At long last, I've finished...over three months later than I intended…oh well...
_*_*_
Fuuma-is he really here to kill me?
Kamui-yes. I'm here to kill Fuuma.
Fuuma-oh shit.
Kamui-do you know where Fuuma is?
Everyone-*point*
Kamui-that's not Fuuma.
Kilandra-yes he is go on kill him, he looks like him and everything, kill him. *Nudge nudge*
Kamui-no that's not Fuuma.
Fuuma-whew, I'm safe
Kil-well, Kamui you can stay and if oh say you decide to kill him..
Fuuma-hey!
Kil-you can go right ahead.
Kamui-*nod*
Ryou-um, help. Kil! Can you get Bakura away from me!! *Puppy eyes*
Kil-I'm not looking I'm not looking…. damn I looked…fine. *Snap*
Bakura-huh? *Walks away from Ryou. *
Ryou-THANK GOD!
Kil-um, Shadi isn't here.
Everyone-???
Kil-what? Shadi is god. … Didn't you know?
Everyone- *shakes heads*
Anthy-I knew!!
Everyone-how…?
Anthy and Kil-*big long spiel about how Shadi is god but I'm too lazy to write it out but trust me Shadi is god, possibly fate too. You chose what ya want…*
Everyone-ooohhh….
Kinta- *is bored and tries to blow up Yami. * Shit, why didn't that work….
Anthy-*tries to blow up Kinta…doesn't work*
Kinta & Anthy- I don't think we'll be using our powers for the next couple days…
All guys (namely, Bakura, Malik and Yami..)-Thank RA! We're free!
Joey- why can't you use your powers?
Yami-it's that time of the month isn't it?
All females-WHAT?!
Anthy-how do know about that?
Kinta-talk or die.
Yami-well, there was this fortuneteller I used to visit and every month she'd have to close her shop for a few days and when I asked why she said 'it's that time of the month' and that girls can't use their magic and powers during it.. that's how I know…
Anthy-oh.
Yami-why? …does that time of the month mean something special???
All females –YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW!!
Yami-*blink* *nods meekly.*
Malik-heh heh heh, I think we need to teach him..
*Yami is whisked away by Bakura, Malik Duo and Kamui so they can explain what 'that time of the month' means as well as how babies are made since they were pretty sure he didn't know…*
*fifteen minutes later*
Duo-..and that's how babies are made.
Malik-we're done!
Yami - @.@ *silent*
Bakura-I think we killed him. *pokes him*
Yami-*blink*
Bakura- damn, he's not dead…
Anthy-so has he been enlightened?
Malik-you could say that. *smirk*
Duo-so Anthy ya still pregnant?
Anthy- *glare* Kamui, give me your sword, Duo just because I can't use my powers doesn't mean I can't still kill you….
Duo- wow you go the mood swings already.
Anthy-*hit* wait…something's screaming in my head, be back..
Two minutes later.
Anthy-it's a..it's! a…a. it it I *faint.*
Yugi-what is it?
Anshi appears...carring two small childeren. About two years old.
Everyone- ah!
Malik-shit…*edges away*
Kamui-*pokes Malik* stay.
Kil-are they..yours.. *gulp* …
Anshi-yes. They have my eyes.
And it was true the kids had the same black marks as Anshi around their eyes.
Kil - so..who's the father…? If I dare even ask…
Duo-ho w many guys ya been with?
Small girl Anshi child – shut up duo!
Duo- that's a creepy child…
Anshi- uh huh, now if you want to know the father, take a look at them and here's a hint...tin stick!
Bakura-thousand brick!
Yami-shut up! It was the subber's fault!!!
Anshi-need another hint? Sennen cane.
Yugi-Malik! Malik's the father!! The boy looks like Malik!
Kinta-oh they're so cute! * hugs small child*
Anshi-watch out they bite.
Kinta-huh? Ow!!!!
Anshi- they have my teeth too. *grins and shows pointed teeth.*
Small children- daddy! *attack Malik*
Malik-get them off! Go play with uncle Yami. *shoves children toward Yami*
Children- *pounce and hug Yami*
Kinta-so what are their names?
Anshi-names? Um, they don't have names…. Um, Anubis and …uh, Sheta… h, that's their names…
Yami- you're evil how dare you use my mothers name! You moraless bitch!
Anubis-*hits Yami* don't be mean to my mommy!
Yami-you trained them to hit people?!
Anshi-they just learned that on their own , I did teach them how to use magic…and steal..
Sheta-*runs toward Anshi* here mommy look what I got! *hands Anshi the millennium ring*
Bakura-I didn't even notice!! Ah!
Anubis- *runs forward* look what i got!* show's Heero's gun*
Heero- !
Kinta- they're good.
Anshi- they gotta be, they're mine after all.
Yami- I'm still mad you used her name, you dishonor my mother's name-
Wufei- injustice!
Sheta- *jump* * hit* * lands on feet* meanies.
Anubis *plays with Yugi and Ryou.*
Sheta- *joins*
Kamui- what ya playin?
Anubis- we're playing duel monsters! Wanna play! *smirk*
Yugi-I can teach you.
Kamui- sure.
Kil-okay so Anthy wasn't pregnant but Anshi was.. weird…
Anshi – I want child support!
Malik- *is about -
Anshi- don't you dare use that Sennen rod on me mister, I may have kids but I can still kick your sorry ass!
Malik- you don't need child support, hell those two could start their own crime ring what'd you need my money for?!
Anshi- because it makes you suffer, and it's fun.
Yami-sadist.
Anshi-damn straight. Fuuma get away from them you child harasser!
Fuuma I'm just watching the dual! Eep!
Anshi-get away from my son!
Fuuma- I'm not a harasser that was Pegasus!
Anshi- Where!?
Fuuma- well nowhere but he is… he's a harasser!
Anshi- don't' try to lie! Kamui get him!
Kamui- * goes after Fuuma with da big ole' sword*
Fuuma -*dash*
Yugi – damn, and he was winning too..
Yami- did you just say…
Yugi- damn right I did.
Kil- wow he's not so naïve I guess. Weird.
Sheta- don't' be mean to Yugi *glomps Yugi*
Kil-wow she's good at the puppy eyes fro being so evil.
Ryou- I showed her that.
Anshi- eh, she's young she'll grow of it.
Ryou- I'm fifteen and I still pull them off.
Anshi- well you're a poof, a nancy-boy poof. She's not.
Sheta- damn right I ain't!
Anthy – *wakes up* I really hope I was dreaming…shit I wasn't…
Sheta & Anubis – Aunt Anthy!! * hug Anthy*
Anthy- I feel loved. *looks at children* so Malik's the father?
Anubis- yep that's my daddy!
Anthy- sure it wasn't Yami Malik?
Malik- no, I remember doing it.
Yami- hentai.
Malik - as if you're any better…
Yami- least I only screw one girl at a time!
Everyone- ooo….
Malik- I bring my girls flowers.. they all actually like me.
Bakura- low blow … heh, continue.
Yami- I don't have to rely on my Sennen item to change their minds…
Anubis- they' hittin' below the belt!
Malik- least I don't spend my Saturday nights with my cards!
Everyone- oo..
Kinta- Yami's getting whooped.. ..I like.
Yami- hey least I don't' have an obsession with ice cubes.( a/n if you think we're lying we're not I have proof!)
Malik- *throws ice cubes at Yami*
Yami- * run for cover* * trips over box of pregnancy tests* what the hell!
Kinta- oh yeah, Anthy's pregnancy tests, heh. * reads back* we were wrong, blue means not pregnant, pink means pregnant…oh shit… *dashes to bathroom*
Kil- who's the father! Who impregnated my yami!
All males- *step away* Not me!
Kil- * glares* someone's lying.. BAKURA! It was you!!! Wasn't it!?
Bakura-…a …yeah….
Kil- I hate you more now.
Bakura- you hate me?
Kil- with a fiery vengeance
Bakura- okay, just so we're clear.
Kinta- *emerges* I'm going to kill you. Very painfully. Very slowly..
Anshi- it's not that bad, think of my wonderful kids!
Kinta- Die. * glare*
Kil- just wondering is there anyone else we need to know about? Who else is pregnant?
No one steps forward.
Kil- good.
Fuuma- aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!! *Kamui is still chasing him*
Kil- heh, kisama.. anyway…
Ryou- hey um, I'm sure everyone else is wondering too...how the hell did Anshi and Malik get together..?
Anshi- *shrug* drunk?
Malik- I was sober.
Ryou- was she?
Malik - as far as I know.
Anshi- what about magic? The items? I don't know..
Malik- spell maybe...I have no clue either.
Bakura- you can't even remember? That's really sad.
Kinta- * glares at Bakura* I hate you..
Bakura- don't kill me, think you'd be a single parent!
Kinta- who said I was actually going to have a child?
Bakura- um you're pregnant…
Kinta-no, I transferred its life, now Anthy's pregnant.
Anthy- what!?
Kinta- yeah, you're pregnant, you and Yami are having a baby.
Anthy- wha! HOW!!???
Kinta- magic, took my baby's life and put it in you except, it's now genetically yours and Yami's. Heh.
Anthy- * lunge* *strangle*
Kinta- ack! * shoves Anthy off, and hides behind Bakura.* I'll make you a deal Anthy!
Anthy- which would be…?
Kinta *whisper*
Anthy- I like, go ahead.
Kinta- *mutters a spell* heh, now guess whose pregnant?
Kil- I'm very afraid to ask…
Kinta- Heero is pregnant.
Heero- ! Nani?!
Kinta- well duo wanted a baby and now you two can have one! Have fun!
Katherine- *taps Kil on shoulder*
Kil- What?
Katherine- um, * points to clock*
Kil- omg! It's almost midnight! It's 11:54! Wow time went all fast and stuff… Attention!! Hey it's almost midnight we have six no five minutes left. DO YOU HEAR THAT! THE STORY IS FINALLY ENDING!!!
* fourth wall shatters.* * glass flies everywhere, random characters run and hide.*
Kil- …I thought that wasn't supposed to happen in humor fics. That's a big mess to clean up….
* clock striking midnight!!*
Everyone- Happy New Year!!!
Bakura- yeah too bad it's currently September….Kilandra you suck at timing.
Kilandra- yeah shut up. * tosses a broom at him* for that you get to clean this up.
Bakura- hell no.
Fuuma- * still being chased by Kamui and his sword.* AAHHH help me!!!!
Everyone pauses to watch, Fuuma trips on a random marble…that looks very similar to the one Anthy and Yami had a problem with earlier….Kamui proceeds to…* censored!!!!* ..and Fuuma is now a bloody corpse.
Kil- heh. Finally. * rings a noisemaker* now it's a happy new year. and the end!!!
_*_*_
wait wait wait! I have the epilogue ( very short and amusing. ) to post yet. Come back!