A/N: Hey readers! I just felt like writing this story. Let's just see what
you think about it. There's a spoiler in this fic though. I put some parts
of the second movie in here. If you don't mind, scroll down and read.
Enjoy!
This is my first one-shot!!!! _ ^ - ^
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Those Times
Summary: Inuyasha has come to realize something over time. "I realize that now, I-I love her........" ONE SHOT
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I wobbled a bit, using Tetsusiaga as a walking stick, to stable myself. I made my way into the cave, not wanting to get any more soaked from the rain outside.
I failed, once again. I had defeated the enemy though. But, I failed her.
Kagome laid there, breathing heavily. She had a huge gash on her left leg. It was deep and severe. Sango had removed her drenched clothes and covered her with a blanket.
Since my haori dried faster, I lent my haori to her. Sango carefully dressed Kagome in it. Then, laid her back down.
While Sango treated Kagome's wound, I was treated by Miroku. My chest and arms were filled with the demon's gashes. It had been a powerful neko demoness. She was very interested in Kagome's shards and went straight to her. I had blocked her continuously, but somehow her agile abilities made her past me.
My comrades had injuries as well, but not as deep as Kagome's was.
Sango had a broken ankle, whilst Miroku had a deep wound on his chest. After Sango and Miroku bandaged each other, they went to sleep. They were only humans, they needed lots of rest.
Shippo laid asleep with Kirara, sleeping soundly, hearing some soft purrs occasionally. They cuddled up with their warmth.
I made my way to Kagome's injured form. Not only did she have a severe wound on her leg, she also had small scratches from the neko demon, who was trying to gain the Shikon shards. Fortunately, she the scratches won't leave any ugly, pink scars. Since she is a miko, she will heal naturally and quicker than most humans.
I put a hand over her forehead, being careful of my sharp claws. She shivered a bit. She was cold. I had to keep her warm. I laid her limp form on my lap. I cradled her in my arms. She unconsciously snuggled closer to me, taking advantage of the body heat that was formed. A small smile was formed on her lips.
I couldn't help but do the same gesture. I laid my back against the cave wall and tried to rest my body. It would heal by tomorrow morning. I just hope everyone else would be alright.
I felt my eyelids heavy and closed. I didn't sleep though. I had too much going on my mind.
I can't stand it no more. I realized this just now. I couldn't believe that I haven't known this till now.
I love her.
Of course, we weren't on very good terms, the first time we met. I chuckled a bit. I was reborn into the world again. Yes, I opened my eyes for the first time in those long and short fifty years that I spent sleeping in an enchantment, to find this scrawny looking girl on the ground. She seemed to be out of breath, from running I suppose. She resembled so much like the one I once loved, even with those strange, skimpy clothes she wore from the future.
I had said that she's right, she's not Kikyo, Kikyo was much cuter. I had lied. Kikyo wasn't cuter, she was beautiful. And Kagome was also beautiful, but with a tinge of cuteness in her, which made her that much more beautiful.
Although, I had mistaken Kagome for Kikyo, there were differences between them.
Kikyo had longer and straight hair, whilst Kagome's were more wavy, and were up to her shoulder. My former love always had a serious expression on. Kagome was cheerful as ever.
I was always comparing Kagome with Kikyo. I didn't understand my feelings for her myself.
Kikyo and I had somehow grown to love each other over time. There were many rumors about the Shikon no Tama. I decided to see for myself if they were true as they were told.
At first when I attempted to steal the jewel, Kikyo shot me to a tree with several arrows. She didn't kill me though. In fact, she just walked away.
I was confused. So I decided to follow her. She had caught me while she was sitting on the hill staring out into the scenery, "Inuyasha, come join me." I was surprised a bit that she knew I was there. But, she was a miko, with her spiritual powers she could sense all kinds of demons, including myself.
I sat next to her, staring at her intently. She turned her head and stared into my own golden eyes. She looked so sad. Her eyes showed it all, the sadness in it. We were both alike, outsiders. Lonely and sad.
After that, I started following her all the time. She had asked me one time, would I like to stay with her. And become human for her. I agreed.
She wanted to have a normal life. As a priestess, she would never have a normal woman's life. If I had used the Shikon no Tama to become human for her, she wouldn't have to protect the jewel anymore. The jewel would be purified.
I hadn't given it a second thought before. Kikyo wanted me to change to a human to be with her. Did she not accept me as a hanyou? Maybe she was too ashamed to been seen with a lowly hanyou by all the villagers.
Kagome was different. She did not want me to change to a human for her. She accepted him in all of my forms, hanyou, human, and full youkai.
She still stayed with me to gather all the pieces of the shards, even after I tried to kill her. Well, I wasn't trying to kill her, but scare her so she would give up the precious jewel. Yet, it wasn't so precious anymore.
I had almost gotten the jewel until that baba chanted and flew beads around my neck. Kagome had thought of the stupidest word to subdue me, "Sit". My face plummeted into the ground, my new favorite friend, and still was, forever more. Kagome once said that the word, 'sit', suited me well. She said something about dogs and obeying their masters by sitting. I didn't understand the concept at first. I didn't want to ask her to make myself look stupid. But later on, I understood. With that subduing word and rosary, I couldn't threaten her no more. She had control over me. A mere human having control over a demon. Like at her time, a master over a dog. I would never sink as low to think I would be an obedient dog (me) to a master (Kagome). Then again, I practically MADE her to 'sit' me.
I was furious about the occasional 'sitting', of course. However, it wasn't that bad. If Kagome hadn't subdued me, we wouldn't be with each other, traveling and searching for the shards together. And, I wouldn't have grown to love again.
Demo, I was sort of happy that I was subdued, in a way. It connected me to Kagome. I wouldn't have learned to love Kagome. I would've just took the jewel and become the beast that I had become a few times before. I couldn't imagine that. It was too painful thinking about it.
The scared jewel had destroyed many lives, whether innocent or not. That's how Kikyo died. She's only a walking corpse now, with part of Kagome's soul. She is filled with hatred for me.
My first motive for the Shikon was to become a full-fledged demon, which would definitely give me the power that I desired for so long. However, the first few times I had lost Tetsusiaga and transformed, the experience was unforgettable.
I had no clue what had happened while I was a full blooded demon, that is, until I discovered the strong reek of fresh blood on my claws. I always had blood on my claws, after I de-transformed.
I was in horror after seeing so much people slaughtered, by me. The female villagers that were held hostage by the group of bandits were unharmed, and had become scared of me.
Kagome stayed by my side though. After an encounter with my bastard of a brother, I was injured very badly. I had vaguely heard Kagome shouting over me, telling my half-brother to stay away. She was protecting me. I was too paralyzed to move, to do anything.
After some words from that bastard, I felt sudden, intense pain all over my body. I had become a hanyou again, I guess.
I tried to wash the humans' blood off my claws in the river. Yet, they still reek of it, proving me as a murderer. I was ashamed and felt horrible. I slaughtered all of them, I gave them no mercy at all, those good for nothing bandits. Even they didn't deserve anything like this.
Kagome sat beside me and gave me a look. I didn't want her to pity me. But, she knew how I felt. She rested her head on my shoulder and reassured me. I put a hand over hers.
I worried. If I wasn't able to transform back to a hanyou again, would I hurt Kagome? I could've easily killed her. I didn't want that, not at all. I was scared, ever since from that experience.
She knew that I could kill her, but she stayed by my side. She promised that she won't leave my side no matter what the circumstances were. That gave my heart hope. I wonder if Kikyo would've done that, stay by my side no matter what. Or maybe she wouldn't hesitate to kill me. But she hadn't. She didn't hesitate, and shot the arrow to my chest.
It pierced me, physically and emotionally. We have easily betrayed each other. I learned that it wasn't really Naraku's fault at all. Kikyo and I didn't trust each other, and we eventually died. I learned that much from Naraku. Keh, who knew that I would learn something from that bastard.
Then, I was reborn fifty years later, by Kagome, Kikyo's reincarnation. She pulled the arrow out, and released the spell.
At the time where she had been controlled by the tainted shards in her throat, I stayed by Kagome. She was about to shoot an arrow at me. But, I didn't leave her, even if it meant myself dying. I didn't exactly understand that before. We trusted each other, which meant something. Our relationship was deeper than Kikyo's and mine.
However, I don't really know if Kagome loves me deeply as I do to her.
I hated it when Miroku touched Kagome's rear end, the first time we met. Of course, he only did it a couple of times at first.
He had averted his full attention to the skilled, female demon exterminator. He groped her all the time, to no one's surprise, in almost every possible inappropriate place. Sango didn't show it to the public that she kind of liked the lecherous, monk's attention. The way that they express their love, was obvious.
That wimpy wolf shows up all the time, where he wasn't needed. Keh, he was always unneeded.
I felt anger inside me every time that bastard of a wolf came and sweet- talked that shit to Kagome. It hadn't occurred to me that it was downright jealousy. Kagome always mentioned that. I cringed when Koga would take her small, delicate hands in his.
No one can touch MY Kagome. I had called her 'my' a lot of times lately. Of course, not out loud, I kept it to myself. I didn't realize it that much though. Back to Koga, my head felt like exploding every time he arrives in that ridiculous tornado of his. He probably does it to show off or something. That coward. He can't even defeat while he still has those two jewel shards jammed in his legs. That cheat.
It never occurred to me that Kagome get hurt emotionally, by me.
I had recklessly ran off to Kikyo, and Kagome somehow always gets hurt. All because of me. I vowed to Kikyo that I would protect her. But, I still had a lot of mixed feelings then. That one time, I forced Kikyo into a forceful embrace, and Kagome saw all of it. She ran off afterwards. I felt real guilty then.
I didn't even think that she would return to me. She had, the next day. I felt like I betrayed her. But, she came back, and stayed. Even when I had chose Kikyo back then.
I don't deserve Kagome. She went through all that pain, yet she remained by my side.
I remember when we have believed that we defeated Naraku, and came across Kaguya. That witch. She was almost like a female version of Naraku. She absorbed other youkai to remain strong and eternal youth. Disgusting.
She kept Kagome captive and assumed that she wanted to eat Kagome as well, for her spiritual powers. I wouldn't let that happen in a million years. I tried to take down Kaguya, as she trapped all my human blood in that mirror of hers.
I felt myself in two places. My human side in the mirror, and my demonic side. Most of my mind was in my demonic side though. Kaguya had tried to transform me into what I had desired deeply. A pure-blooded demon. I was hesitating. I tried so hard to force the demon inside me, back to where it was. Kagome ran to me, and shed tears.
She used her effort to change me back. I had dug my claws deeply into her shoulders. I shuddered. It was the most horrible feeling. I sank deeper and deeper into my demonic side, which had taken over most of me already.
Kagome made herself taller on her toes, and connected her lips with mine. I calmed down eventually and slowly reverted back to my hanyou self.
My hands loosened, she was wounded by my claws. I kissed her back. It was a great sensation. I never felt anything like it before. Her lips were soft and warm. It was a soft feeling. Her lips tasted like strawberry and a mixture of berries. It seemed to last forever.
The moment lasted while it could. I had to defeat Kaguya and Naraku. I had defeated Kaguya, but not Naraku. He escaped along with Kohaku. I saw Sango's face sadden at that time. I still feel real bad for her. I'm not pitying her or anything. Sango's a strong girl. But, I'm not so sure she can find her lost happiness with that lecherous bouzo.
I had ruined it again. Miroku had tried so hard to kiss Sango. They all had seen us kiss, even Shippo, that little runt. My cheeks flushed at that memory. Sango rejected him with a slap. That lecher just had to bring it up and say that Kagome and I had done it as well. We both blushed madly, I babbled something that I didn't even realize. I said, "Well, it wasn't like I liked it or anything." Just one sentence, and it earned me a good, hard 'sit'.
Kagome once said that she liked me in my hanyou form. She did not want me to change at all. Kagome said that I am strong enough as I am. I wasn't so sure about that. If I was, wouldn't I be able to protect her at all costs? She got hurt many times, such as when Kaguya sent back her purity arrow aiming for me. Kagome ran in front of me, her facing me. The arrow had shot her in the back. She used the rest of her strength and said that I had done a lot of reckless things for her as well. Then, she fainted.
Would this be called love? Do people do crazy things because of love?
She healed somehow while she was held captive by Kaguya. There was another time when Kohaku had slashed Kagome's right arm. She bled a lot. I wasn't there for her, again. I felt like I failed her many times, over and over again, with the same mistakes. I either wasn't quick enough or strong enough.
I remembered about my early childhood. Back then, I was rejected by everyone. All except my dear mother. She was the only one who truly loved me, and treated me like a real, living person. I had caused her pain though. Her pain was probably worse than mine.
She was born, a wealthy hime along with miko powers. My father, was a tai youkai. Although, I remember nothing of him of sort. My mother mentioned that he passed away in a war. She looked so sad and miserable. I wanted to make her happy. I never seen her once happy. She was always so sad.
Names were thrown at me. Half-breed, damn mongrel, filthy hanyou, those words upset me. At first, I didn't know what a half breed was. I distinctively asked my mother. Those words have made her cry, "Mother, what's a h-half- breed?" I stumbled with that foreign word. That simple question put her on the verge of tears.
I watched her cry when she thought she was alone. I hated that. Every time, I came in on her crying, she would swipe them away quickly and put on the happiest face she could. It was obvious that she had tears streaming down her eyes, since her eyes were all puffy and red.
I have grown use to them though and tried to ignore them as best as I could. Ignoring the insults at my mother, however, was difficult.
The other nobles had made fun of my mother. She was an outsider to them. All because she had me. They called her all sorts of horrible names. They had called her a whore for having me with a tai youkai.
Eventually, she died. So much pressure was put on her. Father's death, and now her. My only other family was now Sesshomuru. That bastard of a half- brother.
My father had come across his mother while she was in heat. And they had my half- brother. She died giving birth to him. Keh, he probably scratched his way out.
He left on his own, leaving me with no one to guide me. I had to survive on my own from then on.
It was difficult, but I survived it.
Then, I just realized. I'm not alone anymore. I was very alone with Kikyo, fifty years ago. Now, I have my friends. And her, Kagome. They made my life that much happier. Content and free.
I enjoyed all those times where Kagome and I embraced on rare occasions. She fit into my arms perfectly. Sometimes she even cried for the stupidest and obvious things, like how come I had to get hurt, for her? I would never forgive myself if I didn't sacrifice myself for her, and let her get hurt like that.
All those times when she fell sound asleep on his shoulder. One time, when Kagome had caught down with a cold and sneezed many times, she slept on my shoulder. She said that people must be gossiping about her, since she sneezed so much. I chuckled and said that no one would ever gossip about her. That was true. Any being who would ever gossip about her was insane.
I felt happy whenever she would hold my hand on her own accord. I didn't think anyone would do that. Her small, fragile hands fit into mine own.
Her smile. I loved her smile. It would brighten my day any day. Her smile was warm and comforting. It made my heart skip a beat.
I hated it when she cries. It makes me feel so guilty. However, every time when she crys, it seems to be my fault.
I seem to have a habit to get Kagome mad all the time. The anger inside her would burn up, which brought out the fiery spirit in her. I see that dangerous glint in her deep, chocolate brown eyes. She would put her hands on her hips and call me 'jerk'. After that, I earn myself a 'sit'. She looked very attractive whenever she was mad. It seemed to bring out the beauty in her. I would never admit that yet though. My ego would be damaged greatly, including some teasing from Miroku.
I missed her so much every time she went through the well to the present time. I would usually sit in the Goshinboku and think about her often. Or I sit by the well, wondering when she'll come back to me.
I felt relieved every time she came back. But, I obviously wouldn't show it. I had considered it a weak emotion. If so, then why is this feeling towards Kagome so strong?
I found out that Love can be a very powerful thing. It's not weak at all. Love is so beautiful. I would give anything to stay with Kagome. I would rather die than live without her. I wonder, how have I lived without her all these years?
These thoughts had tired me out even more. I felt myself lulling to slumberland.
My last thought going through my head was, "What did I do to deserve you, Kagome?" I breathed into her sweet, lulling scent and fell asleep with her in my arms.
^ - ^
A/N: So? What did you think of it? I thought it was a bit angsty on the mother part. Not as much, but for me. Did you know how hard it was for me to type the name, "Kikyo"? Her name was there in many sentences, as you have noticed.
Anyway, review, review, review! You're not getting away with it if you don't review! HA! Like, I have the power to do that...Damn. Review. Onegai? I really appreciate it if you do. Don't forget to check out my other fics! Ja!
This is my first one-shot!!!! _ ^ - ^
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Those Times
Summary: Inuyasha has come to realize something over time. "I realize that now, I-I love her........" ONE SHOT
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I wobbled a bit, using Tetsusiaga as a walking stick, to stable myself. I made my way into the cave, not wanting to get any more soaked from the rain outside.
I failed, once again. I had defeated the enemy though. But, I failed her.
Kagome laid there, breathing heavily. She had a huge gash on her left leg. It was deep and severe. Sango had removed her drenched clothes and covered her with a blanket.
Since my haori dried faster, I lent my haori to her. Sango carefully dressed Kagome in it. Then, laid her back down.
While Sango treated Kagome's wound, I was treated by Miroku. My chest and arms were filled with the demon's gashes. It had been a powerful neko demoness. She was very interested in Kagome's shards and went straight to her. I had blocked her continuously, but somehow her agile abilities made her past me.
My comrades had injuries as well, but not as deep as Kagome's was.
Sango had a broken ankle, whilst Miroku had a deep wound on his chest. After Sango and Miroku bandaged each other, they went to sleep. They were only humans, they needed lots of rest.
Shippo laid asleep with Kirara, sleeping soundly, hearing some soft purrs occasionally. They cuddled up with their warmth.
I made my way to Kagome's injured form. Not only did she have a severe wound on her leg, she also had small scratches from the neko demon, who was trying to gain the Shikon shards. Fortunately, she the scratches won't leave any ugly, pink scars. Since she is a miko, she will heal naturally and quicker than most humans.
I put a hand over her forehead, being careful of my sharp claws. She shivered a bit. She was cold. I had to keep her warm. I laid her limp form on my lap. I cradled her in my arms. She unconsciously snuggled closer to me, taking advantage of the body heat that was formed. A small smile was formed on her lips.
I couldn't help but do the same gesture. I laid my back against the cave wall and tried to rest my body. It would heal by tomorrow morning. I just hope everyone else would be alright.
I felt my eyelids heavy and closed. I didn't sleep though. I had too much going on my mind.
I can't stand it no more. I realized this just now. I couldn't believe that I haven't known this till now.
I love her.
Of course, we weren't on very good terms, the first time we met. I chuckled a bit. I was reborn into the world again. Yes, I opened my eyes for the first time in those long and short fifty years that I spent sleeping in an enchantment, to find this scrawny looking girl on the ground. She seemed to be out of breath, from running I suppose. She resembled so much like the one I once loved, even with those strange, skimpy clothes she wore from the future.
I had said that she's right, she's not Kikyo, Kikyo was much cuter. I had lied. Kikyo wasn't cuter, she was beautiful. And Kagome was also beautiful, but with a tinge of cuteness in her, which made her that much more beautiful.
Although, I had mistaken Kagome for Kikyo, there were differences between them.
Kikyo had longer and straight hair, whilst Kagome's were more wavy, and were up to her shoulder. My former love always had a serious expression on. Kagome was cheerful as ever.
I was always comparing Kagome with Kikyo. I didn't understand my feelings for her myself.
Kikyo and I had somehow grown to love each other over time. There were many rumors about the Shikon no Tama. I decided to see for myself if they were true as they were told.
At first when I attempted to steal the jewel, Kikyo shot me to a tree with several arrows. She didn't kill me though. In fact, she just walked away.
I was confused. So I decided to follow her. She had caught me while she was sitting on the hill staring out into the scenery, "Inuyasha, come join me." I was surprised a bit that she knew I was there. But, she was a miko, with her spiritual powers she could sense all kinds of demons, including myself.
I sat next to her, staring at her intently. She turned her head and stared into my own golden eyes. She looked so sad. Her eyes showed it all, the sadness in it. We were both alike, outsiders. Lonely and sad.
After that, I started following her all the time. She had asked me one time, would I like to stay with her. And become human for her. I agreed.
She wanted to have a normal life. As a priestess, she would never have a normal woman's life. If I had used the Shikon no Tama to become human for her, she wouldn't have to protect the jewel anymore. The jewel would be purified.
I hadn't given it a second thought before. Kikyo wanted me to change to a human to be with her. Did she not accept me as a hanyou? Maybe she was too ashamed to been seen with a lowly hanyou by all the villagers.
Kagome was different. She did not want me to change to a human for her. She accepted him in all of my forms, hanyou, human, and full youkai.
She still stayed with me to gather all the pieces of the shards, even after I tried to kill her. Well, I wasn't trying to kill her, but scare her so she would give up the precious jewel. Yet, it wasn't so precious anymore.
I had almost gotten the jewel until that baba chanted and flew beads around my neck. Kagome had thought of the stupidest word to subdue me, "Sit". My face plummeted into the ground, my new favorite friend, and still was, forever more. Kagome once said that the word, 'sit', suited me well. She said something about dogs and obeying their masters by sitting. I didn't understand the concept at first. I didn't want to ask her to make myself look stupid. But later on, I understood. With that subduing word and rosary, I couldn't threaten her no more. She had control over me. A mere human having control over a demon. Like at her time, a master over a dog. I would never sink as low to think I would be an obedient dog (me) to a master (Kagome). Then again, I practically MADE her to 'sit' me.
I was furious about the occasional 'sitting', of course. However, it wasn't that bad. If Kagome hadn't subdued me, we wouldn't be with each other, traveling and searching for the shards together. And, I wouldn't have grown to love again.
Demo, I was sort of happy that I was subdued, in a way. It connected me to Kagome. I wouldn't have learned to love Kagome. I would've just took the jewel and become the beast that I had become a few times before. I couldn't imagine that. It was too painful thinking about it.
The scared jewel had destroyed many lives, whether innocent or not. That's how Kikyo died. She's only a walking corpse now, with part of Kagome's soul. She is filled with hatred for me.
My first motive for the Shikon was to become a full-fledged demon, which would definitely give me the power that I desired for so long. However, the first few times I had lost Tetsusiaga and transformed, the experience was unforgettable.
I had no clue what had happened while I was a full blooded demon, that is, until I discovered the strong reek of fresh blood on my claws. I always had blood on my claws, after I de-transformed.
I was in horror after seeing so much people slaughtered, by me. The female villagers that were held hostage by the group of bandits were unharmed, and had become scared of me.
Kagome stayed by my side though. After an encounter with my bastard of a brother, I was injured very badly. I had vaguely heard Kagome shouting over me, telling my half-brother to stay away. She was protecting me. I was too paralyzed to move, to do anything.
After some words from that bastard, I felt sudden, intense pain all over my body. I had become a hanyou again, I guess.
I tried to wash the humans' blood off my claws in the river. Yet, they still reek of it, proving me as a murderer. I was ashamed and felt horrible. I slaughtered all of them, I gave them no mercy at all, those good for nothing bandits. Even they didn't deserve anything like this.
Kagome sat beside me and gave me a look. I didn't want her to pity me. But, she knew how I felt. She rested her head on my shoulder and reassured me. I put a hand over hers.
I worried. If I wasn't able to transform back to a hanyou again, would I hurt Kagome? I could've easily killed her. I didn't want that, not at all. I was scared, ever since from that experience.
She knew that I could kill her, but she stayed by my side. She promised that she won't leave my side no matter what the circumstances were. That gave my heart hope. I wonder if Kikyo would've done that, stay by my side no matter what. Or maybe she wouldn't hesitate to kill me. But she hadn't. She didn't hesitate, and shot the arrow to my chest.
It pierced me, physically and emotionally. We have easily betrayed each other. I learned that it wasn't really Naraku's fault at all. Kikyo and I didn't trust each other, and we eventually died. I learned that much from Naraku. Keh, who knew that I would learn something from that bastard.
Then, I was reborn fifty years later, by Kagome, Kikyo's reincarnation. She pulled the arrow out, and released the spell.
At the time where she had been controlled by the tainted shards in her throat, I stayed by Kagome. She was about to shoot an arrow at me. But, I didn't leave her, even if it meant myself dying. I didn't exactly understand that before. We trusted each other, which meant something. Our relationship was deeper than Kikyo's and mine.
However, I don't really know if Kagome loves me deeply as I do to her.
I hated it when Miroku touched Kagome's rear end, the first time we met. Of course, he only did it a couple of times at first.
He had averted his full attention to the skilled, female demon exterminator. He groped her all the time, to no one's surprise, in almost every possible inappropriate place. Sango didn't show it to the public that she kind of liked the lecherous, monk's attention. The way that they express their love, was obvious.
That wimpy wolf shows up all the time, where he wasn't needed. Keh, he was always unneeded.
I felt anger inside me every time that bastard of a wolf came and sweet- talked that shit to Kagome. It hadn't occurred to me that it was downright jealousy. Kagome always mentioned that. I cringed when Koga would take her small, delicate hands in his.
No one can touch MY Kagome. I had called her 'my' a lot of times lately. Of course, not out loud, I kept it to myself. I didn't realize it that much though. Back to Koga, my head felt like exploding every time he arrives in that ridiculous tornado of his. He probably does it to show off or something. That coward. He can't even defeat while he still has those two jewel shards jammed in his legs. That cheat.
It never occurred to me that Kagome get hurt emotionally, by me.
I had recklessly ran off to Kikyo, and Kagome somehow always gets hurt. All because of me. I vowed to Kikyo that I would protect her. But, I still had a lot of mixed feelings then. That one time, I forced Kikyo into a forceful embrace, and Kagome saw all of it. She ran off afterwards. I felt real guilty then.
I didn't even think that she would return to me. She had, the next day. I felt like I betrayed her. But, she came back, and stayed. Even when I had chose Kikyo back then.
I don't deserve Kagome. She went through all that pain, yet she remained by my side.
I remember when we have believed that we defeated Naraku, and came across Kaguya. That witch. She was almost like a female version of Naraku. She absorbed other youkai to remain strong and eternal youth. Disgusting.
She kept Kagome captive and assumed that she wanted to eat Kagome as well, for her spiritual powers. I wouldn't let that happen in a million years. I tried to take down Kaguya, as she trapped all my human blood in that mirror of hers.
I felt myself in two places. My human side in the mirror, and my demonic side. Most of my mind was in my demonic side though. Kaguya had tried to transform me into what I had desired deeply. A pure-blooded demon. I was hesitating. I tried so hard to force the demon inside me, back to where it was. Kagome ran to me, and shed tears.
She used her effort to change me back. I had dug my claws deeply into her shoulders. I shuddered. It was the most horrible feeling. I sank deeper and deeper into my demonic side, which had taken over most of me already.
Kagome made herself taller on her toes, and connected her lips with mine. I calmed down eventually and slowly reverted back to my hanyou self.
My hands loosened, she was wounded by my claws. I kissed her back. It was a great sensation. I never felt anything like it before. Her lips were soft and warm. It was a soft feeling. Her lips tasted like strawberry and a mixture of berries. It seemed to last forever.
The moment lasted while it could. I had to defeat Kaguya and Naraku. I had defeated Kaguya, but not Naraku. He escaped along with Kohaku. I saw Sango's face sadden at that time. I still feel real bad for her. I'm not pitying her or anything. Sango's a strong girl. But, I'm not so sure she can find her lost happiness with that lecherous bouzo.
I had ruined it again. Miroku had tried so hard to kiss Sango. They all had seen us kiss, even Shippo, that little runt. My cheeks flushed at that memory. Sango rejected him with a slap. That lecher just had to bring it up and say that Kagome and I had done it as well. We both blushed madly, I babbled something that I didn't even realize. I said, "Well, it wasn't like I liked it or anything." Just one sentence, and it earned me a good, hard 'sit'.
Kagome once said that she liked me in my hanyou form. She did not want me to change at all. Kagome said that I am strong enough as I am. I wasn't so sure about that. If I was, wouldn't I be able to protect her at all costs? She got hurt many times, such as when Kaguya sent back her purity arrow aiming for me. Kagome ran in front of me, her facing me. The arrow had shot her in the back. She used the rest of her strength and said that I had done a lot of reckless things for her as well. Then, she fainted.
Would this be called love? Do people do crazy things because of love?
She healed somehow while she was held captive by Kaguya. There was another time when Kohaku had slashed Kagome's right arm. She bled a lot. I wasn't there for her, again. I felt like I failed her many times, over and over again, with the same mistakes. I either wasn't quick enough or strong enough.
I remembered about my early childhood. Back then, I was rejected by everyone. All except my dear mother. She was the only one who truly loved me, and treated me like a real, living person. I had caused her pain though. Her pain was probably worse than mine.
She was born, a wealthy hime along with miko powers. My father, was a tai youkai. Although, I remember nothing of him of sort. My mother mentioned that he passed away in a war. She looked so sad and miserable. I wanted to make her happy. I never seen her once happy. She was always so sad.
Names were thrown at me. Half-breed, damn mongrel, filthy hanyou, those words upset me. At first, I didn't know what a half breed was. I distinctively asked my mother. Those words have made her cry, "Mother, what's a h-half- breed?" I stumbled with that foreign word. That simple question put her on the verge of tears.
I watched her cry when she thought she was alone. I hated that. Every time, I came in on her crying, she would swipe them away quickly and put on the happiest face she could. It was obvious that she had tears streaming down her eyes, since her eyes were all puffy and red.
I have grown use to them though and tried to ignore them as best as I could. Ignoring the insults at my mother, however, was difficult.
The other nobles had made fun of my mother. She was an outsider to them. All because she had me. They called her all sorts of horrible names. They had called her a whore for having me with a tai youkai.
Eventually, she died. So much pressure was put on her. Father's death, and now her. My only other family was now Sesshomuru. That bastard of a half- brother.
My father had come across his mother while she was in heat. And they had my half- brother. She died giving birth to him. Keh, he probably scratched his way out.
He left on his own, leaving me with no one to guide me. I had to survive on my own from then on.
It was difficult, but I survived it.
Then, I just realized. I'm not alone anymore. I was very alone with Kikyo, fifty years ago. Now, I have my friends. And her, Kagome. They made my life that much happier. Content and free.
I enjoyed all those times where Kagome and I embraced on rare occasions. She fit into my arms perfectly. Sometimes she even cried for the stupidest and obvious things, like how come I had to get hurt, for her? I would never forgive myself if I didn't sacrifice myself for her, and let her get hurt like that.
All those times when she fell sound asleep on his shoulder. One time, when Kagome had caught down with a cold and sneezed many times, she slept on my shoulder. She said that people must be gossiping about her, since she sneezed so much. I chuckled and said that no one would ever gossip about her. That was true. Any being who would ever gossip about her was insane.
I felt happy whenever she would hold my hand on her own accord. I didn't think anyone would do that. Her small, fragile hands fit into mine own.
Her smile. I loved her smile. It would brighten my day any day. Her smile was warm and comforting. It made my heart skip a beat.
I hated it when she cries. It makes me feel so guilty. However, every time when she crys, it seems to be my fault.
I seem to have a habit to get Kagome mad all the time. The anger inside her would burn up, which brought out the fiery spirit in her. I see that dangerous glint in her deep, chocolate brown eyes. She would put her hands on her hips and call me 'jerk'. After that, I earn myself a 'sit'. She looked very attractive whenever she was mad. It seemed to bring out the beauty in her. I would never admit that yet though. My ego would be damaged greatly, including some teasing from Miroku.
I missed her so much every time she went through the well to the present time. I would usually sit in the Goshinboku and think about her often. Or I sit by the well, wondering when she'll come back to me.
I felt relieved every time she came back. But, I obviously wouldn't show it. I had considered it a weak emotion. If so, then why is this feeling towards Kagome so strong?
I found out that Love can be a very powerful thing. It's not weak at all. Love is so beautiful. I would give anything to stay with Kagome. I would rather die than live without her. I wonder, how have I lived without her all these years?
These thoughts had tired me out even more. I felt myself lulling to slumberland.
My last thought going through my head was, "What did I do to deserve you, Kagome?" I breathed into her sweet, lulling scent and fell asleep with her in my arms.
^ - ^
A/N: So? What did you think of it? I thought it was a bit angsty on the mother part. Not as much, but for me. Did you know how hard it was for me to type the name, "Kikyo"? Her name was there in many sentences, as you have noticed.
Anyway, review, review, review! You're not getting away with it if you don't review! HA! Like, I have the power to do that...Damn. Review. Onegai? I really appreciate it if you do. Don't forget to check out my other fics! Ja!