Chapter Six
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*
People say that things don't happen overnight. Sometimes it seems like they do. This was one such case. Hermione simply woke up one morning and realized she didn't love Harry anymore. She wasn't interested in him as more than a friend, and despite her independence and the fact she was getting along quite well without them, she was realizing that she did miss her friends. She missed having someone to sit with, work with and lighten her up. Sure their friendships were shallow, but they were friendships and she did enjoy them.
Yet she was too strong to simply go up to Harry and say "I don't love you anymore. She was too proud. It didn't matter anyway, the awkwardness would not evaporate and her friendships were already extremely damaged. She would just have to continue her final year alone.
'With Snape' She thought, remembering the conversation of the previous night and smiling. 'Snape will talk to me, though no one else will. His conversations are worth ten of theirs anyway. More than that.'
*
She was wrong though, if only half wrong. Snape did talk to her, but soon everyone was talking to her. Within days of her realization of her true feelings for Harry, they spoke.
It started when Ginny and Harry started to go out. Hermione felt a small twinge of jealousy, but only in Ginny's ability to achieve what she couldn't. Immediately after a public display and an informal announcement, Harry asked to speak with Hermione in private. This shocked her, though she agreed and drifted out of the portrait hole next to him.
"I'm so sorry 'Mione, really." Harry started immediately.
"Don't worry about me you can date whomever you want," Hermione said, misunderstanding him.
"I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about us. I can't believe what a jerk I've been I never should have ditched you when everybody else did. I should have stuck by you, like you've always stuck by me when people have been shunning me. I'm ashamed of myself, and I'd understand if you never forgive me. Though I hope you do, because I miss you 'Mione." He said, all in one breath, clearly not very comfortable with his words though clearly honest. Confusion filled Hermione. What did he mean when he said that the other ditched her first. Wasn't her behind it all? Though that wasn't even the point, he was probably lying. She couldn't trust him anymore anyway. She could never forgive him and part of her wanted to scream this at him, but she didn't care. She didn't trust him; she didn't care if he knew how she felt. She just wanted somebody to be with all day. Even if their relationship was shallow and untrusting she didn't care. "It's okay Harry. I understand. Now let's go back inside." She said simply, strangely lacking tone. They did go inside, and Hermione expected everybody to talk to her, possibly even apologize. Instead they didn't but they also looked at Harry strangely. Only Ginny didn't look strangely Harry, and the others looked at her strangely for not looking strangely at him. Soon it was time for Hermione to meet Snape. She escaped unnoticed, as Harry and Ginny were making out and nobody else cared.
*
When Hermione came back to the common room she was significantly cheered from her discussion with Snape. They had forgone all work and instead sat in his office discussing great muggle literature. She spoke of Wuthering Heights and its complex relationships that spanned two generations. He spoke of Shakespeare and his opinion of magic, and witches demonstrated in Macbeth. They spoke together, examining the truths held in these pieces as well as others. Hermione had never had such a stimulating discussion in all her life, excepting previous talks with Snape.
The common room, when she entered it, was empty. She thought it was until she passed one of the armchairs and it talked to her.
"Where have you been?" The voice asked, which she identified as Harry.
"I'm Snape's assistant this year. We meet every night." She said simply, still not pleased with him.
"What until this late?" Harry asked.
"Yes." Harry was ruining her mood, and she was not willing to let it down that quickly. She didn't want to resort to her bath bubbles to regain the feeling Snape instilled in her.
"Oh." Harry said, not wanting to fight. "What do you do?" He added, really trying to be interested, to rebuild their friendship.
"Almost always doing, and talking about potions. Though today in particular we decided to skip the work, we discussed muggle literature in fact." She said, brightening significantly. Harry raised his eyebrows.
"So this is what you've been doing since school started."
"Yes, it wouldn't have been hard for you to notice!"
"No. Yes. I am angry with myself for trusting you, for expecting you to not turn around and turn everyone against me, however you did it. I am angry at myself for actually believing our classmates were my friends, not just yours and mine by extension," She spoke. 'Damn the night,' She thought. She had always been susceptible to total honestly if it was dark and quiet.
"I.I'm sorry. I didn't turn anyone against you though." She'd forgotten he was lying about that.
"Right, then why did everyone else suddenly stop talking to me, when I told you I-" Hermione stopped, nearly blushing.
"When you told me what?" Harry said innocently, and Hermione's mouth dropped open.
"You're kidding right? Well that's not funny! Really, it's kind of mean!"
"'Mione," Harry said gently. "Don't be mad, I really have no clue what you're talking about." Hermione sucked in a breath.
"When I told you I was in love with you!"
"Wh-What?" Both faces expressed deepest confusion and hope.
"The letter, this summer, I told you. I said I was in love with you."
"I never got this letter. 'Mione, you love me?"
"I told you I did. You replied, you did. You told me you didn't feel the samee way about me. Don't do this please."
"'Mione," Harry started coming forward, cupping her face. "I love you. Why did you stop talking to me if you love me, and for the last time I never got any letter." There was total silence. Harry spoke again, "Hermione, I love you. Do you love me?"
"I-I don't know. I just. Harry." She smiled, "Harry. I loved you more than anything. I will never be over you. But, you, you turned everyone against me. You ignored me. You never responded irrationally to my letter. I-"
"Stop! I did neither. Please, I turned no one against you. I did abandon you, but you ignored me first. Lame, I know, but you started it. For the last time, I don't know what letter you are talking about!" *
*
A.N. Hi. More. Finally getting somewhere. Reviews please, I want to know what you think.
*
People say that things don't happen overnight. Sometimes it seems like they do. This was one such case. Hermione simply woke up one morning and realized she didn't love Harry anymore. She wasn't interested in him as more than a friend, and despite her independence and the fact she was getting along quite well without them, she was realizing that she did miss her friends. She missed having someone to sit with, work with and lighten her up. Sure their friendships were shallow, but they were friendships and she did enjoy them.
Yet she was too strong to simply go up to Harry and say "I don't love you anymore. She was too proud. It didn't matter anyway, the awkwardness would not evaporate and her friendships were already extremely damaged. She would just have to continue her final year alone.
'With Snape' She thought, remembering the conversation of the previous night and smiling. 'Snape will talk to me, though no one else will. His conversations are worth ten of theirs anyway. More than that.'
*
She was wrong though, if only half wrong. Snape did talk to her, but soon everyone was talking to her. Within days of her realization of her true feelings for Harry, they spoke.
It started when Ginny and Harry started to go out. Hermione felt a small twinge of jealousy, but only in Ginny's ability to achieve what she couldn't. Immediately after a public display and an informal announcement, Harry asked to speak with Hermione in private. This shocked her, though she agreed and drifted out of the portrait hole next to him.
"I'm so sorry 'Mione, really." Harry started immediately.
"Don't worry about me you can date whomever you want," Hermione said, misunderstanding him.
"I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about us. I can't believe what a jerk I've been I never should have ditched you when everybody else did. I should have stuck by you, like you've always stuck by me when people have been shunning me. I'm ashamed of myself, and I'd understand if you never forgive me. Though I hope you do, because I miss you 'Mione." He said, all in one breath, clearly not very comfortable with his words though clearly honest. Confusion filled Hermione. What did he mean when he said that the other ditched her first. Wasn't her behind it all? Though that wasn't even the point, he was probably lying. She couldn't trust him anymore anyway. She could never forgive him and part of her wanted to scream this at him, but she didn't care. She didn't trust him; she didn't care if he knew how she felt. She just wanted somebody to be with all day. Even if their relationship was shallow and untrusting she didn't care. "It's okay Harry. I understand. Now let's go back inside." She said simply, strangely lacking tone. They did go inside, and Hermione expected everybody to talk to her, possibly even apologize. Instead they didn't but they also looked at Harry strangely. Only Ginny didn't look strangely Harry, and the others looked at her strangely for not looking strangely at him. Soon it was time for Hermione to meet Snape. She escaped unnoticed, as Harry and Ginny were making out and nobody else cared.
*
When Hermione came back to the common room she was significantly cheered from her discussion with Snape. They had forgone all work and instead sat in his office discussing great muggle literature. She spoke of Wuthering Heights and its complex relationships that spanned two generations. He spoke of Shakespeare and his opinion of magic, and witches demonstrated in Macbeth. They spoke together, examining the truths held in these pieces as well as others. Hermione had never had such a stimulating discussion in all her life, excepting previous talks with Snape.
The common room, when she entered it, was empty. She thought it was until she passed one of the armchairs and it talked to her.
"Where have you been?" The voice asked, which she identified as Harry.
"I'm Snape's assistant this year. We meet every night." She said simply, still not pleased with him.
"What until this late?" Harry asked.
"Yes." Harry was ruining her mood, and she was not willing to let it down that quickly. She didn't want to resort to her bath bubbles to regain the feeling Snape instilled in her.
"Oh." Harry said, not wanting to fight. "What do you do?" He added, really trying to be interested, to rebuild their friendship.
"Almost always doing, and talking about potions. Though today in particular we decided to skip the work, we discussed muggle literature in fact." She said, brightening significantly. Harry raised his eyebrows.
"So this is what you've been doing since school started."
"Yes, it wouldn't have been hard for you to notice!"
"No. Yes. I am angry with myself for trusting you, for expecting you to not turn around and turn everyone against me, however you did it. I am angry at myself for actually believing our classmates were my friends, not just yours and mine by extension," She spoke. 'Damn the night,' She thought. She had always been susceptible to total honestly if it was dark and quiet.
"I.I'm sorry. I didn't turn anyone against you though." She'd forgotten he was lying about that.
"Right, then why did everyone else suddenly stop talking to me, when I told you I-" Hermione stopped, nearly blushing.
"When you told me what?" Harry said innocently, and Hermione's mouth dropped open.
"You're kidding right? Well that's not funny! Really, it's kind of mean!"
"'Mione," Harry said gently. "Don't be mad, I really have no clue what you're talking about." Hermione sucked in a breath.
"When I told you I was in love with you!"
"Wh-What?" Both faces expressed deepest confusion and hope.
"The letter, this summer, I told you. I said I was in love with you."
"I never got this letter. 'Mione, you love me?"
"I told you I did. You replied, you did. You told me you didn't feel the samee way about me. Don't do this please."
"'Mione," Harry started coming forward, cupping her face. "I love you. Why did you stop talking to me if you love me, and for the last time I never got any letter." There was total silence. Harry spoke again, "Hermione, I love you. Do you love me?"
"I-I don't know. I just. Harry." She smiled, "Harry. I loved you more than anything. I will never be over you. But, you, you turned everyone against me. You ignored me. You never responded irrationally to my letter. I-"
"Stop! I did neither. Please, I turned no one against you. I did abandon you, but you ignored me first. Lame, I know, but you started it. For the last time, I don't know what letter you are talking about!" *
*
A.N. Hi. More. Finally getting somewhere. Reviews please, I want to know what you think.