========== Crazy Degrassi Day ==========
Hola! Como estas?! Mi? Oh I'm super, thanks for asking! Anywhoo, I'm in shock that people are still reviewing for this fic, and I'm actually very pleased as well. Imagine that! Muaha, well it's back by popular demand and the sheer fact that I feel like making fun of Degrassi at the moment!
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Of course I don't OWN Degrassi, that's just silly.
***
Ellie was curious to see where Marco had run off to so she walked to the zen garden, knowing that he might be there. When she rounded the corner she spotted Marco and Jimmy kissing like mad-pixies.
"Oh, geez." Ellie shielded her eyes but Marco and Jimmy just ignored her. She soon got into it and sat on the bench next to the fairy boys and watched intently. "This is so amazing."
Meanwhile, after the initial shock deserted the Degrassi bunch (which happened quickly), Ashley decided to make her move on Craig. She strutted over there, big belly and all, and batted her eyelashes. "Hi there, Craiggy."
"Er, hi Ashley." He replied, eyeing her warily.
"I was wondering, since you're so hot, and I'm so hot, then maybe you'd wanna go to the movies, where subsequently we'd go back to my house and make out on my bed and come close to having sex but instead make big balloon animals out of condoms?" Ashley smiled sweetly.
"But, Ashley, aren't you in labor?" Craig said, looking down, rather scared.
"What are you talking about?" Ashley asked him, apparently confused. He stared down between her legs.
"You like what you see?" Ashley cooed.
He pointed down between her legs and Ashley rolled her eyes and finally stared down between her legs to see a baby's head peeping out from beneath her dress. "Oh god, that?"
"Um, yeah Ashley there's a baby between your thighs!" Craig cried.
"Yeah and if you play your cards right maybe you'll be between my thighs." She stroked his cheek and Craig did that whimpering thing again.
With a loud thump a 10-pound-baby fell onto the floor. Ashley giggled. "Get that for me will you Diedre?" Ashley yelled to Craig.
"What?" Craig asked.
"The baby you dumb-ass." Ashley punched his shoulder. "Get the fucking baby."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I said so, now get the baby!" She pointed to the wriggling thing on the floor, Ashley's legs now spread far apart.
"How?" Craig asked. He didn't even know which part was the head and which part was it's rear-end.
"Diedre! Get the baby!"
"Who?"
"Oh, sorry, I mean Craig. I've watched Monty Python too many times." Ashley laughed.
"When?"
"What are you, a fucking reporter? You've asked the five extended W's already! Well, minus where but that doesn't matter. You have to spank my baby, and um, later you can give me a spanking how would you like that huh, you dirty boy?" She hinted, inching closer to him, never minding the baby that was not making any noise beneath her.
Craig then picked up the baby and smacked it hard. The dark brown thing suddenly made an awful wailing noise. "Are you sure it's human?"
"Of course it's human, but you just smacked it in the face! How would you feel if someone did that to you?" And instead of waiting for him to answer, she smacked him in the face as well. He made a noise identical to the baby's and soon there were two wailing pussy's in the room.
"Oh! It's a girl!" Ashley cradled her bloody, naked baby. She started singing her a song that sounded oddly familiar to everyone.
"Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed, to know? That something wasn't right yeah? Oh baby, baby I shouldn't have let you go. And now you're out of sight yeah!" She sang. Spinner was aroused by this his boner grew again. Toothless Paige, tired from all the chaos that occurred that day, sat on it and wiped her brow.
"Ash, I thought you said you weren't pregnant." Toothless Paige pointed out. She looked at the baby with an expression of pure disgust. The baby's face had gotten all distorted from Craig's hand slapping it in the face.
"I guess I was. How was I supposed to know?" Ashley shrugged.
"It looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Gary Coleman." Toothless Paige laughed, Spinner laughed too making Toothless Paige bounce around.
"Spinner, cut it out." Toothless Paige snapped at him.
Terri rounded the corner, now eating some coleslaw from a gigantic slop bucket and sat by on the nearest bench. The Boner Bench! So now Toothless Paige and Terri were both sitting on Spinner's huge boner.
"This is exciting." Spinner giggled.
Ashley was tickling Craig, who was whimpering uncomfortably. Terri tossed some coleslaw on Craig's inky curls and blushed. Craig was now crying, all he wanted to do was go home.
"What's wrong, sugar tits?" Ashley questioned, licking his tears. Craig sobbed and his nose ran, Ashley licked that as well.
Terri got up from the Boner Bench; soon replaced by Sean who was tired from all the not-seeing and not-hearing crap. "I wanna go howme."
"Me too!!!" Craig cried. Terri was now sitting on top of him and feeding him coleslaw, making him lick her fingers. Ashley was cradling her baby and massaging Craig's feet.
Then, Toby and Kendra walked around one of the many corner's of Degrassi Community School, Kendra sporting a large stomach identical to Ashley's before she gave birth to Laqueefa.
"Laqueefa?" Toothless Paige snorted. Ashley smacked her with some spare coleslaw from Craig's hair.
"What happened to you?" Toothless Paige asked Kendra, wiping off the coleslaw that landed on her mullet.
"Piercing accident. I'm never going to Ellie's uncle again." Kendra shook her head.
Ashley was now smoking a cigarette. "Yeah, but ain't he great in bed?"
"Oh yeah." Kendra nodded. This made Spinner's boner deplete instantly causing Sean and Toothless Paige to fall onto the floor. ("What the foouck!?" Sean cried)
"You slept with another man, my pet?" Toby sniffled.
"It's not my fault. His pot-belly is just so freakin' hot!" Kendra giggled. Ashley agreed with her and soon they were in a long discussion about how the sex went.
"Oh my word, you mean Laqueefa is not mine? YIPEE!!" Jimmy jumped into the air, his Care Bears shirt lifting up, revealing his pierced nipples. Marco caught him and pinched his butt.
"You little bitch! You had sex with Ashley?" Marco's large eyes were moist.
"Eww! No!" Jimmy cringed.
"Then what do you mean Laqueefa isn't yours? The only way for her to be yours is if you had sex." Marco shook his head, his hands on his hips.
Ashley eyed Jimmy with a look of such hatred it was incomprehensible. Jimmy cowered in fear. "I-I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay, that's good enough for me." Marco shrugged.
Manny and Emma had now found there way to Craig as well and they had stripped him down until he was only in his plaid boxers. Manny's lips had stopped bleeding but they still were disgusting and non-existent. Emma's boobs were just as disgusting and non-existent as Manny's lips, but they both thought they were sexy beats.
"I am a sexy beast!" They cried. See?
Craig was shouting with pain. "Please, get off of me! I'm not used to this attention! Leave me alone! Mommy!"
Toothless Paige, feeling sorry for the innocent, virginal Craig, blasted away all the chicks on him with a .45, now there were four bloody carcasses on the floor of Degrassi school and one wailing Laqueefa.
Paige picked up Laqueefa by the head, smacking her Bubblicious gum, and handed it to Craig. "Now that I killed its bitch mother, you have to take care of it."
Craig nodded, a small smile on his face. "Thank you Paige." He then began breast-feeding the hungry baby.
BRIIIIIIING! The bell rang and thus ended the extremely crazy Degrassi day.
***
YES! I am through! This is not a stroke of genius, but enough to make you laugh at how completely idiotic everything is. Hopefully this will be enough to sustain those who actually liked my story and wanted more.
Hola! Como estas?! Mi? Oh I'm super, thanks for asking! Anywhoo, I'm in shock that people are still reviewing for this fic, and I'm actually very pleased as well. Imagine that! Muaha, well it's back by popular demand and the sheer fact that I feel like making fun of Degrassi at the moment!
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Of course I don't OWN Degrassi, that's just silly.
***
Ellie was curious to see where Marco had run off to so she walked to the zen garden, knowing that he might be there. When she rounded the corner she spotted Marco and Jimmy kissing like mad-pixies.
"Oh, geez." Ellie shielded her eyes but Marco and Jimmy just ignored her. She soon got into it and sat on the bench next to the fairy boys and watched intently. "This is so amazing."
Meanwhile, after the initial shock deserted the Degrassi bunch (which happened quickly), Ashley decided to make her move on Craig. She strutted over there, big belly and all, and batted her eyelashes. "Hi there, Craiggy."
"Er, hi Ashley." He replied, eyeing her warily.
"I was wondering, since you're so hot, and I'm so hot, then maybe you'd wanna go to the movies, where subsequently we'd go back to my house and make out on my bed and come close to having sex but instead make big balloon animals out of condoms?" Ashley smiled sweetly.
"But, Ashley, aren't you in labor?" Craig said, looking down, rather scared.
"What are you talking about?" Ashley asked him, apparently confused. He stared down between her legs.
"You like what you see?" Ashley cooed.
He pointed down between her legs and Ashley rolled her eyes and finally stared down between her legs to see a baby's head peeping out from beneath her dress. "Oh god, that?"
"Um, yeah Ashley there's a baby between your thighs!" Craig cried.
"Yeah and if you play your cards right maybe you'll be between my thighs." She stroked his cheek and Craig did that whimpering thing again.
With a loud thump a 10-pound-baby fell onto the floor. Ashley giggled. "Get that for me will you Diedre?" Ashley yelled to Craig.
"What?" Craig asked.
"The baby you dumb-ass." Ashley punched his shoulder. "Get the fucking baby."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I said so, now get the baby!" She pointed to the wriggling thing on the floor, Ashley's legs now spread far apart.
"How?" Craig asked. He didn't even know which part was the head and which part was it's rear-end.
"Diedre! Get the baby!"
"Who?"
"Oh, sorry, I mean Craig. I've watched Monty Python too many times." Ashley laughed.
"When?"
"What are you, a fucking reporter? You've asked the five extended W's already! Well, minus where but that doesn't matter. You have to spank my baby, and um, later you can give me a spanking how would you like that huh, you dirty boy?" She hinted, inching closer to him, never minding the baby that was not making any noise beneath her.
Craig then picked up the baby and smacked it hard. The dark brown thing suddenly made an awful wailing noise. "Are you sure it's human?"
"Of course it's human, but you just smacked it in the face! How would you feel if someone did that to you?" And instead of waiting for him to answer, she smacked him in the face as well. He made a noise identical to the baby's and soon there were two wailing pussy's in the room.
"Oh! It's a girl!" Ashley cradled her bloody, naked baby. She started singing her a song that sounded oddly familiar to everyone.
"Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed, to know? That something wasn't right yeah? Oh baby, baby I shouldn't have let you go. And now you're out of sight yeah!" She sang. Spinner was aroused by this his boner grew again. Toothless Paige, tired from all the chaos that occurred that day, sat on it and wiped her brow.
"Ash, I thought you said you weren't pregnant." Toothless Paige pointed out. She looked at the baby with an expression of pure disgust. The baby's face had gotten all distorted from Craig's hand slapping it in the face.
"I guess I was. How was I supposed to know?" Ashley shrugged.
"It looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Gary Coleman." Toothless Paige laughed, Spinner laughed too making Toothless Paige bounce around.
"Spinner, cut it out." Toothless Paige snapped at him.
Terri rounded the corner, now eating some coleslaw from a gigantic slop bucket and sat by on the nearest bench. The Boner Bench! So now Toothless Paige and Terri were both sitting on Spinner's huge boner.
"This is exciting." Spinner giggled.
Ashley was tickling Craig, who was whimpering uncomfortably. Terri tossed some coleslaw on Craig's inky curls and blushed. Craig was now crying, all he wanted to do was go home.
"What's wrong, sugar tits?" Ashley questioned, licking his tears. Craig sobbed and his nose ran, Ashley licked that as well.
Terri got up from the Boner Bench; soon replaced by Sean who was tired from all the not-seeing and not-hearing crap. "I wanna go howme."
"Me too!!!" Craig cried. Terri was now sitting on top of him and feeding him coleslaw, making him lick her fingers. Ashley was cradling her baby and massaging Craig's feet.
Then, Toby and Kendra walked around one of the many corner's of Degrassi Community School, Kendra sporting a large stomach identical to Ashley's before she gave birth to Laqueefa.
"Laqueefa?" Toothless Paige snorted. Ashley smacked her with some spare coleslaw from Craig's hair.
"What happened to you?" Toothless Paige asked Kendra, wiping off the coleslaw that landed on her mullet.
"Piercing accident. I'm never going to Ellie's uncle again." Kendra shook her head.
Ashley was now smoking a cigarette. "Yeah, but ain't he great in bed?"
"Oh yeah." Kendra nodded. This made Spinner's boner deplete instantly causing Sean and Toothless Paige to fall onto the floor. ("What the foouck!?" Sean cried)
"You slept with another man, my pet?" Toby sniffled.
"It's not my fault. His pot-belly is just so freakin' hot!" Kendra giggled. Ashley agreed with her and soon they were in a long discussion about how the sex went.
"Oh my word, you mean Laqueefa is not mine? YIPEE!!" Jimmy jumped into the air, his Care Bears shirt lifting up, revealing his pierced nipples. Marco caught him and pinched his butt.
"You little bitch! You had sex with Ashley?" Marco's large eyes were moist.
"Eww! No!" Jimmy cringed.
"Then what do you mean Laqueefa isn't yours? The only way for her to be yours is if you had sex." Marco shook his head, his hands on his hips.
Ashley eyed Jimmy with a look of such hatred it was incomprehensible. Jimmy cowered in fear. "I-I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay, that's good enough for me." Marco shrugged.
Manny and Emma had now found there way to Craig as well and they had stripped him down until he was only in his plaid boxers. Manny's lips had stopped bleeding but they still were disgusting and non-existent. Emma's boobs were just as disgusting and non-existent as Manny's lips, but they both thought they were sexy beats.
"I am a sexy beast!" They cried. See?
Craig was shouting with pain. "Please, get off of me! I'm not used to this attention! Leave me alone! Mommy!"
Toothless Paige, feeling sorry for the innocent, virginal Craig, blasted away all the chicks on him with a .45, now there were four bloody carcasses on the floor of Degrassi school and one wailing Laqueefa.
Paige picked up Laqueefa by the head, smacking her Bubblicious gum, and handed it to Craig. "Now that I killed its bitch mother, you have to take care of it."
Craig nodded, a small smile on his face. "Thank you Paige." He then began breast-feeding the hungry baby.
BRIIIIIIING! The bell rang and thus ended the extremely crazy Degrassi day.
***
YES! I am through! This is not a stroke of genius, but enough to make you laugh at how completely idiotic everything is. Hopefully this will be enough to sustain those who actually liked my story and wanted more.