Season 2, Episode 1:

"Two Lads, A Girl, and a Lamp!
Enter the Mysterious Djinn"

With the voice talents of:
Sarah Strange as Ranma Saotome/Venus Terzo as Ranko Saotome
Cam Clarke as Kenma Saotome
Kelly Sheridan as Ukyo Kuonji
Terrence MacGovern as Djinn/D. Jinn
Frank Welker as Tomo [the Meowth]
Cathy Weseluck as Shampoo
David Kaye as Soun Tendo
Garry Chalk as Genma Saotome
Angela Costain as Nabiki Tendo
Willow Johnson as Kasumi Tendo
Myriam Sirois as Akane Tendo

Yeah, we're back, everyone. And this time, we start out with a mostly original chapter.

Also, now Pokémon exist in this universe along with real animals. More of them will be popping up later, but feel free to suggest a 6-Pokémon team for Ranma or Kenma in your reviews.

In our first adventure, Genma Saotome brought his sons Ranma and Kenma back to Japan after a 16-year training trip. The reason was to fulfil an idiotic promise he'd made with his friend Soun Tendo-probably made while they were both drunk: that Genma's son or sons would be engaged to Soun's daughters, so as to carry on the legacy of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.

Alas, Ranma found himself forcibly engaged to Soun's youngest daughter: a cranky, arrogant misandrist named Akane, who made it clear she wanted nothing whatsoever to do with Ranma or Kenma, the latter of whom got a better deal out of being engaged to Akane's second-oldest sister Nabiki.

After several months of insane misadventures, Ranma and Kenma, as well as their new friends, beat the living shit out of their enemies so far, and Ranma & Kenma took off for China, little realizing that Ukyo Kuonji is looking for them, seeking to get even for Genma's idiotic actions.

Of course, none of the three even realize that things are about to get a bit more hectic before they return to Nerima...

[For this scene, play the Route 1 theme from Pokémon]

It's been a couple of weeks since we last saw Ranma and Kenma in-universe. After they set off, they stowed away on a fishing boat and headed to China while working with the crew to cover their tracks. And now, we're checking in as they trek through China once again—although from what I can tell, they seem to be a bit lost!

"Ranma...I think your curse might have some influence on our path," Kenma suggested.

"Whaddya mean?" asked Ranma.

"Think about it: five times in these past two weeks we've ended up walking into lakes," Kenma explained. "I think your curse is fighting to preserve itself."

"Maybe," Ranma responded. "What do you suppose everyone back in Japan is up to?"

"Mr. Tendo's probably bawling his eyes out," Kenma stated. "Gushing twin waterfalls. The old man is probably going on and on about how 'he has raised a pair of ungrateful, disrespectful brats' and how the schools will never be joined, y'know: blah-blah-blah. Kuno has most likely deluded himself into thinking his loss was a fluke, Ryoga is probably formulating revenge schemes, and Akane is probably frothing like a mad dog, screaming about how much she hates our guts."

Ranma guffawed. "Yeah, wouldn't surprise me. What about Kasumi and Nabiki?"

"Kasumi's a people person, so she's probably made some friends," Kenma replied. "And Nabiki? She's probably going about her business, while secretly longing for my safe return."

"You really miss her, don'cha?" asked Ranma.

Kenma shrugged. "Am I that obvious?" he inquired.

"You could see it from space, man," Ranma replied. "And...I guess that's fine."

"Nice to know the great Ranma Saotome isn't completely devoid of sensitivity," Kenma joked.

"Hey, I can be sensitive when I wanna!" Ranma replied. "Just not in public, is all."

"Right, cuz then the old man would go on one of his usual shpiels about being a man among men which probably involves bottling up your feelings, or something like—WHOA!" Kenma exclaimed as he suddenly tripped and fell, landing on his face.

"Kenma, you okay?" asked Ranma as he went over to his brother.

"A little shaken-up, but not too badly damaged," Kenma grunted as he got into an upright-sitting position. "What'd I trip over?"

Glancing further down, Ranma saw that Kenma had been tripped up by what looked like some sort of mug handle...except it had a brassy color to it. Digging at the dirt around the handle, Ranma managed to pull it free and see that the handle was attached to some kind of oil lamp.

"Geez...who'd bury a lamp out here?" queried Ranma.

"Y'know, I think there's some kinda story about this," Kenma commented. "Maybe we oughta dust it off?"

Ranma scoffed. "Oh, yeah, sure, Ken," he retorted while giving the lamp a few rubs. "I rub this thing, and then a genie is gonna come out, right?"

"Well, gee whiz, pal, way to spoil the surprise!" a small voice echoed from inside the lamp.

Ranma's eyes went wide, and he glanced at Kenma. "...that was you, right?" he asked.

"Ahhhhhh...nope," Kenma shook his head. Both brothers glanced downward at the brass lamp, which was starting to emit a plume of blue fog. Startled, Ranma fumbled the lamp and dropped it on its side as a person's shape began to take form in the fog.

As it cleared, both brothers could plainly see a young man about Kasumi's age physically, standing before them; he was clad in a red vest, baggy pants, pointy-toed purple shoes, and a bandanna wrapped around his scalp.

"So...are you a genie?" Kenma asked.

The young man glanced down at himself. "Last I checked, yeah!" he replied. "At least, that's what they said I was back in 1990!"

"...excuse us for a quick second," Kenma insisted as he pulled Ranma into a huddle. "Duuuuuuude...WE FOUND A FREAKIN' GENIE!" he whispered loudly.

"I know! Maybe we don't NEED to go to Jusenkyo!" Ranma whispered back. "Maybe we can just wish the curse away!"

"It's worth a shot," Kenma replied, before they turned to face the djinn. "Hey, excuse me? Mister Genie?"

"Please, 'Mister Genie' was my old man!" the young man replied. "Call me 'D. Jinn'!"

"Right...well, D. Jinn, I have my first wish," said Ranma. "I wish that I was cured of my Jusenkyo curse!"

D. Jinn wiggled his fingers and his hands coursed with magical energy, before he zapped Ranma, engulfing him in a bright light. When it faded, Ranma looked normal.

"Did it work?" asked Kenma.

"We gotta test it," said Ranma. "Hey, D. Jinn, I wish for a glass of water!"

"Coming up!" D. Jinn exclaimed as he conjured up a glass of water. Taking it from his hand, Kenma reared back, and immediately dumped the contents over Ranma's head!

...but to his surprise, Ranma was still a guy. In disbelief, Ranma quickly checked his chest. No breasts...still his normal chest!

[cue Ode to Joy 1 by Ludwig van Beethoven, from the 7:20 point onwards]

He was beside himself with joy. No more having to beg for hot water...or dress up in girls' clothes! He was FREE! FREE, I TELL YOU!

"I'm...cured..." Ranma exclaimed, his voice trembling. "...I'M CUUUUUUUURED!" he screamed in joy.

He grabbed Kenma, and the both of them began to dance around in glee. "~I'm cured! [He's Cured!] I'm cured! [Yeah, Cured!] I'm cured for sure! I'm cured, it can't be ignooooored~!" they sang.

"Whoa, guys, I didn't cure him," explained D. Jinn. "I only made it so he could will the transformations to occur whenever he wanted. That way it doesn't get set off by hot and/or cold water!"

Ranma and Kenma looked at each other. "...well, cured is cured, regardless!" Ranma shrugged with a hearty laugh.

"I bet everyone back home will lose their shit about this!" Kenma grinned.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN NERIMA...

"SAOTOME!" bawled Soun, in his usual shooting geysers from his eyes manner. "HOW COULD YOU HAVE RAISED SUCH DISRESPECTFUL SONS?!"

"I don't quite know what got into them, Tendo," replied Genma as he was now wearing a cast on his right foot and carrying a pair of crutches. "But I'd bet a million yen that they didn't even get Ranma cured. And once they're done with this fool's errand, they'll come crawling back, ready to apologize and see that I was right all along!"

"Big whoop, so WHAT if they come crying back?!" Akane snapped as she was whaling on a punching bag with a crudely-drawn picture of Ranma on it. Apparently she'd healed up faster than her father and his friend. "They can beg and plead all they like, I'm NOT gonna take them back! That Ranma is more trouble than he's worth...besides, it's been nice and quiet ever since they left!"

"Yeah," Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Nice, quiet, and boring."

"Isn't there somebody you wish was here right now?" asked Kenma.

"...oh! You mean Ucchan!" replied Ranma. "Hey, D. Jinn, you can only grant 3 wishes, right?"

"Actually, that's just for ring genies," D. Jinn replied. "Lamp genies can grant more than that."

"Oh! W-well, then..." Ranma cleared his throat. "I wish that Ukyo Kuonji was here!"

"Your wish is my command, big guy," D. Jinn replied as he drew his sleeves up and waggled his fingers. "BLATHERSKITE!" he exclaimed as he put his hands out and zapped forth a young man around Ranma's age; he had brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a matching robe, while carrying a spatula the size of a tree trunk on his back.

The boy looked around in disbelief before he spotted Ranma.

"...so, it's you at last..." he glowered. "Ranma Saotome...and your little brother, too! I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for 10 years!"

Eyecatch art: Ranma and Ukyo soaring on a flying carpet while Kenma rides next to them aboard a flying cloud. on the bottom left corner is the "Ranma 1/2" english logo. On the right side of the logo is "Will Return After These Messages".

TERRY MACGOVERN: Hey, gang. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors!

Hi, everybody! We're back from commercials!

"Ucchan..." Ranma blinked, amazed. "You're really here!"

"That's right," Ukyo replied. "And now, I can finally get even with—"

But he was caught off-guard by Ranma suddenly grabbing him in a bear-hug. "What's this?" he asked. "Are you gonna try and squeeze the air from my lungs?"

"It's a hug, Ukyo," Kenma stated. "He's happy to see you, see?"

Ukyo's face went bright-red. "...well...nice to see I've been missed, but I'm still gonna take you down!" he declared.

"Hey, Ucchan, Ken's been telling me this crazy theory that you're a girl, but I don't believe it," Ranma replied.

"No duh I'm a girl," Ukyo retorted. "What, you thought I was a guy?"

Ranma's face went blank, and he did a double-take. "...what?" he asked.

"TOLD YA!" Kenma called.

"Why did you leave me behind 10 years ago?!" Ukyo glowered, her eyes aflame. "And HOW did you get me here?"

"...well, to answer your second question, we have a genie now," Ranma responded. "I wished you were here, and...well, that happened."

"Hi there!" D. Jinn waved cheerfully.

"...so that's a genie, huh?" asked Ukyo. "Prove it."

"Sure," Kenma replied. "Hey, D. Jinn? I wish I had a...magic flying cloud I could ride on."

"Magic flyin' cloud, eh?" asked D. Jinn. "OK! BBBBBBLATHERSKITE!" he exclaimed, as he waved his finger and conjured up a fluffy, white cloud. Curious, Kenma climbed onto it as it sat in place.

"Nice, nice...but let's see how it handles!" Kenma muttered as he got comfortable and got into a standing position. "...go, magic cloud?" he suggested.

Rearing back like a racecar, the cloud shot off into the air, Kenma struggling to stand atop it before he managed to get his bearings, and began riding it like a skateboard.

"WOOOOOOOOOOO-HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he exclaimed as it did a bunch of loops and spins before it returned to the main area.

Ukyo blinked in surprise, and gave herself a little pinch on the shoulder. "OW!" she winced. "...yep, it's real."

"So, why are you so cheesed off at Ranma?" asked D. Jinn.

"Because he and his father took my cart from me," glowered Ukyo. "Not to mention they welshed out on the promise!"

"What promise?" asked Ranma.

"Your old man promised my old man that he would take me with you!" declared Ukyo.

Ranma winced visibly at that. Note to self, when we return to Nerima, encourage Ukyo to take swift painful revenge on the old man, he thought. "Look, Ucchan...I had time to think about it...ten years, in fact...and I realized I regretted leavin' you behind," he spoke up in an earnest tone of voice. "So...I wanna make sure I come close to even earnin' your forgiveness. Do whatever you need to."

"Is that so?" Ukyo asked, pacing around the area for a few minutes. "Hey, genie! You take requests, right?"

"In wish form, sure," replied D. Jinn.

"Very well, then," Ukyo smiled as she went over to him. "I wish for..." she began, before she started whispering into his ear. He had to poof up a notepad and pen to jot all these things down.

"A tall order for sure, but one I can account for!" D. Jinn said before he waved his fingers. "BLATHERSKITE!" he exclaimed as he zapped up a massive wrestling ring...which was actually a giant griddle.

"I'd hate to see the pancakes that get made on THAT thing!" Kenma remarked. From aside, he heard a pained yelp, and directed the cloud to follow the sound.

Ukyo climbed into the ring and rolled up her sleeves, while Ranma climbed onto the other side of the ring.

"OK, Ucchan, let's get this show on the road, eh?" he asked.

"Don't call me that," Ukyo glowered. "You haven't earned back the right to call me that yet!"

Reaching into her robe, she flung a handful of smaller spatulas at Ranma, making him tumble backwards...only to feel the sting of the grill's surface.

"YEEE-OWCH!" he exclaimed as he blew on his burnt hand, trying as best as he could to cool it off.

"So you figured it out yet?" asked Ukyo. "This isn't just a wrestling ring, it's a giant griddle! Hot enough to fry an ostrich egg!"

"Now there's an omelet..." Ranma muttered as his stomach growled.

"Good thing you're hungry, cuz I'm about to serve up my special recipe!" Ukyo grinned as she spooned some of the batter from a nearby bowl. Then, like a slingshot, she flung some of the batter at Ranma, who darted and dodged to avoid it...until it landed on his feet! "That's my special deep-dish batter, but with a little rubber cement added in for that extra kick!"

"Rubber cement?!" Ranma blanched visibly at that. He tried as hard as he could to pull his legs free, but he was totally trapped!

Meanwhile, Kenma was flying over the trees with his cloud until he found the source of the pained yelping—an injured cat. Now, normally Kenma didn't deal with cats, because of Ranma's crippling fear of them, but the little guy was hurt. He had to help somehow.

Climbing off the cloud, Kenma made his way through the brush to see the cat for himself. When he arrived, he was met with a surprise: somebody had already made it to the cat—somebody familiar, in fact.

"...SHAMPOO?!" he blurted, doing a double-take.

The purple-haired chinese girl glanced in his direction. "...Kenma?" she asked, before her eyes sparkled. "AIYAA~!"

Before Kenma knew it, Shampoo had immediately tackled him with a bear-hug. "Wh—OOF!" he exclaimed as she barreled him over.

"I'm so happy to see you!" she exclaimed...in surprisingly improved Japanese.

"Somebody's been reading their dictionary, I see..." Kenma grunted. "I didn't expect to find you...but I'm glad I did. That little guy over there needs help."

Shampoo nodded. "Yeah. That's why I came out here, too!"

BACK AT THE FIGHT...

If Ranma wasn't struggling before, he was certainly struggling now due to being bound by his arms in rubber-cement-mixed yakisoba noodles.

"Silly me, I forgot to oil the grill!" Ukyo exclaimed as she sent a giant oil brush spinning across the griddle's surface, coating it in the slippery substance. Ranma managed to jump away from the brush, but he slipped and slid since he couldn't stand upright.

"But let's not forget that extra ingredient," Ukyo smirked as she picked up a bucket and emptied its contents all over Ranma's head. "TEMPURA FLAKES, MIXED WITH GUNPOWDER!"

Ranma flinched and covered his eyes as tiny explosions went off all around him. It was like somebody was popping firecrackers in his skull! To put it simply, the guy was overwhelmed!

As the dust surrounded Ranma, Ukyo brushed her hands off. "Nothing left but the clean-up," she smirked. But before she could walk away, suddenly her own yakisoba noodles shot out and bound her arms like pythons!

Once the smoke cleared away, there stood Ranma, and he didn't look happy.

"I went easy on you because we were buddies once..." he told Ukyo. "But I've grown tired of your games, and the time has come that we finish this once and for ALL!"

Ramna instantly started swinging Ukyo around and around by the noodles, until he'd built up enough momentum and threw her into the air. Once she was skybound, Ranma leapt after her and chased her down.

"COME BACK HERE!" he bellowed.

Ukyo grabbed her giant spatula and swung at Ranma, who slid under and kicked her in the breadbasket, knocking her over.

"I go outta my way, to be nice, to ask to earn your forgiveness..." he growled as he grabbed the spatula. "...AND YA TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY KINDNESS?!"

He slashed the spatula at Ukyo, cutting off her hair ribbon and her binding, the latter of which exposed her chest. Quickly, Ukyo jumped to her feet and covered herself.

"You had your fun on that little hot plate of yours..." scowled Ranma as he bent the spatula into a pretzel shape; by now, his eyes were glowing like two embers. "Well...now it's my turn to have some fun!"

His teeth started to become sharp incisors, the string binding his ponytail braid snapped, causing it to flow loosely and surge up behind him, and his muscles tensed against the fabric of his shirt to the point that they were about to tear through it.

Ukyo noticed, and suddenly felt a bit warm, but she didn't have much time to enjoy it before Ranma began throwing punches and kicks—all of which, surprisingly, were backed with what sounded like the roar of a cheetah.

"R-ranma, wait!" Ukyo begged as she dodged the blows.

"Oh, sure, you wanna wait now that you're no longer in control!" Ranma spat, continuing his assault. "Where was that when you had ME on the ropes? You started this little game, and now you wanna call it quits cuz it ain't fun anymore?"

"I never wanted to fight, okay?!" Ukyo blurted, making Ranma grind to a halt.

"Then why go to all this trouble?" inquired Ranma.

"...I just wanted an excuse to see you again," Ukyo sighed. "I'm a better chef than a wordsmith."

Ranma gave a dry chuckle. "An' I'm better at fightin' than I am with talkin'," he replied. "Maybe we could just sit and talk?"

"I'd like that," Ukyo nodded as they both copped a squat.

"So, after the old man took off, he sold the cart to somebody to get a nosh of their food," explained Ranma. "And then he tried to teach me this crazy techique called the 'Neko-Ken'. Y'know how he does it?"

"How?"

"Wrapped me in fish sausages, and chucked me into a pit full of starved cats. Do you know what that does to the mind of a six-year-old, Ucchan? Bad. Things."

"...oh, my god..."

"Since then, I can't get near a cat without goin' ballistic. It's like every other sense I have takes a permanent vacation and the only thing in my brain is 'fear, bad, run'," Ramna stated.

Ukyo placed a hand over her mouth in shock. Here she was, thinking that she'd been put through the wringer, while Ranma had basically been torn to shreds by his life experiences and patched back together.

"...and that's ALL before Jusenkyo," Ranma spoke, with a drizzle of bitterness to his tone.

"What's Jusenkyo?" asked Ukyo.

"A so-called 'legendary training ground' of cursed springs," stated Ranma. "The old man decided it was a good idea to go there for training..."

Yep. We're flashing back to this, again. Apologies; we hope to only have to use this flashback at least one more time before we stop.

A somewhat paunchy Chinese man in a brown coat and hat gestured towards the area. "Here, sirs. We come to famous Training Ground of Cursed Springs, Jusenkyo." he said, while holding up a sign.

"Uh, Dad, are you sure it's a good idea training at a place with 'Cursed' in the name?" asked Kenma. "That seems like we're asking for trouble."

Genma waved his son's concerns off. "Don't be so whiny, Kenma. That's probably there to scare off unworthy cowards, not like yours truly!" he responded.

"OK..." Kenma shrugged as he sat as far from the water as he could. "You two have fun, jumping around on bamboo poles up there. I'm just gonna be...over here, with my notebook, nice and dry."

"You very strange ones, sirs," said the tour guide. "This place VERY dangerous! No-one use it now, cuz more than one hundred spring here, and each one have own tragedy happen there!"

"Which is PLENTY of incentive for me to stay out of them," Kenma responded as he got out a pencil and began drawing, while Ranma and Genma began sparring.

Soon, Ranma knocked Genma off the bamboo pole and into the water!

"Hey, Pop! Ya done already?" called Ranma. To his surprise, out of the water came not Genma, but a tremendous panda wearing his jacket! And judging from how easily he stood atop the bamboo pole, this panda was very good at balancing.

"What the-?!" exclaimed Ranma and Kenma, both boys equally shocked.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" shouted Ranma.

"That Xióngmāoneechuan," explained the tour guide as he held up a sign. "Spring of Drowned Panda. Very-tragic legend of panda who drown 2,000 year ago. Now whoever fall in take body of panda!"

Ranma glared at the tour guide. "Hey, you never mentioned anything about THIS!" he spat.

"Actually, yes, he did!" Kenma called up, right before Panda-Genma leapt at Ranma, and with one fierce punch, knocked the boy flying right into another spring.

"Smooth move, Dad," Kenma remarked. "You better hope he's okay, or it'll be YOUR head on the choppin' block." he got to his feet and went over to see if Ranma was okay. However, to his surprise, instead of his brother, a very attractive young woman with wide blue eyes and red hair emerged from the water.

"Ah, now you fall Nyanneechuan: Spring of Drowned Girl," said the tour guide. "There, very tragic legend of young girl who drown 1,500 year ago. Now, whoever fall in spring..."

"OK, sir, I think we get it," Kenma said. "...Ranma? Is that YOU?!"

"Of course it is...I think," Ranma responded, before she looked down and saw that her gi was filled out by a very bountiful chest. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Aaaah, is right!" Kenma responded. "...of all the things to get turned into, WHY did my own brother have to turn into something so breathtaking?!"

Ukyo could scarecely find the words to describe what she was feeling. One hand, there was shock at the fact Ranma had been burdened with such an unusual curse. On the other hand, there was anger at Genma's unfathomable idiocy.

Nothing said she couldn't go for both.

"So just what was the old man's supposedly brilliant plan?" she asked, trying to hold back her righteous fury.

"Get this: he drags me and Ken back to Japan so we can get married off," said Ranma. "Apparently he made some promise to his friend, this guy named 'Tendo', that when their kids came of age, they would marry each other and 'carry on the legacy of the School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts'. Alas, I drew the crap card here; I got forcibly engaged to his youngest, Akane: a bad-tempered, volatile uncute tomboy with all the charm of a warthog; actually, that'd be an insult to warthogs."

"So you didn't even want this, is what I'm getting?" inquired Ukyo.

"Spot-on," nodded Ranma. "I don't even like her, and she doesn't like me one bit. The old men both claim that "we'll learn to love one another", but personally, I think it would've ended with one of us killing the other."

Ukyo placed a hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Man...you must've really been put through the wringer, huh?" she asked. "And here I am thinking I'm the one who had it rough all these years..."

"Hey, it's not like you were living it up all this time," Ranma responded. "Besides...even if I didn't know you were a girl, I always wanted to leave and find ya, Ucchan. Maybe I had some sorta feelings for you, but I just never knew what they were."

"We might not be good with words...but let's at least try starting with something simple," Ukyo smiled. "...I'm sorry I was so mad at you."

"Well, I'm sorry for going ballistic on you," Ranma replied.

"...it's okay; I forgive you," they both told each other, before they laughed. These laughs were genuine and warm; the laughs of two old friends being reunited after a decade.

"Hey! Ranma!"

"Ranma!"

Ukyo and Ranma glanced over to the far left and saw Kenma and Shampoo racing over to them, the latter carrying a bundle in her arms.

"Oh, hey, Ken," Ranma replied. "Hey, Shampoo. What's up?"

"Well, we found this little guy hurt in the woods," explained Kenma. "So we're gonna look after 'im."

"What is that in there...?" Ranma wondered as he curiously reached for the corner of the cover. As he lifted it up a bit, he immediately went pale with shock.

Underneath the blanket was a small, catlike animal with black ears and a golden, koban-shaped object on its forehead.

"Cuh...cuh...c-c-cat...that's a c-c-cat under there...!" Ranma stammered, sweating bullets.

"Yes, Ranma, I know it's a cat," Kenma stated. "But it's injured, remember? This thing couldn't hurt you even if it wanted to."

"...you sure?" asked Ranma. Kenma nodded firmly.

"We're gonna nurse it back to health, and you're gonna help," he said. "You want to cast aside your ailurophobia, right? Then maybe this is the way."

"W-well...okay..." Ranma gulped. "If you think this will work."

"Trust me on it," Kenma replied with a nod and a smile. "Now, since we got what we were looking for...I think it's time we headed back to Nerima."

"All of us," Ranma added, glancing at Ukyo, who smiled widely in response.

"Correct-a-mundo," Kenma smiled. "Hey, D. Jinn?"

"You rang?" the djinn asked as he materialized in an instant, next to the redheaded boy.

"I wish that we were back home in Nerima, BUT I want us to return home in a cool, cinematic sort of way," Kenma explained. "Can you do that?"

D. Jinn rubbed his chin a bit. "A bit unusual, but sure!" he said.

"Also, I wish you could disguise yourself as a human being," Kenma added. "We don't need anybody figuring out we have you on our side and trying to steal your lamp."

"Now that's savvy!" D. Jinn replied, before he nodded [a la Jeannie], and in a flash, the group had vanished.

BACK IN NERIMA...

Hiroshi, Daisuke, and Ryunosuke were heading home from school that day; sure, they each kept up their training, but otherwise they had mostly resumed their normal lives.

"I wonder what Ranma and Kenma are up to?" pondered Daisuke. "There's all kinds of crazy stuff they could get up to in China."

"Probably fighting some sort of monster," responded Hiroshi. "Or running from angry villagers. It's pretty up-in-the-air."

"Or maybe...they're on their way home," said Ryno.

"Yeah? What makes you say that?" asked Daisuke.

"That," Ryno said as she pointed up the hill.

[play track: The Victor's Dance by Kenji Yamamoto]

Appearing in the distance were five individuals, who were striding towards Nerima. Three boys, and two girls; all with determined, cool expressions on their faces.

"Is it...?"

"No way. Couldn't be."

"But it is."

Kenma flashed a wink at his buddies. "Hey, guys...you're looking well!" he vocalized.

Seconds later, he was immediately glommed onto in a three-person bear hug.

"Dude, it is you!" Hiroshi exclaimed. "And ya brought back three people, too!"

"Everybody...this is Ukyo," said Ranma. "Let's just say we go way back."

"And our friend here is Kagetomo," Kenma replied, pointing at the disguised D. Jinn.

"How about showing up at the dojo and making it clear you've returned?" asked Ryno.

Kenma laughed. "Sounds good t'me!" he beamed. "Wait'll the old man gets a load of us."

With burning confidence in their souls, the entire team ventured off to the Tendo Dojo.

Meanwhile, at the Tendo Dojo, things proceeded as usual. Akane was doing the same lame training, Nabiki was bookkeeping, Kasumi was making dinner, Soun and Genma were playing shogi, and P-Chan was hanging around Akane, eyeballing her.

Suddenly, the door slid open, and Ranma & Kenma re-entered the house.

"YO, OLD MAN!" called Ranma. "WE'RE BA-AAAAACK!"

Immediately, there came the sounds of pounding footsteps.

"Uh-oh...it's a stampede," remarked Kenma.

Seconds later, the boys were barraged by two pissed-off fathers and one pissed-off 16-year-old girl.

"RANMA! WHERE WERE YOU GALLIVANTING OFF TO?!"

"SO, BOY, DID YOU FIND YOUR PRECIOUS CURE FOR JUSENKYO WATER?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?!"

Ranma looked at Kenma, and gave a nod. Immediately, Kenma got a paper bag from Ukyo, blew it up with a few breaths, and burst it.

BANG!

The resulting loud noise silenced everyone who had been yelling.

"Is everyone ready to shut up now?" Kenma asked. "Yes? Splendid."

"...so, boy, did you find your precious cure?" Genma scoffed. "Or did you finally realize this was idiotic, and come home to accept your fate?"

"First, I don't accept fate, I kick fate in the groin," stated Kenma. "Second of all, Kasumi, couldja bring me a glass of cold water? I'm going to conduct a demonstration."

"Of course!" Kasumi nodded as she went into the kitchen. Seconds later, she returned with a glass of cold water.

"Thank you," Kenma replied as he faced forward. "Note, the water has not been tampered with in ANY way! Just a statement for clarity."

"What's the meaning of this, Kenma?" asked Soun.

"It's a demonstration, sir," Kenma stated, as he immediately poured the water all over Ranma's head. And to everyone's surprise...Ranma stayed a guy.

Genma's jaw hit the floor with a KLANG!, and so did Akane's.

"Note, the lack of breasts," Kenma pointed out as he gestured to Ranma's chest. "That's right, he's all-dude."

"But hey, I like him either way~!" Ukyo beamed as she hugged Ranma. The second Genma caught a glimpse of her, he immediately began tiptoeing backwards, readying to run for the door.

Of course, he didn't get far, due to being pinned to the wall by Ukyo's spatula barrage.

"U-ukyo...what a pleasant surprise...!" he grinned sheepishly.

"Cut the crap, old man," Ukyo spat as she cracked her knuckles. "Ranma-honey told me everything. And I mean, everything. So I'm gonna take my time getting even with you...nice and slow."

"Let's not be hasty here...I had a good reason for doing what I did..." Genma begged and pleaded as Ukyo unpinned him and dragged him out to the backyard. "I already had my hands full with two children...how was I supposed to raise three of them?!"

"Every word you say only digs ya deeper~" Ukyo replied in a sing-song tone of voice as she tossed Genma outside. "Ranma-honey, you and Ken and Shampoo get settled in. This will only take a moment~!"

Ranma blushed and coughed into his fist a few times. "...sure thing, Ucchan. Thanks." he responded.

Ukyo giggled and closed the patio door behind her. The next things that could be heard were splashing, then a panda growling, and then the sounds of a giant spatula swatting somebody like a giant fly.

THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!

"Looks like the old man is finally getting what's coming to him," Ranma chuckled. "His just desserts."

"Yep," Kenma agreed. "He's getting served, but he won't be getting fed!"

Just then, Kenma glanced to his right and saw Nabiki standing nearby. Within seconds, he immediately grabbed her in a bear-hug and kissed her on the cheek a few times.

"Glad to have you back, Kenma," she told him.

"Glad to be back," Kenma replied. "I got a pretty good feeling that things are gonna get wilder from this point on."

Unnoticed by everyone else, the djinn lamp in Kenma's backpack gleams for a split second, as if winking, as we...IRIS-OUT.

NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW

NARRATOR: In our next adventure, that sword-swingin' sap Tatewaki Kuno is at it again. This time he's dispatched a nitwit of a ninja to discern just what Ranma's weakness could be. And after a couple of false leads, it looks like he might just have what his master seeks. Alas, as the old saying goes, "what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger"...except, at WHAT cost? Do Ranma and his buddies have what it takes to deal with THIS new spore of mayhem? Not to mention, what's THAT thing, way up in the sky?

Find out on Feline Frenzy, the next exciting episode of "Ranma 1/2: The Genie and the Champs"!