Author's Notes: Oky-doky, here's the next chapter. Sorry I never update…yeah…
Chapter 3 – Friendly Advice
Bulma yawned and looked at the clock. Ten. Too bad humans weren't as "physiologically advanced" as Saiyans. Think of all the work she could be doing in her lab if she didn't need as much sleep! Think of all the inventions, plans, and blueprints; all the spying and scheming—
Speaking of spying and scheming…
She picked up the phone and dialed a memorized number. Of course, she had a whole phone book of numbers committed to memory, but still. It was nice not having to look up one of her oldest friend's numbers.
"Hello, Son residence." The young voice came over the line.
"Hey kiddo, can I talk to your Mom?" Bulma asked, inspecting her nails.
"Hey Bulma! Sure thing." There was a pause, followed by "MOOOOOOM!" and the passing of the phone.
"Hello?" Chi Chi spoke. Why in the world would Bulma want to talk to her?
"Hey Chi! How's life?"
Chi Chi frowned and looked behind her. Dishes were piling up as her monster husband and kid ate enough food to give indigestion to an elephant.
"Just peachy. What do you want?" she snapped as she thought of the laundry to do and the bath water she would have to heat up tonight when the men (plus Piccolo) got back from training.
Bulma blinked. Her friend seemed completely…stressed.
"Chi, I was thinking we should have a girls' day out. You come to my house, and we'll do some sunbathing, facial masks, hair treatments, nail shaping, etc. Talk about food, bathing suits, guys…you know. Forget about all that work and have a day off. I'm sure the house won't fall apart if you're gone for a day."
Chi Chi blinked, a hand unconsciously going to her hair.
"Well, I suppose it wouldn't…but Goku just can't—"
"No buts about it, Chi. I'll come over and help out with the chores and then I'll take you back with me, OK? We'll get it done in no time."
Chi Chi genuinely smiled for the first time in a long time since Goku had come home from Yardrat.
"Thanks Bulma! That would be great."
"No prob, be there in a sec."
Bulma hung up the phone and put on some cheapo cotton shorts and a tank top. She didn't even brush her hair as she threw it above her head in a messy ponytail. Slipping on sandals, grabbed her purse, and walked on light feet to her car.
I'll warm her up with some alcohol and have some Saiyan bed-secrets in no time! Bulma, you are positively downright evil… She shrugged and pulled her "sunglasses" out of her purse as she reached her car. Taking a little spy into the GR, she sighed dreamily. He was facing her, hanging upside down from the bar across the roof and doing sitting ups with his arms behind his head. Wow…
Just as he straightened back out slowly, his face became completely level with the window. His eyes opened wide as he saw her staring at the GR, and then he scowled horrendously and began working even faster.
"Well gee whiz!" Bulma frowned and hopped in her car. "That little jerk. What's his problem?"
Chi Chi was sitting on the steps outside her home. She had taken off her purple dress and was just in her baggy pink pants and a white tank top. It was too hot to wear layers…
Why in the world was Bulma being so generous now? She herself had always been jealous of the beautiful, rich, annoying woman. They had never been best of friends…but they'd never hated each other. This was just so unexpected!
She watched the latest Capsule model car pulled up and stood up from the steps, smiling. Bulma hopped out. The blue-haired model look-alike was frowning, but she grinned when she saw Chi Chi.
"Hey Chi! Let's get to work, I brought some help."
Chi Chi blinked as little robots began popping out of the capsules Bulma was throwing down at her feet.
"These two only clean dishes, these two wash laundry, this one folds it…" she continued listing their jobs as they lined up.
"Wow Bulma…these are great!" Chi Chi patted one on the head. If she could afford stuff like this…
"You can have 'em if you want. We have our own set." Bulma walked past the stunned woman and into the doorway before turning around. "Well? We have to show them where to start cleaning, c'mon!"
Another hour and the Son house was spotless. Bulma was on the couch panting.
"Damn Chi Chi, how the heck do you do this every day?!"
Chi Chi grinned from her place lounging on the recliner. She would never admit that without the help of Bulma's machines, this work load would've taken her all day long.
"You get used to it." She stood up, excited. "Let's go to your house before the boys get back. They can get lunch for themselves today."
Bulma grinned and they both hurried to her car.
Vegeta frowned as he stepped out of the house with his lunch on a tray. He thought he could avoid the woman today, but here she was already pulling back up to the house. He paused as he heard two feminine voices, both giggling, and then two car doors slam shut. He growled and headed back to the GR. He'd eat his lunch away from anyone else, thank you.
"He didn't!" Bulma said, giving her friend a look that clearly said 'I don't believe you'.
Chi Chi crossed her arms and frowned.
"You don't have to believe me if you don't want to, but Goku just went about doing everything he normally does. Except with no clothes of course. It's like he hadn't even realized they were being washed…"
Bulma shook her head, grinning.
Vegeta had paused midstep, and slowly, ever so slowly, his head turned toward both of the girls. There was a disgusted look on his face.
Chi Chi stopped walking all together and glared at him, frowning. Bulma paused too, laughing at the look on Vegeta's face.
"Chi, let's go. I'm sure Vegeta wants to hear more naked Goku stories before he eats lunch, right?"
Vegeta shuddered and continued toward the simulator, if not a little faster.
A few hours later both women were wrapped in towels on their stomachs getting a massage by professional masseuses. There were green facemasks on their faces and their hair was wrapped in steaming towels after being deeply conditioned and trimmed. Chi Chi sighed.
"Bulma, this is great. We should do this more often."
Bulma just kind of grunted, enjoying the hands running along her back. She pictured Vegeta at the other end of those arms, his strong hands kneading her muscles and slipping gently around the curve of her shoulders—and snorted with laughter.
Chi Chi's eyebrow rose.
"Something funny?"
Bulma opened her eyes and grinned at her friend.
"I was just picturing Vegeta trying to give a massage. It made me laugh, is all."
Chi Chi frowned.
"Why do you let that horrible man in your house? I mean, after he killed your boyfriend, almost killed my son, tried to blow up the planet…I just don't get it." Chi Chi was watching her friend's face.
Bulma sighed and laid her chin on her arms.
"Everyone's asked me that," she laughed, "except for my parents. They know the risk too. But my Mother actually adores him, and my Dad told me he liked the…how did he put it? 'Motivation' Vegeta provides him to get his work done."
Chi Chi snorted.
"Yeah, if you count having your life threatened motivation…"
Bulma smiled and looked at her friend. "And he's really not that bad. I mean, first sign that he's still evil and he is SO kicked out, don't get me wrong—"
"Just stop talking. I'll never get it." Chi Chi waved her friend quiet. "Anyway, how are you and Yamcha doing?"
Bulma frowned at the mentioning of her ex's name.
"We're just fine." She lied. She wouldn't get anything out of Chi if her friend thought she didn't have a reason for it.
"That's good, but I still think you could do so much better."
This made Bulma pause.
"Y-you do?" she asked, setting wide eyes on her friend. Chi Chi's eyes were closed and her arms were crossed under her chin.
"Of course, I mean, it's Yamcha. We all know he's not faithful, and he's not exactly Prince Charming. He's clumsy and he doesn't know how to act at social events. You need someone who…" she paused, thinking, "…who can act respectable. I mean, you go to all those Capsule Corps. parties…do you really drag Yamcha around to all of those?" Chi Chi sent questioning eyes to her friend. "I wouldn't take that man out in public. Even my Goku can behave when he needs to."
Bulma blinked and stared at the other woman in surprise. Since when did Chi Chi get so perceptive?!
The black-haired woman sighed.
"Don't look at me like that! I'm not an idiot you know. Just because I sit at home and spend all my time being a wife and a mother doesn't mean I don't think about you guys." Chi Chi was staring straight ahead now. Bulma felt a twinge of guilt.
"I…Chi, I don't think you're an idiot. It's just that…wow, I never knew you thought about us." Bulma paused, feeling really bad now. "I bet it gets really lonely with just Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo for company." God I'm a bitch! Why don't I think about these things earlier?! "From now on, we're doing this at least once a month, OK?"
Chi Chi's eyes shot to Bulma's. Then she shook her head.
"You don't have to do this out of guilt you know. I've lived like that for a while. It's almost routine—"
"Hell no! This isn't out of guilt; I've had a good time today. And that's final." Bulma already felt better.
Chi Chi smiled. Bulma had never really struck her as the…charitable type. Oh well, not that she minded the company! Or the luxury…
"Bulma, I think I'm moving in with you, OK?"
Bulma just nodded from her spot in the Jacuzzi. The settings had the water hot and the jets at "Tenderize". It was like heaven.
Bulma had on a more respectable bikini than the day before and she had let Chi Chi borrow a black one. It had surprised Bulma at first, but the younger woman had quite a figure, even after having a kid. She wondered why she always hid it behind baggy clothes?
It had been funny seeing her friend's face when she stepped out of her bathroom after putting on the bikini. Chi Chi had definitely been disappointed when Bulma informed her she didn't have any one-piece suits to wear…
"Whatever…" the heat and the chlorine were getting to both of them, not to mention the glasses of wine that had been refilled at least four times. As Bulma went for her fifth, she remembered her plan.
"Chi?"
"Hmm?"
No better way than to dive in…"How's your sex life?"
Chi Chi looked up. Her head had been reclining against the side of the hot tub, but now she regarded Bulma with wary eyes. The blue-haired woman blinked. Damn, maybe she's not drunk yet…
Then Chi Chi shrugged.
"Even though I don't think it's something to be discussed outside of the bedroom…" she took a drink from her glass as a sly smile colored her lips, "…I wouldn't mind boasting now and then…"
Now Bulma was blinking.
"B-boasting? Chi, are you saying…"
"That Goku knows how to please a woman?" The smirk was ever-present as she laid her head back down on the tub. "Does a Saiyan like food?" She added rhetorically.
"Wow…I never even…wow." Was all Bulma could say.
"Yeah, I bet no one's thought of Goku like that, thank God, and I can see why. He's such a…a child all the time. In fact, in the bed…well, that's the only time he's not." She was staring at her near-empty glass of wine thoughtfully. "He scared me on our honeymoon. He didn't even know what sex was. I mean, he had an inkling from Roshi's magazines," her nose wrinkled, "but that was it."
Bulma was interested now.
"So…what did you do? I mean, how do you tell Son Goku about the birds and the bees?"
Chi Chi was blushing now, and it wasn't because of the wine.
"I…I kissed him, and…and initiated it, but after a few minutes, he got this…this smoky look in his eyes and he was just…" she sighed, "…just wonderful. It was like he had been born for the sole purpose of procreating or something." She paused, an absent look in her orbs. "It was like he was possessed by this amazing sex demon and I just-" She paused, a blush coloring her whole face as she lifted her wine glass and took a deep gulp.
Bulma was smirking. She was forming a hypothesis, and so far, she liked the stipulations. If Son Goku, the air-brained kid that he was, knew how to make Chi blush like this? Think of the possibilities Vegeta could accomplish!!
"Chi, you don't have to be ashamed. I think that's great! I was worried that you weren't ever fulfilled…in that area…because Goku's how he is, you know?"
That haze of a smirk was still on her friend's face, and her eyes were far away, as if reminiscing over past experiences in the bedroom with her husband. She looked up at Bulma sternly.
"But I know it was much more appealing because we were married, you know. I don't see how anyone could want to do that stuff with someone who's not your spouse."
Bulma knew she was secretly admonishing her. She shrugged it off.
"Well, Yamcha was never that good anyway…"
Chi Chi was now the one paying attention.
"…he was always scared of girls, remember?"
Chi Chi nodded, refilling her glass again, and missing a bit. The sun was just now setting and the lights automatically lit up in the Jacuzzi.
Bulma sighed.
"We were both each other's first, so I guess that's why we're still somewhat attached…but he was as clumsy in bed as he was out of it."
Chi Chi was grinning now.
"You mean…" she began, leaning forward, "I was getting the pleasure of my life and the whole time you were laying in bed, pretending to be pleased for him?" With that she burst out laughing. "It's kind of…kind of ironic, don't you think?!"
Bulma frowned and crossed her arms.
"Well you don't have to rub it in, you know." Her eyes wandered over to the GR, which was still being used. Vegeta wouldn't come out until at least midnight, unless he was going on one of those 'must train 'til I drop' things. "Besides, I took your advice to heart today…maybe I'll look for someone else to please me…"
Chi Chi followed her friend's eyes to the gravity simulator and frowned.
"Stop thinking what you're thinking Bulma." She watched the water swirl over her body as Bulma's attention shot back to her friend. "It's impossible. Just because he's good looking doesn't mean anything will work out."
Bulma blinked again. Chi Chi was surprising the hell out of her today.
"Chi, but just think…what you told me about Goku…I think that's a Saiyan thing! You know, pleasing a woman? Don't I deserve some of that too?"
Chi Chi stopped her glass halfway to her lips. She regarded Bulma thoughtfully.
"If all you want is pleasing. That man may be able to help you out physically, but emotionally? He's dead Bulma. You'll only get hurt."
Bulma was leaning over the side of the tub, chin in her hands as she watched the lights flicker from Vegeta's workout.
"Yeah…but if I go into it expecting nothing but physical pleasure…wouldn't that be great?"
Chi Chi rubbed her temples.
"I suppose…but if he hurts you, I don't want to hear a word of it!"
Bulma turned to Chi Chi and grinned, moving her fingers in a cross gesture over her heart.
"Promise. I will not come to you when Vegeta breaks my heart." She laughed. "Yeeah right."
Chi Chi swam over and watched the GR with her.
"But then again…Vegeta would probably be perfect for your sexual needs…"
Bulma almost jumped.
"Chi Chi!"
Her friend shrugged.
"Maybe it's the alcohol talking, but that man has a great ass."
Bulma giggled and looked back at the GR. Who would've thought that Chi Chi of all people?!
"If you're going to go for it," the black-haired woman continued, "I say go for it all the way. What if you could capture the heart of the Prince of Saiyans, B? I mean, can you imagine Vegeta, following you around, leaving you roses, cooking you breakfast, doing the laundry…?" Chi Chi was off in her own little fantasies of the perfect husband.
"You forgot who you're talking about Chi…" Bulma's eyes softened. "I don't think he has a heart." Then she smirked. "But I'm not greedy…I'll take a ride in the hay any day!"
Chi Chi giggled and turned around, sitting and sighing. Bulma joined her.
"That's something I want to ask you Chi…what…what would you do to get a Saiyan's attention?"
Chi Chi looked at her friend, raising an eyebrow. She crossed her arms.
"You lied to me about Yamcha earlier today."
"Damn, how'd you know?" Bulma could tell the best of lies. Her acting abilities had come in handy yesterday when she dumped Yamcha…
"I'm a mother. Lies become transparent." Chi Chi grinned. "Now, you want to know how to get a Saiyan's attention? Easy…"
Bulma scooted closer in order to hear.
"…the way to a Saiyan's heart…"
"Yes?" Bulma begged.
"…is through his stomach."
Author's Notes: Uh-oh…Bulma cooking? In order to impress someone?! Ouch! Poor Vegeta. ^_^ Leave a review!