Chapter Twelve
*
* Hermione and Harry made it back to the Granger home just fine, and met the next morning late with a headache on Hermione's part. Her father didn't even notice. The next day was spent preparing for the funeral that afternoon. They had been very quick in arranging it, and were more than ready by the time it came. All of Mrs. Granger's friends and family were close by, which added to the pain due to all of their close relationship with her.
After the funeral, Mr. Granger questioned Hermione on her school life, trying to work on some sort of relationship. Hermione answered the questions with some animation, but mostly she missed her mother to truly discuss such things with, and she knew the thought of magic pained her father, she could see it on his face.
Harry and Hermione returned to Hogwarts that evening, by Hermione request. They joined dinner in the Great Hall. Hermione's classmates were their usual selves around her, and she was grateful for it. They mostly left her alone, talking with one another, as usual. A few people did say they were sorry to hear of her mother, and she was thankful for their sympathy. She was really devastated.
After dinner, as usual she soon made her way down to the dungeons, and into Snape's classroom, and soon to his office. She knocked.
"Come in," His voice called, a snarl and a question underlying what seemed to be an emotionless voice if on paid little attention. Hermione paid a lot of attention. 'He's not expecting me' She thought, and entered.
"Miss Granger! I wasn't expecting you today. You can go back to your dormitory if you like," He said, his tone changing throughout, as he was unsure of what was appropriate.
"No, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay. I don't have much to do, and I would like to.I would like to keep to my routine."
"Very well. I have nothing planned though, so I'm sure you wouldn't mind just talking today?" He asked. He admitted to himself he was hopeful. He received a nod and she sat down.
They began first discussing potions, awkwardly, and soon everything with ease. That is they discussed everything freely, normally, enjoyably, except for one topic. Finally Snape decide to bring up the topic on his mind, even though it was not his place.
"I'm sorry Miss. Granger, I haven't told you how sorry I am to hear about your mother. I understand you two were very close." Hermione said nothing, so he continued. "I can't imagine how you must feel. I've never been in such a position. To lose a parent, a true one. My parents were never that to me." Still she said nothing, so he continued. "I have lost someone I loved though. That was the hardest thing that I have ever been through. I won't lie to you; I'm not over it today. I still can't compare it to losing a parent," Snape was settling in to talking when he was interrupted.
"Tell me," Hermione said. "Tell me about your love. If that's okay," She added hastily. It was over certain boundaries, but if they were both willing to cross them.
"She was. Wonderful. I was in my seventh year. She was.not. We met. I saw her first. I took an interest in her first I mean. To her I was just another boy. Just another slytherin. To me she was someone special. I remember nothing of her but our conversations. That is, I remember he looks and her actions, but they are meaningless. It was in the way we spoke. We got to a point where we spent every possible moment together. If we met in the halls I would be late for class. We never stopped talking unless positively forced. We could talk for hours without realizing it. We would meet for lunch and the sun would have long since set before we would separate. And the content. It was as if she was a part of my mind I couldn't reach myself. Our thoughts and words flowed together, never was there a pause in conversation. Some say comfortable silence is a sign of love, but I don't buy it. We never had silence, though every word was comfortable. We started out as just friends, but soon I wanted to hold her. Every minute I spent with her I could feel myself drawn to her, to wrap my arms around her. I no longer need to talk all the time with her, if I could just be near her. Finally I did, I hugged her. I.kissed her. That was the beginning of our romantic relationship, which was short lived. It was just before the rise of Voldemort, and many would assume she was murdered but she wasn't. I wish I could have somewhere so concrete to direct my anger. God is such an intangible thing to blame, but blame him I did. I cursed God, Gods, fate and nature for what happened to her. She drove off a bridge. Such a muggle way to die. In the snow. She didn't even die instantly, she froze to death, bleeding. I was alone. And how alone. I had no friends; she was the only one I ever talked to anymore. This wasn't only by choice, I have no delusions of having ever been popular, but I didn't even need anyone when I had her. I wish I could really get across how much she meant to me, but I never can there are not words. So I'll just tell you now, I have never gotten over her death. It is what turned me to the dark lord; it is what made me who I am today. I miss her."
Snape stopped talking. He had been more honest than he had ever been with anyone since his love herself. He was relieved, though worried he had revealed too much sensitivity. He looked at her. Hermione was taken in by the sound of the voice and the beauty of his narrative. She was moved by his speech, she was left speechless. The love, and the pain this man had felt left a hole in her. The love he had described made her think. She needed such a friend, though sometimes she felt that way with the man in front of her. Their conversations would go late, and they would speak of all things. Yet she had gotten the feeling that the feeling wasn't mutual. She felt an ache in her chest at this thought.
"Miss Granger? Would you like me to continue talking?" He asked, unsure how his story had affected her. Hermione ignored his question but responded to his speech.
"You've never felt this way again? I was always hoping that there would be more than one person for everyone in the world. I hoped we'd be able to find love more than once."
"Me too, Miss Granger. I admit, I have enjoyed some of the same conversations, but only one person had managed the illusion of our brains working as one," Snape said hesitation, not sure whether he should have shared that last bit of information.
"Anyone I know?" She asked teasingly, surprised at herself, at her own changing of mood.
"As a matter of fact yes. I really don't see how this is relevant," He said, not angrily though he berated himself. 'Now you've done it, she wants to know who!'
"I'd like to know who.but I understand if you don't want to tell me," Hermione said slowly, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but really wanting to know.
"There's no reason for me not to tell you. It is you whose conversation I have enjoyed," He said. It was quite a bit like jumping off a diving board. As soon as he decided to go for it, there was no turning back. He just had to do it. He even felt a bit light headed, with butterflies in his stomach, as if he was in free fall.
"I know what you mean professor. Just look at the time," She said and smiled. He had to twist his neck rather uncomfortably so that he could see the clock. He almost wished he hadn't since it was nearly 2:00 AM. They had talked so much earlier. Hermione didn't want to leave, and Snape didn't want her to.
"I see what you mean. Please, call me Severus," He said, though the last part was rather tentative.
"Okay, Severus. You have to call me Hermione though," She said, feeling so very happy.
"Gladly. I I'll walk you back to your tower though. I don't want you to get attacked by some wandering cat."
The walk was easy and filled with light conversation. Both felt such sadness when they reached the portrait. Hermione said the password and opened it. The portrait opened in a way so that the fat lady couldn't see the pair. Not that either one consciously registered that when they hugged tightly. Hermione felt she wanted to hug him forever. She loved him, she knew. It seemed to fast but she was sure that this was love. Severus held her too him chest and smiled and frowned at the same time. He was in love again. He had never thought it possible. He was in trouble and he knew it. He was happier than he had been in a long time. *
*
A.N. SEVERUS! I hope this made you all happy, I can imagine you must be dying for some snape, and I couldn't keep you waiting any longer! I thought I'd give you triple the length since I've been gone for so many days. Snape! I'm happy, they have some sort of relationship. They both admit to being in love. This is getting exciting!
By the way, to make more sense, the point of that screwed up paragraph was that you could still read what I said. The order of the letters didn't matter for reading, since you read the word as a whole. We no longer sound things out letter by letter as we teach children to.
And I did have a great long weekend, full of shopping and reading.and sleeping.
* Hermione and Harry made it back to the Granger home just fine, and met the next morning late with a headache on Hermione's part. Her father didn't even notice. The next day was spent preparing for the funeral that afternoon. They had been very quick in arranging it, and were more than ready by the time it came. All of Mrs. Granger's friends and family were close by, which added to the pain due to all of their close relationship with her.
After the funeral, Mr. Granger questioned Hermione on her school life, trying to work on some sort of relationship. Hermione answered the questions with some animation, but mostly she missed her mother to truly discuss such things with, and she knew the thought of magic pained her father, she could see it on his face.
Harry and Hermione returned to Hogwarts that evening, by Hermione request. They joined dinner in the Great Hall. Hermione's classmates were their usual selves around her, and she was grateful for it. They mostly left her alone, talking with one another, as usual. A few people did say they were sorry to hear of her mother, and she was thankful for their sympathy. She was really devastated.
After dinner, as usual she soon made her way down to the dungeons, and into Snape's classroom, and soon to his office. She knocked.
"Come in," His voice called, a snarl and a question underlying what seemed to be an emotionless voice if on paid little attention. Hermione paid a lot of attention. 'He's not expecting me' She thought, and entered.
"Miss Granger! I wasn't expecting you today. You can go back to your dormitory if you like," He said, his tone changing throughout, as he was unsure of what was appropriate.
"No, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay. I don't have much to do, and I would like to.I would like to keep to my routine."
"Very well. I have nothing planned though, so I'm sure you wouldn't mind just talking today?" He asked. He admitted to himself he was hopeful. He received a nod and she sat down.
They began first discussing potions, awkwardly, and soon everything with ease. That is they discussed everything freely, normally, enjoyably, except for one topic. Finally Snape decide to bring up the topic on his mind, even though it was not his place.
"I'm sorry Miss. Granger, I haven't told you how sorry I am to hear about your mother. I understand you two were very close." Hermione said nothing, so he continued. "I can't imagine how you must feel. I've never been in such a position. To lose a parent, a true one. My parents were never that to me." Still she said nothing, so he continued. "I have lost someone I loved though. That was the hardest thing that I have ever been through. I won't lie to you; I'm not over it today. I still can't compare it to losing a parent," Snape was settling in to talking when he was interrupted.
"Tell me," Hermione said. "Tell me about your love. If that's okay," She added hastily. It was over certain boundaries, but if they were both willing to cross them.
"She was. Wonderful. I was in my seventh year. She was.not. We met. I saw her first. I took an interest in her first I mean. To her I was just another boy. Just another slytherin. To me she was someone special. I remember nothing of her but our conversations. That is, I remember he looks and her actions, but they are meaningless. It was in the way we spoke. We got to a point where we spent every possible moment together. If we met in the halls I would be late for class. We never stopped talking unless positively forced. We could talk for hours without realizing it. We would meet for lunch and the sun would have long since set before we would separate. And the content. It was as if she was a part of my mind I couldn't reach myself. Our thoughts and words flowed together, never was there a pause in conversation. Some say comfortable silence is a sign of love, but I don't buy it. We never had silence, though every word was comfortable. We started out as just friends, but soon I wanted to hold her. Every minute I spent with her I could feel myself drawn to her, to wrap my arms around her. I no longer need to talk all the time with her, if I could just be near her. Finally I did, I hugged her. I.kissed her. That was the beginning of our romantic relationship, which was short lived. It was just before the rise of Voldemort, and many would assume she was murdered but she wasn't. I wish I could have somewhere so concrete to direct my anger. God is such an intangible thing to blame, but blame him I did. I cursed God, Gods, fate and nature for what happened to her. She drove off a bridge. Such a muggle way to die. In the snow. She didn't even die instantly, she froze to death, bleeding. I was alone. And how alone. I had no friends; she was the only one I ever talked to anymore. This wasn't only by choice, I have no delusions of having ever been popular, but I didn't even need anyone when I had her. I wish I could really get across how much she meant to me, but I never can there are not words. So I'll just tell you now, I have never gotten over her death. It is what turned me to the dark lord; it is what made me who I am today. I miss her."
Snape stopped talking. He had been more honest than he had ever been with anyone since his love herself. He was relieved, though worried he had revealed too much sensitivity. He looked at her. Hermione was taken in by the sound of the voice and the beauty of his narrative. She was moved by his speech, she was left speechless. The love, and the pain this man had felt left a hole in her. The love he had described made her think. She needed such a friend, though sometimes she felt that way with the man in front of her. Their conversations would go late, and they would speak of all things. Yet she had gotten the feeling that the feeling wasn't mutual. She felt an ache in her chest at this thought.
"Miss Granger? Would you like me to continue talking?" He asked, unsure how his story had affected her. Hermione ignored his question but responded to his speech.
"You've never felt this way again? I was always hoping that there would be more than one person for everyone in the world. I hoped we'd be able to find love more than once."
"Me too, Miss Granger. I admit, I have enjoyed some of the same conversations, but only one person had managed the illusion of our brains working as one," Snape said hesitation, not sure whether he should have shared that last bit of information.
"Anyone I know?" She asked teasingly, surprised at herself, at her own changing of mood.
"As a matter of fact yes. I really don't see how this is relevant," He said, not angrily though he berated himself. 'Now you've done it, she wants to know who!'
"I'd like to know who.but I understand if you don't want to tell me," Hermione said slowly, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but really wanting to know.
"There's no reason for me not to tell you. It is you whose conversation I have enjoyed," He said. It was quite a bit like jumping off a diving board. As soon as he decided to go for it, there was no turning back. He just had to do it. He even felt a bit light headed, with butterflies in his stomach, as if he was in free fall.
"I know what you mean professor. Just look at the time," She said and smiled. He had to twist his neck rather uncomfortably so that he could see the clock. He almost wished he hadn't since it was nearly 2:00 AM. They had talked so much earlier. Hermione didn't want to leave, and Snape didn't want her to.
"I see what you mean. Please, call me Severus," He said, though the last part was rather tentative.
"Okay, Severus. You have to call me Hermione though," She said, feeling so very happy.
"Gladly. I I'll walk you back to your tower though. I don't want you to get attacked by some wandering cat."
The walk was easy and filled with light conversation. Both felt such sadness when they reached the portrait. Hermione said the password and opened it. The portrait opened in a way so that the fat lady couldn't see the pair. Not that either one consciously registered that when they hugged tightly. Hermione felt she wanted to hug him forever. She loved him, she knew. It seemed to fast but she was sure that this was love. Severus held her too him chest and smiled and frowned at the same time. He was in love again. He had never thought it possible. He was in trouble and he knew it. He was happier than he had been in a long time. *
*
A.N. SEVERUS! I hope this made you all happy, I can imagine you must be dying for some snape, and I couldn't keep you waiting any longer! I thought I'd give you triple the length since I've been gone for so many days. Snape! I'm happy, they have some sort of relationship. They both admit to being in love. This is getting exciting!
By the way, to make more sense, the point of that screwed up paragraph was that you could still read what I said. The order of the letters didn't matter for reading, since you read the word as a whole. We no longer sound things out letter by letter as we teach children to.
And I did have a great long weekend, full of shopping and reading.and sleeping.