IN MY HANDS
By the Last of the Super Rad Elite, Phantwo J Fou

A/N: Did you all see the last chapter? If you didn't, go back and read it before you read this one! Thanks to LauraCeleste heartily for her review! And if you all have the time, definitely check out her fics. They are simply top notch and some of the best on this site! If you want good Zelda fiction, she's the place to start! So read one of her stories after reading and REVIEWING this chapter! Thanks!

Chapter Seven
Navi, Welcome to Hell

I turned around.

"By Farore! In the name of all the Great Fairies in Hyrule! Raspberries!" I spat in response to the vision that I was . . . privileged . . . to behold. "Good heavens, those hands are bigger than floor masters!" That name again! Curses! "What is it?"

Navi zipped past me, leaving a trail of pale blue light in her wake, hurrying to view the pair of hands floating above the structure underneath us. Those hands, at least ten feet over my head, with fat fingers about twice as long as I was tall, took my breath away in mingled shock and revulsion. Each hand was coloured a stunningly loathsome shade of beige and caked thoroughly with mud and some unidentifiable substances, and they apparently were not attached to any kind of body. Instead they waved in the air wildly and violently without a proper target. Therefore, their swings were messy and misdirected—if they were attempting to plow me, they failed miserably. I took a step back and shuddered uncontrollably at the spectacle for a moment before I regained the reins to my own body.

Seconds later, Navi was again hovering over my shoulder. This time, however, she was visibly trembling, which disturbed me greatly, since my guardian fairy rarely trembles. She then spoke to ease my fraying nerves, but her words offered very little relief. "Um, Link, I'm loath to say this, but . . . I've some bad news."

"Bad news, eh? And what might that be?" Not that I necessarily want to hear it. . . .

She seemed to draw in a deep breath and hesitated. Her high-pitched voice wavered as she began to explain a few seconds later. "You see, Link, the Deku Tree used to tell the fairies stories about some evil monsters that guarded the temples of the Sages. A sort of fairy bedtime story, you might say. He mentioned the master of the Temple of Shadow, a particularly evil creature that was banished from the temple years ago but made a suspicious return shortly after Ganondorf appeared. They called him Bongo Bongo, and he played—"

I politely jumped backward as one of the monstrous floating hands took a swing at me.

"—he played the drum, you see, and he was a vicious fighter. He used to pick up his victims in his two giant hands and strangle them before smashing them into his drum. The stories tell of his drum being stained with the ruin of those unfortunates. And. . . ."

". . . and what?"

She tried her best to sound cheerful. "And I think that this monster you're currently dodging with so much agility is this Bongo Bongo."

Repressing an urge to explode with mirth at the creature's name but still entirely disappointed with this piece of news, I whimpered. "Please tell me you're joking."

"Sorry, but—"

I interrupted her fiercely, "Navi, I have a wonderful sense of humour. I could really appreciate a joke like that."

"My sincerest apologies, Sir Hero. Now, for the little bit of good news, this creature is supposed to have a quite vulnerable body. Suppose you look at him through the Lens of Truth? I'd wager you'd see it then."

That's the good news? I reached for the Lens submissively. "I suppose I could try that. By the way, did the Great Deku Tree name this chap, or did he name himself?"

"I haven't the faintest idea. Why?"

"That's even worse than floor master, Navi! I would have quite a difficult time believing that the omniscient deity of the Kokiri would come up with a ridiculous name like that." Placing the Lens of Truth in front of my eyes, I suddenly stumbled, caught off guard and utterly surprised at the latest revelation. "Good heavens! Navi, do you see that?"

The host of the set of hands now revealed, I took a moment to admire its awe-inspiring hideousness—an incredibly large eye embedded into a body of unrecognisable shape. Its hands were not directly attached to it, but they hovered close enough to it to reveal the connection. But Navi had told me that the body was supposed to be quite vulnerable, and nothing I saw appeared vulnerable in the slightest. I didn't hesitate to inform Navi of this minor detail.

I daresay she was not too pleased with my unintelligence. "Link, use your senses!" she fumed, her long-absent glow flickering in irritation. "You've uncovered the keys to every single locked door in the vicinity, made a bridge out of an oversized statue using simply some bomb flowers and an arrow, defeated a shadow version of yourself in that horrid temple in Lake Hylia and you can't see anything vulnerable?"

"You recognise my accomplishments," I replied thoughtfully. "That's good to know."

"You've also," she added sharply, "done your share of astonishingly stupid feats, if I may begin to list those for you as well. . . ."

My shoulders heaved with a sigh. "Ah, well. No one is per—"

A resounding crack that could have been the sound of a gigantic hand slamming into me—or it could have been my spine snapping—promptly echoed round the room without warning, and I was thrown forward at the impact. Again I disproved the theory of gravity as I sailed effortlessly, not to mention listlessly, through the air towards the edge of what I observed distantly appeared to be a drum. So we had been standing upon a drum, had we? Then yes, this was the mysterious Bongo Bongo indeed.

I fell onto my back lifelessly on the floor to the side of the incredible drum, with my ears ringing and my limbs in tremendous pain. That really hurt.

"—fect," I finished in the strongest voice I could muster.

As Navi is to be my sympathetic companion that feels my pain, naturally she broke into laughter so intense she couldn't fly steadily. I stood up rather weakly and took a wavering step forward. What horrible mirth! thought I indignantly, pointedly glaring at my fairy with as malevolent a leer as Ganondorf. One of my hands instinctively went to my back in an attempt to soothe the pain that still burned at the point of impact.

Navi continued to giggle even as I climbed back into the drum, which was vibrating violently from another one of Bongo Bongo's—for as long as I live, I shall continue to loathe the names these strange Hylians create!—powerful strikes. Although I stared at her and attempted to look malicious, she didn't stop, not even when she spoke. "That, my dear Sir Hero, was on your stupid list."

I did not reply and instead opted to search for my bow, which I had dropped upon being slapped by the Shadow Beast's hand. Navi apparently thought she'd won the battle at my silence, for she laughed harder. Patiently I sighed and started running with as much stability as I could manage on the trembling drum head toward the weapon I spotted on the far side—of course—of the drum.

Once it rested in my hands with my fingers closed around it, I allowed a new, pernicious grin to form on my lips. The fairy remained immersed in her merriment; therefore my confidence remained intact. I knocked an arrow on the bowstring, released a chuckle of my own, turned quickly and let fly the arrow.

It grazed right past Navi, disproving any theory she might have entertained that I lacked talent in the field of archery and effectively silencing her laughter. Instead, she let ring another discordant sound and screeched, "Link! You rotten son of a Hylian! What was that for, you worthless fool?"

"It offends me greatly," I told her gently with mock injury, hurrying to retrieve the arrow from whence it had lodged itself, "that you would call me a son of a Hylian. . . ."

She made another arrogant and disdainful shriek but offered no snappy response. I detached the arrow from the drum head and executed a quick and smooth spin to see the foe I had been so brazenly ignoring. Then I remembered that I needed the Lens of Truth in order to behold its full hideousness.

After remedying that problem shortly, I took the arrow and knocked it back into the bow, deciding to aim for the creature's eye. "Navi, I think I shall shoot his eye. I'll find his weakness later, I think. After all, I believe he'd be so much less harmful if he can't see me. . . ."

"Well, thank you, Captain Obvious!" she retorted curtly.

I let go of the butt of the arrow and glared at her with disgust. But the comeback on my tongue refused to come, for the sound of pain the fiend emitted from behind me startled both of us. I turned back and stumbled forward, curiosity giving way to triumph. The beast fell from the air to the drum and lay motionless. Upon its impact, the turf beneath me shuddered and throbbed.

"By Farore . . ." I started to say, then realised that I was simply wasting time by talking. Without further delay, I reached for the Master Sword and dashed over, thrusting the sacred blade into the slightly reddened eye.

Tremulously I stepped back—with the sword, thankfully—when the monster shook viciously and writhed in agony. Its great mass twitched and convulsed, then gave up its effort listlessly and fell, prostrate and unmoving. Again I slashed at its eye and jumped away; but this time, it did not even quiver for a moment.

Had I killed the master of the Shadow Temple, just like that . . . ?

Somehow I doubted the legendary Bongo Bongo was so weak, and the uneasiness building up inside my chest did not dissipate in the slightest even after almost a minute of stillness. Even Navi, whose sixth sense for danger was—to make the understatement of the century—a little weak, seemed to sense it, silently floating above the tremendous drum with a soft glow, signifying that she was nervous. I shared her anxiety.

I took a shaky step backward, drawing in a deep breath, when it happened.

One of the monstrous hands snapped up so fast that I didn't notice until it came crashing down and threw me off my feet. Within the next ten seconds, it sprang back into action and hurled itself at me. I didn't even have time to duck before it struck me head-on and launched me toward the opposite edge.

"Link!" Navi shouted—at least, I believe that's what she shouted. My hearing was so dulled at that particular moment that I couldn't tell, as my ears were ringing and I could hardly concentrate on anything but the excruciating sensation. I landed on the other side, barely short of falling off the edge. The weakness that plagued me was so much more cutting, so much more fervid than I had expected it to be. Would I have died, I wondered, if I had actually tumbled over? Before I wouldn't have even considered that merely two blows from even Bongo Bongo could break the Hero of Time, but now I was forced to think about it as I lay on my back, completely defenceless.

I attempted to lift my left arm, but the pain pinned it to the floor. I realised that I couldn't even move with what would have been a start, if only I could manage to quiver. Then a deep and overbearing fear began to overtake me.

Again . . . I was useless. Plastered there on Bongo Bongo's massive drum, helpless and unable to even stand up, I became fully and totally useless. And presently, because of my uselessness, without even a chance to defend myself, I would be executed.

By a monster with a name as laughable as Bongo Bongo.

If I had had the strength, I might have laughed at my pitiful plight . . . then I would have started to cry at my exquisitely wretched failure.

The only part of me that remained functional was my voice, and I mumbled, "Navi, when I die, would you please tell Sheik that I had a dream that he was a girl?"

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So, the ending was a little strange. I was going to continue, but I decided that that line lost all effectiveness if there was more after it. Heh. But rest assured that the next chapter should come faster than this one did. I'm sorry it took me a while, and I apologise for it being short. Oh yes, and if you recall my complaints at the rain leaving at the last note in the last chapter, you can stop feeling sad for me now. It's RAINING AGAIN! And it's supposed to rain until SATURDAY! I'm a happy Phantwo! :)

Anyway, I wanted to repay my readers for blessing me with their reviews (which, might I add, is splendid advice for any new readers!). Most of the Zelda authors who have reviewed this story have excellent fics on their sides, and so while you wait for the next installment of In My Hands, content yourself with some of their fiction. Hylian Aes Sadai has a fantastic angsty Zelda fic entitled "A Ray of Hope" that, although a bit short, is definitely worth reading. And for fans of Super Smash Brothers (and Zelda) and romance, her work in (hopefully) progress, This is No Game is also a worthy read. I've already recommended Kota Magic's fic "Still Just a Little Boy," but it's a good read as well. She's also working on a new OOT fic, Spirits of Chaos, if you'd care to read and review that for her. Lastly, as mentioned in the first note, I would definitely recommend LauraCeleste's fics, including the Affair Trilogy and "Quill and Ink" (which is unfortunately on hiatus, but a good read anyway). So, till the next chapter, then!

...this note was almost longer than the story. Wow. Now, if you would, please REVIEW!