's sake. He needed a family.
"And, that's really it. Besides for being a little trouble maker, he's practically well behaved," Lily sighed as she looked at her sleeping son. She really didn't want to leave him, but it was for his best interest.
Dumbledore nodded his head, and watched as James got up and walked over to him with Harry snuggled up on his shoulder.
"Take care of him, Professor," James said as he handed over his son with a kiss on the forehead.
"Of course. You'll see him again, and he'll be just the same," the old man smiled as he accepted the peacefully sleeping child.
Next, Lily got up out of her chair and walked over to her son. "I love you, Harry," she whispered as she kissed his tiny lips and ran a hand over his hair before turning away and walking towards the door.
"Love you, little guy," James whispered as he followed his wife out of the office and headed home. He felt like he was leaving a part of him behind, and it wasn't a feeling that he cared to have.
"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, Harry. Let's just hope that you see your parents again soon," Dumbledore sighed as he headed towards his quarters to lay Harry down in the crib that he fashioned for him.
~*~
Authors Note:
Hello all! How'd you like? I think that it got a little sentimental on you all, but yea. I don't know what it's like to have someone else take care of your child for who knows how long, so I tried my best.
I hope that I didn't over act it.
And you should all thank my new friend Paddy for this chapter. She pushed the process about.
Well, I hope that you all like!!
Review!! I'm begging you here!
Mistress del Mare