The Unwanted Saiyan

Part Seven

Chi-Chi awakened to an empty house. She had spent most of the night crying before she finally fell asleep. When she looked at the clock, she saw it was half past seven. Goku and Gohan were out training with Piccolo and wouldn't be back until nine. They would head out again and either catch their own lunch or skip it and come home at dinner hungry. She normally wouldn't have slept this late because she would hear Goku in the shower or he would gently wake her up and told her he was leaving to go training.

This morning, Goku didn't enter the room. She wondered if he would come for breakfast. She got started on breakfast for two hungry Saiyans anyway. By nine, Gohan entered the house for breakfast without Goku.

"Where's your father?"

"He's said he was going to spar with Piccolo some more while I eat breakfast. He said he has a lot of catching up to do," Gohan said before heading upstairs to clean his hands.

Chi-Chi frowned. She thought he was coming for breakfast. Gohan quickly returned and ate his breakfast. Chi-Chi put what was suppose to be Goku's breakfast in plastic containers.

"I'm off, Mom," Gohan said at the door.

"Gohan, wait." Gohan looked back at his mother. She walked to him carrying a large bag. "Give this to your father. If I know him, he'll be hungry for breakfast no matter how much he train."

"Okay, Mom. See ya at dinner." Gohan said and took off.

"Make sure your father comes home for dinner!" Chi-Chi yelled once Gohan was in the sky.

Goku and Piccolo rested by a lake after an extensive sparing session. Piccolo was consuming the water where as Goku was sitting on the grass as he relaxed and waited for Gohan's returned. Piccolo picked up something wasn't right with Goku mentally. Kakarot wasn't back he knew that but something else was wrong with him, especially since he didn't go home for breakfast.

"Okay, Goku. What's up?" Piccolo asked.

Goku looked at Piccolo. "What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you go home and eat breakfast? No matter how much training you have to catch up on, you never skip eating," Piccolo said.

Goku looked out over the lake. Images of what Chi-Chi experienced when Kakarot was out ran through his mind. He thought about when he nearly attacked her, to when Kakarot snapped at her for the birth control pills and then there was the way he was with her in the bedroom that night.

'How could I lose control of myself? I don't see how Chi-Chi can ever forgive me.'

"Goku?"

Goku looked over and saw Piccolo still watching him. "What?"

"What is your problem?"

"I'm fine," Goku answered.

'Yeah, right,' Piccolo thought wryly.

Before Piccolo could say anything else, Gohan showed up. He landed before his father holding out the bad to him. "Here, Dad. Mom made you breakfast. She said not to skip dinner tonight."

Goku took the bag from his on. "Oh. Thanks, Gohan." He looked at the food, still warm. He quickly ate to savor the food and its warmth.

Piccolo just watch Goku vigorously eat his breakfast. 'Yeah. Something's not right.'

When dinner came around, Goku arrived home to eat dinner. For Gohan's sake, the two pretended nothing was wrong. After dinner, Gohan went to his room to study. Goku sat at the table watching Chi-Chi finish up on the dinner dishes he and Gohan left.

"How did you sleep?" Goku asked.

"Fine," Chi-Chi said too quickly. "I want you to come home for breakfast," she added.

Goku looked up, hope in his eyes. "You do?"

"Yes. I don't want Gohan to pick up on anything."

Goku's hopes were dashed with that remarked. He thought Chi-Chi wanted him to come home for her sake and not their son's. "Okay." There was that uncomfortable silence between them. Goku didn't know what to say and it seem Chi-Chi had said all that she had to say. He rose from his chair. "I'm gonna go take a bath outside then go to sleep. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow."

Chi-Chi heard the door close behind her. She looked at it regrettably. She wanted to say more but she don't know what she could've said. She was still trying to get use to the fact that Goku was really back and battle her own inner conflict with him.

The distant between them continued on for two weeks and Gohan never suspected anything, except for one thing. Whenever he did see his parents together at breakfast, lunch, if they went home, and dinner he saw his father spontaneous give his mom a hug or kiss and tell her that he missed her. It didn't bother him that his parents were affectionate but he just thought it to be strange his father be affectionate like that suddenly and Gohan also felt it was one sided since his mother didn't openly received his hugs or kisses. When his Dad first started doing it, Gohan could've warn he saw his mother jumped before she relaxed but her vibes still weren't right.

With Goku and Gohan gone training, Chi-Chi had a lot to herself and much to think about. As much distance she put between herself and her husband, Chi-Chi missed Goku terribly. She missed sleeping with him in their bed, missed the way he looked at her sometimes, missed talking to him. Though frigid when Goku surprised her with a hug or kiss when he comes back from training, Chi-Chi longed for those moments, but she was still afraid. She was still afraid Kakarot would come back again. She stirred the pot of stew at the stove slowly as she thought about what Kakarot did. She was distracted when she heard Bulma tapping on her window.

Chi-Chi left the stew and went to open the door. "Hello, Bulma."

Bulma had a frown on her face, feeling guilty. "I came to apologize for my behavior. Yamcha told me about Goku's counterpart Kakarot coming out. I don't know all of what he did but it couldn't have been good for you or Gohan. Vegeta never told me anything, but I guess you came to him because you suspected something was wrong with Goku and since he's a Saiyan, he could help. I'm sorry, Chi-Chi. I inadvertently mentioned the birth control pills. I didn't know it would make Goku so mad. I thought you were being unfaithful to Goku. I know it sounds stupid. No one knows loyalty like you."

Chi-Chi thought about what Kakarot told her. 'She likes Vegeta. She's going to have his child. Bulma and Vegeta? I know Goku had to have been shocked by that. I shouldn't tell her I know she's attracted to Vegeta.' "It's all right, Bulma. You were looking out for Goku. It shows how good a friend you are to him."

'If only you know the real truth, Chi-Chi.' "I still feel bad for what I thought. Anyway, I came to apologize. How are you and Goku?"

"We're doing okay. He's off training for the Androids with Gohan and Piccolo."

"I think that's amazing. How you can forgive Goku for his behavior when he was Kakarot. It shows how much you love him and how strong you are. Since you got pass that, you and Goku can get pass anything. I have to get back at Capsule Corp. Yamcha's trying to outdo Vegeta in training." Bulma shook her idea at the thought. "He's going to kill himself I swear. I'll see ya later, Chi-Chi."

Chi-Chi watched Bulma get in her capsule plane and leave. What Bulma said struck her.

How you can forgive Goku for his behavior when he was Kakarot shows how much you love him and how strong you are. Since you got pass that, you and Goku can get pass anything.

"That's the problem. I'm having a hard time forgiving him," Chi-Chi thought and remembered how Goku looked to her when he confessed how he failed her because he couldn't protect her and Gohan from him. She saw the hurt and pain in his eyes and it stirred sympathy in her.

"Goku would never have done those things if he was in control of the body. He was probably trying his hardest to fight off Kakarot. I'm scared of Kakarot resurfacing again. I don't understand how Goku could become that man. If I learn to understand him and how he became that way, then maybe I can learn to forgive him."

****

As Chi-Chi prepared for bed one evening, she realized it was cooler tonight than it has been in the past two days. She wondered about Goku and if he would be warm. Cold never bothered him unless it was freezing or snowing and it wasn't that cold. Grabbing a blanket, she left the house and made the short trip to Grandpa Gohan's house.

After knocking on the door, it slowly opened. "Chi-Chi?"

"I thought you may be cold," Chi-Chi said holding up a blanket.

"Oh," Goku said taking the blanket. "Thanks."


"Do you mind if I come in?"

"No," he said and stepped out of the way so Chi-Chi can come in.

Chi-Chi looked around the small one room home. "It's amazing that you and your grandfather stayed in this small place."

"It looks kind of small now since I'm been living at my other home," Goku said.

"Is the futon comfortable?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Yeah."

Chi-Chi sat on it and felt the material. It wasn't the same one Goku had with his grandpa. This one was new by a few years. "Remember when we were first married and we had to stay here since we were building our own home? Gosh, it seems like a long time ago, but it hasn't even been a decade."

Goku leaned against the door. "Yeah. You never been in a place this small. You said we needed a bigger place to live in, but you liked staying on the small futon since we were close together." Goku frowned realizing what he said and knowing she wasn't ready for that.

"Yeah, I remember," Chi-Chi said quietly. "I don't know how long we can keep this up without Gohan finding out. I don't want him to worry. I want us to try to get past this, Goku."

"I do, too," Goku said. There was a still silence between them for five minutes. They could have many moments of silence between them and it could be comfortable, but this one wasn't. "What are you thinking?" Goku asked.

"I'm thinking about what Vegeta told me. He said when you first became a Super Saiyan; it triggered your Kakarot side to come out."

"Yeah, something did come over me when I first became a Super Saiyan. You just don't understand, Chi-Chi. You don't know what I was going through."

Chi-Chi did something Goku didn't expect. She took his hand and sat him on the futon beside her. This was the closest they've been since he left their bedroom that night two weeks ago. "Then help me understand. How do you feel when you transform?"

"I'm angry, but at the same time calm. When I am a Super Saiyan, I'm not exactly myself. When I was on Yardrat recovering and testing my powers, I had plenty of time to think about my behavior when I fought Frieza. I was a little arrogant then."


"What do you mean?"

"When I got this new power, I had the feeling I could do anything."

"Goku, you always have that feeling."

"No, there's more to it than that. I was too confident. I could've easily defeated Frieza when I first transformed. I lost my head for a while. When I first became a Super Saiyan, I not only wanted to kill Frieza. I wanted to slaughter him. I was losing my mind in a sea of rage I created. I was furious when Krillin died to Tamberine but that anger was nothing compared to the anger I felt when I saw Krillin's body blow up by Frieza. I couldn't control the blast of rage I felt as it exploded around me."

"Gohan, did you tell me you were scary to him."

"Yeah," Goku said regretfully. "In my state of mind, I guess I was scary. Whatever reason I had left in mind, I used it to tell Gohan to leave. Not only because I didn't want Gohan to see what I would do, but I didn't have control of this new power and I was afraid I would do something crazy like go after him."

Goku looked down because he didn't want to see what was probably a look of horror on Chi-Chi's face when he told her just how unstable he was when he first transformed into a Super Saiyan.

Chi-Chi squeezed Goku's hand that was linked with hers. Goku looked up at Chi-Chi, a calm expression on her face. Chi-Chi reached out with a free hand to caress his right cheek.

"Go on," she said softly. 'Don't be afraid, Chi-Chi. You have to hear this. You must know what was going on in Goku's mind.'

Goku reached up and pulled Chi-Chi's hand from his face holding it in his hand. "When I was on Namek as a Super Saiyan, I was fighting two battles--Frieza and the inner battle in my mind. In the beginning, my uncontrolled mind was fighting Frieza. I did what you will think is foolish but I know it was the Saiyan in me I had long hidden in control."

"What do you mean? What did you do?"

"I had time to defeat Frieza but I was toying with him. I enjoyed seeing him whimper and shake in fear of my power. I could've defeated him then but I didn't. I even let Frieza reach his maximum power. At the time I transformed, he was only at fifty percent."

"Why did you let him go higher if you could've defeated him when he transformed? That's not like you."

"I know, but a part of me wanted to test my new power on him. I know it was stupid since the fate of universe rested on this battle, but it was also the thrill. The warrior in me wanted to face him in his full power so I can prove that I was the strongest warrior in the universe and I would have no doubts about the fight later on. I know in the past I wouldn't have done that but I did. It's probably why I went against Bulma's suggestion to get the dragon balls and find Dr. Gero's lab and destroy it before he could create the Androids. I want to face the Androids head on and see how powerful they are. I have the antidote to the virus so I will be here in three years."

"I can't imagine you being sick," Chi-Chi said fearfully. "You never get sick. I hope you never get that virus."

Goku squeezed both Chi-Chi's hands in comfort. "If I get sick, I can beat it.

"At the end of the battle, I didn't slaughter Frieza like I planned. I spared him. When I was on Yardrat recuperating and testing my new powers, I thought I had control of myself but I guess I didn't have enough control. Otherwise this whole mess wouldn't have happened."

"And do you now?" Chi-Chi asked cautiously.

"Yes. I'm sure of it now. Kakarot is a part of me as much as I'm a full bloodied Saiyan. I can't get rid of it. The rage the Kakarot side of me has helped me be a Super Saiyan."

"So, you think of rage and that's how you transform?" Chi-Chi asked.

"The feeling of loss channels that rage, but I have more control of it now."

"Let me see you transform," Chi-Chi requested.

Goku blinked. "You want to see me change."

Chi-Chi nodded. "Yes." She removed her hands from his and sat back on the futon. "Is this enough room?"

Goku stood up. "It'll be fine. I can change at will." He stood back from the futon and changed before her.

Chi-Chi gasped seeing the transformation. One moment he was standing with black hair and black eyes and the next standing with blonde hair, teal eyes, looking bigger than before. "Wow." Chi-Chi said in awe. "How do you feel? Is that rage still running in you?"

"A little, but I won't harm you. I promise."

Chi-Chi walked to him. She reached up and touched his hair. "It's still soft. I swear, you have the weirdest hair," she joked. "You look different with blonde hair and teal eyes." She looked and felt the muscles on his arms and chest. "You look bigger too. I know you're already extremely strong. How much stronger are you now?"

"Um, I guess two or three times stronger than my normal state."

Chi-Chi looked at his face. 'He looks so serious.' "Can't you relax? Put on a happier face?"

"I can't be as relaxed as I normally am, but I think with more training I could. This is a difficult power to master. I have more control of it now than ever before. It may take a few years but I'd like to see how long I can stay in this state before I wear myself out. I want to see if I can stay in this form for hours and days on it but it will take time."

"Like a couple of years?" Chi-Chi guessed and Goku nodded. "Will you be ready for the Androids anyway?"

"In three years, we should be," Goku said confidently and relaxed as he returned to his normal state. "Our very lives depend on it."

"It's a lot to take in, but I'm beginning to understand you and this new power better." Chi-Chi took the blanket she had brought Goku and folded it. "Well, then. Shall we go?"

Goku blinked confused. "Go where?"

"Back to our home, to our bed. I don't think I can take being in bed without you another night. After what you told me, I feel a little better by being with you now. Not one hundred percent assured but a little better." She held her hand out to him.

Goku smiled and slowly took her hand gently into his. They walked out the small cottage and into their home and bedroom. When they entered the bedroom, Chi-Chi face him nervously.

"I just want to sleep, okay."

"Can we sleep close?" Goku requested. "I've missed sleeping close to you. You keep me warm."

Chi-Chi looked reluctant. 'Small steps, Chi-Chi. You will have to do this eventually.' "Okay, Goku, but I think it's you who radiates the most body heat." She put the blanket back in the closet and pulled back the covers of their bed. Chi-Chi got in first and then Goku. Goku laid down and watched Chi-Chi carefully waiting for her. She laid down beside him and moved a little closer until their skin pressed next to each other.

'It feels strange but it's a start.' Chi-Chi thought. She nearly jumped feeling Goku roll on his side and drape an arm over her. The feeling of Goku next to her was becoming more comfortable than scary. She placed a hand over his and smiled. 'It's a start.'

To Be Continued

AN: Yeah, I know. I could've finished it here, but it was kind of long as one solid chapter so I decided to divide it in half.

V son saiyan: ChiChi's warming up to Goku some since she allowed him to sleep in bed with her again. Goku's inner self shows who Goku is. He's a Saiyan and Saiyans have tails.

Night Raven: I think you may have me confused with someone else. This is my first time posting this story.

Ultimate Seto Fan: I didn't read your review because I think it contain a spoiler. Please no spoilers.

Leigh: Very good point. Goku and ChiChi see a shrink? Imagine them trying to explain this to a shrink. She may label them both as nuts. Hee. Hee.

Lady AngelFiren: Oh, thanks a lot. I had think about how I believe Kakarot and Goku behave and I believe Goku did have an inner struggle with himself when he fought Frieza. After all, when he became a Super Saiyan, he wasn't the same Goku anymore. I wrote a lot of these stories in advance but sometimes things come up that I change it right before I post it.

Nisha: Hee. Hee. It shows Goku and ChiChi have true love.

Sadako: Well, it's understandable ChiChi would feel that way. That's because Goku and ChiChi are keeping their marital problems from their son.

Lady Athena: Yeah, can't make it to easy for them. Heh. Heh. The evil persona Kakarot is gone and won't resurface but Kakarot will never be gone completely. When Goku's seriously ticked off you see Kakarot and when Goku does something that's more Saiyan-like, like Goku destroying those earrings and fighting Kid Buu on his own accord and he sounded a little too full of himself, that's more of his Saiyan nature. Of course Goku and ChiChi will get back together. I love that couple.

Ssjchika: She has to forgive Goku because I'm writing it and Goten needs to be born. Hee. Hee.

Piccolo: Nah, Kakarot isn't returning. I thought you'd like good endings since you're a good guy now. Gohan did change you, you know. Couldn't end it like that. That's too easy. I have to throw in a little more drama. Take care of Sammi or she'll really kick your butt by playing hard rock music on your sensitive ears. While you're here, answer this question for me. When you were training with Goku and Gohan for the Androids, you had to have camp near the Son home. So, did you hear any weird noises at night sometimes by Goku and Chichi (you know what I'm talking about) and when you did, what did you do?

Danichan: Well, you do. If anyone can think of a way to kill Bulma with toothpicks, that's kind of wicked. Heh. Heh. Never found Piccolo attractive. He's cool though. Krillin is cool and if I wanted someone as my best friend, I'll definitely choose him. I like Yamcha. I'm not fond of how people bash him in their stories. Besides, they are way off on him in some of the B/V stories.

Moon Girl: Not long.

Oninu: Well, ChiChi shouldn't just give in to him. A married woman shouldn't just have sex because her husband want to. She should want to as well. She was a little violated by him as Kakarot and that has scarred her. Goku has to understand what ChiChi is going through.

Gogirl: I never saw Angel. Please, no spoilers. Everyone seems to forget I hate spoilers. Aw, well. I saw it so it doesn't matter. I can't make it too easy because I have to have my beloved characters suffer a little more before reconciliation.

Chuquita: Hey, you're right! Have you been reading some stories on my computer? Hee. Hee.

Contrail: No, it wouldn't seem real for them to easily make up after what ChiChi went through and all, but they are working on getting better.

SSJ Kain: LOL! I can imagine the narrator saying that. Ah…cliffhangers. How I love them.

DBZ Chick: Thanks.

Jessica C: LOL! Yeah, just grab Goku and pulled him back in the room. No, they need a little separation. Of course I'm going to make a happy ending for them. They were happy before the Androids.