Sorry it's been so long, work got crazy… many thanks to the folks that have sent me encouragement. I think it gets a bit more… hmmm… something. I know this is a short one, but let me know if I should go on. Hee.
A bare nod, and the room in Logan's mind faded. Ariel opened her eyes, sitting on her own couch, Logan's hand in hers. Her face was wet with tears as he pulled his hand away, standing and turning away as he had been before, in his own space. Ariel took a breath, rose and walked to her desk, wiping her face with a tissue. Okay, Waters. You can handle this. You've seen this before. She nodded to herself, tried to imagine the best way through.
"Logan." As she walked back to the couch, she found herself slipping back into her counselor mode. "Would you like to talk about this?" She sat down and looked up at his back, only noticing then that his shoulders were shaking quietly. "Oh, Logan." Instincts that weren't entirely professional made her stand and put a hand on his back. "It'll be alright."
"No. No it won't." He jerked toward the door, and stopped with his hand on the knob. "It will never be alright."
She sighed. "Maybe not. But it can be… better."
"No." His surge forward was stopped by her sudden plea.
"Please don't go."
He stood, frozen at her words.
"Please, Logan." She felt him struggling, and stepped closer. "You don't have to keep running."
He turned then, and looked into her eyes, green and bright with tears. With a movement that neither one began, they fell into each other's arms, and she held him as he choked out the words through his pain and anger. "I… that's why when Rogue… I thought I'd done it again… I thought- just when I thought I could block it out…"
She held him tighter, willing strength into him. "You're not the only one who's gone through this, Logan." He pulled back slowly.
"What are you talking about? How could anyone else?"
She shook her head, her hands on his forearms. "What happened was horrible. But the condition you're dealing with is post-traumatic stress syndrome." She drew him with her over to the couch and they sat down. "It happens a great deal in the military."
"I doubt that anyone has done… that."
She cleared her throat. "I had a military client who was ordered to clear a village during a raid… he shot a woman who wouldn't back down. As if that didn't haunt him enough, it wasn't until she fell that he saw the child behind her, who had been shot as well." Logan winced. "And he knew what he was doing when he did it."
"Yeah. But he was following orders. He has…"
"An excuse? After everything you've been through?"
"It's not the same."
"You didn't decide to go kill someone." He pulled back again, but she held onto his arms. "You didn't. It was an accident, Logan. A terrible, terrible accident." She ran her hand over his hair.
"I don't know how you can even look at me."
"It's not that hard."
"I feel so… trapped by this."
"Logan, you've been in this state for so long, it's amazing you're sane at all."
He tried to give her a dirty look. "'At all'. Gee, thanks."
Ariel gave him a little smile and brushed her hand against his cheek. "Well, that's not bad. For you. But really, this is something we can work on." He looked into her eyes, and she felt the pressure of connection. "Logan?"
For a moment he leaned toward her, his gaze searching hers. Then he pulled back, shook his head. "I gotta go." He was halfway to the door when he felt her hand on his arm, pulling him to face her. "Ariel, I –"
In her heeled boots she was nearly his height. Her hand slipped behind his head, pulling his face closer to hers. "I'm still not afraid."
The despair that burned in his expression poured out into his voice. "How?"
She looked into his eyes. "I'm not afraid. And you know I'm telling the truth." Her other hand smoothed over his cheek, and she pressed her lips gently against his. "Trust me."
He didn't put up much of a fight. When they separated, he shook his head. "I can't. I can't risk hurting you."
"You won't."
"You don't know that." He stared at her, frowned. "How could you?"
She tangled her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and grinned. "Let's just say that I think I know another reason the Professor called me in."