Closing Time
Chapter 3
PG-13
Same old song…they're not mine. I'm just borrowing them!
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Eddie stood guard outside the door. Even though the doctors weren't holding out much hope and the DNR was signed, the commander had ordered a round-the-clock guard. He looked quickly into the room and found that Jordan hadn't moved. She was still sitting there, staring at the still form on the bed, willing him to breathe. He saw her lips moving, and it occurred to him that he could probably hear what she was saying if he tried. But he didn't. She needed privacy right then.
In the room, Jordan sat by the bed, still desperately praying that she would wake up and find that this was all a nightmare. It couldn't be happening! It just couldn't.
"Come on, breathe. That's right." Over and over again.
She was aware of Eddie's presence as he stood guard just outside the door. Any uniform could have taken the job, but she was glad he offered. Somehow his presence was comforting. She turned and saw the back of his head through the window. Maybe she should invite him to come in. After all. . .
But no, she knew him better than that. He'd taken this post and would not jeopardize anyone's life by leaving the door unguarded, even for a moment. She turned back to the bed, and picked up the motionless hand, clasping it in her own. Tears flowed, unbidden and unstopped down her cheeks. Her voice cracked as she spoke.
"Come on. Open your eyes. Please? You can't leave me now. I know things haven't been great lately, but. . . I need you. Maybe I don't say it enough, but I need you. I love you so much ~ more than anything else in the world. More than anyone else. . . Please don't leave me. Oh, why am I even bothering? Can you even hear me? I just wish that there was some way I could know that you're hearing me. That you understand. . ."
Her voice broke as she felt his hand close around hers. Funny, she'd stopped thinking of her hands as small a while back. But now that they both were clasped in one of his. . .
"I love you," she whispered. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If you need to go. . . I'll be ok. I don't want to keep you here if. . . I'm a big girl. It's ok. I love you. You can let go."
His hand tightened even more for a moment, then went limp as the line on the machine went flat. She didn't even hear the solid tone as she buried her face in his chest and cried tears for him, for her, for everything.
Outside the door, Eddie jumped as he heard the solid tone. He turned and looked in the room, deciding not to do anything just then. The doctors would descend on the room soon enough. Jordan needed a minute. He'd stall them as long as he could.
Down the hall in the waiting area, the others sat, hoping against hope that things would turn out alright. Nigel was the first one to sense a change in the atmosphere, though he couldn't say later if he'd seen Eddie jump or not. He put out a hand to still Lily's hands, which were nervously flipping a magazine. Slowly, they all turned their eyes towards the door where Eddie stood.
Sensing their eyes on him, Eddie turned his head, and meeting Nigel's eyes, nodded slowly. The group huddled in a tight hug, and they were only vaguely aware of the medical team rushing past them to the room. Eddie stepped aside and let them in, but remained in the hall. Part of him longed to join the group in the waiting area, but another part knew he needed to stay where he was. Jordan was going to need someone who understood everything. . .
One by one, the doctors left the room, their faces confirming what everyone already knew. He was gone. The door closed and stayed that way for a few minutes. No one moved to enter the room. Jordan needed some time to say good-bye. While they'd all known him, this was going to be harder on her than any of them.
After about five minutes, Eddie sensed the door open and turned. Jordan looked at him and let herself fall into his arms, sobs racking her body. They stayed that way for what seemed like forever. Eddie stroked her hair, letting her cry. When her sobs had slowed somewhat, she pulled back and tried to smile.
"Thanks, Eddie."
"For what?"
"For everything. He. . . He'd be happy that you're here."
"Jordan, it's not a problem. I don't want to rush you, but. . ."
"Yeah, let's go. . ." With a last look into the room, she let Eddie lead her to the group, who instantly pulled her into a hug, which, for once, she didn't resist.
"Come on. There's some place we have to go." Jordan looked at Eddie, who knew exactly what she meant. The small group moved towards the elevator, then to the parking garage.
In a scene not unlike the one that would play out in a few days after the service, the cars slowly wound their way through Boston's streets until they pulled up outside the darkened building that had seen so many good times for all of them.
. . .to be continued. . .