Chapter 11: The Marauder who Shagged Me

(A/N HA! I have FINALLY come up with an EXCELLENT chapter name!

I love it! omg, it's awesome! Oh yeah! **Does the Cabbage Patch**

Whooo, I am OKAY! Well...enjoy! Oo yeah..and sorry for the delat...

You guys have probably given up on me!! No! Keep R&R!! Please..?)

"I am SICK and TIRED of waiting for Remus once every month!" complained Ruby one evening in the common room. James was out at Quidditch Practice, so the threesome were alone for the evening. Lily and Sirius exchanged uneasy glances.

"Yes...I'm sure all of us are...but he *has* got that sick aunt," said Lily.

"Anyway," Sirius said hastily, attempting to steer the conversation away from dangerous waters, "how's that homework for Flitwick going?"

"Finished," replied Lily absently, staring into the fire.

"Er...something the matter?" Ruby asked.

"No, not at all."

"Lily, there *has* to be *something* wrong with you."

"I just feel like...like it's *my* fault that James lost his Head Boy badge." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, it was him who snogged you in the Great Hall! Even I know not to do that! That's what the broom cupboards are for," he said, a sheepish grin on his face.

"Sirius!" Ruby said playfully, whacking him on his head.

"And dormitories...Moaning Myrtle's bathroom...the cellar of Hogsmeade...because then you have whipped cream, and the occasional cherry..."

"SIRIUS!" Lily and Ruby shouted.

"We don't want any part in your sick, whipped creamish visions," Lily said, reaching in her bag for a quill and some parchment.

"Ah...I don't know..." Ruby muttered under her breath.

"Huh?" Lily said, emerging with a copy of Advanced Transfiguration.

"Nothing," she replied a little too quickly, though only Sirius seemed to notice.

"Oh...okay. Anybody need help with Transfiguration?" Lily asked in a slightly cheerier mood.

"You're actually HELPING us?" Ruby asked.

"Well...just this once."

* * * * * *

Sirius sat in front of the fire, masaging his temples. What Ruby had said earlier troubled him. /"Ah...I don't know.../ kept running through his head.

"Maybe she really *is* sick of Remus," he said to himself. He sighed. Everyone else had gone to bed hours ago. Sirius was sure he was the only one up--

"Sirius? You're still awake?" said a soft voice. He turned his neck so quickly it cracked. Ruby was standing at the top of the stairs and was making her way down to Sirius.

"Ow...yeah...what're you doing up?" he asked, rubbing his neck.

"I couldn't sleep," she responded, sitting down beside him.

"Oh," said Sirius, staring into the grate. Ruby sighed.

"I've...been thinking..." she said quietly. Sirius looked up at her.

"About..."

"About...Remus."

"Erm..."

"Where does he *really* go every month? I'm beginning to become suspicious and--"

"We've told you--*he's* told you that he has a sick aunt. You don't believe us, you don't believe him," Sirius concluded simply.

"It's not that!" Ruby replied, her eyes overbright.

"Then what is it?"

"Aside from him visiting his sick aunt...I--I think...I think that Remus and I should...should break things off."

Sirius stared blankly at her.

"Why's that?" he asked, attempting to retain his temper.

"Because...well...because I just feel...well...I don't know...it's just that I've--that I've--"

"Well, spit it out!"

"I think I've fallen for someone else," she whispered. Sirius's eyes widened.

"Oh...who--who've you fallen for?" he asked in a would-be casual voice.

"To tell you the truth...I...I think I'm falling...for you."

Sirius's eyes were now as round as Galleons. He blinked.

"M-me--?"

"Yes, but I understand, you wouldn't go out with me...I'm breaking up with your best friend, why should you date me?" Ruby said quickly, shuffling her feet.

"I never said I *wouldn't* date you," Sirius said quietly. /What the hell do you think you're doing?/ his brain seemed to say. /She's bloody gorgeous...why would I *miss* an oppertunity like this?/ his heart argued.

"What--what are you saying?" Ruby said slowly.

"That I...erm...that is to say...will go out with you--?" Sirius stuttered.

"Okay," said Ruby. There was an awkward silence.

"So...erm...what do we do now?" asked Ruby awkwardly. Inside Sirius, all was cold. He seemed to be under the Imperius Curse as he leaned toward's Ruby's face. Automaticaly, Ruby leaned in too. His lips brushed hers. His insides immediatley turned from cold to warm. He continued to kiss her for about three more minutes before he broke away.

"I don't know what got over me--" he began, but was silenced by Ruby's lips. Ruby slid her arms around Sirius's neck, while his went around her waist. Almost immediatley after this regular kiss, Sirius thought he ought to try a full-frontal snog(A/N full-frontal snog in england is like...kissing with ALL the trimmings. Kinda like frenching in the USA. For more information on Full frontal snogging, read Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging by Georgia(?)..)

Ruby seemed to go with Sirius's plan. They were kissing passionatley, almost dangerously. They rolled off the scarlett sofa they had been laying on, and were rolling around on the floor, knocking over endtables and bumping into chairs. Ruby wrapped her leg around Sirius's waist, and Sirius had his hands up her shirt(A/N mind you, their still snogging...see...this is MULTI-TASKING!).

Before either of them knew it, they were unbuttoning each other's robes(A/N still snogging!). They threw aside their discarded clothing and fumbled their way to the nearest couch...and...well...any idiot can guess what happens next.

* * * * * *

"Cover them up, that's *really* disturbing!"

"No! No! Sirius isn't a virgin anymore! Nooooooo!"

"I was saving myself for him! What's the meaning of life now?"

"Ruby was such a good girl..."

"Good witch gone bad..."

"Oh my God, James!"

"Ru-Ruby?"

The common room was full of commotion the next morning(A/N commotion? where the heck did that come from?). Lily, who had expected a normal morning, was genuinely shocked as she entered the common room. On the couch nearest to the fire place lay Sirius and Ruby, completley naked, and sound asleep.

Lily ran down the stairs over to the sleeping couple. For once in her life she did not know a spell to cover them up. So she did the only thing that didn't really make sense.

"JAMES! OUT HERE! NOW!" she yelled. Three minutes later, James came storming into the common room.

"What's u--what in the name of Merlin?" James said, looking at the two. Ruby began to stir. Lily saw her eyes open slowly, almost curiously...and then--

"OH MY GOD!" Ruby shrieked. Lily took off her Hogwarts robe and lent it to Ruby to..er.."cover" herself up. Ruby was as red as the scarlet on the robes, even under her dark skin. Lily sighed shakily as James stared awkwardly at Sirius.

"Ruby," Lily said urgently. "Did--did you--?"

"YES!" she sobbed, tears streaming down her face.

"You didnt!" Lily replied exasperatley.

"YES!"

"Did he..." Lily lowered her voice, "he didn't...rape you...did he?"

"No..."

"S-So you...let him..."

"YES LILY!"

"Okay! Calm down! Oh Ruby..." Lily wrapped her arm around Ruby's shoulder and patted her on the back. She looked over. Lily gasped so fast she choked. For coming right toward them was a confused looking--

"REMUS!" Lily said in a high-pitched voice. "Remus..."

"What's going on here, Lily?" Remus asked slowly, his gaze falling upon the sobbing Ruby.

"Remus..." was all she could say.

"Sirius and I...slept with each other, Remus," Ruby whispered, though half muffled by sobs.

"Sirius...what?"

"And we had sex."

"You and...Sirius?"

"And if anyone has the right to break up it's you and me...dump me, Remus...it's all my fault."

"All your...fault?"

"Y-yes." Ruby raced off to the dormitories. Lily pursed her lips as she wheeled around to face a stunned Remus.

"Lil-Lily?" Remus asked weakly.



"Yes Remus?" Lily asked wearily.

"Is this all really happening?"

"Remus...I--yeah...it is..." Remus, staring blankly, walked absently up the stone staircase and into the boy's dormitories.

"Lily! Lily...Professor McGonagall," gasped James, rushing up to her. "She's coming..." Suddenly, the portrait hole swung open, and Professor McGonagall came storming in.

"She's here," Lily whispered fearfully. Her eyes darted around the room. Sirius was still dozing on the couch, completely naked, and Ruby lay weeping on the floor, the covered by Lily's robes.

"RUBY MOONSHINE WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Professor McGonagall roared. The whole common room fell deadly silent. Lily's heart thumped against her chest.

"I'm..srry...don'tmowwhathappend," Ruby managed to say.

"SPEAK CLEARLY MOONSHINE!"

"I'M SORRY, OKAY?" Ruby shouted, her voice shaking.

"SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH MISS MOONSHINE! ONE HUNDRED POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR EACH OF THOSE INVOLVED IN YOUR...YOUR...FUNFILLED NIGHT!"

"Does she think Ruby had a threesome or something?" James muttered.

"RUBY MOONSHINE...IN MY OFFICE...WITH BLACK...AND EVANS."

"Professor...I didn't do--" Lily said confused.

"I KNOW THAT MISS EVANS, BUT THERE ARE THINGS THAT NEED DISCUSSING!" Lily's eyes widened as she followed McGonagall out the portrait hole. She suspected Ruby was waking Sirius. Lily's stomach was in her throat.

Professor McGonagall walked so briskly that Lily had to occasionaly run to catch up. They finally reached her office. Professor McGonagall opened the door so hard it slammed against the wall. Lily walked into the room cautiously.

"Why--why did I have to come--" Lily said quietly.

"Because Miss Evans," McGonagall replied, rubbing her temples wearily. "I need some questions answered."

"I don't know anything that happened last night--"

"I know that. Was Ruby--that is to say--did Ruby...oh, I'm no good at this. Did Ruby wear something to...'protect' herself?"

Lily stared strangely at Professor McGonagall, thinking of how strange it was to be sitting here talking almost sanely to a professor about this.

"I don't know. Like I said, I wasn't there when it happened."

"Okay. Thank you Evans. You can leave now."

Lily walked out of the office, a queesey feeling in the pit of her stomach.