Fate is Mine
By HanyouGohan
Story One Shot/Song Fic

Disclaimer No, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin's characters or Linkin Park's "Lying from You"

When I pretend
Everything is what I want it to be
I look exactly like what
You always wanted to see

Yahiko pounded his fists against the cold, wet ground. He did it again, he couldn't believe it. He hated himself. He had betrayed Kenshin…again. He picked up his katana and flicked the blood off. Maybe he didn't care, maybe he did. He didn't know.

When I pretend,
I can't forget about the criminal
I am
Steeling second after second
Just 'cuz I know I can

Yahiko walked silently down the road. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go back home to the Kamiya dojo. Should he just leave, or continue to live his horrible lie? Kenji looked up to him, Kenshin honored him like a son, and Kaoru cherished him. And here he was doing the exact the opposite of what he says he does.

I can't pretend this is the way it'll stay I'm just
Lying to bend the truth
I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be,
So I'm

Before he turned the corner he looked back at the bloody corps. The young man's blood mixed with the rain water. He sighed and turned the corner. No tears escaped his eyes this time. He was used to seeing this type of thing. He pictured it apart of his life. HIS choice. It may be wrong, but he didn't care. Kenshin made the same mistake, and was trying to keep Yahiko from doing so. But he didn't care. He couldn't care, that wasn't who he was now.

Yahiko looked at the dojo's front gate. Should he go in? Or just vanish for another night.? He turned his back to the dojo and walked back down the road. For the first time in ages tears filled his eyes. He hated that too, he hated a lot of things. But he wasn't supposed to cry, only weak children did that. He slammed his fist into his face telling himself to grow up. But his eyes, his heart, and his mind didn't listen. Nothing listened to him anymore. He had no control over anything.

Lying my way from you.
I remember what they taught to me
Remember condescending talk for who I ought to be

Murder. That was the word right? When you kill someone. Yeah, Yahiko grew up hating that word. He got over it after a while. It was a part of everyday life, like suicide. Right? That's what Yahiko believed now. Murder was your only way to live. Murder was life, assassination was a tool for freedom. Death was a gateway to peace.

"Yahiko?" Yahiko darted around, his watery eyes widening. Standing there in the rain was the one person he didn't want to see. "Yahiko are you all right?"

"Iie, Kenshin. Don't worry about it." Yahiko looked down with a sad smile. Kenshin looked at him. He looked like Soujirro to him. Something was defiantly wrong.

"If everything is not alright why shouldn't I worry?" Kenshin asked. Yahiko stared at him. He didn't want to talk.ever. But, this could be his farewell. His goodbye to the past life he had loved, but now hated.

"Kenshin, sometimes people change." Yahiko started. "I'm one of those people. I've changed in the past six years. Im not the same ten year old boy you knew." Remember listening to all of that and this again

So I pretended up a person who was fittin' in
And now you think this person really is me
And I'm

"Yahiko, I know that." "Iie, you don't know. You'll never know until you search your assassin's soul!" Yahiko's hands clenched into fists by his side, and he squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm someone else. Someone you'd hate."

"What are you talking about? Yahiko, tell me...I'd understand."

"Kenshin, get it through your head! You'd NEVER understand. I don't think it's possible. You were a wonderer for ten years, and you then found where you belong. Maybe, where I belong isn't the best place...but it's what I want."

"I don't understand." Kenshin looked at Yahiko, sad and scared. "What do you mean?" Yahiko pulled out his katana and Kenshin's eyes widened. "Yahiko."

"I've never used that sakabatou you gave me, unless I was around you. Look at it Kenshin! What do you see!" Yahiko thrusted his blade at Kenshin. His tears continued to fall down his face. The rain blended in with it, so no one knew. "Kenshin, do you see the endless amount of blood on this blade! Do you see the lost soul's tears and torment all mixed with it?" Kenshin looked at Yahiko, what was he saying? Had he killed someone?

"Take a guess, Kenshin. Don't act stupid." Yahiko smirked at Kenshin, who merely stared back.
"Yahiko, don't tell me you." "Yeah, I did. More times than you'd think." Yahiko looked down, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Why?"

Trying to bend the truth
Cuz the more I push the more
I'm pulling away
Cuz I'm Lying my way from you

"Kenshin, my path is different then yours is, and it will stay that way. Our paths are parting now. I cannot walk the same road as the wanderer. I've chosen something else."

"What about the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu? Didn't that mean anything to you?" Kenshin cried.

"Yeah, for a while. But then I got a taste of the real world, Kenshin. It's a lot different you know. I think I grew up in a sheltered life. Now that the blinds have been pulled I can see where I belong now."

"You don't belong there, Yahiko! No one does." "Someone has to fulfill the part. It can't be left vacant now can it?"

"Iie, but someone like you shouldn't have to fill it. Yahiko, you know you're too good for that!"

"If Im so good then why have I already done it!" Yahiko looked at his hands. "I've already killed so many men. Kenshin, my hands are covered in enough blood for me to burn in hell forever. That's just what I've picked, as you picked being Hitokiri Battousai for half of your life."

"Iie Yahiko. You are wrong. I hated being the Battousai, that's why I gave up. Soujirro had the same problem and he saw that he chose wrong, as did Sanosuke and Megumi-dono! If everyone around you made mistakes and saw that, why are you going to go and make the same mistake!"

"Because, in my eyes this isn't a mistake." Yahiko sheathed his sword. "This is a gateway to my freedom."

"Hell is your freedom Yahiko? Is that what you really want?"

This isn't what I wanted to be,
I never thought that what I said
Would have you running from me
Like this

"Hai, this is what I want. No matter the consequences I will fulfill this destiny." Yahiko turned his back on Kenshin. His shoulders were shaking and Kenshin knew he was crying.

"Yahiko, you don't have to do this."

"Yeah...I do." He slowly started to walk away and vanish. Kenshin watched the rain pour down and wondered what to tell the others, and what on earth had possessed Yahiko do so.

Yahiko walked silently down the dirt road. Yeah, some good-bye that was. He knew he would screw it up but that didn't matter, because he would never see Kenshin again. He wouldn't see anyone again. He thanked God for that; he had to get away from this place! He had to get away from the joy, and of the happiness.

"Yahiko?" Yahiko cringed and stopped walking. This is great…he thought and turned around without a smile. "Yahiko, why are you out so late? Im sure Kaoru is worried about you."

"Naw, Tsubame. She knows." Yahiko lied and Tsubame stared at him. She could tell he was lying but she didn't want to push the matter. "Tsubame?" She looked at him and nodded her head.

"Would you hate me if I were something else.you know, not who I am now?"

"What do you mean? Yahiko, is something wrong?" Tsubame's hands started shaking.
He smiled at her, a genuine smile...and it was scaring her. "I'm leaving this place."

No turning back now
I wanna be pushed aside so let me go
No no turning back now

Tsubame saw that coming. She let out a shaky breath and looked down. "Because?"

"Because I hate it here!" Yahiko regretted saying that when he saw Tsubame wince. "I need to move on."

"That's fine; you go on your way then." Yahiko stared at her, she had put up less a fight than Kenshin. "I guess since that's what you want it doesn't matter what I say. You left against what I said once, so why would you stay this time?" Tsubame turned and began to walk away.

Yahiko stared at her, regretting leaving for a while. Should he take her with her? No…not to where he was heading. She wouldn't be able to live the life she so richly deserves.

"Aishiteru." He heard her say and he turned quickly. He wasn't going to back down. This was his choice, his life…no one was going to change that. He told Kenshin that, and he had meant it.

Let me take back my life
I'd rather be all alone
No turning back now
Anywhere on my own

Yahiko walked silently down the road again, the rain had cleared but his face was still wet. Why was he crying! He wasn't supposed to cry. He hated his tears, he hated his life, and he hated himself.

Get over it Yahiko, you hate everything...he tried to tell himself. It didn't work. He knew he loved his home. But hating it was better, hating the world made his life easier. Hate was like murder, it made life easier for you and harder for your enemy.

With that Yahiko wiped away his tears and glared ahead. He wasn't the lie he lived, he wasn't a perfect little protector. He was an assassin or so. He chose his path, and if he screwed it up then he would pay. No one needed to worry. He was ready for consequences. He was ready for anything…he just wished he had seen it sooner. He wished he hadn't lived that lie. He wished he hadn't planned this before it hurt everyone else. But did it matter? No, pain is weakness. Murder is strength. The weak live the strong die...Right?

'Cuz I can see
No, no turning back now
The very worst part of you
The very worst part of you
Is me

Yeah! That came to me in a daydream. It just 'popped' into my head when I went to bed one night…and I tried my best to remember it the next day.
The song is "Lying From You" By Linkin Park. Please Review, I'd love feedback!

-HanyouGohan (ReverberatingSilence)