Title: Taken Away

By: Katie Wendt and Wafflecat

Author's Note: Helloo. This fic was created by Katie (katie on FF.Net), and I. We wondered what would happen if us and two of our friends got stuck in the spirit world like Chihiro, and how we'd get out. We hope we entertain you with this story, and show you how the modern American would probably die in the first thirty minutes of the movie. Thank you for your time.

Disclaimer: 'Spirited Away', or 'Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi' and all related characters belong to the magical Hayao Miyazaki! Sam, Mar, Katie, and Waffle belong to... Sam, Mar, Katie, and Waffle...Because they are those people.

Rating: PG-13; for language and 'crude' humor.

Chapter I: Our Friends Got Turned Into Pigs, So We Gotta Go On A Big-ass Adventure to Save Them
Once upon a time, there were four girls: Sam, who was obsessed with Legolas from LOTR and would kill you if you attempted to steal or flirt with him...even though doing so was impossible. Waffle, the small black girl who often spent many days staring into the sun. Katie, the second-oldest person in the car who was capable of hypnotizing a person into giving her free candy. And Margo (Mar for short), the driver who didn't have her license yet, but was driving for the mere purpose of progress of the story. Two of the four girls were going to experience an adventure they'll be glad to forget, but we're going to lie and just say 'an adventure they'll never soon forget.'
Sam and Katie were sitting in the back seat, laughing about something that may or may not have included snack cakes and gophers. Waffle sat placidly in the front seat next to Mar, muttering something about, "ZATR. . . NOOOO!" and Mar attempted to block out the noise while looking professional enough at driving to avoid being pulled over. Sam suddenly remembered the bouquet of flowers on the back seat. She decided that the time was right to shred them and throw the flower-bits out the window. The unfortunate motorist in the car behind the one in which this story is taking place lost all visibility when the flowers coated his windshield. He swerved off of the road and a large explosion ensued when his car ran into a mailbox. It was very pretty.
"Was it just me, or did a car just explo--OOH, LOOK AT THAT!!"
Mar stopped the car suddenly. Before the group was a long, dusty road that entered into a dark forest, thick vegetation blocking all sunlight. Small house-like structures sat on the side of the abandoned road. Everyone in the car assumed that Smurfs had lived in the small houses previously in the past, and some sort of horrible force, such as a lawn mower, had driven them out of their homes. Waffle stuck her head out of the widow, inspecting the area to see if any police cars were lurking by.
"I don't know why," Mar said, "but I think we should go down this road. Even though we'll be risking our lives, it seems that if we don't pass through, we'll miss something important to the plot of the story. Plus, it'll be a good place to hide dead bodies, and to get away from noisy police officers." Everyone in the car thought, 'WHAT THE FUCK, NOOO!!!11!1!11AURLAFKDJASLFEone', but no one said a word.
Mar took to driving down this obscenely dangerous road at a cautious speed, being sure to take the numerous turns slowly and carefully. Sam then felt the need to cover her eyes as she drove. Mar, having lost all sense of sight, hit the brake. For whatever reason in the depths of her dark and twisted mind, Katie screamed, "FLOOR IT!!!" The shock was so great that, while Mar herself did not floor it, Waffle turned to smack Katie upside her corrupted head. As Waffle turned, she pressed the gas pedal on accident (yeah, right), and Mar took her foot off of the brake in an attempt to get Sam to 'get the fuck off of my goddamn head'. For some unknown reason, Waffle kept her foot on the gas when the car started moving again at top speed. Maybe she wanted to kill them all. We may never know.
The car drove through a swarm of bushes and trees, shaking and rocking along the way, making everyone's heads smash against every side of the car. A large, round statue stood in front of a dark entrance, the car heading straight for it. Waffle screamed, hand still on the pedal. This time, Katie gave Waffle the 5-finger slap, a slap that consisted in where the slapper clenched all four main fingers together, extended the thumb, and smacked the slappee repetitively. This had worked; Waffle let go of the gas pedal, and the car stopped, right in time to make sure the impact of hitting the statue sent everyone flying out of the windshield.
As you can imagine, this didn't make the windshield very happy. However, because nobody really cares what the windshield thinks, we'll continue on with the other characters. Now, the trees and bushes were all pretty damn pissed, and--
Oh. . . wait. . .
Sam pushed herself up. Mar began pushing herself up as well, but was abruptly shoved back to the ground by Sam. They began a short fist-fight as Waffle and Katie looked at the statue curiously. Waffle nudged it with her toe. "Bastard, just bein' all. . . in the middle of the deserted, vegetation-choked road."
Katie nodded in agreement. "I mean, who the hell leaves a big-ass statue in the middle of the road?"
The vegetation roared.
Mar finally detached herself from her sibling, and raised her hands in victory. Sam bit her ankle, and jumped behind the other side of the statue before getting a physical response from Mar. She let her eyes wander to the dark tunnel, and suddenly became interested.
"I bet there's gold in that tunnel."
We use the word 'gold' because having chicken, neck-bones, fish, pie, or even 22" chrome rims wouldn't leave the reader in much of an awe as gold. Yes, we know we're lying. Everyone walked up behind Mar, shaking their heads, all deciding that if there was gold, it wouldn't want to be messed with.
"I assure you Sam, if we were meant to go into that tunnel--" WHOOSH! A powerful wind sent the group tumbling down the tunnel, all the way down until they rolled past a soft patch of grass onto a large group of gravel and rocks.
Mar climbed up to the top of a large rock. It increased her height by a good foot, perhaps even more. She began to declare herself the Tallest In All the Land, but slipped fell before the title could be properly stated. She began to sit up, and gasped as she saw some of the oldest, crappiest-looking buildings that she'd ever known. "They look abandoned, so whoever abandoned them probably left all of their gold." This logic was probably faulty, but nobody really cared that much, and they needed a reason to go into the abandoned town so that the story could continue.
So, everyone wandered through the group of buildings, and soon found themselves in a small street filled with small, cramped shops.
Sam held out her arms to stop everyone in their tracks.
"Do you smell that?!" she demanded. Everyone held their noses up to smell what intruged their companion so much, until they saw her and Mar rush off down a separate street. Waffle and Katie blinked for a few seconds before following the two around the maze of shops until they found them staring at a ridiculously large buffet of food.
"Look at this--!"
Before anyone could say or do anything, Waffle ran in front of everyone else, and attempted to stuff the food down her shirt.
"EVERYONE! Fill your bras with everything you can. Get the goods, and let's get out of here!"
Sam paused, then laughed maniacally and began shoving massive amounts of food into her bra. After she looked to be a good deal more topheavy than any normal female should be, she shouted, "LOOKIT ME! I'M BRITNEY SPEARS!" For added effect, she put a chicken on her head. Waffle decided that, though amusing, the 'overly-siliconed popstar' look was not for her. She started to turn from the table and started pulling Katie along with her. Katie followed willingly enough. "This doesn't even look like food. Look at that thing! It's like a. . . BAG OF MUSHROOM or something. . . I guess that's food, but- hey!" She increased her speed as Waffle pulled her along faster.
Waffle walked up a flight of steps, looking around the small area suspiciously.
"Free food? Bra-stuffing? Something fishy's goin' on."
The two found themselves looking up at a large Eastern-style building, a large pipe spewing out chunks of smoke. Katie wandered onto the long bridge that led to the entrance of the building, and looked over the side.
"I see..A TRAIN! GOIN' THROUGH WATER!" Katie panicked, and began to push Waffle away from the area. "We should just get out of here while we still ca--"
"HEY!!" A boy with shoulder-length brown hair stood before the two girls menacingly.
"Aww!" Katie said, tilting her head to the side slightly. "Lookit the little girl! She's so pret-"
"I'm not a girl!"
Katie jumped. "Holy shyt, did you hear her voice?! Jesus, she sounds like-" Katie stopped when she noticed the dark glare she was receiving from the girl. Er, boy. Boy. She cleared her throat nervously and looked at Waffle, silently begging her to say something before this guy. . . girl. . . no, guy, became more violent than your average small child.
"Yeah, she's so pretty!" The boy/thing was fuming by now. Waffle placed a hand on his shoulder, and shook her head slowly. "Look, sir or ma'am, we're trying to look at stuff and get free stuff. If you try and stop us, we're going to have to go ghetto on yo ass."
The boy raised his brow at the word 'ghetto', but frowned. "You have to get out of here before they see you! I'll distract them! RUN!" He shoved them across the bridge, forcing them to fall to the ground. He leaned forward, and blew out small pieces of glass, making the two girls stare in wonder for a few seconds, then jump up from the dirt and run for their lives. The sky turned dark as if they had just spent several hours in the area when they had actually spent only a few minutes. Several slabs of meat fell out of the duo's bra, but neither bothered to go back and retrieve them.
Katie ran slightly behind Waffle as the two ran away from the peculiar glass-blowing boygirl. They came back to the shops and ran around for a while with no particular goal in mind. They just kinda liked running, I guess. However, they stopped when Katie fell backwards, having slammed her forehead into a low-hanging shop sign. She stared upward dazedly, muttering to nobody in particular. Waffle suddenly pulled her upward.
"Have you seen Mar or Sam?"
"Uh. . ."
"You saw them over there?"
"Well. . ."
"Okay, good. Let's go get 'em and get out of here."
"Uh. . ."
Waffle pulled Katie back to the area where the two sisters were before.
"Come on, Sam!"
But Sam wasn't Sam. Waffle dug into Sam's shoulders and began to pull her off the stool before hearing a loud oink.
"HOLY SHYT!"
Waffle looked back at a confused Katie. Large, black blobs were walking around the city now, slinking around like lazy bums who didn't have jobs. Sam oinked again, and attempted to gnaw Waffle's arm off.
"SAM! What's wrong with you?!"
"Waffle...they're PIGS."
Waffle blinked, and saw that this was true. Both of them had turned into two large pot-bellied pigs oinking and screaming. Katie pulled Waffle back as a large fly-swatter slapped the pigs, making them squeal.
"THIS PLACE IS MAD! MAAAD! MAAA--"
Katie slapped Waffle again. "Okay, lets get out of here!!" Waffle grabbed her stinging face for a second before hearing Katie's suggestion.
The two ran through the city streets, occasionally running through black figures and spilling more contents from their bras.