Raison D'être | Chapter 4
A LXG Fanfiction by Majokai Yukiko
Pairing: Dorian + Tom
Warning: Slash. Angst
Timeline: Post-movie cannon.
This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of Alan Moore, Kevin O'Neil, the filmmakers and their associates.
A/N: This chapter is what I call a transition chapter. It's one of those things you write when you have a burning desire to write smut but you can't just have your characters going 'wham, bam, thank you very much'. You get what I mean…*smirks*
Smut coming up in the next and final chapter.
Many thanks to Vaish for providing that bit of information on Kali, you know I'm just too lazy to research on it myself, and what's better than listening to a local talk about it?
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Tom woke up and found out that he had slept better than he did in days. Surprising even to himself, he had decided to take up Dorian's advice after all. His portrait was turned to face the wall instead of his bed. The paint might be wet, but it should not dirty the white washed walls. Or at least, Tom sincerely hoped so, because he really could not care less.
He had also looked up both Mina and Jekyll for help regarding his insomnia. He was glad he had approached Jekyll too, or else he would have downed that animal tranquilizers Mina so cheekily prescribed. Granted, Tom had requested for something strong enough to knock him out dreamless, but he had definitely not expected a side effect like impotency to be part of the package.
His appetite had not gotten any better though. In replace of sleep, Tom now had to suffer a strange grueling ache in his chest, as if somebody had wrapped his fingers around his heart and squeezed, very tightly. For the first time since he became an agent, he missed home. He wished to have back the carefree days playing along the Mississippi with his best friend, Huck.
There was a void in his heart that could only be filled by a special someone, and Tom just realized that.
Dorian's last words to him had been resurfacing in his mind over and over again. What did the immortal mean when he said he had been kind to Tom?
***
Tom watched Mina storm down the corridors in amusement. She was muttering something unprintable under her breath, something directed at, to quote her, "an invisible man stupid enough to get himself a sunburn and make her life generally more busy and miserable". Tom glanced worriedly at the Aloe Vera cream in her hands and shook his head.
Skinner had better prayed she had not put that little 'extra' into the lotion to make it 'extraordinary'. Normalcy was bliss.
Tom smiled to himself and turned at the corner, stopping in his steps when he noticed what was at the end of it.
Captain Nemo was there on his knees before a dark bronze statue of a Hindu goddess with a thousand heads and a thousand pairs of arms, and a necklace of skulls around her neck. The American could not help but shudder. His dead mentor had once mentioned to him something about the captain worshipping death. Could they really trust the captain of that vessel they were on?
As if reading his thought, Nemo turned around to fix him with his beetle-black eyes. Tom flushed nervously.
"Er…sorry, captain. I'll be off on my way."
"Wait!" Nemo closed the doors to the divine sanctuary and hurried forward. "Did I scare you?"
"Yes! I mean, no!" Tom stammered, paused for a moment and quickly asked the question he had been dying to ask. "Why do you worship death?"
"Death?" The Indian blinked, utterly confused and then glanced back at the closed doors with a laugh. "You mean the goddess Kali. She's not Death. She is the female counterpart of Shiva."
"Who is?" Tom narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
Nemo seemed to think about that question very slowly and very carefully, wondering what would be the best way to go about answering Tom's question. Finally, he sighed.
"There are many ways to look at Kali. But as to what she really symbolizes…you can call it a woman's wrath.
Tom nodded thoughtfully. A woman's wrath indeed, he mentally commented. One good example of it would be Mina. The vampire was positively terrifying when she was angry. There were times when a woman should be left alone in her fury, or one would have to pay dearly for it.
Dorian Gray had paid for it when his life.
"Do you believe in spirits and afterlife, captain?"
"You mean ghosts, don't you?" Tom nodded again.
"I do. We have all seen too much of the supernatural not to. But you know what I think?" Nemo paused for a moment. "I think a man can never rest in peace with unfulfilled wishes. He will be doomed to haunt this land, unable to reborn."
"And so he will just…exist?"
"Yes."
***
Tom Sawyer went back into his room, feeling more miserable than he had ever been. He could not help but dwell further on Nemo's words. How horrid it must be, to be unable of reaching Heaven or Hell, condemn to only a mere existence?
Every breath he took, every skip of his heart had hurt indescribably. Was that what Dorian was experiencing? To think he had turned him away just like that…
Tom glanced up at the back of the framed canvas; his vision blurring as hot scalding liquid flowed from behind his eyes and along his cheeks. His tongue darted out to taste it. It was salty. He was crying, giving tears to the man he had once thought deserving of whatever misfortune fate dished out at him.
Staggering, he made his way to the wall and flipped the painting right side up, forcing himself to stare into the dark brown eyes of the immortal. The eyes that were so expressive when Dorian told him to leave…Tom could have wept for them. He had not wept then, but he was certainly crying now. Was it too late?
Why had Dorian told him to go? Was his presence so much more detestable than lone eternity?
"I had been uncharacteristically kind to you, but don't expect any encore performance."
Tom gasped. Perhaps, just maybe…
The agent grabbed the bottle of sleeping potion Jekyll had prepared for him and walked to the window with slow deliberate steps. With a sudden burst of energy, he flung it out of the window.
Tom watched it float and finally drowned in those watery depths.
Bedtime.
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End of Chapter 4
Continue to Chapter 5