Soun and Genma were standing in the kitchen, trying to fix the water heater
when Kasumi came in with the mail.
"Here, Uncle Genma. You have a letter from the Hall of Records," Kasumi said as she put the large formal looking envelope next to Genma's hands.
Genma put the pipe that was in his hands down and opened the missive. As he read, his eyes widened and his mouth opened wide.
"Oh joyous day! I'm so proud of my son!" Genma shouted as he started to dance a little jig.
"What is it, Saotome?"
"Ranma. He did it! He got married!"
"Married?"
"Yes! Look!"
Soun took the letter from Genma's hands and read. "Hmm. It says, 'Mr. Saotome, Congratulations on your son's recent marriage! This is an important step in being a responsible member of your community. Blah, blah, blah.' It looks like a form letter to me. Let me see what else it says." A few moments later he spoke again; "I can't believe this. It says, 'We regret that we cannot find any records of the marriage, as they were probably destroyed when a gas main exploded beneath our previous office. Thankfully the tax department forwarded some basic information on your son's status change so we can start rebuilding our records. If you and the father of the bride could please come down to our new office, we can issue a formal marriage certificate for them.'"
Soun broke out in a huge smile and tears were forming in his eyes. Genma saw the emotion building in his friend's face and gently took the paper from his hands, making sure it was safe from any mishaps.
Tears began to pour from Soun's eyes as he said, "Ranma married my baby girl! This is such a wonderful day!"
Genma started to start his celebration anew when he looked at the letter again. Something bothered him, something was missing, as he scoured the letter, he noticed what was wrong. He grabbed Tendo's shoulders and shook the man as he shouted.
"Tendo! Who did Ranma marry?"
Soun stopped crying and looked at the bald man in front of him. "Oh, Akane, of course!"
"You sure of that?"
"Of course, I read the letter."
"The letter doesn't say who Ranma married."
"It doesn't?"
"No. Look for yourself," Genma said as he handed the paper back to Soun.
Soun "hmm'ed" and "ahh'ed" as he read the letter once again. After a moment, he agreed, "It appears you are correct."
"First, we must perform our parental duties, and sign the wedding papers. Then we must find who he married and arrange a proper ceremony and reception! It looks like its time for..."
The elder men looked at each other and with happy grins, they both yelled, "Operation Another Happy Day!"
"Ranma, my boy! You tried to keep it a secret! We knew you would honor the agreement! I am so proud of you! Congratulations!"
"Well, son!" Soun started crying, "I can call him 'son'!" What started with just a few tears quickly turned into a torrent.
Ranma blinked and looked at the two inebriated fathers with a suspicious eye. After going, "huh," he found himself being led into the dojo, where he saw a table, several pillows on the floor, and three cups plus a few large bottles of sake sitting on the table, and in the corner was a box with what looked like to be many empty bottles of sake. It was just too obvious that the two fathers were up to something; being called 'son' by Soun set off warning alarms in Ranma's mind.
Knowing that he had to follow his father's lead, Ranma sat on a pillow and held out his cup for his father to fill. Once his cup was filled, the two fathers looked at each other and shouted "Cheers!" and took their first sip. Ranma, however, sat there with his cup in his hand, staring at his father.
"Drink up, boy! You're a man now!" shouted an exuberant Genma.
Ranma looked at the cup and took a very small sip. The vile liquid dried his tongue and evaporated in his mouth before he could swallow. Ranma silently thanked Akane for cooking for him; if it weren't for her food, he would not have been able to keep a straight face when the sake touched his lips.
Soun, having his first cup of sake in him, had settled down and composed himself. After having Genma refill his cup, and refilling Genma's", he addressed boy sitting next to him.
"Now, Ranma," Soun said with a serious intonation, "we have made a discovery today that made us very proud. We won't ask your reasons why, but we must know, you understand, who you married."
Ranma tried to figure out how the concept of marriage popped his host's mind. He and Nabiki were close friends, and were growing to something more than friends, but neither of them was ready to get married. Thanks to the little business the two of them had, discussions and issues about finances were minimized. In fact, Ranma couldn't think of when he and Nabiki ever really discussed marriage beyond the engagement. "Married?" Ranma calmly said, "I ain't married."
"Ranma, son, our," Genma paused and pressed his glasses back up his nose before continuing, "your future depends on who you married. And we are here to help you with your future. Trust us. We have your best interests at heart.
"So, tell us, who did you marry?"
Ranma put his still-full cup down and readied himself. His father was being pushy again, and that meant that a fight was going to start brewing. He rejected his father's claim, "I ain't married, Pops. I don't know what you guys have been drinkin', but I ain't married."
"Oh, come now. Don't be shy. We know you couldn't wait and married Akane. We can see it in her eyes!"
Ranma struggled to keep from lashing out at his father as he backed up from the sake bottle and yelled, "I didn't marry Akane! Get off it, Pops!"
Genma started to shout something about having proof that Ranma was married when Ranma heard Kasumi's voice call for him through the open dojo door. "Oh, god, Kasumi," he thought, "you are a life saver!"
Ranma stood up and started to back away from the table, excusing himself with, "Sorry, Pops! Kasumi's callin' me!"
Ranma didn't bother to see the reaction of the two old men as he happily dashed to the house from where Kasumi called him.
Back in the dojo, Soun's eyebrows arched to a strange position as he watched Ranma leave. Ranma's sudden exit was not planned for, and it was because Kasumi had called him. But why would Kasumi call him? Maybe it was because she needed his help with something, perhaps she was trying a new recipe and she wanted him to taste it. Nah, that couldn't be it, she's too good to need his help. But he has been spending a lot of time with her.
Soun's thought process took just about a second before he muttered, "What she wanted."
"Who wanted?" asked Genma, who was angry with Ranma leaving without telling who he was married to.
"Kasumi," Soun said, "Kasumi's married to Ranma!" Old-man Tendo finally put the pieces together. "Kasumi and Ranma are married! That's why Ranma runs home after school everyday! It's the only time they can be together alone!"
Without regard to his friend, Soun, deliriously happy, ran to the house and straight to the kitchen where he was sure to find the blissful newlyweds. "Oh, how wonderful" he thought, "she found someone to take care of, and better yet, she never has to leave!"
As Soun turned into the kitchen he saw Kasumi hesitantly pull away from Ranma, retracting her hands from his face. Soun's last near-coherent thought before starting to cry was, "Oh, my! They just kissed!"
As the tears started to pour down his cheeks, he spoke to his daughter and new son, "I'm so happy for the two of you!" After wiping his nose, he continued, "Ranma, son! I should have known that it would have taken a wonderful person like Kasumi to win you over!"
The younger occupants of the room stared at the old man and watched Genma arrive.
"That's what I was tryin' to tell ya, Kasumi. They somehow seem ta think that I'm married. First Akane, now it's you," Ranma said as he wiped his face dry with his sleeve.
Kasumi wiped her hands on her apron and watched her father with concern and disappointment in her voice, "Oh, my. You seem to be right. Well, don't worry. I'm sure you'll be happy with whoever the lucky girl is."
Ranma gently touched Kasumi's hand, and said quietly, "Those idiots think we're married to each other."
Kasumi's voice reflected happiness again, "Oh. That's good," she said.
Ranma blinked at Kasumi's comment and sudden happiness. When Soun started blabbering again and as his father was about to give Kasumi a congratulatory hug, Ranma protested again with a little anger in his voice, "I ain't married. And I am not married to Kasumi!"
The sole female in the room looked at Ranma with a hurt look on her face. "Ranma," she simply said.
Ranma did not miss the feelings Kasumi layered in the statement as he started to panic. Expectedly, he said the first thing that came to his mind, "No, no, no! Don't get upset!" Ranma started to hold Kasumi's hands, "I'd marry ya if I weren't engaged to half a dozen other girls! Really!"
Kasumi smiled at Ranma, his careless comment was exactly she needed. After giving Ranma a playful wink, she effortlessly sidestepped Genma's clumsy attempt at giving a hug and walked to her bawling father. Putting her arms around his shoulders, she led him to the sink where the tears swirled down the drain.
Still holding him up, she tried to calm her father, "Please calm down. Ranma and I aren't married."
As she quietly talked to him, she heard a soft thump behind her. Turning around, she saw Ranma's foot in his father's face. Stifling a smile, she continued her quiet talk with her father.
"But I saw the two of you kissing when I came in," Soun said as he tried to stop crying.
The thought of she and Ranma kissing made her blush slightly, but she kept control of herself. "No," she said, "Ranma had something in his eye and I was looking to see if I could help him. Nothing happened, Father."
"Well, in that case," Soun's eyes miraculously dried up, "I guess I still have a mystery to solve."
Kasumi watched Soun look at the walls for a moment before slightly nodding his head as he mumbled, "I'm sorry for making such a wrong assumption."
Happily, Kasumi let her father know that nothing was harmed, "It's all right, Father. Things turned out well, didn't it?"
"Yes." Soun turned around and staggered out of the kitchen, indicating to Genma to follow him outside.
When the fathers were out of the room, Kasumi looked at Ranma, wondering what was to happen next. Ranma's comment about marrying her was amusing; her experience with Ranma was such that she felt that if she pressed the issue, he'd honor what he'd just said.
Ranma's voice interrupted the silence, and it was obvious that he was asking the same questions, "So, uh, Kasumi, are we engaged?"
Kasumi wasn't sure what Ranma was thinking, so she played it safe. She touched Ranmas' hand and slid her arm under his. Arm in arm, the two of them leaned against the stove. Holding her voice steady, but friendly, she said, "No, Ranma, we're not."
Kasumi saw the telltale signs of nervousness disappear in Ranma. He was light on his feet and his hands look as if they were ready to strike quickly, and now he's relaxed with both feet still and steady on the ground. His voice proved his emotional state by asking "you're not upset, are ya?"
Kasumi couldn't help but smile; Ranma was possibly the most insecure and socially inept person she knew, but he did care about his friends and family. For the first three or so months he was at the Tendo's, Ranma was self centered and rude. The efforts that she and her sisters have been putting forth in training him had wrought some interesting changes. The question that Ranma just asked was one such change; he had learned how to be genuinely concerned about the feelings of Kasumi, Nabiki, and to a lesser extent, Akane.
"Kasumi?" Ranma interrupted her train of thought.
"I'm all right, Ranma. I was just trying to think why they would think we were married."
"What?" came Nabiki's voice from the kitchen entrance. Her voice had a cold tone to it.
"Father and Uncle Genma seemed to think that Ranma was married to one of us already."
"Ranma..."
"I ain't married!"
"Good." Nabiki had the start of a small smile cross her face as she entered the kitchen. As she started looking in the refrigerator, she asked what happened and Ranma began his tale with his return from school and being cornered by the old men and the sake in the dojo and continued through the events in the kitchen. Occasionally Nabiki would ask for clarification, but she kept quiet through Ranma's story while she munched on the apple she found.
At the end, Nabiki was worried about the assumption the fathers made. They would not think that Ranma was married unless something or someone told them Ranma was married.
"Ranma," she asked, "have you seen anything that would give them think you were married?"
"Nope. As soon as I got home they dragged me into the dojo."
"Ranma, why don't you go there and see if you can find something while Kasumi and I look around here for clues."
Ranma was disappointed that Nabiki didn't have a solution for the current predicament. Glumly, he muttered, "Yeah, I guess so."
***
As Ranma entered the dojo he saw Akane standing by the table that the fathers had set up. She was quivering as she held a piece of paper in her hands.
"Who, just tell me, who did you marry?!"
"I didn't marry nobody!"
"Then what is this all about!" Akane shoved the paper in Ranma's chest before sitting on the floor with a loud "thump."
Ranma started read the letter aloud, and when he reached the part about being married he stopped in silence.
"It's gotta be a joke."
"Nope. Look at the address and the seal on the bottom. It's real."
"It can't be right. No way. I am not married. Maybe it went to the wrong place." Ranma looked at the letter again. "Yeah, that's it. Saotome is a common name. It should have gone to some other guy!"
Akane looked suspiciously at Ranma and stood up. Grabbing her school bags, she walked out the dojo door, indicating to Ranma that he was to follow her.
Akane found her sisters finishing off the last of a plate of cookies in the tearoom. Off in the corner she saw the two fathers snoring.
"Akane, you didn't announce yourself when you came in," Kasumi chided her youngest sister.
"Sorry. Something was on my mind. Here, look at this." Akane tore the letter from Ranma's hand and gave it to Kasumi.
Kasumi started reading the paper and let lose a quiet, "oh, my" before handing the letter to Nabiki.
"Well," Nabiki commented as she finished reading the letter and placed it on the table, "that explains everything." Nabiki squinted her eyes as if she was trying to stave off a headache before she muttered, "This could be a problem."
Akane watched Nabiki's face harden in frustration. "Perhaps there was a clue in the letter that she missed," Akane thought, so she picked up the letter and read it again.
She studiously followed each section, often voicing parts aloud as if to engrave details into her brain. Suddenly she blurted, "Tax department? What tax department?"
Nabiki stopped rubbing the bridge of her nose and looked at Akane. "What did you say?"
"Here," Akane handed the paper to Nabiki and indicated the part about a notification from the tax department to the civil service records desk of the new marriage.
Nabiki looked at the letter again and went white. She asked if anyone knew the day that the Hall burned down. Akane thought it was about three weeks ago. Eyes wide open and as panic settled on Nabiki's face, she quickly went to her desk and checked the bankbooks she held for her and Ranma. A quick scan of her book showed a zero balance and a close note. Her hands shaking, she looked at Ranma's book, and it said "Ranma and Nabiki Saotome" with a large opening balance that represented the total of what should have been two separate accounts.
The room went into a spin and then started to darken.
Nabiki quickly grabbed the side of the desk and took a deep breath of air. She tried to remember what she learned in school. Aside from the religious and social functions that one goes through, there were legal and financial duties that had to be attended to as well. One of which is to set up a household account that is reported to the government after the marriage is recorded.
If the bank reported the joint account, and if the reporting took place on the same day that the Hall burned down, then it was possible that the government would try to recover everything that transpired at the now- burned-office by using other methods.
Nabiki took a deep breath and sat in her chair as she tried to imagine the tendrils of the marriage worked itself into the government records. Taxes probably lead to insurance records, which probably lead to the educational system.
The potential headache that started downstairs was rapidly becoming a migraine.
Nabiki tried not to think about what people might say about her being married to Ranma. She hoped that the system was slow and inefficient for that would save her and Ranma from having to answer many embarrassing questions.
Nabiki stared out the window and thought about what her father would say when he found out that she is the Mrs. Saotome mentioned in the letter. Slumping in the chair, Nabiki mused that the fathers would never let her and Ranma get divorced.
Nabiki slammed her hands on the desk and shouted, "This is not the way it's supposed to be!"
"What's not the way is supposed to be?"
Nabiki turned around to see Ranma sitting on the floor behind her and Akane and Kasumi standing next to her bed. Nabiki tossed the bankbook to Ranma.
"Look at this."
Everyone watched Ranma open the book to the third page.
"Huh? There's no money in this account?" Ranma turned back the first page and saw the "Closed" stamp. "Wha?"
Nabiki flung the second bankbook at Ranma at high speed, which was easily caught. "Now look at this one."
Again, Ranma turned to the third page and his eyes bulged. "Wow! That's a lot of money!"
Akane perked up, "Money? We have money?"
Nabiki squirmed in her seat and ignored her sister. "Turn to the first page and read it so everyone can hear it."
Ranma did as she asked and started reading, "Let's see. Account type is joint family. Then it sa..." Ranma stopped in mid-sentence.
"Go on, Ranma. Read it."
Ranma started to sweat, "Account holders...Ranma and Nabiki Saotome." He dropped the bankbook on the floor.
"Oh, my."
"Ranma..."
"We gotta do somethin' before Pops find out."
"That's right, Mister Obvious."
"Ranma..."
Ranma looked at Akane, who was holding her hands in tight fists, and asked, "what?"
"You idiot! How could you do this?" It was obvious to everyone that Akane was trying very hard not to hit her fiancee.
"Hey, I didn't do this! This has got to be a mix up! Right, Nabiki?"
Nabiki was out of her chair and walking towards Akane when Ranma asked for help. Positioning herself between Ranma and her sister, Nabiki spoke in a low tone, "This whole thing is one massive mistake. You will not hit Ranma. You will not say a word of this to anyone. If you do, then I will make your life miserable."
The two sisters stared at each other for several minutes without moving a muscle or saying a word. Ranma and Kasumi watched the duel of wills, both knowing that Akane would give in.
Finally Akane relaxed, and stepped aside. She acknowledged her defeat with, "Okay."
Nabiki held out her hand to Ranma, and indicated that he should get to his feet. "We have to get this fixed as soon as we can."
"What are we going to do?"
"First we start at the bank and find out why they think we are married and get the accounts straightened. Then we'll have to get up early tomorrow and go to the city hall and do what we can there."
It was Kasumi's time to ask about the bank accounts, "Why do you have to go the bank?"
"Don't ask. This is between Ranma and me." Nabiki tried to cut off any questions about the now joint account.
Kasumi continued asking questions, "why would you and Ranma have a joint account? You aren't married -- or are you?"
Nabiki walked to the door and shut it before answering. "You know how Ranma and I have been selling things, right?" She waited for her older sister to give an affirmative answer then she continued, "well, we kind of got lucky and found some things that were worth a lot of money. Ranma and I split the profits from some of the stuff we sold."
"You embezzled from the family?" Akane charged.
Nabiki became defensive, "No, not really." She sat down at her desk and pulled out another bankbook from a drawer. "When I said 'a lot of money', I meant 'a lot of money.'" Nabiki opened the book to the right page and handed the book to Kasumi. "That book is the family savings, which does not include the money we've saved for next year's vacation."
Nabiki reached into the desk again and pulled out another bankbook, opened it, and handed it to Akane. Kasumi peered over her shoulder as they both looked at the numbers.
A stereophonic "oh, my" was heard in the room.
"Because we were doing all the work, I thought that we should enjoy some of what we earned. So Ranma and I had our own accounts at the bank as well."
Akane looked up with a questioning look in her eyes as her hands fondled the bankbook. "How much do you have?" she asked.
"Right now, nothing. It's in that account," Nabiki said as she pointed to the book in Ranma's hands.
"Is it a lot?"
Ranma looked at the bankbook and nodded his head. He saw Nabiki hold out her hand out, so he handed the book back to her. "Yeah, it's a lot."
Kasumi finally broke in, "How much?"
Nabiki stopped Ranma from responding, "Sis, this is between Ranma and me. It is large enough for the bank and the government to think we are married. It is large enough to attract attention. If our fathers found out, we would never see it again."
Nabiki studied the faces of Kasumi and Akane. This was a touchy subject and could cause some friction in the family. She eased her voice a little, "Ranma and I went though some interesting things for this money. Please don't worry. If we start to have money problems again, I promise that Ranma and I will do what we can to ensure that everything turns out okay.
"But, please. This is Ranma's and my secret. Please don't tell anyone. Especially our fathers."
Nabiki saw that Akane and Kasumi relax and nod their heads in understanding. "Thank you," she quietly intoned.
In the moment of quiet, Nabiki looked at the clock on her nightstand. "Come on, Ranma. We have to get to the bank before they close."
***
Nabiki and Ranma were sitting in the office of the branch assistant manager. They had already explained the situation to a teller, who quickly passed the problem off an older woman who in turn, brought in the assistant manager. The manager was outside of his office talking to the teller that they first spoke to. When the two youngsters began to shuffle in their uncomfortable but stylish chairs the assistant manager came back in with a folder.
"Well," the manager started as he reviewed the papers in the folder, "it seems I owe you both an apology. We have erred. If you would look here," he pulled out a form and placed it on his desk facing Nabiki and Ranma. He explained the form as he pointed to a series of check boxes on the form, "here is where the problem occurred. When we filled out this form, we mis- read which box went with the label. This was a new form, and it has proved to be confusing to those that use it for the first time. We have already replaced this form with a new one," the manager pulled another form from a sheaf on his desk and placed it along side the first paper. "You'll see that we have enclosed each question and the possible answers in cells and eliminated the vertical headings.
"As you can see, the checkbox for your marital status is marked as 'newly wed', but should be marked as 'single.' And note the next box, it is for length of marriage. If we move all the check boxes over by one, as it should have been, you both would have been flagged as 'single'.
"Please accept my apologies. We will immediately open two new accounts, one for each of you with the amounts that you indicated."
After Ranma and Nabiki accepted the apologies, the man started working at his terminal, creating the necessary accounts and moving the monies from the single joint account to the two new ones. After about fifteen minutes and several stamps later, Ranma and Nabiki left the office with two new bankbooks, a letter of apology and a note for the government about the mistake.
***
The next day, the two went to the city hall to change their marital status. After a couple of false starts, they found themselves in the wedding license line.
Finally talking to someone, they explained their situation. The clerk became overwhelmed and brought his manager, Mr. Kunimoto, to the desk. Nabiki and Ranma told their story again and showed the manager the letters from the bank and the letter they received at the house the previous day. The manager then excused himself, and took the clerk with him to another part of the room.
Ranma and Nabiki watched the two discuss something in the distance for a few minutes, and then watch the two of them talk to an older man for moment. The manager and the clerk went behind door.
Nabiki and Ranma waited patiently at the clerk's desk, and after what seemed to be a quarter hour, the old man came up to the two and greeted them.
"Hello, I'm Ichi Ichi, the senior clerk of this office. I heard about your problem a few minutes ago and I can help you."
Ranma's eyes lit up with hope, for he was tired of waiting.
Ichi Ichi continued as he sat in the chair behind the desk, "This is an unfortunate circumstance, is it not? You live your life for several weeks, thinking everything was right with the world and then your parents get that strange letter."
"Yeah. It took us by surprise."
"As well it should. This should have never happened." Ichi Ichi thumbed through a stack of forms and pulled one out. "May I see the letter you received?"
Nabiki pulled the letter out of her own manila folder and handed it to the old man. He read it, then started filling in fields on some form as he talked to the two. "This will take a few weeks to process. I will need to pass this through the tax department that notified us, and then find out who else they told." He stopped and looked at the two teenagers in front of him and asked, "You two are still in school, yes?"
Ranma nodded his head and Nabiki said "yes."
"I thought so. I'll run a copy of this to the education department as well." Ichi Ichi stopped printing and studied the form before placing it in front of Nabiki and Ranma. Pointing to several locations on the form, he indicated where he needed to have them fill in the boxes and where to stamp the document at the bottom.
Nabiki looked the form over and noted that there were several other sections left blank. "Excuse me, Mr. Ichi Ichi, but it seems that there are several areas that still need to be filled in."
"Ah. Yes, you are quite correct. I don't have access to those sections at this desk. I will fill them in later after I speak to the manager."
Nabiki filled in the places where he indicated, stamped it, and then handed the document to Ranma, who stamped it.
"Very good," Ichi Ichi said took the form from Ranma and made sure that everything was correct. "Please wait here for Mr. Kunimoto to return. I'm sure he will be back in just a few minutes."
Ichi Ichi bowed quickly to Ranma and Nabiki and left the room.
"Is that it?" Ranma asked. "I thought it was going to be a lot harder."
Nabiki shrugged her shoulders, "Me, too."
Mr. Kunimoto came to the desk and sat across from them. "I have to apologize. This is a most confusing situation, and will take some time to rectify." He started to rife through the same stack of forms that Ichi Ichi did a short while previously. "That's odd. I thought this set was complete." He started to get up when Ranma spoke, "Well, Mr. Ichi Ichi was here a little while ago and pulled some form out of it and filled it in and we stamped it."
Mr. Kunimoto eyebrows raised a moment. "Ichi Ichi is our senior clerk, so I guess he would know what to do." He sighed, "I guess he already left with the forms?"
Nabiki indicated the side door that she saw him leave, "He went out that door."
Mr. Kunimoto smiled, "Then I think everything is taken care of. We will be sending a letter of confirmation, hopefully in a few weeks when things are cleared up." His face became serious, and said, "but I must warn you. Government is big, and it may take a couple of months before everything is correct. Not everything is on computers yet," he waved his arms to show the office, which still had a few typewriters, "as you can see."
Ranma and Nabiki looked at each other with worried looks on their faces.
"Fear not. If Ichi Ichi said he will pass this through, he will."
Nabiki and Ranma stood and thanked the man as they shook his hands.
"Here, Uncle Genma. You have a letter from the Hall of Records," Kasumi said as she put the large formal looking envelope next to Genma's hands.
Genma put the pipe that was in his hands down and opened the missive. As he read, his eyes widened and his mouth opened wide.
"Oh joyous day! I'm so proud of my son!" Genma shouted as he started to dance a little jig.
"What is it, Saotome?"
"Ranma. He did it! He got married!"
"Married?"
"Yes! Look!"
Soun took the letter from Genma's hands and read. "Hmm. It says, 'Mr. Saotome, Congratulations on your son's recent marriage! This is an important step in being a responsible member of your community. Blah, blah, blah.' It looks like a form letter to me. Let me see what else it says." A few moments later he spoke again; "I can't believe this. It says, 'We regret that we cannot find any records of the marriage, as they were probably destroyed when a gas main exploded beneath our previous office. Thankfully the tax department forwarded some basic information on your son's status change so we can start rebuilding our records. If you and the father of the bride could please come down to our new office, we can issue a formal marriage certificate for them.'"
Soun broke out in a huge smile and tears were forming in his eyes. Genma saw the emotion building in his friend's face and gently took the paper from his hands, making sure it was safe from any mishaps.
Tears began to pour from Soun's eyes as he said, "Ranma married my baby girl! This is such a wonderful day!"
Genma started to start his celebration anew when he looked at the letter again. Something bothered him, something was missing, as he scoured the letter, he noticed what was wrong. He grabbed Tendo's shoulders and shook the man as he shouted.
"Tendo! Who did Ranma marry?"
Soun stopped crying and looked at the bald man in front of him. "Oh, Akane, of course!"
"You sure of that?"
"Of course, I read the letter."
"The letter doesn't say who Ranma married."
"It doesn't?"
"No. Look for yourself," Genma said as he handed the paper back to Soun.
Soun "hmm'ed" and "ahh'ed" as he read the letter once again. After a moment, he agreed, "It appears you are correct."
"First, we must perform our parental duties, and sign the wedding papers. Then we must find who he married and arrange a proper ceremony and reception! It looks like its time for..."
The elder men looked at each other and with happy grins, they both yelled, "Operation Another Happy Day!"
"Ranma, my boy! You tried to keep it a secret! We knew you would honor the agreement! I am so proud of you! Congratulations!"
"Well, son!" Soun started crying, "I can call him 'son'!" What started with just a few tears quickly turned into a torrent.
Ranma blinked and looked at the two inebriated fathers with a suspicious eye. After going, "huh," he found himself being led into the dojo, where he saw a table, several pillows on the floor, and three cups plus a few large bottles of sake sitting on the table, and in the corner was a box with what looked like to be many empty bottles of sake. It was just too obvious that the two fathers were up to something; being called 'son' by Soun set off warning alarms in Ranma's mind.
Knowing that he had to follow his father's lead, Ranma sat on a pillow and held out his cup for his father to fill. Once his cup was filled, the two fathers looked at each other and shouted "Cheers!" and took their first sip. Ranma, however, sat there with his cup in his hand, staring at his father.
"Drink up, boy! You're a man now!" shouted an exuberant Genma.
Ranma looked at the cup and took a very small sip. The vile liquid dried his tongue and evaporated in his mouth before he could swallow. Ranma silently thanked Akane for cooking for him; if it weren't for her food, he would not have been able to keep a straight face when the sake touched his lips.
Soun, having his first cup of sake in him, had settled down and composed himself. After having Genma refill his cup, and refilling Genma's", he addressed boy sitting next to him.
"Now, Ranma," Soun said with a serious intonation, "we have made a discovery today that made us very proud. We won't ask your reasons why, but we must know, you understand, who you married."
Ranma tried to figure out how the concept of marriage popped his host's mind. He and Nabiki were close friends, and were growing to something more than friends, but neither of them was ready to get married. Thanks to the little business the two of them had, discussions and issues about finances were minimized. In fact, Ranma couldn't think of when he and Nabiki ever really discussed marriage beyond the engagement. "Married?" Ranma calmly said, "I ain't married."
"Ranma, son, our," Genma paused and pressed his glasses back up his nose before continuing, "your future depends on who you married. And we are here to help you with your future. Trust us. We have your best interests at heart.
"So, tell us, who did you marry?"
Ranma put his still-full cup down and readied himself. His father was being pushy again, and that meant that a fight was going to start brewing. He rejected his father's claim, "I ain't married, Pops. I don't know what you guys have been drinkin', but I ain't married."
"Oh, come now. Don't be shy. We know you couldn't wait and married Akane. We can see it in her eyes!"
Ranma struggled to keep from lashing out at his father as he backed up from the sake bottle and yelled, "I didn't marry Akane! Get off it, Pops!"
Genma started to shout something about having proof that Ranma was married when Ranma heard Kasumi's voice call for him through the open dojo door. "Oh, god, Kasumi," he thought, "you are a life saver!"
Ranma stood up and started to back away from the table, excusing himself with, "Sorry, Pops! Kasumi's callin' me!"
Ranma didn't bother to see the reaction of the two old men as he happily dashed to the house from where Kasumi called him.
Back in the dojo, Soun's eyebrows arched to a strange position as he watched Ranma leave. Ranma's sudden exit was not planned for, and it was because Kasumi had called him. But why would Kasumi call him? Maybe it was because she needed his help with something, perhaps she was trying a new recipe and she wanted him to taste it. Nah, that couldn't be it, she's too good to need his help. But he has been spending a lot of time with her.
Soun's thought process took just about a second before he muttered, "What she wanted."
"Who wanted?" asked Genma, who was angry with Ranma leaving without telling who he was married to.
"Kasumi," Soun said, "Kasumi's married to Ranma!" Old-man Tendo finally put the pieces together. "Kasumi and Ranma are married! That's why Ranma runs home after school everyday! It's the only time they can be together alone!"
Without regard to his friend, Soun, deliriously happy, ran to the house and straight to the kitchen where he was sure to find the blissful newlyweds. "Oh, how wonderful" he thought, "she found someone to take care of, and better yet, she never has to leave!"
As Soun turned into the kitchen he saw Kasumi hesitantly pull away from Ranma, retracting her hands from his face. Soun's last near-coherent thought before starting to cry was, "Oh, my! They just kissed!"
As the tears started to pour down his cheeks, he spoke to his daughter and new son, "I'm so happy for the two of you!" After wiping his nose, he continued, "Ranma, son! I should have known that it would have taken a wonderful person like Kasumi to win you over!"
The younger occupants of the room stared at the old man and watched Genma arrive.
"That's what I was tryin' to tell ya, Kasumi. They somehow seem ta think that I'm married. First Akane, now it's you," Ranma said as he wiped his face dry with his sleeve.
Kasumi wiped her hands on her apron and watched her father with concern and disappointment in her voice, "Oh, my. You seem to be right. Well, don't worry. I'm sure you'll be happy with whoever the lucky girl is."
Ranma gently touched Kasumi's hand, and said quietly, "Those idiots think we're married to each other."
Kasumi's voice reflected happiness again, "Oh. That's good," she said.
Ranma blinked at Kasumi's comment and sudden happiness. When Soun started blabbering again and as his father was about to give Kasumi a congratulatory hug, Ranma protested again with a little anger in his voice, "I ain't married. And I am not married to Kasumi!"
The sole female in the room looked at Ranma with a hurt look on her face. "Ranma," she simply said.
Ranma did not miss the feelings Kasumi layered in the statement as he started to panic. Expectedly, he said the first thing that came to his mind, "No, no, no! Don't get upset!" Ranma started to hold Kasumi's hands, "I'd marry ya if I weren't engaged to half a dozen other girls! Really!"
Kasumi smiled at Ranma, his careless comment was exactly she needed. After giving Ranma a playful wink, she effortlessly sidestepped Genma's clumsy attempt at giving a hug and walked to her bawling father. Putting her arms around his shoulders, she led him to the sink where the tears swirled down the drain.
Still holding him up, she tried to calm her father, "Please calm down. Ranma and I aren't married."
As she quietly talked to him, she heard a soft thump behind her. Turning around, she saw Ranma's foot in his father's face. Stifling a smile, she continued her quiet talk with her father.
"But I saw the two of you kissing when I came in," Soun said as he tried to stop crying.
The thought of she and Ranma kissing made her blush slightly, but she kept control of herself. "No," she said, "Ranma had something in his eye and I was looking to see if I could help him. Nothing happened, Father."
"Well, in that case," Soun's eyes miraculously dried up, "I guess I still have a mystery to solve."
Kasumi watched Soun look at the walls for a moment before slightly nodding his head as he mumbled, "I'm sorry for making such a wrong assumption."
Happily, Kasumi let her father know that nothing was harmed, "It's all right, Father. Things turned out well, didn't it?"
"Yes." Soun turned around and staggered out of the kitchen, indicating to Genma to follow him outside.
When the fathers were out of the room, Kasumi looked at Ranma, wondering what was to happen next. Ranma's comment about marrying her was amusing; her experience with Ranma was such that she felt that if she pressed the issue, he'd honor what he'd just said.
Ranma's voice interrupted the silence, and it was obvious that he was asking the same questions, "So, uh, Kasumi, are we engaged?"
Kasumi wasn't sure what Ranma was thinking, so she played it safe. She touched Ranmas' hand and slid her arm under his. Arm in arm, the two of them leaned against the stove. Holding her voice steady, but friendly, she said, "No, Ranma, we're not."
Kasumi saw the telltale signs of nervousness disappear in Ranma. He was light on his feet and his hands look as if they were ready to strike quickly, and now he's relaxed with both feet still and steady on the ground. His voice proved his emotional state by asking "you're not upset, are ya?"
Kasumi couldn't help but smile; Ranma was possibly the most insecure and socially inept person she knew, but he did care about his friends and family. For the first three or so months he was at the Tendo's, Ranma was self centered and rude. The efforts that she and her sisters have been putting forth in training him had wrought some interesting changes. The question that Ranma just asked was one such change; he had learned how to be genuinely concerned about the feelings of Kasumi, Nabiki, and to a lesser extent, Akane.
"Kasumi?" Ranma interrupted her train of thought.
"I'm all right, Ranma. I was just trying to think why they would think we were married."
"What?" came Nabiki's voice from the kitchen entrance. Her voice had a cold tone to it.
"Father and Uncle Genma seemed to think that Ranma was married to one of us already."
"Ranma..."
"I ain't married!"
"Good." Nabiki had the start of a small smile cross her face as she entered the kitchen. As she started looking in the refrigerator, she asked what happened and Ranma began his tale with his return from school and being cornered by the old men and the sake in the dojo and continued through the events in the kitchen. Occasionally Nabiki would ask for clarification, but she kept quiet through Ranma's story while she munched on the apple she found.
At the end, Nabiki was worried about the assumption the fathers made. They would not think that Ranma was married unless something or someone told them Ranma was married.
"Ranma," she asked, "have you seen anything that would give them think you were married?"
"Nope. As soon as I got home they dragged me into the dojo."
"Ranma, why don't you go there and see if you can find something while Kasumi and I look around here for clues."
Ranma was disappointed that Nabiki didn't have a solution for the current predicament. Glumly, he muttered, "Yeah, I guess so."
***
As Ranma entered the dojo he saw Akane standing by the table that the fathers had set up. She was quivering as she held a piece of paper in her hands.
"Who, just tell me, who did you marry?!"
"I didn't marry nobody!"
"Then what is this all about!" Akane shoved the paper in Ranma's chest before sitting on the floor with a loud "thump."
Ranma started read the letter aloud, and when he reached the part about being married he stopped in silence.
"It's gotta be a joke."
"Nope. Look at the address and the seal on the bottom. It's real."
"It can't be right. No way. I am not married. Maybe it went to the wrong place." Ranma looked at the letter again. "Yeah, that's it. Saotome is a common name. It should have gone to some other guy!"
Akane looked suspiciously at Ranma and stood up. Grabbing her school bags, she walked out the dojo door, indicating to Ranma that he was to follow her.
Akane found her sisters finishing off the last of a plate of cookies in the tearoom. Off in the corner she saw the two fathers snoring.
"Akane, you didn't announce yourself when you came in," Kasumi chided her youngest sister.
"Sorry. Something was on my mind. Here, look at this." Akane tore the letter from Ranma's hand and gave it to Kasumi.
Kasumi started reading the paper and let lose a quiet, "oh, my" before handing the letter to Nabiki.
"Well," Nabiki commented as she finished reading the letter and placed it on the table, "that explains everything." Nabiki squinted her eyes as if she was trying to stave off a headache before she muttered, "This could be a problem."
Akane watched Nabiki's face harden in frustration. "Perhaps there was a clue in the letter that she missed," Akane thought, so she picked up the letter and read it again.
She studiously followed each section, often voicing parts aloud as if to engrave details into her brain. Suddenly she blurted, "Tax department? What tax department?"
Nabiki stopped rubbing the bridge of her nose and looked at Akane. "What did you say?"
"Here," Akane handed the paper to Nabiki and indicated the part about a notification from the tax department to the civil service records desk of the new marriage.
Nabiki looked at the letter again and went white. She asked if anyone knew the day that the Hall burned down. Akane thought it was about three weeks ago. Eyes wide open and as panic settled on Nabiki's face, she quickly went to her desk and checked the bankbooks she held for her and Ranma. A quick scan of her book showed a zero balance and a close note. Her hands shaking, she looked at Ranma's book, and it said "Ranma and Nabiki Saotome" with a large opening balance that represented the total of what should have been two separate accounts.
The room went into a spin and then started to darken.
Nabiki quickly grabbed the side of the desk and took a deep breath of air. She tried to remember what she learned in school. Aside from the religious and social functions that one goes through, there were legal and financial duties that had to be attended to as well. One of which is to set up a household account that is reported to the government after the marriage is recorded.
If the bank reported the joint account, and if the reporting took place on the same day that the Hall burned down, then it was possible that the government would try to recover everything that transpired at the now- burned-office by using other methods.
Nabiki took a deep breath and sat in her chair as she tried to imagine the tendrils of the marriage worked itself into the government records. Taxes probably lead to insurance records, which probably lead to the educational system.
The potential headache that started downstairs was rapidly becoming a migraine.
Nabiki tried not to think about what people might say about her being married to Ranma. She hoped that the system was slow and inefficient for that would save her and Ranma from having to answer many embarrassing questions.
Nabiki stared out the window and thought about what her father would say when he found out that she is the Mrs. Saotome mentioned in the letter. Slumping in the chair, Nabiki mused that the fathers would never let her and Ranma get divorced.
Nabiki slammed her hands on the desk and shouted, "This is not the way it's supposed to be!"
"What's not the way is supposed to be?"
Nabiki turned around to see Ranma sitting on the floor behind her and Akane and Kasumi standing next to her bed. Nabiki tossed the bankbook to Ranma.
"Look at this."
Everyone watched Ranma open the book to the third page.
"Huh? There's no money in this account?" Ranma turned back the first page and saw the "Closed" stamp. "Wha?"
Nabiki flung the second bankbook at Ranma at high speed, which was easily caught. "Now look at this one."
Again, Ranma turned to the third page and his eyes bulged. "Wow! That's a lot of money!"
Akane perked up, "Money? We have money?"
Nabiki squirmed in her seat and ignored her sister. "Turn to the first page and read it so everyone can hear it."
Ranma did as she asked and started reading, "Let's see. Account type is joint family. Then it sa..." Ranma stopped in mid-sentence.
"Go on, Ranma. Read it."
Ranma started to sweat, "Account holders...Ranma and Nabiki Saotome." He dropped the bankbook on the floor.
"Oh, my."
"Ranma..."
"We gotta do somethin' before Pops find out."
"That's right, Mister Obvious."
"Ranma..."
Ranma looked at Akane, who was holding her hands in tight fists, and asked, "what?"
"You idiot! How could you do this?" It was obvious to everyone that Akane was trying very hard not to hit her fiancee.
"Hey, I didn't do this! This has got to be a mix up! Right, Nabiki?"
Nabiki was out of her chair and walking towards Akane when Ranma asked for help. Positioning herself between Ranma and her sister, Nabiki spoke in a low tone, "This whole thing is one massive mistake. You will not hit Ranma. You will not say a word of this to anyone. If you do, then I will make your life miserable."
The two sisters stared at each other for several minutes without moving a muscle or saying a word. Ranma and Kasumi watched the duel of wills, both knowing that Akane would give in.
Finally Akane relaxed, and stepped aside. She acknowledged her defeat with, "Okay."
Nabiki held out her hand to Ranma, and indicated that he should get to his feet. "We have to get this fixed as soon as we can."
"What are we going to do?"
"First we start at the bank and find out why they think we are married and get the accounts straightened. Then we'll have to get up early tomorrow and go to the city hall and do what we can there."
It was Kasumi's time to ask about the bank accounts, "Why do you have to go the bank?"
"Don't ask. This is between Ranma and me." Nabiki tried to cut off any questions about the now joint account.
Kasumi continued asking questions, "why would you and Ranma have a joint account? You aren't married -- or are you?"
Nabiki walked to the door and shut it before answering. "You know how Ranma and I have been selling things, right?" She waited for her older sister to give an affirmative answer then she continued, "well, we kind of got lucky and found some things that were worth a lot of money. Ranma and I split the profits from some of the stuff we sold."
"You embezzled from the family?" Akane charged.
Nabiki became defensive, "No, not really." She sat down at her desk and pulled out another bankbook from a drawer. "When I said 'a lot of money', I meant 'a lot of money.'" Nabiki opened the book to the right page and handed the book to Kasumi. "That book is the family savings, which does not include the money we've saved for next year's vacation."
Nabiki reached into the desk again and pulled out another bankbook, opened it, and handed it to Akane. Kasumi peered over her shoulder as they both looked at the numbers.
A stereophonic "oh, my" was heard in the room.
"Because we were doing all the work, I thought that we should enjoy some of what we earned. So Ranma and I had our own accounts at the bank as well."
Akane looked up with a questioning look in her eyes as her hands fondled the bankbook. "How much do you have?" she asked.
"Right now, nothing. It's in that account," Nabiki said as she pointed to the book in Ranma's hands.
"Is it a lot?"
Ranma looked at the bankbook and nodded his head. He saw Nabiki hold out her hand out, so he handed the book back to her. "Yeah, it's a lot."
Kasumi finally broke in, "How much?"
Nabiki stopped Ranma from responding, "Sis, this is between Ranma and me. It is large enough for the bank and the government to think we are married. It is large enough to attract attention. If our fathers found out, we would never see it again."
Nabiki studied the faces of Kasumi and Akane. This was a touchy subject and could cause some friction in the family. She eased her voice a little, "Ranma and I went though some interesting things for this money. Please don't worry. If we start to have money problems again, I promise that Ranma and I will do what we can to ensure that everything turns out okay.
"But, please. This is Ranma's and my secret. Please don't tell anyone. Especially our fathers."
Nabiki saw that Akane and Kasumi relax and nod their heads in understanding. "Thank you," she quietly intoned.
In the moment of quiet, Nabiki looked at the clock on her nightstand. "Come on, Ranma. We have to get to the bank before they close."
***
Nabiki and Ranma were sitting in the office of the branch assistant manager. They had already explained the situation to a teller, who quickly passed the problem off an older woman who in turn, brought in the assistant manager. The manager was outside of his office talking to the teller that they first spoke to. When the two youngsters began to shuffle in their uncomfortable but stylish chairs the assistant manager came back in with a folder.
"Well," the manager started as he reviewed the papers in the folder, "it seems I owe you both an apology. We have erred. If you would look here," he pulled out a form and placed it on his desk facing Nabiki and Ranma. He explained the form as he pointed to a series of check boxes on the form, "here is where the problem occurred. When we filled out this form, we mis- read which box went with the label. This was a new form, and it has proved to be confusing to those that use it for the first time. We have already replaced this form with a new one," the manager pulled another form from a sheaf on his desk and placed it along side the first paper. "You'll see that we have enclosed each question and the possible answers in cells and eliminated the vertical headings.
"As you can see, the checkbox for your marital status is marked as 'newly wed', but should be marked as 'single.' And note the next box, it is for length of marriage. If we move all the check boxes over by one, as it should have been, you both would have been flagged as 'single'.
"Please accept my apologies. We will immediately open two new accounts, one for each of you with the amounts that you indicated."
After Ranma and Nabiki accepted the apologies, the man started working at his terminal, creating the necessary accounts and moving the monies from the single joint account to the two new ones. After about fifteen minutes and several stamps later, Ranma and Nabiki left the office with two new bankbooks, a letter of apology and a note for the government about the mistake.
***
The next day, the two went to the city hall to change their marital status. After a couple of false starts, they found themselves in the wedding license line.
Finally talking to someone, they explained their situation. The clerk became overwhelmed and brought his manager, Mr. Kunimoto, to the desk. Nabiki and Ranma told their story again and showed the manager the letters from the bank and the letter they received at the house the previous day. The manager then excused himself, and took the clerk with him to another part of the room.
Ranma and Nabiki watched the two discuss something in the distance for a few minutes, and then watch the two of them talk to an older man for moment. The manager and the clerk went behind door.
Nabiki and Ranma waited patiently at the clerk's desk, and after what seemed to be a quarter hour, the old man came up to the two and greeted them.
"Hello, I'm Ichi Ichi, the senior clerk of this office. I heard about your problem a few minutes ago and I can help you."
Ranma's eyes lit up with hope, for he was tired of waiting.
Ichi Ichi continued as he sat in the chair behind the desk, "This is an unfortunate circumstance, is it not? You live your life for several weeks, thinking everything was right with the world and then your parents get that strange letter."
"Yeah. It took us by surprise."
"As well it should. This should have never happened." Ichi Ichi thumbed through a stack of forms and pulled one out. "May I see the letter you received?"
Nabiki pulled the letter out of her own manila folder and handed it to the old man. He read it, then started filling in fields on some form as he talked to the two. "This will take a few weeks to process. I will need to pass this through the tax department that notified us, and then find out who else they told." He stopped and looked at the two teenagers in front of him and asked, "You two are still in school, yes?"
Ranma nodded his head and Nabiki said "yes."
"I thought so. I'll run a copy of this to the education department as well." Ichi Ichi stopped printing and studied the form before placing it in front of Nabiki and Ranma. Pointing to several locations on the form, he indicated where he needed to have them fill in the boxes and where to stamp the document at the bottom.
Nabiki looked the form over and noted that there were several other sections left blank. "Excuse me, Mr. Ichi Ichi, but it seems that there are several areas that still need to be filled in."
"Ah. Yes, you are quite correct. I don't have access to those sections at this desk. I will fill them in later after I speak to the manager."
Nabiki filled in the places where he indicated, stamped it, and then handed the document to Ranma, who stamped it.
"Very good," Ichi Ichi said took the form from Ranma and made sure that everything was correct. "Please wait here for Mr. Kunimoto to return. I'm sure he will be back in just a few minutes."
Ichi Ichi bowed quickly to Ranma and Nabiki and left the room.
"Is that it?" Ranma asked. "I thought it was going to be a lot harder."
Nabiki shrugged her shoulders, "Me, too."
Mr. Kunimoto came to the desk and sat across from them. "I have to apologize. This is a most confusing situation, and will take some time to rectify." He started to rife through the same stack of forms that Ichi Ichi did a short while previously. "That's odd. I thought this set was complete." He started to get up when Ranma spoke, "Well, Mr. Ichi Ichi was here a little while ago and pulled some form out of it and filled it in and we stamped it."
Mr. Kunimoto eyebrows raised a moment. "Ichi Ichi is our senior clerk, so I guess he would know what to do." He sighed, "I guess he already left with the forms?"
Nabiki indicated the side door that she saw him leave, "He went out that door."
Mr. Kunimoto smiled, "Then I think everything is taken care of. We will be sending a letter of confirmation, hopefully in a few weeks when things are cleared up." His face became serious, and said, "but I must warn you. Government is big, and it may take a couple of months before everything is correct. Not everything is on computers yet," he waved his arms to show the office, which still had a few typewriters, "as you can see."
Ranma and Nabiki looked at each other with worried looks on their faces.
"Fear not. If Ichi Ichi said he will pass this through, he will."
Nabiki and Ranma stood and thanked the man as they shook his hands.