ASN: Final chapter.
AN: *sniff* I guess we better let them read it before we lose it, right?
ASN: It'd be nice. Oh, real quick-
SPECIAL NOTE: The final chapter of Artemis Fowl: The Centaur Ordeal is dedicated to our regular reviewers:
Scarletswitchblade, Slime Frog, Trinity Day, Nieni Woodland, Flamaria13, Wolf Child, and Mage Kitty
CHAPTER 15: HOME AGAIN
En route to Fowl Manor, Ireland
Butler drove the Bentley up the windy roads of Ireland, as the sun peeked over the hills. Artemis sat in the back, talking with Root and Holly.
"So, you downloaded a virus into Rand's computer network?" Root asked incredulously. Artemis nodded.
"It was quite simple. One of the files I...appropriated from Foaly's computer was a malicious virus that travels through a computer network and erases every hard drive in contact with the network. I thought it looked intriguing, so I borrowed it. I then downloaded it onto one of the computers in the lower office, and sent it to Rand's computer. When he accesses the his computer, the hard drive while be erased. When he attempts to retrieve his backup files from the network, it will spread to every networked computer in the company."
"Oh. I see." Root lied unconvincingly. The fairy thought about asking why Artemis had lowered his price, but decided not to in case the human changed his mind again. Besides, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Holly had been remarkably well behaved on the shuttle back to Ireland, and the Commander decided to leave well enough alone.
"That's what you were doing when you claimed to be rewriting Volume 13?" Holly questioned. The teen smiled slightly.
"What is this whole Volume 13 thing you two keep talking about?" Root asked.
"His manifest for taking over the world." she replied with a straight face.
"One small step at a time." Artemis finished modestly.
Root sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Stupid question."
Butler pulled the Bentley into the drive and paused by the kitchen door. Artemis opened his door. "It's been a pleasure working with you." he smirked. The fairies looked at each other, and Root took a deep breath.
"Likewise." The two fairies switched on their shields and flew out of the open door. Artemis began walking toward the door, and Holly stared after the human, thinking.
"Come on, Captain, we need to go." Root said softly. Holly pursed her lips.
"I need to say something to the Mud Boy." she declared, revving up her engine. Root stared at her through his helmet lens and finally nodded.
"Fine, but make it quick." He paused, then grinned widely. "I'll be bothering the bodyguard."
Artemis approached the kitchen door. With any luck, Mother would be asleep, or upstairs. He could pop in and tell her he'd arrived late last night. Hopefully she'd be so sleepy she'd forget about the phone call until he could think up a good excuse. He pulled his keys out of his pocket, knocking a golden coin to the ground in the process.
"D'Arvit." he muttered, then sighed. "I have got to stop saying that." He reached for the coin, then pulled back as it rose into the air by itself. Holly suddenly shimmered into view.
"You should," she commented absently, staring at the golden circle with a hole in it. She looked up at him in surprise. "You still have it?"
Artemis paused uncomfortably, "Yes, I do." The fairy's eyes suddenly went cold.
"That's right. Back then, I did say you had a spark of decency, didn't I?"
Artemis did not like her tone of voice. "Yes, you did." he said in a tone just as icy. Holly suddenly grinned mischievously.
"You're slipping. It's a full-fledged coal now." Artemis smiled back, shaking his head. Holly activated her wings and hovered just above his eye level.
"See you later..." she said, and just before disappearing, she laughed. "Arty."
"Very funny, Holly." he snapped, and her laugh floated in the light breeze, joined a second later by Root's. The teen sighed heavily and turned to the door. As he touched the knob, the door swung open by itself.
"You're up early, aren't you?" came the voice of his very unamused mother.
"Good morning." Artemis said, trying to sound casual. He did not do a very good job. He had been caught off his guard. For once.
"And where have you been?" Angeline said, tapping her foot. "You said you would call. You never did. You took your hacker bag to go spelunking..."
"Hacker bag?" Artemis inquired innocently, pulling at the straps of his backpack. His mother scowled.
"I'm not stupid, Artemis." she snapped, then continued on her tirade. "You took your hacker bag, and your laptop. You said I couldn't reach you on your cell phone, but I could. And when ever I did call, because I was worried sick, you were involved in who knows what, but someone was threatening to kill you. You said something to me that sounded like a curse word from another language, and YOU HUNG UP ON ME!!!!" Angeline finished, turning as red as Root. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!?"
Artemis sighed. He was tired. He hadn't been able to sleep for the last two days, and the only time he could have rested was when Holly was flying the shuttle, which was not a relaxing activity. He stepped into the kitchen and dropped his hacker bag on the counter. "Would you believe me if I told you I was saving the world from a technology master with delusions of grandeur?" he asked sarcastically.
"Does that have anything to do with the 50,000 euros that appeared in our account last night?" a deep voice came. Artemis turned in shock to face his father coming in from the living room, closely followed by Juliet. His prosthetic leg was working as well as his original.
"Oh. Father. Hello. I didn't know you were home." Artemis said faintly.
"Obviously." Artemis Senior crossed his arms. "Well, Artemis?"
Butler walked into the kitchen and stopped dead. "Master Fowl. You're back."
"Yes, we have ascertained that I have returned." Artemis Sr. said. "So what was my son doing?"
"Well, actually, he was saving the world from a technology master with delusions of grandeur." Butler said promptly. Angeline sighed.
"You practiced this, didn't you?" she accused.
Butler shook his head solemnly.
"Mother, I am very tired. Can we discuss this later?" Artemis asked. Angeline nodded shortly.
"Fine. One more question." She paused. "Who was the friend you went spelunking with?"
Artemis shrugged. "Oh, just a friend from school. You wouldn't know him."
"Really?" Angeline said. "Then who's Holly?"
"What?" Artemis said, taken aback. Surely she couldn't have seen, otherwise she wouldn't be asking these more mundane questions. They'd be more along the line of, 'What the heck's going on?!'
Juliet grinned, catching on. "Oh, that Holly. How is she? Has she forgiven you yet?" she asked smugly. Artemis closed his eyes.
"You're not helping." he hissed at her.
"Serves you right for going without me." she hissed back.
"We heard you talking to someone outside the door and we heard you say 'That's not funny, Holly.' Do you know this Holly, Juliet? Who is she?" Artemis Sr. asked curiously.
"Oh, they're old friends." Juliet grinned wider.
Before Juliet could get him into any more trouble, Artemis interrupted her. "She's a Captain on the police force that I was working with."
Angeline stared at him. "A police force you were working with?" she echoed. "That's a change. Usually they're on the other side."
"They hired me as a consultant. You know, hire a thief to catch a thief." Artemis said off-handedly.
Angeline threw up her hands in exasperation. "Fine, fine, I don't care. As long as you don't get arrested, or killed, let your father deal with you." With that statement, she stalked out of the room, and Juliet followed, still smirking.
Artemis Sr. looked down at his son. "You got 50,000 euros for two days of work? Legal work?"
"I gave them a good deal. A reduced price for frequent customers."
His father laughed, then clapped him on the back. "50,000 euros. Keep up the good work." he said, ushering him towards his room. "And remember: don't get caught."
The End
ASN: *sigh* Well, this one's all finished.
AN: And before you start freaking out, we do have another Artemis Fowl fanfic on this site, called Artemis Fowl 4.
ASN: Actually, Lessa, I think everyone who reads this one reads the other one already.
AN: *shrugs* Anyway, that one is after EC, and it's MUCH longer than this one. We already have 22 chapters posted, and we're only about halfway done. It's better written anyway.
ASN: And now, we come to the mushy stuff. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. We read each one, and we really appreciate the comments.
AN: *grin* And we really appreciate the compliments.
ASN: Kudos to all our amazing reviewers. We love you!
AN: *glares* That was my line, baka!