… The More They Stay The Same
Rae was just beginning to think of dinner when Eliana came toddling into the kitchen. "Hi, Sweetie, are you alright?" Rae crouched down so that she was at eye level with her daughter and was rewarded with a hug and a big kiss.
"Nana, Momma." Eliana smiled and waited for her snack.
"What do you have to say first?"
Eliana looked at her mother and then smiled again, "Peeze."
"Ok, I'll get you one." Rae moved across to the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, picked up a hand of bananas, and carefully removed the one that looked the ripest. "I'll just cut it up for you."
"No!" Eliana almost shouted the word.
"Oh, do you want an apple instead?" Rae knew just how often the child changed her mind and so she picked up an apple as well.
"No, nana, Momma … peeze." She raised her hand to try to take the banana from Rae who thought for a moment.
"You want it like this, like Mummy eats it?" The smile that she got told Rae all she needed to know. "Ok, well, you go into the family room and sit on the sofa and I'll bring it in for you." The little girl moved at lightening speed to where she had been sent and by the time Rae had followed her she was scrambling up onto the seat so that she could have her prize.
With a smile Rae carefully peeled the banana about a third of the way down and then she sat next to her daughter. "Ok, now listen … no, listen." Rae moved it out of the way of the little chubby hand which was trying desperately to get a hold of it. "When you have eaten this bit," Rae pointed to the white banana, "Call me and I'll come peel it some more, ok? But slowly, you must eat it slowly."
"K, taaa." Eliana took the banana and Rae watched as she took the first bite, just to make sure that she wasn't going to choke. Once she was sure that everything was fine she kissed her daughter on the top of her head and returned to the kitchen.
Two minutes later Eliana was back. "Nana gone." She had the empty skin in her hand, a very confused look on her face and she had two huge tears in her big brown eyes.
"What? Ana, I told you to eat it slowly, you're a naughty girl … no, tears don't work with me, now go and play, there is nothing more till tea time." Rae picked her daughter up and moved with her into the family room.
"Nana gone, Momma… more, peeze." Eliana's voice was coming out in gulps as the tears poured down her face, but Rae wasn't having it, she knew that Ana had understood what she said, and had hurried it anyway.
"No, I told you not to rush and you still did, Mummy is really cross." With that Rae put the crying child into the playpen and, leaving the door open so that she could keep in contact with her, she went to try once again to prepare the dinner.
It was almost three hours later before Rae and Jesse, who had arrived home just in time for roast chicken with roast potatoes and broccoli, managed to finally sit down together. Eliana had remained upset all evening, and when they had put Anneya to bed she had gone too. Now the house was quiet, all the dishes were happily cleaning themselves in the dishwasher, and they were snuggled up together in the family room, not really saying or doing anything, just enjoying each other's company.
Rae moved a little bit and Jesse's hand touched something in-between the cushions of the seat. "Oh, yuk, what is this?"
"What is what?" Rae looked puzzled, until her husband gingerly removed whatever it was he had found. It was a long sausage shaped … something, Rae didn't know what, and it was brown, and slimy. Suddenly she realised exactly what it was, and the guilt and love that it evoked in her was almost overwhelming. "Oh, my God, oh, Jess, that's awful."
"I know it's awful, what is it?"
"It's half a banana." Slowly Rae explained what had happened, feeling even guiltier with every word. Jesse on the other hand didn't find it awful at all, and by the time Rae had finished speaking he was laughing so much that he was having trouble breathing.
"Jesse, don't, it's not funny, poor little thing, she told me it had gone, and I yelled at her…" Rae thought for a moment. "She must have done just as I told her to, and when she got to where the skin hadn't been peeled back, climbed down from the sofa to come to me."
"And … and squeezed it so hard …" Jesse could hardly continue, and the tears were now running down his cheeks. "That it shot … shot out of the skin … and down between the … cushions, oh, God … Rae, I can't remember the last time … I laughed like this." Jesse couldn't say any more and he lay back on the sofa, his hand over his mouth as he tried to get himself back under control. Finally, he looked at his wife, his eyes still bright with tears, and asked, "What are you gonna say to her?"
Rae shook her head, she was still mortified, "Nothing, she won't understand now, but I will listen to her a little closer in future, poor baby… I'll just go see if she's ok." Rae got to her feet and moved quietly towards the nursery, she opened the door and looked in. Anneya was fast asleep on her back, her thumb in her mouth and her toy in her other hand, Eliana was lying on her side, she had her thumb in her mouth too, but whereas Anneya sucked it any chance she got, with Eliana it was a sure sign that she had gone to sleep upset, she also had her soft dolly clutched to her and Rae's heart constricted. She loved them both so much, and couldn't believe that with a son already married she had another family to enjoy bringing up. Rae moved quietly over to Eliana's crib and, leaning over the rail, brushed the soft hair off her face and then placed a kiss on her cheek. The little girl stirred slightly and then with a smile returned to her dreams.
As Rae turned she saw Jesse standing in the doorway and moved across and into his arms. Together they walked back to the main part of the house, and with a sigh Rae put the events of the day into her memory, knowing that they would stay there for a very long time. Someday, when she is older, I will apologize, and tell her what happened, I love you Ana, really love you.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Daniel Upton had moved into Steve and Jo's house after the six month investigation period, and they had all trodden on egg shells for a while. The first few days had been quiet and strained, but after a week they had argued for the first time.
He had been on the phone in the hallway with one of his friends from the school that he had been unable to attend when his foster parents had sent him back to the children's home. Jo and Steve had come to the decision that if he was happy at that school then they would make sure, between themselves and Michael, that he would be able to get there each morning.
Steve and Jo were sitting in the morning room, both of them concentrating on their own things. Steve had a pile of work folders, and he was trying to sort out the relevant from the irrelevant information in order to clear his desk of some of the paperwork. At the beginning of the conversation they had smiled and listened with pleasure as the boy chatted, but, after half an hour things, were getting a little loud and unnecessary.
"Man, I'm telling you she could sit under my tree any time she liked. She is hot."
Steve looked across at Jo and she smiled. "Leave him be, just a little longer, I guess he is just tryin' to impress his friends."
Daniel began to talk again, and it was clear that he was no longer speaking about the person he thought was 'hot'. "Yeah, well, she is a mean old bitch … let her try to tell me, I don't have to take that crap from anyone, least of all a damned teacher."
Steve got up, and with a quick glance at his wife went out into the hallway. He stood in Daniel's eye line and just tapped his watch. Then he put five fingers up.
"Hold on, Craig." Daniel moved the receiver down from his ear and looked at Steve. "What?"
"You have been on there for over a half hour, it's time to come off, and watch your language." Steve made sure that he kept his voice down so that he didn't embarrass the boy.
"I haven't finished, if you've got a problem with that, go tell your congressman." The words were spat out with such venom that Steve had to resist the impulse to step backwards.
"Ok, that's it, this conversation is over. You either tell your friend that you are going, or I cut you off, got it?"
"Craig, I gotta go man … yeah, well, what do you expect from a pig…" The phone was snatched from his hand and Steve crashed it back down onto the cradle.
"In there, now!" Steve stood, rock steady, and pointed into the morning room. He saw Michael come out of his kitchen and assess the situation before retreating the way he'd come. He also saw Daniel consider, albeit briefly, the possibilities of ignoring the man in front of him, and deciding that it was a really bad idea.
When the two of them entered, Jo was standing up, her arms folded, with a look of surprise on her face.
"First of all, when I say that it is time to come off the phone, you do as you are told, right?"
"Whatever." Daniel looked at his feet, his voice sullen and uncooperative.
"Second, I will not be called names in my own home. I may have to put up with that sort of thing when I am working, but here, I certainly do not. If you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all."
"You can afford a lousy telephone call; I'll bet you are on there for hours on end when everybody is out of the house." Daniel turned on Jo, moving towards her, the anger in his eyes mingling with defiance and Steve moved with him.
"Yes, I can afford it." Jo's voice was soft, and she was determined to keep it that way. "But that isn't the point. If you need to use the phone you have to ask Steve, Michael or me. If we say no, then you don't use it. There are times when we are expectin' calls, especially Steve, an' we need to keep the line free."
"He's got a cell."
"So do you, an' we are payin' for your credit. Daniel, we want to have you here, we want you to become part of our family, but you have to want it too."
"Yeah, well you have got a funny way of showing it."
"What? What do you mean?" Steve was confused now, and this let Daniel gain the upper hand for a split second.
"If you don't know then I guess there is no point in this talk is there?" And with that Daniel stalked out of the room.
It was just over an hour later that the three of them sat down at a very cold and frosty dining table. Steve and Jo tried to make conversation and to draw the boy into it, but with no success. Finally, just as the dessert plates were cleared, Steve decided that he'd had enough.
"Do you want to talk to us? If we are missing the point somewhere, maybe you should explain it."
"Yeah, right, like you'd listen."
"Of course we'll listen, Daniel, I already told you, we want you to be a part of our family, but if you don't open up, just a little bit there is nothin' we can do to make you feel more at home." Jo moved her chair a little closer to the boy, hoping that it wouldn't scare him off.
"What's the point? You have already decided that I'm no good."
"What? When did we ever say that?" Steve stopped talking, not knowing what to say next.
"All the kids around here, go to that posh school down the road, me, I have to carry on at the crappy one I went to before. I guess you are too embarrassed to have me study nearer to home."
"No, Honey," Jo wasn't sure what reaction it would get but it seemed right to call him that. "Your social worker said you liked that school, an' that you were gettin' on really well. We thought you would want to stay there."
"Oh, well, yeah, but now, look at me, I'm stuck inside these walls I get up, go to school, come home and I can't go anywhere and hang with my mates, all I can do is my homework, and you never help me with that, and it was fine when my foster dad worked as a truck driver and the woman was the operator at the launderette. But now, man."
Jo looked across at Steve, but her question was addressed to Daniel. "Why does it make a difference that you aren't with them anymore? Daniel, from what we understood you just didn't get on, an' they asked for you to be taken away."
"Lady, look around you. You must have rocks in your head …"
"Daniel!" Steve's voice cut across the boy as he spoke.
"Leave it, Steve… Go on." Jo wanted to know what she had done to get such a reaction.
"Yeah, well, I liked them, they just didn't like me. I didn't ask to be moved, it just happened. And then what do I find, I have to live with a pig, a foster mom who doesn't even work and has a butler, obviously rich but keeps her money way away from me. I don't even have a computer, or a Playstation 2, just a lousy radio, and I have to have that so low I can hardly hear it. Like the neighbours are gonna complain, you can't even see the next house from here." Daniel stood up and the chair fell behind him.
"Pick that up." Steve had no idea what to say, but he had a feeling that wouldn't really help.
"Pick it up yourself, Dad."
"Daniel, please, we're only tryin' to help you an' we did get you a Discman when you arrived." Jo was upset now and she knew that the boy could hear it. "If you want a computer or a Playstation then I'm sure we can work somethin' out. But I have never thrown money about, an' I am not about to start now. Everythin' that you want you will have to earn, just as Steve earns his wages. Daniel if I bought everythin' I wanted I would soon not have that much left in the bank. An' if you would like to invite some of your friends here, then I would be happy to do them dinner, or Michael would."
"See, see, do them dinner, Michael would do them dinner! Lady, you just don't get it do you? I can't bring them here, I would be right at the front of the line for everybody to kick down, I am living in a rich world, that you won't share, and I can't get back to my poor one because nobody there wants me any more."
"Daniel…" Steve tried to speak but was cut off by the unhappy teenager.
"Yeah, and you can get bent too!" With that Daniel turned and left the room. A few moments later his bedroom door slammed loudly and then his music blared down the stairs, and Steve, knowing that it wouldn't do any good, but needing to say something, turned to Jo and said
"And turn that off."
The argument had seemed to be a one off, they had all spoken about it the following evening, Daniel had apologised for his language and thanked them for the Discman. Jo wondered whether just being able to air his feelings had been enough for him, maybe he was embarrassed about it all, but that hadn't appeared to be the case when they had talked about the argument. Gradually to everyone's relief he had settled into the routine of the household, and they had begun to all enjoy being together.
Alex had spent a few evenings with his young friend, and Daniel had told him how he had been delighted to move out of the home, and although they seemed an odd couple he had grudgingly admitted that he'd found that Michael was a pretty cool guy and he enjoyed his company, at least that's how he explained it to Alex. But tonight he hadn't come in his evening meal.
"Jo, have you seen Daniel? Michael wants to serve dinner." Steve called up the stairs to his wife, who was busy once again in the attic.
"No, Honey, he had an after school club I haven't seen him since this mornin'" Jo had been spending most of her time in the roof of the house. The first suitcase she'd found, the one addressed to her still wasn't open, life had taken over and it had remained in a closet of the main bedroom since the day Jo had found it. But she had decided that tonight they would open it, and see what was inside. Jo also wanted to check on her grandmamma's suite of rooms, and she was hoping that the key would be in the suitcase. She knew that she could have the locks drilled out, but somehow that seemed so wrong to her and she had left the entire upstairs of the east wing locked since she had moved in. Michael didn't have a key, and had no idea where one was, which was a worry. How could it have been locked after her death?
She had been working her way through the enormous amount of things in the top of the house, sorting, cataloguing and throwing things out. Although there were many items she wanted to share with Steve she had decided that until she was finished she would keep it all to herself. Everything had been up there for so long that she'd figured a couple more months or even years wouldn't hurt. But maybe tonight that would change.
With a sigh Jo climbed down the staircase from the attic. If Daniel was needed for dinner then so was she. Five minutes later once she had put a brush through her hair, and washed her hands Jo entered the dining room to find just Steve and Michael in there. "I guess he's not back then. Did you try his cell phone?"
"I did, and it rang in the hallway. What's the point of buying it for him if he keeps leaving it at home? Thank you, Michael." Steve looked at the plate of dinner that had been put in front of him. There was a steaming meat pie with roast potatoes, green beans and carrots. The gravy boat was just in front of him, and once Jo had finished with it he poured liberal amounts of it over his meal.
Jo and Steve had finished their dinner and helped Michael to clear before they heard the door open in the laundry room and knew that Daniel was back. Steve moved out into the hallway so that there was no chance of him slipping upstairs without being seen.
"Hold on a minute, young man,
where have you been? You know what time dinner is served in this house." Steve
stood; his arms folded, determined not to give an inch.
"Well, gee, 'Dad', I guess I'll have to have the butler heat it up for me then won't I?" Daniel stood, in almost the identical position to Steve, even though he was a good eight inches shorter.
"Daniel! That's enough. If you are gonna take that attitude you can go to your room now, and the next meal will be breakfast. I suggest that you make yourself available for that." Steve pointed to the stairs, and without another word Daniel made his way up them. Even if Steve hadn't been able to see the young man he would have known exactly where he was, as his stomping footsteps echoed through the house.
"Steve, you can't send him to bed without his dinner, let me take something up to him." Jo came and stood next to her husband.
"Jo, don't you dare! He has to realise that we have rules in this house, and if he wants to live here he has to abide by them."
"Yes, he does, but the threat of throwin' him out is cruel. If he was our biological son we couldn't do that, an' it shouldn't be any different just because he isn't. An' the hallway isn't the place to discuss this." Jo could feel her fury rising, and had a feeling that they were about to have their first real row.
"No, it isn't, but it is where we are right now, and I did not threaten to throw him out, but he can't treat us like dirt, Jo, and that has to be realised. But no dinner, ok?"
"Steve, what if he comes down an' apologizes?" Jo looked at him and could see the resolve weaken a little.
"If he comes down of his own volition …" The phone began to ring, cutting through Steve's remark.
"Good evening, Sloan residence … Yes, Madam, if you would hold for a moment."
"Lieutenant, Detective Yeager is on the phone." Michael waited and handed the receiver to Steve and then retired to his kitchen.
"Hi, Rae, what …? Oh great, why didn't they call me … Mmm, ok, I'll meet you there then. Rae, can you get a photographer down there …? Oh right, I need him to wait." Steve put the phone down and turned to his wife. "I have to go out, I have no idea when I'll be back, we have another body part."
"Oh, ok. I guess I'll have to deal with this on my own then." Jo shook her head sadly.
"Jo, we knew this could happen, the social workers told us he would rebel against us, test us to the limits, and you knew that I would, more often than not, be away from home when you had to deal with it. I'm sorry." Steve spoke softly and Jo snuggled into his arms, just for a moment before he left her again. Then she looked up and kissed him on the lips and moved away.
"Off you go then, Lieutenant, I'll see you whenever you come home."
"Bye, Sweetheart, and remember, no dinner unless he decides on his own to aologize." With that Steve grabbed his keys from his pocket, and headed out to his truck.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Although Rae had been working full time as a cop for a while, and she had spent most of the first few weeks getting up to speed on the cases Steve was working, as well as, she had to admit, getting used to not being a full time mom. She had missed her children much more than she ever remembered doing in the past, and she'd hoped that it would get better quickly, but now after over six months she still felt the odd pang.
Steve pulled into the gas station that Rae had directed him to, parked his truck and dipped under the tape. He could see Rae standing outside the door to the men's room, a slightly green tinge to her face, as she waited for her partner.
"So what do we have?"
"A partner who got to look in the men's toilet and a small package with a note addressed to you on it."
"Oh great, is Amanda here?" Steve saw Rae nod. "It was getting a little crowded in there, so I figured I'd hang around outside for you. The … ah … photographer has finished, but he's waiting for you."
"Thanks." Steve put his head round the door to see Amanda, and then moved across to where a young man was standing, his camera slung round his neck. Rae stayed back, she had nothing against the photographer, but unless she absolutely had to, she no longer talked to them.
"Lieutenant Sloan? I have all the pictures I can get of … that thing. Why did you want me to stay?"
"Because I want you to take pictures of anybody who is watching. And every time that we get another part and you are called in I need you to do the same. Take pictures of any onlookers." Steve looked round as he spoke, there weren't a lot of people around, but there were four or five watching what was going on.
"Ok, want me to look obvious, or not so obvious?"
"Not so obvious would be good." Steve turned and walked back over to Rae, just as Amanda came out of the small rest room.
"Hi, Steve, sorry I didn't acknowledge you before."
"S'alright, Amanda, and hello to you too. So, what do you have?" Steve couldn't see any large containers ready to go to the lab.
"Well, we know that one of our victims has grey eyes, or one grey eye." Amanda held up a small round pot and inside it they could see an eyeball.
"Oh, this gets worse and worse. Amanda, he must have some knowledge of anatomy to be able to do this mustn't he?" Steve found that he couldn't look away from the container, and had to make a conscious effort not to rub his eyes.
"I would say so, but you can get information on anything off the internet these days, Steve, so it doesn't follow as much as it would have done even five or ten years ago."
"What about the note, Amanda, was there any prints on it?" Rae looked hopefully at her friend, but could tell what her answer was going to be before she spoke.
"I can't tell, not yet. Steve, nothing's been done to it yet so you can't take it out of the bag." Amanda handed it over to him, and watched as he began to read.
Stevie,
Long time no see, and one of my poor house guests can't see either! Oh what a laugh I had, it kept rolling away from me as I tried to put it in the container. I haven't quite decided what to do with the other three.
Well, I have to earn a crust, so there may be a delay before you hear from me again. Mmm, hear, I wonder what you will get next! I still have a few smaller parts to send you.
Till then, my friend
S. Todd.
"Oh, great, I guess I'm gonna get another ear next. Steve resisted the urge to say anything more, and handed the note back to Amanda without another sound. Rae looked over at him, and the concern was evident in her voice.
"Are you ok, Steve?"
"Yeah, I've had a rough evening with Daniel, and now ... I don't understand why he has picked on me like this." Steve found himself running his hands through his hair as he stood there, and suddenly he kicked a stone at his feet. "Dammit, Rae, why me?"
"Because you're a high profile cop, Steve, like it or not. You get the big cases and you get results. You already know what bit he's gonna send you next."
"Yeah, well you're the 'most famous detective in LA' remember, why couldn't he have picked on you?"
"I have been picked on quite enough, thank you. And besides I wasn't there was I?" Rae had stuck her tongue out as he mentioned the famous detective, and then had smiled. "Come on, partner; let's check the scene and then I'll buy you a coffee on the way back, ok?"
"Yeah, thanks, Rae." The two detectives made their way towards the men's room door, and then Rae turned.
"Amanda, is there any way you can tell if that's a male or female eyeball?"
"Oh go on, ask me a hard question instead…? I don't know, Rae, but I'll look into it… Oh, sorry." Amanda smiled as she realised what she had said, "You can tell by DNA, which I can take from the eye, but just by looking at it, no, I doubt it. Sorry." With that she began getting all her things together ready to leave.
The men's room was empty now, and Steve and Rae stood in the doorway looking at the counter next to the basins where the pot had been discovered.
"Who found it, Rae?" Steve realised that he hadn't really asked anything about what had happened.
"It was a guy buying petrol, he came in to use the facilities, and there it was, watching him from the counter… What, what did I say?" Rae wondered why Steve was smiling at her.
"Sometimes, just now and then, you let a word slip, and I remember that you are still British. It's gas, Rae, not petrol."
"I guess I do, you know when I went home for John's wedding, I realised that I don't speak like I used to any more. My two sets of children will sound completely different." With a shake of her head Rae looked again at the counter, and then underneath it. "There's nothing here, Steve, we're wasting our time, and I don't know about you, but I'd like to get this written up and then head for home. We can carry this on in the morning."
The previous six months, while not being solely taken up with the body parts case, had seen it taking roughly second place to their most current cases. The only new female part had been a foot which had been found in a dumpster two streets away from the station by a distraught student who had accidentally thrown her retainer out with her napkin when she stopped at the deli on the corner for a snack on the way to class. Three weeks after that the lower leg of the male had been found on a park bench in North Hollywood Park. Their killer, it seemed, was working close to home, or their home at the precinct.
There had been a break of almost two months after that, and both Rae and Steve had secretly hoped that the body parts would just disappear and they could forget about it for a while. Then there had been three parts in as many weeks, all male; the other lower leg and the first ear. The other part, a lower arm had arrived a little the worse for wear after it had been discovered somewhere by an overexcited Collie and both Rae and Steve had a feeling that a bone from the butchers would never have the same appeal again. In all cases the letters had arrived either just before or at the same time as the next part was discovered. This time though the note had been with the eye, they needed to remember that.
It hadn't taken them long to write their reports, and it was only just after twelve when Steve pulled up outside his home. He made his way in through the laundry room, and it reminded him of the argument he'd had with Daniel before he left. Wondering whether the boy had apologised or not, Steve headed into the kitchen, knowing that there would be a snack waiting there for him.
He picked up the tray and went into the dining room. When he sat down he lifted the metal lid that protected his food and to his surprise found two peanut butter sandwiches, three chocolate chip cookies and as he already knew a glass of milk. With a smile Steve began to eat, and found, once again, that Michael had guessed right. Not guessed, the man never guesses, he knows. The food was just as he remembered eating it as a kid, and Steve found that he was relaxing more with each mouthful.
After finishing his snack Steve put the plate in the sink, the tray back where it belonged, and, because he hadn't finished it yet, he took the glass up the stairs with him. The light was on and shining underneath the door to his room, and so he opened it and went in. Jo was sitting up in bed, with a roll of paper towel beside her and the waste basket just over to her left, all over the floor were little paper balls, and in the basket were even more.
"Jo, Honey, are you all right?" Steve wasn't sure what she was doing, or why, but he could see the fury in her eyes.
"Yes, no … yes, no I'm not, but there is no point in talkin' to you about it, you'll just take her side, an' we'll argue."
"What? Take whose side, Jo, what are you talking about?" Steve sat on the edge of the bed and took his shoes off. Normally he removed them downstairs, but tonight he had forgotten. As he stood up and padded across the room he found himself standing on and kicking at the small balls of white that seemed to be multiplying by the minute.
"I'm talkin' about her. Little Miss Prissy Knickers … David called."
"Oh, ow, Jo!" Realisation dawned on Steve, and at the same time he was struck by a piece of paper.
"Yeah well, she almost caused us to have a row before we got married, an' I don't plan on lettin' her do it after as well."
"So, what did David say?" Steve hoped that he was coming up. He liked his new brother-in-law, and looked forward to getting to know him better.
"He said that he has business in Los Angeles next week, an' so he an' Little Miss Prissy Knickers are gonna come together. As we aren't gettin' married this time, they would like to stay here." Another ball flew across the room, hit one of the closets and ricocheted into the basket.
"Jo, she's a lovely girl, I have no idea why you have such a downer on her, but maybe if she's staying here then you will get the chance to see her as she really is." Steve headed off towards the shower room as he spoke.
"Yeah, or maybe you will." Jo thought for a moment. If she was here under her roof, then perhaps Steve would get a chance to see what a prize bitch the woman really was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was just after nine the following morning when Steve arrived at the station, he saw Tom parked in Rae's normal parking space and smiled. The parking lot had somehow seemed incomplete without her funny little car, but now, except occasionally, like today, he never even though about it. Steve smiled at Alison as he walked past her desk and up the stairs, and then he headed into the squad room. Cheryl was there, he knew that she had pulled a set of nights, and would be finishing soon, and across the room Ben Chapman and Kim Yip were both on the phone. There was activity going on all around him, and for a moment Steve stood and contemplated it all. The room had had a decimated feel to it after Sandra Breth had killed two of its officers, and for a while Steve had wondered whether they would ever recover, but they had. Cheryl was back, so was Rae, George had been given community service and disappeared from sight, and Martin would be back in two days time. With a sigh Steve sat down. He hoped that those men who had died would never be forgotten, but he knew that life had to go on, and in this room, to protect the living and avenge the dead, it was doing just that.
After Steve had got himself a coffee he realised that although Tom was in the parking lot, Rae wasn't in the squad room. He was just about to go and ask Cheryl if she knew where she was when Steve saw her in the Captain's office, and he could tell that it wasn't a friendly meeting. Knowing that he would hear about it all before too long, Steve pulled the phone towards him and put a call through to Amanda.
Rae came out of the Captain's office and walked over to her desk. She kept her eyes down, not wanting to speak or acknowledge anyone. For just over a quarter of an hour she sat there, looking at a blank piece of paper, and then, still without a word, she got up and stalked out of the room. Steve watched her go, and decided that unless he wanted to work alone for the entire shift he had better go and see if she was alright. He saw her go down the stairs, and then round into the part of the precinct that housed the interview rooms and he followed her. When she entered the first empty room Steve watched her sit down and then he tapped lightly on the glass, and without waiting for her to say anything opened the door, closed it behind him, and sat down on the chair next to her.
"Rae, what's the matter?" Steve was shocked to find tears in Rae's eyes, and as he looked at her one escaped and ran down her cheek.
"Nothing, Steve, just leave me alone." Rae tried to get up and move away but Steve put his hand on her arm.
"Oh, no, you don't. Something has upset you, something the Captain said, Rae tell me, let me help."
For a minute Rae just sat there, and Steve watched her quietly as she got herself under control, and then to his relief she turned to him and began to speak. "You remember when that … that weasel Crosier was goading me? About the internet site?"
"Yeah, how could I forget, you pulverised the guy." Steve had smiled, but the look on Rae's face wiped it away.
"I got a warning, and I appealed against it, but I just heard I lost. Steve, it's going on my record." The tears started again now, and this time Rae let them fall.
"Oh, Rae, I'm so sorry, but I have to say, it could have been worse, you could have been suspended, or fired."
"I know, the Captain said that he would have suspended me, but … but I was hardly ever here as it was … and if I ever do anything like it again I'll be out." Rae was still crying, and Steve put his arm around her and pulling her towards him he let her cry for a while on his chest.
"Rae, Honey, I have to say, I don't understand why you are so upset about this." Steve had been suspended a couple of times, and had just taken his punishment, knowing that he had pushed his luck too far.
"Steve, I've been a cop for a long time, and until today there was nothing on my record that wasn't good, and I mean nothing. That was important to me. I was proud of it! But now, because of Neil Crosier I have a warning on there, for violent conduct. If he comes near me again, I swear I won't hold back."
"Rae, no, he isn't worth it, just let it drop. You are too good at what you do to let him get to you like this." Steve moved away and placed a finger under her chin, raising her face so that she was looking at him. "Come on, Detective, I've got real used to you being with me again, don't let him spoil that."
Rae smiled at him and then gently kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you, Steve, and you're right, let's go look at eyeballs."
"I'm always right; it's just that nobody seems to appreciate it." His partner looked at him in disbelief at his statement, and then to his delight stuck her tongue out. With a smile Steve watched Rae as she got up and walked to the door. Her body language was completely different to when she had come in, and feeling much more positive he followed her out.
Author's Note: A couple of people have asked me not to post every day, and so I have decided to put a new chapter up every other day, so this is it until Tuesday. Thank you so much for the reviews they really do mean a lot.
I also want to thank the members of a group I am in at www.fanfic_med/ I have got a lot of really useful advice from there, and I would recommend any fanfic writer to join it.