"Troubled Times" Bloopers - Caught on Processor
A/N - My beta sends me my edited chapters back, with not just corrections, but with silly comments. So we came up with the idea of making a bloopers chapter from her comments. Enjoy!
***
Shannon: Before we start, can I be Claire?
Jenna: Only if I can be Brigitte.
Shannon: Fine with me, but now we'll actually have to find someone crazy enough to produce this movie. (Bialystock and Bloom walk in.) Gentlemen, would you care to take a break from the theatre and produce a movie? (After conference, they nod.)
Jenna: Who?
***
MWATOHH: (See "Blind Leading the Blind") Scene 1, Take 3. Action *Snap*
Gustave: Brigitte La Roach, will you... *laughter in background* What?
Shannon: (Behind camera, cracking up.) 'La Roach?' It's Laroche.
Jenna: (Falling off bench) Roach! Bugs!
Gustave: I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king? *More laughter*
***
Brigitte: No, seriously. No, I am! Sorry.
Gustave: (Hiding laughter) Yes, seriously. Brigitte, I miss you more than anything.
Brigitte: Your family?
Gustave: I live with my family, so how can I miss them?"
Brigitte: Your friends?
Gustave: I have no true friends to miss.
Brigitte: Quite the drama queen, aren't we. But...
Gustave: Just you. Only you. Brigitte, I wanted to talk to you.
Brigitte: What about?
Gustave: How long have we known one another?
Brigitte: Years upon years, months upon months, weeks upon weeks, days upon days,
minutes upon minutes...
Shannon: (Laughing) Cut.
***
Enjolras: He seemed rather irritated that I interrupted his conversation. However, I did occupy the garden before they did. Haha! It's MY garden, you proposing drama-lover! (All oddly stare before laughing.)
Jenna: Tell the snack people to stop giving us Ginger Ale.
***
Brigitte: Gustave Pontmercy, I accept your proposal. Yes, I will marry you. (Adopts high pitched, annoying voice) Oh, goody! I've tricked my daddy-waddy and I'm sooo happy about it. Yay! Plus, I've got the lead male!! Whoopdedoo!!
Shannon: Jenna....(laughs) Cut.
***
Enjolras: Okay. I lied.
Jenna: (To Shannon) You've got serious (Sirius) competition for Enjolras, love.
Shannon: Shut up, we're rolling.
Gustave: Why? I don't need that now, especially with exams right around the corner.
Enjolras: Since when are final exams held in March?
Jenna: Oh, he's so like me it's scary...
Shannon: Jenna!
***
Eponine: And I'm being a wife
. Marius: We don't need dinner.
Jenna: (Waggles eyebrows) Mmmm, then what are you suggesting we do with our time?
Shannon: Jenna, you're a pervert.
Jenna: Well, don't blame me, blame...oh, I don't know...uhh...Hey, Guy's the resident pervert. Blame Guy.
Shannon: Guy, your boyfriend? (Shannon runs as fast as she can while Jenna pursues.)
***
(In a brainstorming session)
Jenna: Excuse my language, but it can't be helped. I'm in a weird mood. What the Sam Hill is with all the smirking? God, they're not Draco Malfoy, as much as you would love that you sick, sick, soul. Cut a smirk or five.
Shannon: Don't you dare insult my dear Draco.
***
Marius: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Baron Marius Pontmercy. And you are?
Jenna: Ooh, Baron. Scare me with the title. Aaaah! See? I'm soo scared. Stupid. If you're talking to a girl from the streets, introducing yourself as someone from fairly high society is NOT the way to go. It'll make her clam up.
Shannon: Dear God...
***
Marius: Fauchelevent? No...Cosette?
Cosette: Hello, Marius." (High pitched voice) Oh, hello. I just decided to drop by to rub in your face that I didn't need you after all, see? I married anyway.
Shannon: Jenna! Get out of that costume! You're Brigitte!
***
Marius: And what is the reason you have for making such a long journey? Surely not just to see me.
Cosette: Oh, of course not. (Voice dramatically deepens) Marius...I am...your father. I thought I'd be the bitter one, but you apparently are. All these years have hardened you, haven't they? All the romance we once knew is now gone. You were never the 'let's get down to business' type of man.
Shannon: Oh, yeah. It was kind of easy for it to disappear BECAUE IT WAS NEVER THERE, YOU HARPY. Jenna for the last time, get out of that costume and stop reciting lines while the camera is rolling.
***
Marius: Luucy, I'm ho-ome!
Eponine: Wrong house. I mean, hooray.
***
Gustave: That doesn't mean I'm not hospitable.(Cue angelic music and funny lighting trick, which implies that he is a god-sent. Claire throws herself at him.)
Claire: Oh, marry me!
Gustave: Uh...no?
Claire: Drat.
Gustave: Okay, fine.
***
Claire: Just for that, you'll be the first one to go to her bedchamber. Muhaha! I am evil governess NOW!! Ever see "Striking Distance?" "Who's' the best cop now, huh? WHO'S THE BEST COP NOW?"
Jenna: Hey...
***
Leon: Some of us more than others.
Jenna: Oh, get over yourself.
Leon: Hey!
***
Marius: Do you want that case, Leon? You are more than welcome to it because I sure as hell don't want it!
Eponine: Yeah, and I sure as hell don't want you to take it!
Marius: Then why am I?
Eponine: Evil whims of the authoress.
***
(Another brainstorming session)
Shannon: (Reading) "A Prince I don't need..."
Jenna: I swear, you're worse than Shakespeare. Try, "I don't need a prince."
***
(More brainstorming)
Shannon: (Reading) He walks to his wife first, and kisses her on the cheek.
Jenna: Well, I hope you're not going to tell me that he was going to walk over to his lawyer second and kiss him, too, because that'd be scary.
***
Enjolras: (Smugly) Eponine told us all about you.
Jenna: Why is he smug? Is this related to the smirking? (To Shannon) You need to lay off the Malfoys, they're rubbing off on you.
Shannon: NO! I love Draco.
***
Cosette: So, if worse comes to worse, you're going to abandon my husband and go to your son's wedding?
Marius: No, I'm going to miss one of the most important occasions of my life for some wench I don't like and her cheating husband.
Cosette: Oh, alright. *Laughter*
***
Grantaire: His mind works far too fast for me.
Jenna: Many things work too fast for you, Grantaire, like the pony express.
Grantaire: What are you insinuating?
***
(Brainstorming)
Shannon: (Reading) "April finally passed, and before long, France found itself in the middle of May."
Jenna: France looks around dazedly and says, "Whoa! How'd we get here? Weird."
Shannon: Oh my God.
***
Gustave: Is it...me?
Claire: You?
Jenna: (In shocked tones) "Me?" "You?" Articulate, aren't you, Shannon?
***
Cosette: Thank you very much, but I think we should get back to England before we cause any more problems.
Jenna: Thank God. Go away.
Cosette: Excuse me!
***
(Damn brainstorming)
Shannon: So, Leon will be peering out the window, looking through the curtains, and...
Jenna: Sure he's not a Dursley? Think 4th book, Weasleys come to pick up Harry. Next thing you'll hear will be, "Which should be any minute!" *hands*
Shannon: (Laughing, falls off chair.)
***
Gustave: Don't talk that way. Of course you will make it through this. Now, go back to sleep.
Brigitte: No! I'm going to die!
Shannon: Good.
Brigitte: Hey!
***
Charlotte: I don't know if I should tell you.
Gustave: What?
Charlotte: I think that she was pregnant. (Cue dramatic soap opera music, laughter.)
***
Leon: She came into your life far later than my daughter did, and she left much earlier. You can't possibly tell me that you loved her.
Jenna: You're deaf, dear. He's said it about 15 times already. HE LOVES HER. Get over it.
Gustave: I did. But make no mistake about my feelings for Brigitte, because I loved her regardless of my feelings for anyone else.
Leon: Like hell you did!
Jenna: Oh, don't be melodramatic. Then again, I suppose you should be...
***
Marius: What's going on? Is there a problem?
Gustave: Oh, no...We're just having a friendly chat. Really.
Marius: Alright. (Walks away. Laughter.)
***
(Brainstorming)
Shannon: (Reading) "Not really a woman, but still not a girl..."
Jenna: NOOOOO!!!!! DON'T START SINGING!!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT, PLEASE!! ANYTHING!!!!!!!!
Shannon: (Just to spite Jenna) *I'M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN ALL I NEED IS TIME A MOMENT THAT IS MINE WHILE I'M IN BETWEEN!
(Later)
Shannon: (Reading) "Gustave hopelessly glanced out the window, picturing exactly where Claire was. He was going to get off at the first stop and go back to Claire even if it killed him."
Jenna: (Reciting) "How far you willing to go for this girl?" "I'd die for her." "Oh. good."
Shannon: Oh, God.
***
THE FINAL END!
A/N - My beta sends me my edited chapters back, with not just corrections, but with silly comments. So we came up with the idea of making a bloopers chapter from her comments. Enjoy!
***
Shannon: Before we start, can I be Claire?
Jenna: Only if I can be Brigitte.
Shannon: Fine with me, but now we'll actually have to find someone crazy enough to produce this movie. (Bialystock and Bloom walk in.) Gentlemen, would you care to take a break from the theatre and produce a movie? (After conference, they nod.)
Jenna: Who?
***
MWATOHH: (See "Blind Leading the Blind") Scene 1, Take 3. Action *Snap*
Gustave: Brigitte La Roach, will you... *laughter in background* What?
Shannon: (Behind camera, cracking up.) 'La Roach?' It's Laroche.
Jenna: (Falling off bench) Roach! Bugs!
Gustave: I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king? *More laughter*
***
Brigitte: No, seriously. No, I am! Sorry.
Gustave: (Hiding laughter) Yes, seriously. Brigitte, I miss you more than anything.
Brigitte: Your family?
Gustave: I live with my family, so how can I miss them?"
Brigitte: Your friends?
Gustave: I have no true friends to miss.
Brigitte: Quite the drama queen, aren't we. But...
Gustave: Just you. Only you. Brigitte, I wanted to talk to you.
Brigitte: What about?
Gustave: How long have we known one another?
Brigitte: Years upon years, months upon months, weeks upon weeks, days upon days,
minutes upon minutes...
Shannon: (Laughing) Cut.
***
Enjolras: He seemed rather irritated that I interrupted his conversation. However, I did occupy the garden before they did. Haha! It's MY garden, you proposing drama-lover! (All oddly stare before laughing.)
Jenna: Tell the snack people to stop giving us Ginger Ale.
***
Brigitte: Gustave Pontmercy, I accept your proposal. Yes, I will marry you. (Adopts high pitched, annoying voice) Oh, goody! I've tricked my daddy-waddy and I'm sooo happy about it. Yay! Plus, I've got the lead male!! Whoopdedoo!!
Shannon: Jenna....(laughs) Cut.
***
Enjolras: Okay. I lied.
Jenna: (To Shannon) You've got serious (Sirius) competition for Enjolras, love.
Shannon: Shut up, we're rolling.
Gustave: Why? I don't need that now, especially with exams right around the corner.
Enjolras: Since when are final exams held in March?
Jenna: Oh, he's so like me it's scary...
Shannon: Jenna!
***
Eponine: And I'm being a wife
. Marius: We don't need dinner.
Jenna: (Waggles eyebrows) Mmmm, then what are you suggesting we do with our time?
Shannon: Jenna, you're a pervert.
Jenna: Well, don't blame me, blame...oh, I don't know...uhh...Hey, Guy's the resident pervert. Blame Guy.
Shannon: Guy, your boyfriend? (Shannon runs as fast as she can while Jenna pursues.)
***
(In a brainstorming session)
Jenna: Excuse my language, but it can't be helped. I'm in a weird mood. What the Sam Hill is with all the smirking? God, they're not Draco Malfoy, as much as you would love that you sick, sick, soul. Cut a smirk or five.
Shannon: Don't you dare insult my dear Draco.
***
Marius: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Baron Marius Pontmercy. And you are?
Jenna: Ooh, Baron. Scare me with the title. Aaaah! See? I'm soo scared. Stupid. If you're talking to a girl from the streets, introducing yourself as someone from fairly high society is NOT the way to go. It'll make her clam up.
Shannon: Dear God...
***
Marius: Fauchelevent? No...Cosette?
Cosette: Hello, Marius." (High pitched voice) Oh, hello. I just decided to drop by to rub in your face that I didn't need you after all, see? I married anyway.
Shannon: Jenna! Get out of that costume! You're Brigitte!
***
Marius: And what is the reason you have for making such a long journey? Surely not just to see me.
Cosette: Oh, of course not. (Voice dramatically deepens) Marius...I am...your father. I thought I'd be the bitter one, but you apparently are. All these years have hardened you, haven't they? All the romance we once knew is now gone. You were never the 'let's get down to business' type of man.
Shannon: Oh, yeah. It was kind of easy for it to disappear BECAUE IT WAS NEVER THERE, YOU HARPY. Jenna for the last time, get out of that costume and stop reciting lines while the camera is rolling.
***
Marius: Luucy, I'm ho-ome!
Eponine: Wrong house. I mean, hooray.
***
Gustave: That doesn't mean I'm not hospitable.(Cue angelic music and funny lighting trick, which implies that he is a god-sent. Claire throws herself at him.)
Claire: Oh, marry me!
Gustave: Uh...no?
Claire: Drat.
Gustave: Okay, fine.
***
Claire: Just for that, you'll be the first one to go to her bedchamber. Muhaha! I am evil governess NOW!! Ever see "Striking Distance?" "Who's' the best cop now, huh? WHO'S THE BEST COP NOW?"
Jenna: Hey...
***
Leon: Some of us more than others.
Jenna: Oh, get over yourself.
Leon: Hey!
***
Marius: Do you want that case, Leon? You are more than welcome to it because I sure as hell don't want it!
Eponine: Yeah, and I sure as hell don't want you to take it!
Marius: Then why am I?
Eponine: Evil whims of the authoress.
***
(Another brainstorming session)
Shannon: (Reading) "A Prince I don't need..."
Jenna: I swear, you're worse than Shakespeare. Try, "I don't need a prince."
***
(More brainstorming)
Shannon: (Reading) He walks to his wife first, and kisses her on the cheek.
Jenna: Well, I hope you're not going to tell me that he was going to walk over to his lawyer second and kiss him, too, because that'd be scary.
***
Enjolras: (Smugly) Eponine told us all about you.
Jenna: Why is he smug? Is this related to the smirking? (To Shannon) You need to lay off the Malfoys, they're rubbing off on you.
Shannon: NO! I love Draco.
***
Cosette: So, if worse comes to worse, you're going to abandon my husband and go to your son's wedding?
Marius: No, I'm going to miss one of the most important occasions of my life for some wench I don't like and her cheating husband.
Cosette: Oh, alright. *Laughter*
***
Grantaire: His mind works far too fast for me.
Jenna: Many things work too fast for you, Grantaire, like the pony express.
Grantaire: What are you insinuating?
***
(Brainstorming)
Shannon: (Reading) "April finally passed, and before long, France found itself in the middle of May."
Jenna: France looks around dazedly and says, "Whoa! How'd we get here? Weird."
Shannon: Oh my God.
***
Gustave: Is it...me?
Claire: You?
Jenna: (In shocked tones) "Me?" "You?" Articulate, aren't you, Shannon?
***
Cosette: Thank you very much, but I think we should get back to England before we cause any more problems.
Jenna: Thank God. Go away.
Cosette: Excuse me!
***
(Damn brainstorming)
Shannon: So, Leon will be peering out the window, looking through the curtains, and...
Jenna: Sure he's not a Dursley? Think 4th book, Weasleys come to pick up Harry. Next thing you'll hear will be, "Which should be any minute!" *hands*
Shannon: (Laughing, falls off chair.)
***
Gustave: Don't talk that way. Of course you will make it through this. Now, go back to sleep.
Brigitte: No! I'm going to die!
Shannon: Good.
Brigitte: Hey!
***
Charlotte: I don't know if I should tell you.
Gustave: What?
Charlotte: I think that she was pregnant. (Cue dramatic soap opera music, laughter.)
***
Leon: She came into your life far later than my daughter did, and she left much earlier. You can't possibly tell me that you loved her.
Jenna: You're deaf, dear. He's said it about 15 times already. HE LOVES HER. Get over it.
Gustave: I did. But make no mistake about my feelings for Brigitte, because I loved her regardless of my feelings for anyone else.
Leon: Like hell you did!
Jenna: Oh, don't be melodramatic. Then again, I suppose you should be...
***
Marius: What's going on? Is there a problem?
Gustave: Oh, no...We're just having a friendly chat. Really.
Marius: Alright. (Walks away. Laughter.)
***
(Brainstorming)
Shannon: (Reading) "Not really a woman, but still not a girl..."
Jenna: NOOOOO!!!!! DON'T START SINGING!!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT, PLEASE!! ANYTHING!!!!!!!!
Shannon: (Just to spite Jenna) *I'M NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN ALL I NEED IS TIME A MOMENT THAT IS MINE WHILE I'M IN BETWEEN!
(Later)
Shannon: (Reading) "Gustave hopelessly glanced out the window, picturing exactly where Claire was. He was going to get off at the first stop and go back to Claire even if it killed him."
Jenna: (Reciting) "How far you willing to go for this girl?" "I'd die for her." "Oh. good."
Shannon: Oh, God.
***
THE FINAL END!