Author: DJRocky99
Description: I'm a sarcastic, cynical, occasionally humorous person who enjoys making fun of other things. The Moulin Rouge is good, but not good enough to escape my wrath...
Disclaimer: I still own nothing...and chances are it'll always be that way.
Rewind: When we last left the story, Satine and Christian had just arrived in Suzy...(yes, folks, that's right...the elephant has a name)...and Toulouse and the other Bohemians are discussing the night so far.
Chapter Five-This Is Your Thong
~=~=~=~=~
(Toulouse, moodily): Unbelievable! Straight to Suzy. Speaking of Suzy, WHO IN THE HELL NAMES THEIR HOUSE THAT'S SHAPED LIKE AN ELEPHANT?
(Djrocky99): All of the Bohos take a step back from Toulouse, just in case.
(Toulouse, to Sadie, while digging through purse): I think I have a quarter in here. Will you do me a favor and run down to the ladies' room and grab me a...never mind! Why am I even talking? Cut!
~=~=~=~=~
(Satine, who has yet another wedgey): Soooo, Christian, is this, like, poetic, or like, what?
(Christian, while scuffing his shoe on the floor): Yeah, like totally, and you're, like, 14, like, right?
(Satine): Pardon?
(Christian, grinning): It sure is! Let's just get it over with, shall we?
(Djrocky99): Now Satine, who is, well let's say a few fries short of a Happy Meal, has no clue that Christian, who isn't the Duke, isn't here to sleep with her, but is here to actually read poetry, and isn't just using some odd codeword or something.
(Satine, moderately offended): Oh really? Well. Fine. Let's just DO IT then, shall we? The bed is over here, by the way.
(Christian, who is also clueless): Yes, it's a beautiful bed, but I like to do it standing, thankyouverymuch.
(Satine, now a little bit more offended): Erm, ok. I guess.
(Christian, who is afraid that he has offended her, but for a different reason): Oh! You don't have to stand if you don't want to. I mean, back in my country, the men always stand and the women sit. It's just how it's done over there. But whatever you want to do. You know, this is totally about you, after all!
(Djrocky99): At this point, the leather thong that Satine so...ummm...tastefully picked out has ridden so far UP, it's nearing the "point of no return."
She plops down on the bed and tries, discreetly at first at least, to get it out.
(Satine, moaning): Ow!
(Christian, sputtering): The sky...the sky beyond the door...is blue.
(Satine, who is now starting to get angry): Ow! No, really?
(Christian, confused): Um is everything all right? You sound like you're in pain.
(Satine): Took you damn long enough, Sherlock. Get over here and help me, would you!
~=~=~=~=~
(Djrocky99): Zidler finally decided to check up on his little garbanzo bean and the Duke (or so he thought.) Being the peeping tom he is (literally) he just so happened to have a high-powered telescope that he pointed towards Suzy's right eye (Satine's bedroom).
(Zidler, who is, of course, also clueless): Aw look at them; they're so cute! What's this? The Duke I spoke with earlier was 19 years older and had a rat tail glued to his upper lip. But the Duke in their now is different looking. I wonder.
(Djrocdky99): Zidler stood there for 5 minutes trying to make some sort of connection, or to even figure out if he had an imposter on his hands.
He eventually came to the conclusion that even if that guy in Suzy was an imposter, he was still a fine hunk of masculinity. Zidler jumped down the fire pole (he had installed in the peeping tom room in case just such an occasion arose) and headed straight for Satine's room.
~=~=~=~=~
(Christian, grunting): Wow. I've seen a lot of wedgies in my day, but never one this deep!
(Satine): Ow! I don't care! Ow! GET IT OUT!
(Christian, with one final pull at the edge of Satine's thong): UMPH!
(Djrocky99): Unfortunately for Christian, he pulled it loose, and he ended up shooting backwards and smashing into the wall. Satine was now in need of pants, since her thong had snapped. She wrapped herself up in a cover (before Christian could look) for the time being.
(Christian): This calls for a celebration!
(Satine, unhappily slipping in a near by closet to put on a pair of jeans): Great. And by celebration, you mean that you're going to sing, don't you?
(Christian, exuberantly): How'd you guess?
It's a little bit funny
This feeling inside
The feeling I had while your
Thong was trying to hide.
If I were a doctor
But then again, no.
Or even a sideshow freak
In a traveling show.
I know it wasn't much
But it was the best that I could do
This is your thong, yeah,
And I got it out for you!
And you can tell everybody
That this is your thong!
It may be quite large, yeah
But now that it's gone
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I sell it on Ebay
Cuz' anything that's ever touched your butt will be worth cash someday!
Went to Vicky's Secret
Almost bought this same pair for myself
But suddenly I remembered:
"Penniless existence means no wealth!"
But since you have them
I don't need the same pair
Oh and what's the name
Of the color in your hair?
So excuse me for forgetting
These things I do
Hey, this color thong is awesome
A mixture of green and blue!
Anyway, the thing that I really mean:
Your thong's the greatest that I've ever seen!
And you can tell everybody
That this is your thong!
It may be quite large, yeah
But now that it's gone
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I sell it on Ebay
Cuz' anything that's ever touched your butt will be worth cash someday!
[End Song Sequence.THAT MEANS WAKE UP TIME, EVERYONE!]
(Bohos, all teary eyed): He sure is something with the ladies!
~=~=~=~=~
(A/N)...Hey everyone! I swear on all that is good and holy that I won't be so negligent anymore!
I'm sorry this chapter digressed so much. It was a weird one to work with, lol. So if anyone is displeased with this chapter, I totally agree!
Anyways, apology list: My loyal fans, the entire cast, Elton John, anyone I may have offended, and all references made to various sources (too many to list). More soon!
Description: I'm a sarcastic, cynical, occasionally humorous person who enjoys making fun of other things. The Moulin Rouge is good, but not good enough to escape my wrath...
Disclaimer: I still own nothing...and chances are it'll always be that way.
Rewind: When we last left the story, Satine and Christian had just arrived in Suzy...(yes, folks, that's right...the elephant has a name)...and Toulouse and the other Bohemians are discussing the night so far.
Chapter Five-This Is Your Thong
~=~=~=~=~
(Toulouse, moodily): Unbelievable! Straight to Suzy. Speaking of Suzy, WHO IN THE HELL NAMES THEIR HOUSE THAT'S SHAPED LIKE AN ELEPHANT?
(Djrocky99): All of the Bohos take a step back from Toulouse, just in case.
(Toulouse, to Sadie, while digging through purse): I think I have a quarter in here. Will you do me a favor and run down to the ladies' room and grab me a...never mind! Why am I even talking? Cut!
~=~=~=~=~
(Satine, who has yet another wedgey): Soooo, Christian, is this, like, poetic, or like, what?
(Christian, while scuffing his shoe on the floor): Yeah, like totally, and you're, like, 14, like, right?
(Satine): Pardon?
(Christian, grinning): It sure is! Let's just get it over with, shall we?
(Djrocky99): Now Satine, who is, well let's say a few fries short of a Happy Meal, has no clue that Christian, who isn't the Duke, isn't here to sleep with her, but is here to actually read poetry, and isn't just using some odd codeword or something.
(Satine, moderately offended): Oh really? Well. Fine. Let's just DO IT then, shall we? The bed is over here, by the way.
(Christian, who is also clueless): Yes, it's a beautiful bed, but I like to do it standing, thankyouverymuch.
(Satine, now a little bit more offended): Erm, ok. I guess.
(Christian, who is afraid that he has offended her, but for a different reason): Oh! You don't have to stand if you don't want to. I mean, back in my country, the men always stand and the women sit. It's just how it's done over there. But whatever you want to do. You know, this is totally about you, after all!
(Djrocky99): At this point, the leather thong that Satine so...ummm...tastefully picked out has ridden so far UP, it's nearing the "point of no return."
She plops down on the bed and tries, discreetly at first at least, to get it out.
(Satine, moaning): Ow!
(Christian, sputtering): The sky...the sky beyond the door...is blue.
(Satine, who is now starting to get angry): Ow! No, really?
(Christian, confused): Um is everything all right? You sound like you're in pain.
(Satine): Took you damn long enough, Sherlock. Get over here and help me, would you!
~=~=~=~=~
(Djrocky99): Zidler finally decided to check up on his little garbanzo bean and the Duke (or so he thought.) Being the peeping tom he is (literally) he just so happened to have a high-powered telescope that he pointed towards Suzy's right eye (Satine's bedroom).
(Zidler, who is, of course, also clueless): Aw look at them; they're so cute! What's this? The Duke I spoke with earlier was 19 years older and had a rat tail glued to his upper lip. But the Duke in their now is different looking. I wonder.
(Djrocdky99): Zidler stood there for 5 minutes trying to make some sort of connection, or to even figure out if he had an imposter on his hands.
He eventually came to the conclusion that even if that guy in Suzy was an imposter, he was still a fine hunk of masculinity. Zidler jumped down the fire pole (he had installed in the peeping tom room in case just such an occasion arose) and headed straight for Satine's room.
~=~=~=~=~
(Christian, grunting): Wow. I've seen a lot of wedgies in my day, but never one this deep!
(Satine): Ow! I don't care! Ow! GET IT OUT!
(Christian, with one final pull at the edge of Satine's thong): UMPH!
(Djrocky99): Unfortunately for Christian, he pulled it loose, and he ended up shooting backwards and smashing into the wall. Satine was now in need of pants, since her thong had snapped. She wrapped herself up in a cover (before Christian could look) for the time being.
(Christian): This calls for a celebration!
(Satine, unhappily slipping in a near by closet to put on a pair of jeans): Great. And by celebration, you mean that you're going to sing, don't you?
(Christian, exuberantly): How'd you guess?
It's a little bit funny
This feeling inside
The feeling I had while your
Thong was trying to hide.
If I were a doctor
But then again, no.
Or even a sideshow freak
In a traveling show.
I know it wasn't much
But it was the best that I could do
This is your thong, yeah,
And I got it out for you!
And you can tell everybody
That this is your thong!
It may be quite large, yeah
But now that it's gone
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I sell it on Ebay
Cuz' anything that's ever touched your butt will be worth cash someday!
Went to Vicky's Secret
Almost bought this same pair for myself
But suddenly I remembered:
"Penniless existence means no wealth!"
But since you have them
I don't need the same pair
Oh and what's the name
Of the color in your hair?
So excuse me for forgetting
These things I do
Hey, this color thong is awesome
A mixture of green and blue!
Anyway, the thing that I really mean:
Your thong's the greatest that I've ever seen!
And you can tell everybody
That this is your thong!
It may be quite large, yeah
But now that it's gone
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That I sell it on Ebay
Cuz' anything that's ever touched your butt will be worth cash someday!
[End Song Sequence.THAT MEANS WAKE UP TIME, EVERYONE!]
(Bohos, all teary eyed): He sure is something with the ladies!
~=~=~=~=~
(A/N)...Hey everyone! I swear on all that is good and holy that I won't be so negligent anymore!
I'm sorry this chapter digressed so much. It was a weird one to work with, lol. So if anyone is displeased with this chapter, I totally agree!
Anyways, apology list: My loyal fans, the entire cast, Elton John, anyone I may have offended, and all references made to various sources (too many to list). More soon!