Simon Tam awoke, once again, to screaming. Automatically, he leapt
out of bed, walking to the room across from his. When he opened the door,
what he saw wasn't new, yet it made his stomach drop every time.
"River," he said, cautiously stepping towards the thin girl, curled in a ball and clutching her hair. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was screaming.
"River." Simon repeated, this time louder and with more confidence than before. Yet, inside, he was shaking, quivering from exhaustion, stress, and the sheer responsibility of taking care of his sister. But he had to remain calm, together. He had to continue playing the role of her older brother, the person who would someday "cure" her, all while he lost a little more hope with each passing day.
The frail girl's eyes flew open and the screaming halted. Simon was relieved. River's breath was short and raspy. Her face was sweating with a look of complete terror. Simon patted her back soothingly as she calmed down, her breathing and body becoming more relaxed.
"It's okay. It was just a nightmare." he whispered, rubbing her back, which seemed to calm her down, though she showed no signs of going back to sleep. She stared past her brother, not acknowledging his presence. Sighing, he stood up and started walking out of the room. He calculated the proper dose of medicine a girl her size and age would need, although he already knew the answer. Doing such problems helped to keep him sane, reminding him that logic and reason still existed in the 'verse.
"They took it." River whispered, stopping Simon halfway to the door. "They took it," she repeated.
"What did they take?" he asked, turning around and sitting on her the foot of her bed. It was too late to try and make sense of his little sister, but he was patient, knowing that if he tried, he'd someday be able to make sense of her.
"I didn't think they would ever be able to take it." she continued, ignoring the question, which only exasperated Simon even more. Why couldn't she give him a straight answer, just once?
"I imagined the day that you'd come and get me, come and rescue me. In my fantasies, you would have it." she said, scooting closer to him. Simon noticed that her eyes were watering. "But you came and it was gone. They took it, just like that. It wasn't theirs to take. It wasn't theirs to steal. They had no right." Simon stayed silent, too tired to question her. Slowly, she brought her hand up to his face, placing her index finger underneath his right eye.
"Why didn't you fight them Simon? You could have held on to it. But you gave up without a fight." she accused him.
Simon searched his sister's eyes, trying to understand what she was talking about. Why does she do this to me? he asked himself. Sighing, he held her hand between both of his.
"You are right. I should've fought." he said, too defeated to argue. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed her hand. He then stood up and headed towards the door, but River stopped him short again.
"Wait." she said firmly, her voice rising. He obeyed, but remained facing the door, his shoulder hunched in annoyance. Why can't she just let me go to bed?
"What?" he asked her.
"You don't care." she accused him. "It's gone and you don't care."
"No River, I do not care." he snapped, spinning around. "How can I when I don't know what 'it' is?" He shouted, flailing his arms. The words flew out of his mouth, with no control from him. Yet, surprisingly, he felt no guilt. He needed to let it all out. The more he did so, the slightly better he felt. It was a release.
River looked at her brother, startled. Her brother had rarely yelled at her, even when they were kids.
"You expect me to understand to hidden meaning in your ramblings. I've tried, I really have. I try to depict the sentences, hoping they were the key to figuring out how to help you, or finding out what the Academy did to you. But the more I try, the less sense you make." Simon looked expectantly at River, anticipating anger. He was waiting for her to yell at him, to defend herself. But she simply stared at him with a straight face, showing no emotions.
Another wave of anger and frustrations covered Simon. He would have been ecstatic if she'd gotten upset; that would've been the normal response. If she had been angry, he could at least be hopeful.
River just watched calmly as he paced around her room, letting out his energy. He constantly ran his fingers through his hair.
"Why can't you react normally? Act normally?" He asked her. "Anyone else would be mad at me. Any other person would be yelling, telling me what a jerk I am." his voice rose gradually until he was finally shouting.
"'The truth shall set you free.'" River quoted.
"The truth shall..."he started incredulously. "The truth shall set me free. Well you want to know what the truth is? The truth is you're driving me crazy." Simon stormed out of the room.
"River," he said, cautiously stepping towards the thin girl, curled in a ball and clutching her hair. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was screaming.
"River." Simon repeated, this time louder and with more confidence than before. Yet, inside, he was shaking, quivering from exhaustion, stress, and the sheer responsibility of taking care of his sister. But he had to remain calm, together. He had to continue playing the role of her older brother, the person who would someday "cure" her, all while he lost a little more hope with each passing day.
The frail girl's eyes flew open and the screaming halted. Simon was relieved. River's breath was short and raspy. Her face was sweating with a look of complete terror. Simon patted her back soothingly as she calmed down, her breathing and body becoming more relaxed.
"It's okay. It was just a nightmare." he whispered, rubbing her back, which seemed to calm her down, though she showed no signs of going back to sleep. She stared past her brother, not acknowledging his presence. Sighing, he stood up and started walking out of the room. He calculated the proper dose of medicine a girl her size and age would need, although he already knew the answer. Doing such problems helped to keep him sane, reminding him that logic and reason still existed in the 'verse.
"They took it." River whispered, stopping Simon halfway to the door. "They took it," she repeated.
"What did they take?" he asked, turning around and sitting on her the foot of her bed. It was too late to try and make sense of his little sister, but he was patient, knowing that if he tried, he'd someday be able to make sense of her.
"I didn't think they would ever be able to take it." she continued, ignoring the question, which only exasperated Simon even more. Why couldn't she give him a straight answer, just once?
"I imagined the day that you'd come and get me, come and rescue me. In my fantasies, you would have it." she said, scooting closer to him. Simon noticed that her eyes were watering. "But you came and it was gone. They took it, just like that. It wasn't theirs to take. It wasn't theirs to steal. They had no right." Simon stayed silent, too tired to question her. Slowly, she brought her hand up to his face, placing her index finger underneath his right eye.
"Why didn't you fight them Simon? You could have held on to it. But you gave up without a fight." she accused him.
Simon searched his sister's eyes, trying to understand what she was talking about. Why does she do this to me? he asked himself. Sighing, he held her hand between both of his.
"You are right. I should've fought." he said, too defeated to argue. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed her hand. He then stood up and headed towards the door, but River stopped him short again.
"Wait." she said firmly, her voice rising. He obeyed, but remained facing the door, his shoulder hunched in annoyance. Why can't she just let me go to bed?
"What?" he asked her.
"You don't care." she accused him. "It's gone and you don't care."
"No River, I do not care." he snapped, spinning around. "How can I when I don't know what 'it' is?" He shouted, flailing his arms. The words flew out of his mouth, with no control from him. Yet, surprisingly, he felt no guilt. He needed to let it all out. The more he did so, the slightly better he felt. It was a release.
River looked at her brother, startled. Her brother had rarely yelled at her, even when they were kids.
"You expect me to understand to hidden meaning in your ramblings. I've tried, I really have. I try to depict the sentences, hoping they were the key to figuring out how to help you, or finding out what the Academy did to you. But the more I try, the less sense you make." Simon looked expectantly at River, anticipating anger. He was waiting for her to yell at him, to defend herself. But she simply stared at him with a straight face, showing no emotions.
Another wave of anger and frustrations covered Simon. He would have been ecstatic if she'd gotten upset; that would've been the normal response. If she had been angry, he could at least be hopeful.
River just watched calmly as he paced around her room, letting out his energy. He constantly ran his fingers through his hair.
"Why can't you react normally? Act normally?" He asked her. "Anyone else would be mad at me. Any other person would be yelling, telling me what a jerk I am." his voice rose gradually until he was finally shouting.
"'The truth shall set you free.'" River quoted.
"The truth shall..."he started incredulously. "The truth shall set me free. Well you want to know what the truth is? The truth is you're driving me crazy." Simon stormed out of the room.