CHAPTER SEVEN: HANK
A week and Paige's condition, though stable, was not reversing. Hank made the decision to move her to the Mansion's better-equipped MedLab. They took her in one of the Blackbirds in the middle of the night to avoid contact with the more normal students attending the school.
The X-Men not on mission were waiting when the team arrived. Jubilee immediately noticed Wolvie was gone. Most of the X-Men who had been on the team in her days were gone now. Few of the faces looked familiar… or friendly.
Paige was quickly moved inside, with all following. Jubilee hung back, not wanting people to start asking her questions. Someone always did. As soon as no one was looking she slipped around the house, heading for the lake.
She sat down on the edge of the rough wooden dock. Across the sky brightening violets spilled over the violent reds of the rising sun. Faint traces of orange outlined pale wispy clouds. Slowly the reds faded violet then blues as the glowing sun crept over the horizon.
Jubilee had been watching tiny wavelets lap against her legs for over an hour when a pair of hairier blue legs joined hers in the sun spotted water. She looked at Hank in surprise. "Hello, Jubilation."
She gave him a weak smile, "So, whatcha' up to, Hankster?" She paused for a second. "Shouldn't you be with Paige right now?"
Hank looked at Jubilee for a moment, considering his words. He chose to ignore her second question. "I've been watching you, Jubilation. I heard you speak to Paige the other day." He paused, "Would you talk to me?" Hank wiggled his eyebrows in his best confidential-I'm-a-big-blue-teddy-bear-you-just-have-to-love-and-hug-on look.
Jubilee gave him a watery giggle, then burst into tears. Hank gently gathered her up in his arms, rocking Jubilee 'til she quieted down.
"I'm surprised Emma hasn't said something about this." Hank watch as Jubilee gathered herself, pulling a bit back inside of herself.
"She has tried, but I'm an expert at avoided people I don't wanna talk to. Anyway she's so concerned about Paige and the rest of the team that she don't noticed me half the time."
Hank nodded, "So what exactly are you avoiding?"
Jubilee sat there silent for a moment. "I don't think I belong on the team anymore. I already hurt Paige, and I'm afraid I might cause someone to die next time. I'm no good, I can't even sleep anymore, the nightmares are so bad." With each statement Jubilee seemed to curl more into herself, and away from Hank, afraid she had said too much. But the words wouldn't stop. "Sometimes I look at my friends and I see how much they need me to be there, but I can't be. What good am I to them, I can't even get myself straighten out. Sometimes I dream that I'm all alone because I failed a mission and everyone died."
She paused as a hiccuppy sob worked past the choked words. "If I can't save myself, how can I save anyone else?"
With a deep sigh Hank slipped an arm across her back and gently hugged her. "Nightmares." Hank trailed off. "We all have nightmares. I guess its part of being a super-hero. Maybe its part of living any kind of life."
Jubilee remained silent.
"I have nightmares too."