Sephiroth's pit of ultimate darkness, Episode 1
*Dramatic clap of thunder, the mellifluous "I wanna hold your Hand," crooning in the background*
*Sephiroth emerge into Spotlight*
Sephiroth: Welcome Ladies and Germs, to Sephiroth's pit of Ulti-*dramatic clap of thunder* -.mate..darkness.CLOUDUBUS! not until AFTER I say pit of Ulitimate Darkness!
*Enter Cloud Strife, in a rather fetching spandex swimsuit..with flowers!*
Sephiroth: SSCCCRRREEEEEEEECCCHH!!!! CLOUDUBUS! You wear SATAN'S CLOTHING!!!
Cloudubus: I rather like it...
Sephiroth: You kinky, rabid, pervert monkey! *Waggles eyebrows*
Cloudubus: *blinks*..oh, here Sephiroth, you dropped this highly sexually suggestive picture.TIFA?
Sephiroth: *blushes and incinerates picture* YOU CANNOT PROVE IT! Anyways, Ladies and germs, on to today's show. Today we learn how to torture those annoying little old ladies and their little old dogs who seem to crap all over the place, so that you step in it when going to buy your weekly edition of pornography, and end up smearing it all over your pimp-mobiles floor mats-
Cloudubus: Uh..Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: *Sighs* .yes Cloudubus, my evil clone, what is it?
Cloudubus: Does this make me look fat? *Holds up flowered sundress*
Sephiroth: *gasps, clutching chest* CLOUDUBUS! You evil, rabid kinky pervert monkey!! *Waggles eyebrows* THIS IS NOT PROPER EVIL! PROPER EVIL IS TORTUING AERIS!!!
Cloudubus: oh..
*Door opens to reveal Aeris holding a flower basket*
Sephiroth: Now.it is done like this.*grabs flowers and beheads them* Aeris: NO! MY ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME!!!
Tifa: *enters, chest *ahem* bouncing* Mr.Not-Nice! You say sorry.
Sephiroth: *edges closer to Tifa, eyes glued to her chest* Why Tifa, what a large CHEST you have!
Tifa: All the better to blind you wi-.uh Sephiroth.I'm up here..
Sephiroth: *Head buried in cleavage, muffled voice heard* "I've made my choice."
Cloudubus: *holding large tube-like object* Uh, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: *head still buried in Tifa's bosom* what now, my minion, can you not see I am busy???!!!
Cloud: Remember what you were telling me last week? About the best way to make cookies in the shape of-
Sephiroth: SILENCE!
Tifa: *Brandishes perverse cookie cutters*
Sephiroth: My, my, my.Tifa, you are quite the pervert *grins perversely* .Allow me to sex you.
Cloudubus: *taps sephy's shoulder* Um..the audience is still here.
Sephiroth: *Looks embarrassed* Uh right.That's all for the evening folks, next week, we'll learn how to potograph marmots violating pepsi and sell it for money on e-bay!
Cloudubus: Like your Tifa blow up doll?
Sephiroth: *Giggles* So you have discovered my dirty little secret..you kinky pervert monkey.
Aeris: *sobbing over beheaded flowers*
*lights fade, I wanna hold your hand fades, maniacal laughing and giggling erupt.*
*Dramatic clap of thunder, the mellifluous "I wanna hold your Hand," crooning in the background*
*Sephiroth emerge into Spotlight*
Sephiroth: Welcome Ladies and Germs, to Sephiroth's pit of Ulti-*dramatic clap of thunder* -.mate..darkness.CLOUDUBUS! not until AFTER I say pit of Ulitimate Darkness!
*Enter Cloud Strife, in a rather fetching spandex swimsuit..with flowers!*
Sephiroth: SSCCCRRREEEEEEEECCCHH!!!! CLOUDUBUS! You wear SATAN'S CLOTHING!!!
Cloudubus: I rather like it...
Sephiroth: You kinky, rabid, pervert monkey! *Waggles eyebrows*
Cloudubus: *blinks*..oh, here Sephiroth, you dropped this highly sexually suggestive picture.TIFA?
Sephiroth: *blushes and incinerates picture* YOU CANNOT PROVE IT! Anyways, Ladies and germs, on to today's show. Today we learn how to torture those annoying little old ladies and their little old dogs who seem to crap all over the place, so that you step in it when going to buy your weekly edition of pornography, and end up smearing it all over your pimp-mobiles floor mats-
Cloudubus: Uh..Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: *Sighs* .yes Cloudubus, my evil clone, what is it?
Cloudubus: Does this make me look fat? *Holds up flowered sundress*
Sephiroth: *gasps, clutching chest* CLOUDUBUS! You evil, rabid kinky pervert monkey!! *Waggles eyebrows* THIS IS NOT PROPER EVIL! PROPER EVIL IS TORTUING AERIS!!!
Cloudubus: oh..
*Door opens to reveal Aeris holding a flower basket*
Sephiroth: Now.it is done like this.*grabs flowers and beheads them* Aeris: NO! MY ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME!!!
Tifa: *enters, chest *ahem* bouncing* Mr.Not-Nice! You say sorry.
Sephiroth: *edges closer to Tifa, eyes glued to her chest* Why Tifa, what a large CHEST you have!
Tifa: All the better to blind you wi-.uh Sephiroth.I'm up here..
Sephiroth: *Head buried in cleavage, muffled voice heard* "I've made my choice."
Cloudubus: *holding large tube-like object* Uh, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: *head still buried in Tifa's bosom* what now, my minion, can you not see I am busy???!!!
Cloud: Remember what you were telling me last week? About the best way to make cookies in the shape of-
Sephiroth: SILENCE!
Tifa: *Brandishes perverse cookie cutters*
Sephiroth: My, my, my.Tifa, you are quite the pervert *grins perversely* .Allow me to sex you.
Cloudubus: *taps sephy's shoulder* Um..the audience is still here.
Sephiroth: *Looks embarrassed* Uh right.That's all for the evening folks, next week, we'll learn how to potograph marmots violating pepsi and sell it for money on e-bay!
Cloudubus: Like your Tifa blow up doll?
Sephiroth: *Giggles* So you have discovered my dirty little secret..you kinky pervert monkey.
Aeris: *sobbing over beheaded flowers*
*lights fade, I wanna hold your hand fades, maniacal laughing and giggling erupt.*