Author's Notes: OK, OK. I know I have to re-post "Cruel Fate?" and all that, but I needed a change. I needed normalcy for a few seconds, or, er…stories. I need to see if you guys even like where this story is going before I waste more time on it!!! ^_^ It shouldn't be NEAR as long as CF?, so don't worry. I'm definitely not going for an epic here…
Disclaimer: This will NOT appear on every chapter, so just take it and multiply by every chapter I post: I do NOT own Dragonball Z, its characters, its plots, its themes, its anything. I only own the DVDs. Oh, and I did take the name from that movie, "Earth Girls are Easy", meaning I don't own that either. Kapeesh?
Title: Earth Girls are Easy
Chapter: 1 – Establishing the Prey
Rating: R – use of curse words and sexual situations…not on an NC-17 level, I learned my lesson. *glares at Administration*
Description: What's a Prince to do when he's caught the eye of his sexy, ingenious, determined housemate? And how far will Bulma go to get the Saiyan Sovereign in her dreams into her bed?
Chapter 1 – Establishing the Prey
Blue eyes guarded by sunglasses gazed over the top of some forgotten novel, pages not having been turned for the last five minutes. The eyes stared straight ahead and through the dark frames of the glasses resting on her nose, right into a rosy opaque bubble of a window, and directly onto the occupant therein.
Reaching up to brush a stray aqua strand of hair out of her eyesight as a distraction, the woman nonchalantly pressed a button on the edge of her glasses at the same time. Unknown to anyone who might have been watching her, images flashed across the inside of the lenses. Holding the button down, the glasses became her very own set of binoculars, zooming into the window so she could get an even better view of the building's occupant.
The man was inside, working out, as usual. But now he was engaged in Bulma's most favorite exercise. In fact, she had made it a daily ritual to be out in the yard, attending to some matter of business, always armed with her trusty "sunglasses" just at this time. Today she was sunbathing, in a barely-there midnight blue bikini, having unwittingly bought the same color the man she was spying on wore all the time.
Well, she shouldn't say man. More like alien.
More like hot, sexy alien that made her mouth water and her belly heat up every damn time he waltzed around her half naked, and caused even more drastic reactions in her when she got to spy on him. Especially now, when he was doing his push ups. She groaned and sat up on order to watch him better.
And watch him she did, his face concentrated on such an age-old art of muscle upgrading, great for his arms, and good for her soul. She would watch him as he moved, unaware of his observer, almost in slow motion as he strained against the extra gravity she had put on him herself in the chamber, moving up and down…up and down…sweat dripping from his forehead…to his nose…and then down onto her, as she writhed beneath his movements and wrapped her arms---
"Bulma?"
Bulma flew out of her lawn chair, book flying, eyes wide, and head whirling around to the voice behind her.
"Y-Yamcha?" She questioned, looking at her boyfriend. He stood there, one eyebrow quirked. What was up with her? Why was she so jumpity?
Bulma frowned. That idiot! Now was her time to watch Vegeta and imagine him in wonderfully fantastical positions, all with her incorporated into equally fantastical positions alongside of him.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, scaring me like that? I almost pissed myself, you jerk!!" She screamed, standing up and marching over to him, grabbing her towel on the way. Deftly she covered up, not even bothering to think why it would matter if her own boyfriend saw her in such a skimpy outfit. He'd seen her in less…but still. That wasn't the point.
"I'm sorry Bulma! I just wanted to say…" he paused, and looked at the ground. "I just wanted to tell you I can't make it to dinner tonight." He never looked up, knowing he would be getting the thrashing of his lifetime in just a few minutes. She'd always been beyond angry when he cancelled their plans, but it hadn't ever been this bad.
It all started when Bulma had asked Vegeta to stay at her house. Yamcha couldn't help thinking that it was because she thought the short alien was hot (which he'd never understand) and then it didn't help when he proceeded not being able to stop himself from attaching to anything in a skirt…until one of those skirt's belonged to one of Bulma's employees and she'd caught them…
It had been at least a month before she'd even talked with him again! And finally she'd accepted his offer to eat with him tonight, but here he was changing their plans…sometimes he was more scared of Bulma than…well, than Vegeta even!
Bulma blinked behind her sunglasses. This is what he had interrupted her for? This meaningless pile of excuses and yet even more proof of his un-masculineness? She sighed, and looked at the ground, thinking.
Of course she had been pissed when she caught him with Veronica, but after getting over the initial shock, life went on normally – no, better than normal, because without someone to ebb her sexual drives (which were what Yamcha had been for), all her attention had turned to the only other male in her proximity that was available: Vegeta.
And Kami, had she been blind before then. Sure she'd invited him thinking he was hot, but she had never planned on pursuing it this far…spying on the alien, no near-naked alien…yet how far was too far?
Bulma glanced over her shoulder at the machine, and through the window.
Damn, he's done with his push-ups…
Crossing her arms, she decided. If Vegeta was all she could think about at a time when Yamcha was ditching her, this had to be a sign. She wouldn't rest until she had that Prince in her bed. Clearing her throat, she looked up, preparing herself for the best acting anyone on this green earth had ever seen. Willing tears to her eyes, she began.
Yamcha stood there, dumbfounded as Bulma burst into tears and ripped her sunglasses off, laying them -gently- on the lawn chair beside her and dropping her towel. His eyes traveled up and down her body (he had to admit, she was way better looking than all his other side-winder flings…) before returning to her face, and he barely stopped himself from jumping back. Her eyes were wet and glistening with tears, and her face looked like she had just run over her own cat or something…
"Y-Yamcha! You can't keep doing this to me!" She walked slowly up to him, shoulders drooping, and grabbed his arms, pulling his face close to hers. "I fucking love you, and you keep leaving me at home, wasting away." She jumped back and stood in the most provocative pose she could muster and still look believable. "If this," she said, motioning towards her body, "wasn't enough, you know I would've gotten surgery, or…or something!" She sounded utterly confused and broken! Yamcha gulped. "But now you're leaving me…and it's the last time." She molded her eyes into a mix of azure hatred clouded with sapphire pain, and all the time overflowing with salty crystalline tears.
Damn I'm good…she thought.
"B-Bulma! Baby, I still wanna be with you!" Yamcha spurted out, a sweat drop forming. How in the hell did she manage to give him a hard-on as she bared her soul to him? She sure as shit didn't need any of that surgery she mentioned…he thought she had lost her mind. And over him too…poor thing. He was starting to feel guilty.
"No! You'll just break my heart again and say those same words the next time! I know you now…" She heard the door to the Gravity Chamber open, and footsteps come outside. Perfect…she thought, grinning inside of her head. "…I just can't let you hurt me anymore…don't come back again…please…" Her head was lowered and her voice was so soft Yamcha could barely hear her.
But Vegeta could. Looking in their direction, he scowled. Stupid humans…he thought, wiping sweat away with a towel, always putting so much into their emotions. Idiots, all of them. Unfortunately, the blubbering woman and her dickless human mate were right in his path to the door to get inside the Compound. And he'd much rather not have to walk nearer to them than necessary. True, he could fly, but that would admit his phobia of all things emotional and that would be like admitting a weakness. So he slowly began walking to the door, hoping that if he made no sudden movements, they wouldn't even notice him.
Bulma never looked up. But her hands were fisted at their sides and Yamcha could see salty tears falling to the ground.
"It's over, Yamcha. Don't come back…please. I…I don't want to be hurt again. I love you too much. Th-this has got to stop." Dramatic pause…and finish it! "I can't take it anymore…"
Yamcha looked from her to Vegeta and back again. Damn, he had to see her dump me. Dude, this isn't cool. He never knew Bulma liked him so much! And he had wasted it away. She'd never been quiet like this before…sometimes she would throw things, but this calmness? It scared him worse than her tantrums. He shook his head and mumbled and 'I'm sorry' before shooting off into the air.
Vegeta made it to the couple just as Yamcha flew off, and was continuing by the woman when she whispered to him, her face still parallel with the ground so he couldn't even see it.
"Vegeta!"
He stopped. If she wanted a hug or some shit like that, Kami help her, because she sure as hell wasn't getting one from him!
"What do you want now, you blasted woman?" he inquired gruffly.
"Is he gone?" She still hadn't looked up from the ground.
"Yes, I suppose he is. Good riddance. Hopefully he won't be back." He grinned. Usually she'd get all pissy about him insulting her mate, but this time she was silent. Hmph. He started to turn back to the house when she looked up, a huge grin on her face. He blinked.
Wiping her tears with the back of her hands, she threw her towel over her shoulder and popped her sunglasses back on, grabbing her book at the last minute. Vegeta was still standing there, staring at her.
"Woman-"
"Vegeta, don't worry about it-"
"Fat chance of that, I was going to-"
"Listen." She interrupted him again. "This time, I used my head, as you so often remind me to do," he smirked, "and I thought it through. Every time I dump him, I'm screaming and yelling and throwing things, and then I'm hitting him. And it never worked. He always came back with that little puppy-dog face and I forgave him, like an idiot. So I decided to act broken, and when he got so guilty he couldn't stand it, I knew he'd leave. He's too spineless to handle a crying woman. Now all I have to do is break down in to tears whenever I see him, and he should stay away." She paused thoughtfully. "He never was really good for comforting someone—"
"That's quite enough information for me."
With that, Vegeta continued toward the house, not looking back. Bulma pressed the zoom feature on her glasses, and watched his tight ass all the way.
If only you knew, Princy. If only you knew.
With a malicious grin on her face, she followed him. No reason to be outside anymore, since Vegeta was inside, and she had some planning to do anyways. Bagging a Prince, especially this Prince, was going to be hard work.
Author's Notes: So, lemme hear how you like it/hate it/whatever it and that may determine on how fast I update the next chapters. I mean, if you all hate it, I may just take my sweet time so I can update for the hell of finishing it, and if you like it, well that gives us author's an incentive. ^_^ So review please! Por favor! Douzo! Bitte! *sign languages P-L-E-A-S-E*