Some dude/girl called Vil said he/she would extend the deaths, so here
goes:
"OI!" Harry Potter's Uncle Vernon Dursley was in a bad mood as usual, perhaps because of the stick up Vernon Dursley's behind. "HARRY POTTER, IF YOU DON'T STOP BEING SUCH A QUEER I WILL MAKE YOU LEAVE THIS ROOM"
Harry Potter was not used to being called such things as Queer before. He had no idea where this came from, especially as Harry Potter was wearing his most butch outfit, Harry Potter's pink kylie shorts and pink fluffy heels. Harry Potter left the room, swinging Harry Potter's hips around and tossing Harry Potter's head girlishly. Awkwardly, because of the heels, Harry Potter sat down on the grass outside, wishing that luuuuuuuuurvely song would come on, "It's raining men". Harry Potter went cross-eyed staring at Harry Potter's nose, wishing it were a different shape, not as Queer. Harry Potter stretched it out; wondering if Harry Potter ripped it off it would be better. Suddenly, a ginormous owl (For argument's sake, let's call this owl Kelvin) flew down and dropped a newspaper on Harry Potter's head. Harry Potter glanced at the front page, threw it aside, and then, realising what it said, snatched it back up. "You're not. please. tell me. NO. tell me it's not true!" Suddenly Harry Potter started bawling his eyeballs out. The headline of the newspaper reads: "GINGER SPICE LEAVES SPICE GIRLS AND OTHERS SPLIT" Harry Potter was too overcome with sadness that he didn't notice the 5 foot barn owl called Kelvin pecking Harry Potter's head for the money. The owl called Kelvin pecked Harry Potter's head so hard that Harry Potter had a brain haemorrhage and died. The owl called Kelvin was starving, with no money, so it ate Harry Potter. Harry Potter died. All the people from CSI came down and put Vernon Dursley in prison for eating Harry Potter, using large, foot long suspiciously Owl called Kelvin-like incisors.
"OI!" Harry Potter's Uncle Vernon Dursley was in a bad mood as usual, perhaps because of the stick up Vernon Dursley's behind. "HARRY POTTER, IF YOU DON'T STOP BEING SUCH A QUEER I WILL MAKE YOU LEAVE THIS ROOM"
Harry Potter was not used to being called such things as Queer before. He had no idea where this came from, especially as Harry Potter was wearing his most butch outfit, Harry Potter's pink kylie shorts and pink fluffy heels. Harry Potter left the room, swinging Harry Potter's hips around and tossing Harry Potter's head girlishly. Awkwardly, because of the heels, Harry Potter sat down on the grass outside, wishing that luuuuuuuuurvely song would come on, "It's raining men". Harry Potter went cross-eyed staring at Harry Potter's nose, wishing it were a different shape, not as Queer. Harry Potter stretched it out; wondering if Harry Potter ripped it off it would be better. Suddenly, a ginormous owl (For argument's sake, let's call this owl Kelvin) flew down and dropped a newspaper on Harry Potter's head. Harry Potter glanced at the front page, threw it aside, and then, realising what it said, snatched it back up. "You're not. please. tell me. NO. tell me it's not true!" Suddenly Harry Potter started bawling his eyeballs out. The headline of the newspaper reads: "GINGER SPICE LEAVES SPICE GIRLS AND OTHERS SPLIT" Harry Potter was too overcome with sadness that he didn't notice the 5 foot barn owl called Kelvin pecking Harry Potter's head for the money. The owl called Kelvin pecked Harry Potter's head so hard that Harry Potter had a brain haemorrhage and died. The owl called Kelvin was starving, with no money, so it ate Harry Potter. Harry Potter died. All the people from CSI came down and put Vernon Dursley in prison for eating Harry Potter, using large, foot long suspiciously Owl called Kelvin-like incisors.