ASN: This chapter's a little late due to circumstances beyond my control. I was out of town.
AN: Yeah, and they don't have computers at Renaissance festivals.
ASN: Not quite the right time period. Anyway, here's the next chapter...
CHAPTER 6: CAUTION: HACKER AT
WORK
Operations Booth, Haven
Artemis walked up to the large double doors that signaled the entrance to the Operations Booth. They were large and forbidding, boding no trespassers. They were also firmly locked.
"All right," he said, sitting in front of the lock. It was digital, with a slew of access codes and buttons. Artemis carefully began examining the lock. It was time for a human to break into the Operations Booth; the one event Foaly had intended the lock to prevent.
Butler stood in a corner and observed his charge at work. Holly watched passively. She wished Root was here to exchange nasty Mud Men comments with, but he was outside the LEP building, shooing away all curious spectators. If word got out that a human, two humans, were in the Lower Elements, in the LEP building, a riot would be the least of their problems. Mass hysteria would flood the entire city.
Artemis quickly pulled the coverplate off the lock and opened the bag he'd brought, pulling out his laptop. Using a wire from inside the lock, he connected his laptop to Foaly's network. Instantly a screen came up, asking for his password. Artemis set three different decoding programs to the puzzle, one in English, the other two in Gnommish. He prayed Foaly hadn't done any of the passwords in obscure languages, like Atlantian. He'd never get through.
"Do you need me to do anything?" Holly asked the Mud Boy, who was intent on the screen. Artemis looked up for a second.
"Well, do you have any idea what sort of booby-traps Foaly would have in here? I really don't want to be electrocuted."
"Shame," Holly quipped, patting her buzz baton, "I could provide if you did." The look Artemis gave her told her he was not amused.
"Well, I know he has a plasma floor." she said. Artemis looked at her.
"And...this would be?" he prompted. Holly smiled.
"What, the mighty Artemis Fowl doesn't know?" she taunted.
"Sorry, I hadn't hacked into that section of Foaly's network yet." he fired back.
"Children, children..." Butler sighed, walking up. "Let's try working together for a change, hmm?"
"Tried that. Didn't work." Holly snapped. Suddenly, the door slid open.
"Success." Artemis said, looking unsurprised. He unobtrusively pushed the SAVE command on his computer, downloading the passwords into his hard drive.
"Foaly won't like that." Butler whispered into his charge's ear.
"What Foaly doesn't know won't hurt him. Or me." Artemis responded. Artemis stood and moved to Holly, who was at the door, staring into the shadowy confines of the Operations Booth.
"After you!" they both said at the same time. Butler couldn't help a slight snicker, and the two turned to glare at him. He stopped immediately, pasting his usual impassive look on his face. Artemis turned back first. He picked up a spool of wire from his hacker bag and tossed it gently onto the floor. Immediately sparks flew where the spool bounced. A laser arced across the room, and Holly and Artemis covered their eyes. When they looked, the spool had been melted it into slag. Holly looked pale.
"Well, now what do we do?" she asked. Artemis frowned, and returned to his laptop, totally ignoring the open door.
"Uh, hello, Mud Boy?" Holly asked incredulously, looking at the human typing away furiously. "What are you doing?"
"Working on my complete and detailed plan for world domination, of course. I'm all the way to Volume 12." he said distractedly, continuing to type. Holly's eyes narrowed. Artemis finished, then moved back to the door. He leaned forward, carefully avoiding all contact with the Booth floor, and hit the light switch. The lights obediently came on. Then Artemis flicked them back off, then on again.
"Yes, we've ascertained that the lights work." Holly snapped. Artemis ignored her and tossed another spool onto the floor. Sparks flew as the spool bounced, but no laser melted it. Holly looked puzzled.
"Flipping the lights turns off the laser?" she asked incredulously. Artemis nodded, with a superior air.
"Yes. I'm sure they are voice activated, but there has to be a manual turn-off switch. The only place that could be would be by the door, otherwise Foaly'd be fried when he tried to get in to turn it off. Besides, that's what I would do." Holly frowned.
"If you knew, why did you have to mess with your laptop?"
"Oh, I had an idea on how to disrupt the satellite communications for whenever I move to annex the Pacific Islands. You have to write these things down right away, otherwise you forget them." he said airily. It was all Holly could do to keep herself from shoving her buzz baton down the human's throat.
"All right, any ideas for the floor?" she asked, straining to keep her voice civil. It didn't work. Artemis nodded, and held up a hydrosion shell.
"Where did you get that?" Holly asked.
"From your belt."
"What?" she demanded, confused. Her hand strayed to her belt, which was, sure enough, missing a fizzer. Her eyes shot back to Artemis, who was calmly prying off the lid.
"How did you get that?!" she shouted, making no effort to be quiet. Artemis ignored her. She shot a look at Butler, who shrugged innocently.
"He asked for lessons." he said simply. Holly turned back to the teen, gritting her teeth, just as he tossed the fizzer onto the plasma floor.
Sparks erupted in showers, and a hissing noise filled the empty LEP building.
"What do you think you're doing?" Holly bellowed as the steam cleared. Artemis didn't answer, but turned and walked into the Operations Booth. Nothing happened.
"Coming?" he threw back over his shoulder to the livid elf. She growled low in her throat, but followed.
"How permanent is this little solution of yours?" she asked snidely.
"Foaly will have to fix the short-circuit when he comes back. I couldn't waste any more time to turn the floor off." he answered, making a beeline for Foaly's massive computer.
"So what amazing trick are you going to pull out of your sleeve for this?" Holly asked sarcastically.
"No tricks. We're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way." He plugged his laptop into Foaly's immense computer and booted it up. Once set up, he again put the decryption program to work. After 10 seconds, his virus detection program popped up.
"Great." he muttered. Holly turned at his tone.
"What?"
"There's a virus being sent to my computer. Foaly booby-trapped it." he frowned. "I'm going to have shut down the laptop and try again."
He did so, and was again rewarded with a virus.
"Joy. We're going to have to do this the really old-fashioned way. Any clue what his password could be?" he asked Holly. She shrugged.
"I don't know how his mind works; neither does anybody else." She paused, then smiled. "I doubt he does."
"Okay." Artemis typed in 'Foaly.' A beep was his answer. Password incorrect. He typed in 'centaur.' Password incorrect.
"I need ideas." he said shortly. Holly sat down.
"All right, try..."
Fowl Manor
Angeline walked into Artemis's room. She had spent all morning doing light dusting, for lack of anything else to do. She couldn't settle down with everyone gone. She even missed Juliet. And Angeline hated wrestling.
She paused by his desk. Something seemed off.
"If he's going spelunking, why did he take his laptop?" she mused aloud.
California Technology Labs, "Guest Suite"
Foaly sat sulking in his black room. He had perfected the look over the centuries. If he glared any harder, maybe he could make the walls fall down.
A crack of light appeared in one wall. "Hey, I did it!" he exclaimed, feeling proud and a little surprised. Then Rand sauntered into the cell.
"Oh, it's you." Foaly said, making a conscious effort to sound bored. And unsurprised.
"My, my, Foaly, such enthusiasm." Rand leaned against the wall. His voice lost all traces of mirth and became deadly serious. "We need to talk. Heart to heart, man to..." he paused, "whatever."
"About what?" the centaur asked warily. "Unless you're going to set me free, I'm not interested."
"I can set you free."
Foaly eyed him. "Keep talking."
"I know Opal showed you the mindwipe machine. Frankly, I'd prefer not to use it on you. Waste...disgusts me."
"Yeah, the very idea disgusts me too." Foaly said sarcastically. Rand leaned in close to him.
"In that case, I have a proposition for you. Think about it, Foaly. You and me, together. Whatever those... People are paying you, I'll double it. Triple it. We can be partners. Just us two."
"What about Opal?" Foaly asked.
"What about her?" Rand continued. "With our brains, together, and my resources and contacts, we could rule the technological world."
Foaly looked him up and down dispassionately. "I already do." he said simply, stating a fact. Rand sighed deeply and stood.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Foaly. We could have made millions. Been famous."
"Rich, famous centaurs don't go over too well in the human world."
Rand headed for the door. "Shame," he said, looking over his shoulder, "you seemed to have such potential."
"Funny. I could have said the same thing about you." Foaly smiled.
The door shut, leaving Foaly in darkness. Again.
ASN: I'll put up the next chapter soon. Really.