Group Therapy: Continued
Enter: Logan and Ororo.
~
"Sorry there bub, but we aren't going." Logan said strongly.
"Yes. You are." Professor X said after a slight pause.
"Charles. Wouldn't you rather me stay here and take care of the New Recruits?" Ororo suggested, she really didn't want to go to group therapy.
"No. Hank and I are taking them on a weekend trip to Wisconsin Dells."
"Aren't we like, invited?" Kitty asked, stepping forward.
"No. You aren't. Sorry, I do have a vast fortune, but unfortunately, it isn't vast enough to send all of us on a trip to Wisconsin Dells." Professor Xavier explained gently.
"And what a convenience that is." Logan grumbled darkly.
~
"So! It looks like we have two new members! Can you all introduce yourselves?" Candi asked perkily when the X-Men walked through the door.
"Logan." Logan said gruffly.
"Ooh! I love that name! Such a strong name, like you no doubt." Candi gushed, walking over to Logan.
"Sorry ma'am, but I am Ororo Munroe."
"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Candi asked, slightly peeved that someone had come between her and her precious Logan.
"Yes. I am his girlfriend." Candi instantly backed off. "Well, okay. Unfortunately, Daphne, Egbert and Emma aren't joining us, but we have three other new members! Please. welcome. drum roll please." Jean and Scott did the cheesy over done drum roll on their knees. "Fletcher, Sophie and Samz." Candi gestured to the three new people. Fletcher looked slightly annoyed that he was here, and it was obvious that he would rather be playing video games with Dillon, or grabbing the author's ass. Oh wait, I forgot. He was pathetic and desperate when he did that. He isn't pathetic or desperate anymore. That's exactly why he went after the author's cousin! And after they all cuddled and all that jazz back stage! And did I mention after he kissed the author! And they weren't even dating!
Kat: ASGT. Chill.
Right. Where was I? Oh yeah. Sophie sat there with a pirate hat on, heavy eyeliner, a Pirates of the Caribbean t-shirt and had a bottle of rum in her hand. Actually, it was root beer. And Samz looked.. Different. He had blue and orange polka dotted hair, and one purple eye, and one pink eye. No, not the disease, the color. Right.
"So. How about we begin by telling something special about ourselves?" Candi suggested, sitting down in a chair and hugging her pink bunny tightly as if she were afraid of the people in the room with her. If she wasn't. she should be. "I'll start. I'm Candi, and I have the annoying quality to be cheerful! High-five!" Candi jumped up and started high-fiving everyone who's hands were outstretched. I.E. Jean and Scott.
"I am Jean, and I have the best boyfriend ever!" Jean leaned over and hugged Scott.
"I'm Scott, and I have the best girlfriend ever!" Scott leaned over and hugged Jean.
"I'm Rogue, and Ah have the strangest urge to barf right about now." Rogue said grumpily.
"That's not nice! Say something better!" Candi shrieked, dancing to invisible music that only she could hear.
"Ah have. a blue fuzzy brother." She mumbled.
"Ooh! An imaginary friend! I have one! His name is Spamwakka! He is my bestest buddy ever! I loooooove him!" Samz cried, clapping his feet together to the invisible music that only he and Candi could hear.
"I'm Kitty, and I have the best cooking!"
"I'm Kurt and my mother was pushed off a clif. By I HER! /I" Kurt pointed an accusing finger at Rogue.
"Woah! Chill out! You guys. I think it's time for conflict resolution! My favorite thing! But first. we must finish this! Go!" Candi said, gesturing for Logan to go.
"I'm Logan, and I have the most kick-ass Harley ever."
"Language," Candi warned, but instantly shut up and began mumbling incoherent things about her and Logan when he looked at her.
"I am Ororo, and I have the best plants."
"I am Samz, and I have the bestest imaginary friend!"
"I am Sophie and I am the most fearsome pirate to ever sail the seven seas! Savvy?" Sophie looked around the room, daring anyone to contradict her. No one did.
"And I am Fletcher, and I have the best ability to drop my pants on stage during rehearsal, but not during the performance like everyone wants me to!" Yes, Fletcher did and should have done this. Why is it that we have ongoing jokes about pants anyway?
Suddenly, Sophie jumped up. "He lacks respect! Shoot off his cap!" She then raised her (wooden) sword and began jabbing at Fletcher's invisible hat.
"No, sorray, but he lacks pants. Shoot off his cap." Rogue contradicted, pointing at Fletchers grey boxers.
"Meep!" Fletcher tried to waddle off like a penguin, but he tripped and was caught by Sophie.
"You will remember this day as the day you almost got away from Captain Sophie Sparrow!" She said, posing her sword at Flether's head.
"Sophie. do you like, know Emma?" Kitty asked, looking at the sight in front of her.
"Yep. She is me matey. Savvy?"
"Yeah." Kitty mumbled.
"Right. Conflict resolution time! Okay. Let's set up court!" Candi cried clapping her hands. A few minutes later, the room resembled a make-shift courtroom.
((Note: What fallows is competley random and kinda lacks plot. But what else can you expect from me?))
A chair was set on top of a table, with a chair on the floor next to it. In front of it where two tables, with two chairs each, and a bunch of chairs set to the site to be the jury. There weren't enough people to be the audience or witnesses. so we're just gonna call random people from the jury like you're not supposed ta. Okay. moving on.. Candi sat on the chair on the table drapped in a pink sheet, Samz was standing alert near. He was the balif. Rogue sat in one of the two chairs at one of the two tables, with Logan next to her. And at the other table sat Kurt and Sophie. Everyone else was sitting in the jury seats.
"Okay! I'm Judge Candi! Logan. you may begin by calling a witness to the stand."
"I call. Ororo to the stand!" Ororo walked up to the witness truth.
"Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us all?" Samz asked, holing up a comic book (Spiderman) for Ororo to swear on.
"I do."
"All right, Ororo, where were you on the night of Febuary 30th 2001?"
"There is no Febuary 30th." Ororo said patiently, looking at Logan strangely. He was unusually cheerful.
"Right you are! No further questions." Logan sat down.
"Nice goin' there. Whay aren't you doin' a betta job o' defendin' meh?" Rogue asked, hitting Logan slightly on the forearm.
"Because.. Whenever I am near you. I can't help it. I just get this feeling."
"This! Sexuall feeling! Feeling fine!" A girl with her blonde hair in pigtails sang, running into the room. "Sorry to bug you all, but Sophie, I was sent here to join you! What's going on?" She asked, bobbing her head from side to side
"Brittany! Okay, we're in the middle of a court case, to settle a rivalry between Rogue and Kurt. Savvy?" Sophie explained to Brittany.
"Ooh! Court case? I'm helping you! So call Kitty to the stand! She has evidence!"
"All right! I call Kitty to the stand!" Kitty walked up to the stand and butted Ororo out.
"Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us all?" Samz asked.
"And then some." Brittany muttered.
"I do." Kitty said.
"It has been brought to my attention, that you have some evidence against the accused Rogue?" Sophie asked.
"Now ladies and gentlemen. a tap dance." Brittany said in an announcer voice.
"Brittany. now is not the time for your obsessions. Even I have managed to put mine on hold. Savvy?" Sophie scolded.
"But you like, said 'savvy' and all that jazz."
"Brittany!"
((Note: the fallowing is a slight adaptation from Chicago. I needed to borrow it for humorous purposes. Sorry. don't kill me. please!))
"Miss Pryde, would you please tell the court the object l'm holding is the one
you have come upon in the defendants room?" Brittany asked, holding up a black diary.
"Yes, it is." Kitty replied.
"I submit this as an appendix. Rogue's diary!" Brittany said triumphantly.
" I object! My client never kept a diary. Even if she did, this would be
invasion of privacy and violation of fourth amendment and illegal search
without a warrant" Logan said, getting up off the floor.
"Yeah! And she broke tha lock!" Rogue roared.
"Order! Well, that settles that. I'll allow it." Candi said perkily.
"What's the big deal? She's the one that did it!" Rogue said, referring to Kitty.
"Would you read for us, Miss. Pryde?" Brittany asked.
"I haven't worked in a while. But like, okay!" Kitty said happily
"What are you talkin' about? You've never worked!" Rogue shot.
" 'What a laugh, plucking Mystique. The big baboon had a common. I'm just sorry I only got to kill her once.'" Kitty said, reading Rogue's diary.
"Ah never wrote that!" Rogue said, standing up, turning the table over, and grabbing the book from Kitty's hands. She then tore it into shreds and sprinkled it over Brittany's head.
"You were too early on the 'tapdance' line." Rogue said to Brittany before leaving the room.
"Oh well. I'm going to sing. Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bread and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting ?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will grow vociferous
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?
Roar, roar, roar.
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel,
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more!" Brittany finished with a stance and jazz hands.
"Noo! Rogue! My love!" Logan called, throwing on his hat and chasing her out the hall.
"I am never coming back here." Ororo muttered.
~
Okay. I forgot a few things. Last chapter: The Lars monologue was written by William Gleason. I borrowed it. I also borrowed the 'He lacks respect, shoot off his cap' line from the guy who wrote The Mouse that Roared. I already borrowed the Chicago jazz from Chicago. I had to do that. because. you see. Brittany was obsessed with Chicago.
~ASGT
Enter: Logan and Ororo.
~
"Sorry there bub, but we aren't going." Logan said strongly.
"Yes. You are." Professor X said after a slight pause.
"Charles. Wouldn't you rather me stay here and take care of the New Recruits?" Ororo suggested, she really didn't want to go to group therapy.
"No. Hank and I are taking them on a weekend trip to Wisconsin Dells."
"Aren't we like, invited?" Kitty asked, stepping forward.
"No. You aren't. Sorry, I do have a vast fortune, but unfortunately, it isn't vast enough to send all of us on a trip to Wisconsin Dells." Professor Xavier explained gently.
"And what a convenience that is." Logan grumbled darkly.
~
"So! It looks like we have two new members! Can you all introduce yourselves?" Candi asked perkily when the X-Men walked through the door.
"Logan." Logan said gruffly.
"Ooh! I love that name! Such a strong name, like you no doubt." Candi gushed, walking over to Logan.
"Sorry ma'am, but I am Ororo Munroe."
"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Candi asked, slightly peeved that someone had come between her and her precious Logan.
"Yes. I am his girlfriend." Candi instantly backed off. "Well, okay. Unfortunately, Daphne, Egbert and Emma aren't joining us, but we have three other new members! Please. welcome. drum roll please." Jean and Scott did the cheesy over done drum roll on their knees. "Fletcher, Sophie and Samz." Candi gestured to the three new people. Fletcher looked slightly annoyed that he was here, and it was obvious that he would rather be playing video games with Dillon, or grabbing the author's ass. Oh wait, I forgot. He was pathetic and desperate when he did that. He isn't pathetic or desperate anymore. That's exactly why he went after the author's cousin! And after they all cuddled and all that jazz back stage! And did I mention after he kissed the author! And they weren't even dating!
Kat: ASGT. Chill.
Right. Where was I? Oh yeah. Sophie sat there with a pirate hat on, heavy eyeliner, a Pirates of the Caribbean t-shirt and had a bottle of rum in her hand. Actually, it was root beer. And Samz looked.. Different. He had blue and orange polka dotted hair, and one purple eye, and one pink eye. No, not the disease, the color. Right.
"So. How about we begin by telling something special about ourselves?" Candi suggested, sitting down in a chair and hugging her pink bunny tightly as if she were afraid of the people in the room with her. If she wasn't. she should be. "I'll start. I'm Candi, and I have the annoying quality to be cheerful! High-five!" Candi jumped up and started high-fiving everyone who's hands were outstretched. I.E. Jean and Scott.
"I am Jean, and I have the best boyfriend ever!" Jean leaned over and hugged Scott.
"I'm Scott, and I have the best girlfriend ever!" Scott leaned over and hugged Jean.
"I'm Rogue, and Ah have the strangest urge to barf right about now." Rogue said grumpily.
"That's not nice! Say something better!" Candi shrieked, dancing to invisible music that only she could hear.
"Ah have. a blue fuzzy brother." She mumbled.
"Ooh! An imaginary friend! I have one! His name is Spamwakka! He is my bestest buddy ever! I loooooove him!" Samz cried, clapping his feet together to the invisible music that only he and Candi could hear.
"I'm Kitty, and I have the best cooking!"
"I'm Kurt and my mother was pushed off a clif. By I HER! /I" Kurt pointed an accusing finger at Rogue.
"Woah! Chill out! You guys. I think it's time for conflict resolution! My favorite thing! But first. we must finish this! Go!" Candi said, gesturing for Logan to go.
"I'm Logan, and I have the most kick-ass Harley ever."
"Language," Candi warned, but instantly shut up and began mumbling incoherent things about her and Logan when he looked at her.
"I am Ororo, and I have the best plants."
"I am Samz, and I have the bestest imaginary friend!"
"I am Sophie and I am the most fearsome pirate to ever sail the seven seas! Savvy?" Sophie looked around the room, daring anyone to contradict her. No one did.
"And I am Fletcher, and I have the best ability to drop my pants on stage during rehearsal, but not during the performance like everyone wants me to!" Yes, Fletcher did and should have done this. Why is it that we have ongoing jokes about pants anyway?
Suddenly, Sophie jumped up. "He lacks respect! Shoot off his cap!" She then raised her (wooden) sword and began jabbing at Fletcher's invisible hat.
"No, sorray, but he lacks pants. Shoot off his cap." Rogue contradicted, pointing at Fletchers grey boxers.
"Meep!" Fletcher tried to waddle off like a penguin, but he tripped and was caught by Sophie.
"You will remember this day as the day you almost got away from Captain Sophie Sparrow!" She said, posing her sword at Flether's head.
"Sophie. do you like, know Emma?" Kitty asked, looking at the sight in front of her.
"Yep. She is me matey. Savvy?"
"Yeah." Kitty mumbled.
"Right. Conflict resolution time! Okay. Let's set up court!" Candi cried clapping her hands. A few minutes later, the room resembled a make-shift courtroom.
((Note: What fallows is competley random and kinda lacks plot. But what else can you expect from me?))
A chair was set on top of a table, with a chair on the floor next to it. In front of it where two tables, with two chairs each, and a bunch of chairs set to the site to be the jury. There weren't enough people to be the audience or witnesses. so we're just gonna call random people from the jury like you're not supposed ta. Okay. moving on.. Candi sat on the chair on the table drapped in a pink sheet, Samz was standing alert near. He was the balif. Rogue sat in one of the two chairs at one of the two tables, with Logan next to her. And at the other table sat Kurt and Sophie. Everyone else was sitting in the jury seats.
"Okay! I'm Judge Candi! Logan. you may begin by calling a witness to the stand."
"I call. Ororo to the stand!" Ororo walked up to the witness truth.
"Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us all?" Samz asked, holing up a comic book (Spiderman) for Ororo to swear on.
"I do."
"All right, Ororo, where were you on the night of Febuary 30th 2001?"
"There is no Febuary 30th." Ororo said patiently, looking at Logan strangely. He was unusually cheerful.
"Right you are! No further questions." Logan sat down.
"Nice goin' there. Whay aren't you doin' a betta job o' defendin' meh?" Rogue asked, hitting Logan slightly on the forearm.
"Because.. Whenever I am near you. I can't help it. I just get this feeling."
"This! Sexuall feeling! Feeling fine!" A girl with her blonde hair in pigtails sang, running into the room. "Sorry to bug you all, but Sophie, I was sent here to join you! What's going on?" She asked, bobbing her head from side to side
"Brittany! Okay, we're in the middle of a court case, to settle a rivalry between Rogue and Kurt. Savvy?" Sophie explained to Brittany.
"Ooh! Court case? I'm helping you! So call Kitty to the stand! She has evidence!"
"All right! I call Kitty to the stand!" Kitty walked up to the stand and butted Ororo out.
"Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us all?" Samz asked.
"And then some." Brittany muttered.
"I do." Kitty said.
"It has been brought to my attention, that you have some evidence against the accused Rogue?" Sophie asked.
"Now ladies and gentlemen. a tap dance." Brittany said in an announcer voice.
"Brittany. now is not the time for your obsessions. Even I have managed to put mine on hold. Savvy?" Sophie scolded.
"But you like, said 'savvy' and all that jazz."
"Brittany!"
((Note: the fallowing is a slight adaptation from Chicago. I needed to borrow it for humorous purposes. Sorry. don't kill me. please!))
"Miss Pryde, would you please tell the court the object l'm holding is the one
you have come upon in the defendants room?" Brittany asked, holding up a black diary.
"Yes, it is." Kitty replied.
"I submit this as an appendix. Rogue's diary!" Brittany said triumphantly.
" I object! My client never kept a diary. Even if she did, this would be
invasion of privacy and violation of fourth amendment and illegal search
without a warrant" Logan said, getting up off the floor.
"Yeah! And she broke tha lock!" Rogue roared.
"Order! Well, that settles that. I'll allow it." Candi said perkily.
"What's the big deal? She's the one that did it!" Rogue said, referring to Kitty.
"Would you read for us, Miss. Pryde?" Brittany asked.
"I haven't worked in a while. But like, okay!" Kitty said happily
"What are you talkin' about? You've never worked!" Rogue shot.
" 'What a laugh, plucking Mystique. The big baboon had a common. I'm just sorry I only got to kill her once.'" Kitty said, reading Rogue's diary.
"Ah never wrote that!" Rogue said, standing up, turning the table over, and grabbing the book from Kitty's hands. She then tore it into shreds and sprinkled it over Brittany's head.
"You were too early on the 'tapdance' line." Rogue said to Brittany before leaving the room.
"Oh well. I'm going to sing. Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bread and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting ?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will grow vociferous
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?
Roar, roar, roar.
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel,
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more!" Brittany finished with a stance and jazz hands.
"Noo! Rogue! My love!" Logan called, throwing on his hat and chasing her out the hall.
"I am never coming back here." Ororo muttered.
~
Okay. I forgot a few things. Last chapter: The Lars monologue was written by William Gleason. I borrowed it. I also borrowed the 'He lacks respect, shoot off his cap' line from the guy who wrote The Mouse that Roared. I already borrowed the Chicago jazz from Chicago. I had to do that. because. you see. Brittany was obsessed with Chicago.
~ASGT