IMPORTANT -a/n: I added almost a page to Chapter five and replaced it, see as this it not putting up a new chapter, those who check in regularly might not have know about the changes. Anyway, I highly suggest going back to chapter five, checking the ending and seeing if you recognize it, otherwise you are going to be very confused with this chapter. thanx

I can't have anything I want

Harry pov

I stare down on Draco's sleeping form, nestled upon the couch and draw a blanket gently around him. He shifts in his sleep and sighs softly, his hair shakes loose from the stiff gel and drifts down to frame his face. He fell asleep before I could even answer him, perhaps it was the stress of the day, it is late though.

I slipped out of the dorm, embracing the ice cold of the oblivion I create to pass through this world. I walk along the deserted hallways, watching the dancing shadows that move along the walls with me. The castle sleeps and I continue, I constantly continue along in this world, with no relief. Ever since my power has begun to grow and expanded, so has my need for rest diminished. Now it has come t the point where I need no sleep at all, pure energy is my constant bodily supplement.

It is this time, in the depths of night, when I am most left alone. I can only think and every time, every moment burns upon my mind. I hate the night and love it at the same time. It has taught my to both love and hate and see through all illusions. I founded myself in this time and discovered the true truth is what I want, what I wish.

I slip around another corner, smiling slightly as I spot Dumbledore's form leaning back against a wall, shimmering slightly. A sign of an invisibility shield.

"Hello, Professor." I say softly as I negate the shield around him.

He looks at himself with surprise then at me, his eyes widening in shock, "Harry? Is that you?"

I nod, "It's only what I am, old man."

His looks at me curiously at this, "You've changed quite a bit, my boy."

I touch my face gently, "I had an interesting summer."

"Why did you leave, Harry? We thought you had been destroyed, we were all very worried."

I step up to him, watching him lazily, "You did a very good job of covering it up, I noticed." and I step past him. "I am just a symbol, no one expects me to defeat Voldemort, I'm too weak. So as long as those who believe in me and my prophecy think I'm alive, they will continue and the war may be won. I have no purpose, except to exist and survive. So leave me alone, old man, to do my job." and I continue on walking away from him, "I can survive perfectly fine without your guidance."

Draco pov

I wake up to the dieing embers of a fading fire, my feet cold and the room filled with an overwhelming emptiness. It takes me a moment to remember where I am, what has happened to me. I swing my legs out and rest my feet on the cold floor, a shiver slips up my spine and I pull the blanket from the couch around my shoulders. I stand and look about the shadow cast room, empty of all but myself, my hair slips down around my face in loose arcs, framing my face and tickling my cheeks. I walk to the wall where we had come from before and touch it gently. My hand slips through and at the same time I am drawn in a strange delicious power envelops me and pulls me through the darkness.

I find myself on the other side, my body charged with unknown energy and the same energy's unmistakable scent still lingering in the air. I follow it, my feet chilling on the cold flagstones. Another chill slips down my spine and I pull the blanket closer around me as I go.

The shadows of the night dance around me, the light snatches of light catching in corners and moving with their own life. Fear from a childhood long gone reemerges and it all returns. The fear of shadows, monsters, father and death…curls up in my gut and spreads through me like a disease, implanting in my mind and soul . Those feelings of pain and the soft fading remembrance of my blood draining from body, when I tried to kill myself...

The things I tried to forget, the things I did forget for the longest time…my father had to get me out of the hospital….insanity is not becoming of a Malfoy….so I forgot…he made me forget……….I don't want to remember….I don't-

"I don't want to remember." I whisper

My hands, I can't feel my hands, my feet, I'm shaking….I can't stop shaking. My steps falter and I stumble against the grand doors that give entrance to the doomed of this school but the door isn't there and I fall to the cold wet grass. Despair, pain, agony….I fall in on myself. I remember…I remember….I couldn't do what he wanted, I couldn't perform the spell, I can't perform any of them….I can't….father is so angry at me…he hits me and curses me and when they don't work he hits me again……don't hurt me any more daddy…please don't…..he was the one who hit me, he was the one…..he made me forget for a very long time.

Tears prick my eyes and tumble down, I curl in on myself and hug my knees, flashes of memory assaulting me in a way a human hand could never do or did once…my own father…the man who helped bring me forth…I was never….I am nothing to him…I always….I've been just a tool for him all my life…he would kill his own son…and he would enjoy it and……get away with it….

I can hear my own voice carry up in a wordless cry of pain and despair. My heart is beating too fast...it hurts. I can hear my harsh breathing in my ears I can hear, I don't want any of this! I press my hands over my ears and scream…and scream

"Dragon."

My head shoots up, my hands fall away from my ears and I stare of at the gossamer images that wavers before my eyes, surrounded by and ethereal light and out from him radiates a light and warmth I have never known. Another tremor violently wracks my body and cry out soundlessly as the creature of light kneels down in front of me. I tense as he gathers me into his arms but he pulls me close against me and wraps me in his warmth.

I clutch his shirt, pressing my head against his chest and gasp for breath in uncontrollable terror. My instincts strike out violently and I feel myself deep within and the power, I open my eyes to his power, glowing like molten steel, surrounding him, filling him. I seize upon this seemingly limitless power and pull it within myself, feeding off it eagerly. I hear him gasp softly and his grip tightens upon me. And his power fills me and flows through my veins, caressing my very essence, shooting pleasure through my body and soul. For a single moment I found completement within that equilibrium. I can breath again and my body relaxes and my mind drifts away in the indefinite world of sleep and dreams.

Harry pov

I stumble up to my feet, returning unsteadily to the castle, exhaustion slows my steps and weighs Draco heavy in my arms.

It was too early for him to wake. I knew he had a powerful memory charm on him and the memories that were hidden behind them were filled with pain but I also knew that it was the key to unlocking his ability to absorb magical energy. I had wanted to bring him to his memories slowly, not like this.

To see Draco Malfoy, one of the strongest people that I know to exist, crumble and break before my eyes. The pain in his cry, the betrayal in his heart, the agony from his soul and body. I will never forget, it will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

I stumble on the stairs, clutching Draco tightly to me as my knee hits the stone painfully. I push myself up and continue on walking, stopping occasionally to lean upon the wall.

His natural instinct was overwhelming, it drew the magic from my body like the wind pulls along a leaf caught in the wind and yet it was like a lovers touch and gentle. I haven't felt this helpless for such along time, so weak.

I pause by the wall that leads to my chambers and desperately gather the last remnants of my energy to push myself through. The wall solidifies behind me after I have passed, catching my cloak in solid stone. I allow it to pull from my shoulders as I walk across the room, placing Draco upon the bed and collapsing next to him in exhaustion, falling into the dreamless of the damned.

(a/n: in the scene where Draco got his memory back-the shaking, lose of feelings in extremities, difficultly breathing and rapid heart beat are the typical symptoms for an anxiety attack.)