Hold On

Chapter 6: Loveless

Those awful, dreaded words echoed through the corners of her mind. Her eyes remained open, staring blankly at the wooden floor, as her feet nervously swayed forward and back. What happened was all her fault. Everything that happened was all her fault. She knew she shouldn't have ever come to this goddam country. She should've just stayed back in Altena and forgot about the thought of revenge. But how could she possibly ignore her own mother's death? She couldn't.

It was all too much for her to endure at one moment. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to escape it all.

She slipped on a crimson leotard and stepped outside, her bare feet sinking into the soft sand, already numb from the severe cold. All she heard was the hypnotizing melody of chirping crickets, and all she could smell was smoke from the fire they had that night. It was a chilly and dark evening, and the tight outfit she wore provided no warmth at all. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered in the cold of the desert night. Yet, all this pain was nothing compared to the pain she had previously endured.

She hoped to run far, far away. She planned to change her name, maybe even dye her hair a different color. She would settle down in the Fairy Village, Diorre. After all, she already had elven ears. There, in that isolated forest village, she would live her life, far away from all society. Maybe it was a bit of an obscure plan for life, but it seemed realistic enough to actually carry out. And at this point, she wanted to get as far away from here as she could. She felt the child within her once again, yearning to escape from all tragedy and responsibility.

Angela wandered around the wasteland, now abandoned by all the creatures and monsters that once inhabited it. She drifted about the area, with no actual destination. The farther she walked, the farther away she traveled from town, and that was good enough for her. It took well over fifteen minutes until she settled near a single palm tree. Although it appeared to be just like any other tree, it seemed somehow different; it was in its own solitude, away fromi the forest. Leaning against it, Angela began contemplating everything. Frst her mother died, and now her kingdom was almost destroyed. Worst of all, she didn't know at all where the Navarre Army hid. The desert was too large; they could be anywhere.

She didn't understand any of it, and she didn't know at all what to do. Everything was so confusing. Now, she had to admit, she wasn't respnsible enough; she wasn't ready for this.

She felt alone in the world. Even through times like these, she would have a smile on her face. She was always a carefree, spoiled, bratty princess. But not anymore, she couldn't act so childish. She couldn't hide her worries behind a smile. Everyone's expectations of her were raised so high, she couldn't reach them anymore. Now, she felt no one understood her at all, not even her best friend Victor. All he would ever say is that she looked beautiful and she was such a wonderful person. He'd pile compliments on top of her, just like any other person would do.

Then, she felt the touch of a finger sliding down her skin of her bare shoulder. She turned to see a pair of amber eyes. They glowed with the reflection of the moon, like pools of shining silver and gold. It was too dark to see the person's face clearly, but she already knew who it was. It was Hawkeye.

Angela couldn't hide it anymore. She burst into tears, as he reached out and embraced her. She held her arms tightly around him, letting the drips of water escape her eyes and fall down onto the thief's shoulder. Everything: every problem she was facing, every single emotion she was feeling; She had to let them all out.

"Everything. Everything that happened is all my fault. All the soldiers dead, all the innocent people dead, all my own people dead, everything, everyone."

"Shhh.... it's not your fault. None of it... Don't say that. Come on, Angie..."

Of all people, she had probably hurt him the most. She destroyed his kingdom, destroyed his pride, and made all the people that ever loved him, everyone of his kingdom, now hate him. All that he fought so hard to get was now ripped away all because of her, all because he chose to rescue her from that dungeon cell. And he didn't blame any of his loss on her. Nothing was her fault. He didn't hate her at all.

He gently lifted her chin up towards him, so he had a clear view of her tear-filled eyes. He played around with the two strands of lavender hair falling onto her face, showing the usual smirk upon his face. He never showed the slightest bit of worry.

"Listen, it's not as bad as you think. Remember the Mana Tree? How all hope was lost? And the lives of everything and everyone in the entire world were determined by that one battle against the Dragon Emperor? I never saw you shed a tear throughout the entire time. You could get through this just the same. Now, come on, how's about we go back to Deen? Hmm?"

Angela nodded slightly, her eyes still filled with tears. She rested her head on Hawkeye's shoulder, while he held his arm around her back. They strolled under the moonlight peacefully, with sweet, insignificant silence flowing through the air. They didn't have to speak to understand what either of them were feeling.

They were so obviously similar. Both were alone in the world, and neither cared about that, or about anything at all. They did as they pleased. Now, they just had one more rule to break.

When they finally reached the campgrounds on the outskirts of town, mages and soldiers alike were sprawled upon the sandy ground. They had no beds or rooms to sleep in during these tireless nights. The Inn was already occupied by the queen. The Oasis Village was empty once again, but now, the villagers didn't feel the fear and terror of destruction. They slept peacefully, the moon and stars being their only light through the darkness of the night.

Angela and Hawkeye made their way through, carefully stepping over and passed the resting soldiers.

Hawkeye let go out the girl. Without speaking another word, he turned around and was ready to leave, before he was stopped by the sound of her melodious voice.

"Hawkeye..."

"Hmm?" He turned back around, already aware of what the following words would imply.

"Where are you going? It's too cold to sleep outside, don't you think?" Angela asked, a devilish smirk upon her pale face. Her mood had drastically changed, hopefully for the better.

Hawkeye didn't even have to respond. As soon as he entered the inn, both Angela and him knew what they were getting themselves into. They both knew what was about to happen.

Now, the room looked nothing like an inn. There was new red wallpaper applied, and in the middle of the room stood a bed, big enough for two, with black, satin sheets. In the corner, there was a single burning candle, letting off a faded glow. The entire bedroom smelled of a sharp, yet sweet, fragrance. It was a raspberry-scented perfume, with an addition of other exotic fruits.

Angela swayed her head back to face Hawkeye, as she heard the door shut close. She was at a loss for words as the thief came dangerously close to her, but she was the one to lay the first move. She kissed him, straight on the lips, with no hesistation whatsoever. It wasn't a regular peck on the lips; it was a kiss during which both people's tongues somewhat dance - making out, so to speak. Angela smoothly removed his vest and shirt and threw it to a random corner of the room.

Angela held her hand on the back of Hawkeye's neck and guided him down onto the bed; his body over hers. They were both aware that what they were doing was wrong, and, yet, they couldn't care less.

Hawkeye, his tan back now completely bare, took his sweet time nibbling on her neck, while she just closed her eyes and absorbed the immense amount of comfort. She could feel his lips on her neck, and his hand gently riding down her body. She didn't know, or care, why they were doing this, but she didn't recoil. She gave herself to him, letting him do whatever he pleased with her extravagant body. After all, he knew exactly what he was doing.

The queen's leotard was falling loose, revealing her scarlet corset. It wasn't even a necessary accesory for her; she already had the best body in all of Altena. She wore it just to raise her self-esteem, and, of course, to keep her body in shape at all times.

They both knew they were just doing this for their own pleasure. They were just playing around with each other, attempting to discover how far they would really go. Both of them were just laying their minds off all their true worries and problems, escaping from reality for just one night. And, although they felt they never could love each other, it was still fun for them to pretend.

Behind them, the one remaining candle continued burning, letting off a faded, eerie glow. Then, there was silence, as it finally burnt out, and the room was engulfed in darkness once again.