Title: Chances Lost

Author: Penne

E-mail: pennenew@aol.com

Rating: G, R

Classification: Mac/Webb?

Spoilers: Jagathon

Summary: Alternate outcomes to pre-Jagathon. This is the Webb version, taken from where we left off.

Disclaimer: I don't claim to own these characters, please don't sue. Forgot to put this in last chapter.

Harm sat in his car contemplating what he had just seen and heard. What the hell was going on? Surely not what it looked like: Mac and Webb? Life couldn't get any worse! He was so caught up in his thoughts he hadn't noticed the Admiral drive up and enter the apartment block.

A sudden tap on his window alerted him to the fact the Admiral was regarding him carefully through the windscreen.

"Commander. Care to explain why you are loitering out here?"

Harm got out of the car and warily met his CO's gaze. "I don't think that really needs any explanation Sir."

The Admiral pressed his lips together. "No. Are you going to be OK?"

The eyes that now looked at the Admiral were blank, devoid of all emotion. "Absolutely fine Sir."

AJ sighed resignedly. "Harm. Don't you think it is time you stopped hiding your emotions? It isn't that hard to let go."

"To lose control Sir? With all due respect Sir, it is that hard."

The Admiral sighed and shook his head. "Harder than it will be to lose her?" He gave harm a long penetrating stare.

"I just don't think I…."

AJ raised a silencing hand. "I am beginning to see where the Colonel's frustrations stem from." Harm had the grace to look guilty. "You realise you will lose her if you don't stop this foolishness? Eventually she is going to figure out there is more to life than pining after someone who only causes her pain." The Admiral hesitated and glanced up at her window. "Or maybe she already has." He watched the look of pain settle on the younger man's features, he gave a humourless smile and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically and left.

Harm looked back up at her lit window. 'I can't lose her.'

*********************************

Webb's confidence had begun to erode. He stood facing Mac's door contemplating his choices. 'Why the hell was she doing this? Why me? I am just setting myself up for a gigantic fall. She has been crazy about the Commander for the past 6 years - she is not likely to change that in the space of a couple of hours, no matter how mad at Rabb she is. She is going to trample on your heart.' He warned himself. 'The heart that you normally keep so carefully hidden from the world. She simply bats an eyelid in your general direction and you - yes you - the cold, heartless CIA agent, turn into a character from a Barbara Cartland novel. She is probably already regretting what just happened.' He nodded to himself.

"Hey Mister do you live here?"

He spun around to face a teenager carrying two pizzas, eyeing him suspiciously. Webb suppressed a small shiver, he never let himself become oblivious to what was going on around him, and yet this kid (wearing a Walkman blaring some hideous form of music) was 2 feet from him and he hadn't even known. He frowned. "Yes…..No!" He pulled out his wallet furiously. "Just give me the damn pizza's!"

"Yeah whatever man." The youth looked surly.

"Keep the change."

The kid's attitude change. "Thanks."

He heard the door open. "Clay?" Her voice was soft. He closed his eyes.

He inhaled deeply before facing her. He looked at her and wished (not for the first time) she felt about him the way she did about Rabb. "Hey, got the pizza!" He held up the food lamely.

"You OK?"

"Yep." He smiled falsely and walked past her into the living room.

She followed him silently and settled onto the sofa opposite him. "No you're not."

"No I'm not." He agreed. He leaned forward and held her gaze.

*****************************

She had watched the Admiral cross the road and talk to Harm with a mixture of trepidation and anger. He had no right to be there when she had told him to leave, but in her heart she had known he would. He was always there. Watching. At a distance.

She paced the apartment waiting for Webb's return. She had started to feel nervous about what was happening. Nervous and hungry - 'What was taking that pizza so long?!'

She finally heard some muffled voices at the door. She opened it. "Clay?" She saw how he stiffened at the sound of her voice, and how he paused before facing her. She felt him easing away from her. She had followed him to the living area, and waited patiently for him to explain what was wrong. After several minutes of silence she took pity.

"Don't worry about it Clay, you don't have to explain. It was a mistake." She didn't like the way she felt saying that. The atmosphere started to get very chilly. She looked down at her hands.

"It was?" His voice was neutral.

"Look I am sorry - I put you in a really difficult position. How were you going to say no to a woman who was swinging between crying and catatonic?" She tried a feeble smile, but it ended in a grimace. She grabbed a slice of pizza and shoved it in her mouth.

He had watched with an inscrutable look on his face. He didn't say a word. He sat back and crossed his legs.

Mac munched on her pizza, getting increasingly angrier. She wouldn't be able to get through now - CIA Webb had fallen back into place. She leaned forward to get another slice of pizza and caught his eyebrow quirking upwards. 'God he is infuriating! And cute - stop that!!' "Aren't you going to eat Webb?"

"So it is back to 'Webb' then Mac?" His smile didn't reach his eyes.

"You tell me."

"What?"

She jumped up and stood over him. "You're the one who has changed the game Webb."

He stood up quickly, eyes flashing ominously. They were face to face. His voice was low and angry. "Oh really? I could have sworn that was you grabbing me in that café."

Her eyes narrowed. "Fine! Thanks for your help. Don't feel you have to stay any longer!" She went to the door and held it open.

He slowly picked up his coat and walked over. He stopped in front of her and she faced him angrily. His smile was genuine, and sad. "I hope you sort things out with Harm, you two belong together. Goodbye Sarah." He brushed his lips across hers and left abruptly.

Moment's later Mac recovered enough to race down the stairs after him, only to find herself face to face with her partner.

"Mac, I.."

"Uh…" She tried to dodge around Harm, but he was having none of it, at length she managed to elude him and raced on to the street to see Webb's car disappearing from view. 'Damn!' She stood in the middle of the road, feeling a sense of deep loss.

"Mac?" Harms voice was laced with concern. He gently steered her off the road and up the stairs toward her apartment.

At her door she stopped and turned towards her partner. She smiled weakly. "Thanks Harm, I will be fine." She tried to look more convincing. "It has just been a long day. Looks like I won't be much competition for the race tomorrow."

"Yeah, well you still have your six minutes." He smiled.

Mac started to thaw. "Oh ye-es. I forgot." She grinned.

"You are going to need it." Harm leant against the doorway complacently.

Mac snorted. "We'll see." She laughed and pushed him out the door. "See you tomorrow Flyboy." She closed the door in his face, smiling cheekily.

***************************

In his car he watched silently as the lights went out in her apartment. His stomach clenched, Harm hadn't come out yet. He fervently hoped she was happy, 'Sleep tight Sarah, sweet dreams'. He reached out to start the car just as the tall Commander bounded out of the building. A slow smile crept across his face. As much as he wanted things to work out for Mac, he was inordinately happy when she hadn't allowed Harm to stay.

Webb waited until Harm left then started his car to leave also. He took one last glance up toward her window, and froze. The window was darkened but he sensed she was there. He remained motionless watching the shadows. After several minutes he saw her hand press against the glass, as if in farewell and the spell was broken. He did the same to the car window, started the car and drove home.

*****************************

In the darkness of her apartment Mac watched Webb. In the back of her mind she registered Harm leaving, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was returning her gaze. Silent tears coursed down her cheeks, 'Thank you for caring Clay.'

She slept well knowing someone had her best interests at heart.

*******************************

To be continued?