The next morning, Erik woke up feeling decidedly different. He felt
younger, lighter somehow and almost sprang out of bed with a sprightly
leap.
He was even more disturbed to find that he whistled as he shaved and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. For Erik, being happy was a bad sign. The feeling was so unfamiliar to him that he suspected a fever for a while. Delirium, possibly. On finding that his temperature was perfectly normal, he toyed with the idea that he was going mad.
But madness wasn't supposed to feel so nice, surely?.
"The world is such a wonderful place!" he sang to himself, before realising with disgust what words he had just uttered. What was happening to him? It was surely some kind of mind control…
Xavier!
Had Erik not been feeling unusual that day, he would have been wreaking gruesome and painful revenge on the bald professor by now. The happiness flowing through him seemed to overcome any negative feelings, which was hard for him. He thrived on negative emotion, after all.
With a noticeable spring in his step, he strode into the main room wondering what to do with his day. Somehow he just didn't feel like causing havoc amongst humans or kidnapping defenceless mutants. And.. what was this desire to have fun, of all things?
The room was empty except for Pietro, who was doing a very good job of sulking. Erik was greeted with his son's usual "I wish you were dead," and a sullen glare.
"Good morning, Pietro," his father replied pleasantly and made himself a cup of coffee. He couldn't even remember the last time he had done something for himself. It was probably for this reason that he ended up with a cup of murky, brown water rather than coffee.
He watched his son from across the table with more interest than he could ever remember having in Pietro. The boy sat with his arms folded, swinging his legs and staring at the floor with disgust. Teenagers were absolutely fascinating creatures, he observed, wondering if he had ever been like that.
'Ah,' a voice in his head told him. 'But Pietro has a reason to sulk.'
Erik blinked. The voice was not Xavier's, but entirely his and all the more alien.
He had insight now? What next, compassion?
'You have treated him dreadfully. You ought to apologise.'
Ah..
Pietro noticed his father staring at him and gave him a one finger salute in response.
"Can I help you?" he jeered, looking like he'd like nothing more than to rip his head off.
"Pietro, I was going to ask you the same question," Erik replied. There. He was beginning to be a compassionate, insightful father. Really, being happy wasn't so bad at all. He wasn't frolicking yet, by any accounts.
"What?"
To Erik's surprise, his son's reply wasn't delivered with sarcasm or a smirk. Pietro looked genuinely shocked. It was then that Erik realised just how much he had neglected his som. He had turned little Pietro into a hateful, angsty deliquent by lack of a father figure. Was it too late to- he couldn't believe he was thinking this. He, Magneto, Did Not Feel Remorse.
Only he wasn't Magneto, was he? He was Erik. Magneto was just a code name, but Erik was who he really was. In these past few years he had been taken over by Magneto, acting like the mutant he longed to be. But even then, he was still Erik Lehnsherr, and Erik was really quite a nice man underneath the helmet and cape.
"I have been the most appalling father, Pietro," he said as his son formed a frown very similar to his.
"Now you realise? Or is this another one of your schemes? You don't care about me at all! I hate you!" Pietro loved a drama. He was pushing his father, seeing how far he would go. It was incredibly irritating to see that he wasn't affected at all, watching him calmly with narrowed eyes.
"You have every reason to hate me," Erik gravely nodded his head. "I hope you know that those actions were not mine, but Magneto's."
Pietro blew a lock of hair out his eyes and pouted slightly.
"Great, so now I have a schizo for a father."
It annoyed him even more when Magneto/Erik laughed. Laughed! He was being deadly serious here, trying to hate his father and the man had the nerve to laugh like it was a joke!
"Oh, Pietro," sighed Erik. "I only wish I could make this up to you."
"Hmph." Pietro's pouted even more and began to swing on the back legs of his chair. He knew that doing things like that annoyed parents.
"At least let me cheer you up," offered his father, before putting out a hand to steady his son's chair. "You can't really want to be a beacon for teenage angst."
How wrong he was. Pietro would have liked nothing more than to be crowned Thane of Tantrums, Master of Mood Swings, Sir Pietro of the Sulk.
Yes, Erik decided rather smugly. Fatherhood was not so hard to grasp. He could win Pietro round.. but how? What was the boy interested in, besides the latest issue of Playboy? He supposed that pornography was the best thing for father and son to bond over.
"I vandered eef you vould be vanting a cup of coffee, Magneto?" asked Colossus, who stood at the door looking nervous.
"Thank you, I have been having- I mean, I already have a cup, Colossus."
"Sir, you must let me serve you in some vay! Say the vord and I veel do eet, as I have so sworrn to do!"
Why had he never noticed what a dreadful suck-up Colossus was before? The metallic mutant seemed so desperate to please- almost in a creepy way. Still, Erik could understand his plight. He was desperate to please someone himself. His son, who wore an expression that looked like it ought to be accompanied Queen Victoria's famous quote, "We Are Not Amused."
Just as Colossus was about to leave, he had a flash of inspiration. Maybe he couldn't bond with Pietro yet, but he could entertain him. After all.. Colossus was made of metal, wasn't he? And they didn't call him Magneto for nothing..
"Colossus, there is something you can do. If you would return to your metallic state, please."
Colossus turned himself to metal hesitantly. He hoped Magneto wasn't going to melt him or something. He'd been a faithful servant, hadn't he? What if his actions hadn't been satisfactory- he couldn't bear the idea of having displeased his master!
Erik took one last look at Pietro's face. He was watching Colossus although looking extremely bored nonetheless.
With a small wave of his hand, Erik contorted Colossus' grim face into a huge smile. The metallic mutant's eyes looked confused and terrified, making a bizarre contrast with the forced grin. Pietro yawned and continued to look unimpressed. Erik would have to try harder than that.
He moved Colossus' jaw up and down, making his mouth open and close.
"Polish me, Pietro!" he said in a poor imitation of the silver Acolyte's Russian accent.
"I am having the rust and I am needing the oil!"
Despite himself, Pietro couldn't keep himself from smiling at this. He desperately tried to hide his amusement with another yawn but found that he grinned instead. This was bad, he would not let his father win!
Now Erik was beginning to enjoy being thoroughly silly. He used his powers to create a large pair of breasts in place of the Russian mutant's pectorial muscles.
"You're sick, man, sick," muttered Pietro but his frown unwillingly twisted itself into a smile and a small laugh escaped him. It was so unfair- he didn't want Magneto thinking he actually liked him. He some nerve trying to be funny after all he'd put him through as it was.
And yet.. Colossus. With boobies!
An Australian outburst of expletives told them that Pyro had just witnessed his friend's new look. Gambit stood at the door, openly ogling Colossus' magnificent chest.
"Why, Mr LeBeau I feel violated!" Erik said in his best girly voice while he opened and closed his poor victim's mouth. Pietro gave in to his stubborn nature and laughed raucously with Pyro as their team-mate blushed and muttered in French. OK, so his dad was funny. Big deal, he didn't like him any more for it.
"I do apologise for this, my friend," Erik said as he began to levitate a large amount of drawing pins towards Colossus where they stuck to his metal coat, making him look a very scared, giant hedgehog.
He was treated to a round of applause from Gambit and Pyro and a tiny half smile from his son.
"Make him dance!" Pyro cried, having quite forgotten about the lighter in his hand.
"As you wish."
Erik manipulated poor Colossus' hand so that one finger pointed upwards and then brought the arm up, down, up, down much like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
"More!" cried Gambit, secretly wondering what metallic breasts would feel like to the touch. He was rewarded with a series of pelvic thrusts from their fellow Acolyte and then an impressive Russian Cossack dance.
As he made the poor mutant dance for his audience, Erik took another look at Pietro. He looked amused by the spectacle if not a little disturbed. Erik couldn't remember the last time he saw his son smile and likewise, Pietro couldn't remember ever seeing his father smile.
Running out of silly things to do with Colossus, Erik attracted a selection of cultery on to his metal coat. He then placed a colander on the mutant's head and formed the selection of knives and forks into a risqué bikini.
"Make him sing, make him sing!" screeched Pyro, who had absent-mindedly set fire to Gambit's hair.
So Erik treated them to a selection of Karaoke hits. Poor Colossus grooved, boogied and shimmied through some of the most appalling songs he had heard in his sorry life. It didn't help that they were delivered by Magneto, whose rendition of I Will Survive made the title seem very doubtful.
After a short tap dance from the Russian Acolyte, Erik decided his work was done. He had humiliated himself and the metallic mutant enough. Colossus turned himself back to flesh and fled from the room looking close to tears, Erik making a mental note to make it up to him later.
Gambit noticed that his hair was on fire and shrieked in a somewhat feminine manner, running for the bathroom.
Pyro looked longingly at the flames in Gambit's hair and kissed the lighter in his hand, going off to his bedroom to spend some time alone with his beautiful fire.
Pietro just sat and watched his father, no longer knowing what to say. Old Magneto had changed, that was certain. Why the change of heart all of a sudden? He made a half-hearted attempt at sulking when his father looked his way but couldn't keep it up.
"Your powers are so cool!" he blurted out, hating himself for saying something positive to his dad. He couldn't just forgive him like that, could he? He was supposed to bear a grudge towards him for as long as they both lived, not feel proud to have Magneto as a father!
"Did that break the ice, my son?" Erik asked, savouring the words "my son". Yes, it was shamelessly sentimental. Nauseating, really. But how else could he show Pietro he was sorry and cared about him?
If he wasn't careful he was going to start sprouting angel wings.
Bloody, bloody Xavier!
For once, Pietro was stuck for words. He really wanted Magneto to make hating him easier. Why did he have to use the "s"-word, the one that he knew would make any remaining ice melt? He sounded so sincere using those words- perhaps- maybe he did care.
Feeling like a character in a dreadfully sugary sitcom, Erik then did what he thought he would never do again. He brought his son into an embrace, even pausing to ruffle his son's hair affectionately.
This happiness thing- it wasn't so bad. He felt the years of hatred and bitterness wash away as a new emotion stirred in him. Pride! Fatherly pride and.. oh yes, this was it- the big one. Love.
The moment was eventually spoilt by the Cajun's screams of disgust.
"Look, you piece of shit! A bald patch! I gon' kill you- gimme that lighter an' I show you where to put it, mon ami!"
A high-pitched yell from Pyro told the newly reunited father and son that he had done just that.
He was even more disturbed to find that he whistled as he shaved and smiled at his reflection in the mirror. For Erik, being happy was a bad sign. The feeling was so unfamiliar to him that he suspected a fever for a while. Delirium, possibly. On finding that his temperature was perfectly normal, he toyed with the idea that he was going mad.
But madness wasn't supposed to feel so nice, surely?.
"The world is such a wonderful place!" he sang to himself, before realising with disgust what words he had just uttered. What was happening to him? It was surely some kind of mind control…
Xavier!
Had Erik not been feeling unusual that day, he would have been wreaking gruesome and painful revenge on the bald professor by now. The happiness flowing through him seemed to overcome any negative feelings, which was hard for him. He thrived on negative emotion, after all.
With a noticeable spring in his step, he strode into the main room wondering what to do with his day. Somehow he just didn't feel like causing havoc amongst humans or kidnapping defenceless mutants. And.. what was this desire to have fun, of all things?
The room was empty except for Pietro, who was doing a very good job of sulking. Erik was greeted with his son's usual "I wish you were dead," and a sullen glare.
"Good morning, Pietro," his father replied pleasantly and made himself a cup of coffee. He couldn't even remember the last time he had done something for himself. It was probably for this reason that he ended up with a cup of murky, brown water rather than coffee.
He watched his son from across the table with more interest than he could ever remember having in Pietro. The boy sat with his arms folded, swinging his legs and staring at the floor with disgust. Teenagers were absolutely fascinating creatures, he observed, wondering if he had ever been like that.
'Ah,' a voice in his head told him. 'But Pietro has a reason to sulk.'
Erik blinked. The voice was not Xavier's, but entirely his and all the more alien.
He had insight now? What next, compassion?
'You have treated him dreadfully. You ought to apologise.'
Ah..
Pietro noticed his father staring at him and gave him a one finger salute in response.
"Can I help you?" he jeered, looking like he'd like nothing more than to rip his head off.
"Pietro, I was going to ask you the same question," Erik replied. There. He was beginning to be a compassionate, insightful father. Really, being happy wasn't so bad at all. He wasn't frolicking yet, by any accounts.
"What?"
To Erik's surprise, his son's reply wasn't delivered with sarcasm or a smirk. Pietro looked genuinely shocked. It was then that Erik realised just how much he had neglected his som. He had turned little Pietro into a hateful, angsty deliquent by lack of a father figure. Was it too late to- he couldn't believe he was thinking this. He, Magneto, Did Not Feel Remorse.
Only he wasn't Magneto, was he? He was Erik. Magneto was just a code name, but Erik was who he really was. In these past few years he had been taken over by Magneto, acting like the mutant he longed to be. But even then, he was still Erik Lehnsherr, and Erik was really quite a nice man underneath the helmet and cape.
"I have been the most appalling father, Pietro," he said as his son formed a frown very similar to his.
"Now you realise? Or is this another one of your schemes? You don't care about me at all! I hate you!" Pietro loved a drama. He was pushing his father, seeing how far he would go. It was incredibly irritating to see that he wasn't affected at all, watching him calmly with narrowed eyes.
"You have every reason to hate me," Erik gravely nodded his head. "I hope you know that those actions were not mine, but Magneto's."
Pietro blew a lock of hair out his eyes and pouted slightly.
"Great, so now I have a schizo for a father."
It annoyed him even more when Magneto/Erik laughed. Laughed! He was being deadly serious here, trying to hate his father and the man had the nerve to laugh like it was a joke!
"Oh, Pietro," sighed Erik. "I only wish I could make this up to you."
"Hmph." Pietro's pouted even more and began to swing on the back legs of his chair. He knew that doing things like that annoyed parents.
"At least let me cheer you up," offered his father, before putting out a hand to steady his son's chair. "You can't really want to be a beacon for teenage angst."
How wrong he was. Pietro would have liked nothing more than to be crowned Thane of Tantrums, Master of Mood Swings, Sir Pietro of the Sulk.
Yes, Erik decided rather smugly. Fatherhood was not so hard to grasp. He could win Pietro round.. but how? What was the boy interested in, besides the latest issue of Playboy? He supposed that pornography was the best thing for father and son to bond over.
"I vandered eef you vould be vanting a cup of coffee, Magneto?" asked Colossus, who stood at the door looking nervous.
"Thank you, I have been having- I mean, I already have a cup, Colossus."
"Sir, you must let me serve you in some vay! Say the vord and I veel do eet, as I have so sworrn to do!"
Why had he never noticed what a dreadful suck-up Colossus was before? The metallic mutant seemed so desperate to please- almost in a creepy way. Still, Erik could understand his plight. He was desperate to please someone himself. His son, who wore an expression that looked like it ought to be accompanied Queen Victoria's famous quote, "We Are Not Amused."
Just as Colossus was about to leave, he had a flash of inspiration. Maybe he couldn't bond with Pietro yet, but he could entertain him. After all.. Colossus was made of metal, wasn't he? And they didn't call him Magneto for nothing..
"Colossus, there is something you can do. If you would return to your metallic state, please."
Colossus turned himself to metal hesitantly. He hoped Magneto wasn't going to melt him or something. He'd been a faithful servant, hadn't he? What if his actions hadn't been satisfactory- he couldn't bear the idea of having displeased his master!
Erik took one last look at Pietro's face. He was watching Colossus although looking extremely bored nonetheless.
With a small wave of his hand, Erik contorted Colossus' grim face into a huge smile. The metallic mutant's eyes looked confused and terrified, making a bizarre contrast with the forced grin. Pietro yawned and continued to look unimpressed. Erik would have to try harder than that.
He moved Colossus' jaw up and down, making his mouth open and close.
"Polish me, Pietro!" he said in a poor imitation of the silver Acolyte's Russian accent.
"I am having the rust and I am needing the oil!"
Despite himself, Pietro couldn't keep himself from smiling at this. He desperately tried to hide his amusement with another yawn but found that he grinned instead. This was bad, he would not let his father win!
Now Erik was beginning to enjoy being thoroughly silly. He used his powers to create a large pair of breasts in place of the Russian mutant's pectorial muscles.
"You're sick, man, sick," muttered Pietro but his frown unwillingly twisted itself into a smile and a small laugh escaped him. It was so unfair- he didn't want Magneto thinking he actually liked him. He some nerve trying to be funny after all he'd put him through as it was.
And yet.. Colossus. With boobies!
An Australian outburst of expletives told them that Pyro had just witnessed his friend's new look. Gambit stood at the door, openly ogling Colossus' magnificent chest.
"Why, Mr LeBeau I feel violated!" Erik said in his best girly voice while he opened and closed his poor victim's mouth. Pietro gave in to his stubborn nature and laughed raucously with Pyro as their team-mate blushed and muttered in French. OK, so his dad was funny. Big deal, he didn't like him any more for it.
"I do apologise for this, my friend," Erik said as he began to levitate a large amount of drawing pins towards Colossus where they stuck to his metal coat, making him look a very scared, giant hedgehog.
He was treated to a round of applause from Gambit and Pyro and a tiny half smile from his son.
"Make him dance!" Pyro cried, having quite forgotten about the lighter in his hand.
"As you wish."
Erik manipulated poor Colossus' hand so that one finger pointed upwards and then brought the arm up, down, up, down much like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
"More!" cried Gambit, secretly wondering what metallic breasts would feel like to the touch. He was rewarded with a series of pelvic thrusts from their fellow Acolyte and then an impressive Russian Cossack dance.
As he made the poor mutant dance for his audience, Erik took another look at Pietro. He looked amused by the spectacle if not a little disturbed. Erik couldn't remember the last time he saw his son smile and likewise, Pietro couldn't remember ever seeing his father smile.
Running out of silly things to do with Colossus, Erik attracted a selection of cultery on to his metal coat. He then placed a colander on the mutant's head and formed the selection of knives and forks into a risqué bikini.
"Make him sing, make him sing!" screeched Pyro, who had absent-mindedly set fire to Gambit's hair.
So Erik treated them to a selection of Karaoke hits. Poor Colossus grooved, boogied and shimmied through some of the most appalling songs he had heard in his sorry life. It didn't help that they were delivered by Magneto, whose rendition of I Will Survive made the title seem very doubtful.
After a short tap dance from the Russian Acolyte, Erik decided his work was done. He had humiliated himself and the metallic mutant enough. Colossus turned himself back to flesh and fled from the room looking close to tears, Erik making a mental note to make it up to him later.
Gambit noticed that his hair was on fire and shrieked in a somewhat feminine manner, running for the bathroom.
Pyro looked longingly at the flames in Gambit's hair and kissed the lighter in his hand, going off to his bedroom to spend some time alone with his beautiful fire.
Pietro just sat and watched his father, no longer knowing what to say. Old Magneto had changed, that was certain. Why the change of heart all of a sudden? He made a half-hearted attempt at sulking when his father looked his way but couldn't keep it up.
"Your powers are so cool!" he blurted out, hating himself for saying something positive to his dad. He couldn't just forgive him like that, could he? He was supposed to bear a grudge towards him for as long as they both lived, not feel proud to have Magneto as a father!
"Did that break the ice, my son?" Erik asked, savouring the words "my son". Yes, it was shamelessly sentimental. Nauseating, really. But how else could he show Pietro he was sorry and cared about him?
If he wasn't careful he was going to start sprouting angel wings.
Bloody, bloody Xavier!
For once, Pietro was stuck for words. He really wanted Magneto to make hating him easier. Why did he have to use the "s"-word, the one that he knew would make any remaining ice melt? He sounded so sincere using those words- perhaps- maybe he did care.
Feeling like a character in a dreadfully sugary sitcom, Erik then did what he thought he would never do again. He brought his son into an embrace, even pausing to ruffle his son's hair affectionately.
This happiness thing- it wasn't so bad. He felt the years of hatred and bitterness wash away as a new emotion stirred in him. Pride! Fatherly pride and.. oh yes, this was it- the big one. Love.
The moment was eventually spoilt by the Cajun's screams of disgust.
"Look, you piece of shit! A bald patch! I gon' kill you- gimme that lighter an' I show you where to put it, mon ami!"
A high-pitched yell from Pyro told the newly reunited father and son that he had done just that.