Summary: Max goes to visit Joshua.
Disclaimer: James Cameron and Charles Eglee own Dark Angel. There are some quotes which I borrowed from the show and which belong to those dudes I just mentioned. I'm not making any profit from this so you can't sue me. So I guess, since the show's been axed, the only money pouring their way is from the DVDs, huh? Well, I'm not gonna buy them coz I have most of S1 on tape anyway. S2, on the other hand, I want all the earlier eps when Alec has more lines and Max has more interaction with him. Does anyone else notice how M/A scenes kind of disappear in the middle of the season (starting from Borrowed Time) only to re-emerge sporadically in Hello, Goodbye (which is an EXCELLENT ep, btw) and LATR. I know, I know, that DA's not all about shipper moments, but I just got the feeling that the Powers That Be (ie. writers/producers/whatever) kind of wanna brush off Alec's role after he (I'm sure) won the audience's adoration with his early eps. Scared that audience would be swooning over the yummy new Alec and forgot about (gasp!) the great Eyes Only?? Look, basically for me, M/L lost its appeal after they dragged on and on after Blah2x Woof2x. Oh yeah, I've decided to include Log-boy in my story. He's gonna be in the next chapter.
A/N: Geez, I always write long disclaimers, don't I? I'm so glad people like my Syl & Krit! I wasn't sure, coz afterwards I read how some sites described Syl as the order-following type of gal and how she was pure Manticore. Oh well, I'm just gonna justify that by saying that there are two sides of Syl: her soldier side which comes up during mission and her fun human side. Anyway, I dreaded writing this chapter, which is why it takes me such a long time. It's all very boring and confusing (as you'll find) but I just can't find any other way to tell it. Basically, I think this part's important to bring the story along. The next part'll be more exciting, I promise!
Chapter 5: Of Mixed Colors and Memories.
"Joshua? Are you home?" Max yells out as she reaches Joshua's place. Her big fella has taken residence in one of the better run-down apartments near HQ (she'd made sure of that).
She cautiously steps through his living room. The place is littered with spilled paints, dirty rags, and crumpled papers. On the easel is Joshua's new creation. It looks sort of rainbow-like, with lots of vibrant colors everywhere. Max has no idea what it is. Oh well, her big fella' will have some deep and meaningful explanation to give her. That's why she loves him so much. Underneath that childlike innocence, Joshua can be very sensitive and perceptive about life.
Then again, he's always going to be her lovable half-canine transgenic. She smiles when she sees a half-eaten bowl of Mac & Cheese and an unopened pack of Ding-Dongs on his desk. She walks to his bedroom.
"Joshua? Are you there? Josh…" Max stops when she sees the image before her. There, on the bed, Joshua is sleeping – drool threatening to drip from one corner of his mouth – with one arm around a baby; Gem's baby to be exact. Gem had named her Liberty since she was born on the day the transgenics broke free and declared themselves to the world. Max isn't sure if the transgenics could proclaim to have 'liberty' – since their whole population are now besieged in a very small part of the city – but it was a nice homage to the fact that even transgenics wish to enjoy the basic American right to freedom.
Joshua was immediately excited when he heard that there was to be a baby in TC and went out of his way to welcome the newborn. Gem was really smitten when Joshua was able to make Liberty smile by making silly faces. Since then, she often asks Joshua to baby-sit.
Max walks over to her big fella and brings one hand to wipe the drool from his face. Joshua stirs in response and opens his eyes.
"Hey, big fella," she whispers quietly. Joshua smiles up to her but puts one finger in front of his lips and points to the baby. He gets up and she follows him to the door.
Only after he's completely closed the door does Joshua give Max a big hug. "Little fella's ok! Joshua was worried. Gem was worried. Liberty was worried. Wouldn't stop crying, waaa waaa waaa…"
"Yeah, I'm fine big fella. Just had to take some time off, that's all."
"Alec told me of your condition."
"Yeah, well Max thinks Alec should keep his yap shut," Max says under her breath. She pulls Joshua to the living room.
"It's ok, lil' fella. Heat makes you special. All X5s has it. Max and Alec are just normal X5s."
"It's not normal, Joshua. It's a sick and twisted condition that Manticore put in us."
"But it will cheer you up. Max needs some fun in her life. Getting busy with Alec will make you happy."
Max almost chokes on that, "Alec has other girls to make 'happy'."
"Alec was worried about Max. He thought you'd be angry. Alec cares about little fella."
Yeah, he told me that. What the hell does it mean though? How can he care about me? I've been such a bitch to him! And we always get on each other's nerves. Damn, I don't understand this!
"Uh, look Joshua, I really don't want to talk about it. Can we just go sit on the couch and hang out?"
"Ok, big fella's going to make his little fella some hot cocoa. Chocolate makes everything ok." Joshua rushes over to the kitchen while Max lies down on the sofa.
"Where'd you hear that?"
"Gem."
"You've been hanging out with her a lot, haven't you?"
"Gem needs help with Liberty."
"How is she?"
"Liberty won't stop crying. Joshua's the only one who can stop her. Gem said Liberty likes my doggy face."
Max is a bit surprised by that last statement. Usually, Joshua tends to growl at anyone mentioning his canine predispositions. It amazes her how her big fella has grown to accept his identity ever since he moved in with the other 'freaks' in TC.
Joshua comes back to the living room carrying a cup of steaming liquid. Max sits up and takes the cup from him.
"I'm glad that you're happy, big fella. I'm sorry I kept you at that house for so long. It's just that…"
"I know, I know, people are afraid of things they don't understand…"
"Still, I'm sorry that I forced you to stay there. I should've sent you to TC sooner…"
"It's ok. Max was just trying to protect me."
She takes a sip from the cup and turns toward the painting. "So whatcha painting here, big fella?"
"Max's siblings. This is you…" Joshua points to a point in the painting dabbed with a combination of bluish color. "Max needs other colors. Syl and Krit are rainbows. They bring colors to your life."
"Well, what about here?" Max points to a point near the bluish color where's there's a blend of purple, slightly darker than the blue.
"That's Alec. He's too similar to you. You need brighter colors to acknowledge the purple."
Yeah, well I certainly acknowledged his presence, three days ago. "Listen, Joshua. Do you think I can crash here? I'm beat." Max starts to lie back down on the couch, closing her eyes. Shark DNA or not, her heat was exhausting, especially since she didn't get to satisfy it.
"Little fella sleeps. Joshua will paint." The dog transgenic picks up his paint and starts to dab yellow paint on the canvass. "Yellow will bring out the purple."
His only response is a very light snore on the part of Max.
Darkness.
Flashes of images; images she recognizes.
*
First time she met Logan.
"Probably the most singularly beautiful face I've ever seen."
*
Her first kiss with Logan.
"Someone has to watch out for the downtrodden. Blah, blah, woof, woof, right?"
*
When Logan asked her out for a date.
"My cousin's wedding is tomorrow night. I was going to ask you to be my date."
*
Her constant denial about Logan.
"I've seen the way you two look at each other."
"We're not like that."
*
Her last moment with Logan before she died.
"There's something I've got to tell you. I should've said something a long time ago."
*
First time she met Alec.
"We're supposed to copulate every night until you get pregnant."
"That's sick!"
" Take off your clothes."
*
When she learned of the virus
" You killed him… A genetically targeted retrovirus. You're the carrier."
*
When Alec made her lose her chance with the virus.
" That guy was the last chance for me and Logan. He's gone, and it's your fault. Don't think I'm ever getting over that."
*
Problems with her relationship with Logan.
" It's hard to explain. It's like...it's too intense. Sometimes I think maybe we're just not meant to be."
*
Venting off about Alec to Logan.
"It was your heist. You were there first."
"That's what I said! And I bet you he was gonna take whatever he got from it and blow it on hookers and beer."
*
OC's unwanted comment about Alec.
"He's from Manticore, huh? Say what you want--they sure know how to make 'em pretty."
*
Increasing tension with Logan.
" Here's an idea. Instead of busting my chops because I can't do two things at once, why don't you do something about it?"
*
Possibility of staying away from Logan.
" I don't want to risk hurting him again...but that means not seeing him at all. What am I supposed to do? Give him up?"
*
More time than she wants to spend with Alec.
" Give it up, Alec. The two of you would never work."
" Yeah, you're right. I always do this. I always go for the ones I can't have."
*
More complaining about Alec to Logan.
" Ah, the latest adventures of Alec, the lovable X-5 rogue. I can hardly wait."
" Like an idiot, he mixes business with pleasure and--typically--screwed the whole thing up. It's not like he wasn't taught better. You think they encouraged dating within your unit at Manticore? They didn't."
*
OC notices something.
" What's up with your boy?"
"He's not my boy, and I don't know."
*
Alec's not all 'pretty colors'.
"You wouldn't understand. You ran. You and your little rugrat brothers and sisters. You think life was rough when we were ten? Later on, it got a whole lot worse."
*
The beginning of a friendship with Alec?
"You're all right?"
"I'm always all right."
*
When she finally got her (limited) chance with Logan.
" We've been waiting for the right time. Here it is."
*
After she and Logan used up their 'borrowed time'.
"That year we wasted, dancing around each other, afraid of actually admitting how we felt…If I had that time back, I would do that so differently."
*
Complaining some more to Logan about Alec.
" He was yapping the entire time."
"He's a yapper. (Chuckles) Yeah, stuck in the closet with Alec--you're pretty much describing my worst nightmare."
*
Telling Alec her deep-kept secret about Ben.
"I killed him. He asked me to, so I did. And then I ran. I saved myself. And I just left his body there for them to take away."
"Max, I'm sorry."
*
Bonding with Alec.
"Yeah. That's probably why I'm such a bitch to you sometimes."
"Maybe… Or, you know, maybe 'cause I'm such a pain in the ass sometimes."
(Smiles) " Be careful."
"Always."
*
Breaking it off with Logan.
"Tell me it's not true."
"I can't… It's over. We're done. Get used to it."
*
Telling Alec about her lie to Logan.
"Why do you have to drag me into it?"
"I had to push him away."
"Yeah, so blame Alec, 'cause he's just the kind of jerk that'd steal another guy's girl."
"Please don't."
"Max, whatever's going on with you and Logan has nothing to do with me, okay? I'm not going to be the bad guy."
*
Alec actually sacrificing his reputation to help her.
"You're right. I mean, you had to say something. Only, you didn't push him away. I'm not sure what could. He let go, because he wanted you to be happy… Now, don't start crying on me, 'cause he said I had to take care of you."
*
One of her last happy moments with Logan.
" Now look what you've done."
*
When Logan's health deteriorated.
"I'll be fine, Max. We'll get through this."
" It's not worth it. You've gotta go."
*
Her last goodbye with Logan.
" I'll never give up, Max."
" Goodbye, Logan."
*
Her recent 'development' with Alec.
"Max, you have no idea how much I want this. But it's different with you."
"Why?!? Why the hell is it different?!?"
" It's different because I actually care about you!"
*
Seeing Logan after her latest heat.
"I still love you, Max."
(Voice breaking) "This will never work, Logan. Forget about us."
*
Faster flashes of images, culminating with images of Logan and Alec. Then…
Darkness.
A voice, one that she recognises as her own, speaks up, "Who's it gonna be, Max?"
*
Max abruptly opens her eyes. She gasps for breath, her body automatically sitting up from her sleeping position.
She breathes heavily, sweat drenching her face. Her eyes are starting to focus. She looks around. A room, old rattled furniture, messy floor, huge colourful painting in front of her. Her mind starts to register. Joshua's living room.
She looks down. She is sitting on a sofa, wool blanket covering half of her body. She still breathes heavily and she feels really hot from hyperventilation.
I was dreaming! It was all a stupid damn dream… Oh God, what does it mean, though?
Like a typical X5 who tends to lash out when anxious, Max feels the impulse to punch something to clear her head.
I've gotta get out of here…
She calls out for Joshua but finds no answer. Forget it, I need to get out of here NOW. Max agitatedly leaps off from the sofa and dashes out of Joshua's apartment, feeling the incredible urge to beat the crap out of something.
A/N: I know how readers hate too many quotes, but I just can't find another way to tell it. Just think of it as a trivia game, 'k? Try to guess which quote comes from whom and from which ep. For me, they can actually demonstrate how Max's relationships with Logan and Alec have progressed during the show. Now, basically, I'm M/A (and this story WILL DEFINITELY be M/A). So I'm sorry for all the M/L scenes up there (I think you do have to shoot me, Jenn!), but let's face it, they were present in the show, so I couldn't totally ignore it. Since I have completely forgotten all 'significant' M/L scenes (yeah, they made no impression on me whatsoever), I got some of them from the 'M/L fave moments' board in the Broken World (). Check it out, it's a great site for all DA shippers (even M/W!). And I got all the quotes from the episode transcripts at which were very comprehensive! Oh yeah, and there are obviously some quotes that you may not recognize. I basically made up all the post-FN ones. The one with Alec is from chapter 3 of my story. And that last one with Logan, it's basically from when she met him after this heat. Yeah, I'm gonna explain that in the next chapter.
What else? Yeah, it was really hard for me to write Joshua. So tell me how I went, 'k? And I know nothin' about art, so I dunno if Joshua's painting made sense.
Oh, and special thanks for the anonymous reviewer (why don't you give a name?) who'd gave a lot of interesting suggestions about Max's siblings. I dunno, what I'm gonna do exactly. It's best that I don't plan my storyline extensively, coz I find it better for me to write as I go, just adding whatever pops into my head. But I'm definitely gonna feature one, if not, some of them.