Waffle and Katie crawled out of the bushes and stood up, brushing themselves off. They looked around curiously for the stairs that would lead them to Kamaji and the glorious world of employed misery. Waffle squinted in the darkness and spotted the steps. "Hey, over there. No. No, turn around, that's a field. Okay, there." She pointed at said stairs. Katie gaped for a second at the narrow stares, then voiced her opinion on the situation.
"You've gotta be kidding. Those things couldn't hold, say, a ten-year-old named Chihiro, let alone you or me!" She shook her head slowly. "I guess that even though there's no way the old, rickety stairs could hold our weight, we should run down them really, really fast to compensate for the fact that we'll most likely die using them." She paused. "That made no sense, so it must be right."
Waffle rubbed her chin. "Good point. Let's go. "
So, the girls took their first step on the rickety stairs. Nothing happened.
"Well, looks like--"
CRASH! The step broke, and the girls jumped forward onto the next step.
"Shouldn't we be--"
As if by some mysterious command, the two ran down the stairs one by one, not having much control over their legs. The last three steps were really rotting logs protruding from the side of the building, but they jumped onto each one with amazing accuracy, and landed on the small platform beyond the last step. They suddenly stopped as soon as their feet landed on the concrete, and raised their hands in victory.
"Even though landing on this platform and stopping suddenly practically defies all laws of gravity, it's good that--" BAM! The two ran smack dab into a concrete wall a few seconds later. No one is sure WHY they had crashed into the wall when they had obviously stopped as soon as they landed on the platform, but one will assume the laws of gravity will make sure it won't be broken again.
Katie pushed herself off of the wall shakily. "I'm almost certain. . ." she paused, getting breath, ". . . that we should be dead right now." She looked at the ground, then at Waffle. "And yet, this place is nowhere near nice enough to be heaven, nor is it horrible enough to be hell. Maybe a very. . . slight form of hell or something. But then I guess it could be a slight form of heaven if you wanted to look on the pos-"
"You're done," Waffle cut her off. "You're just. . . done." She looked at the old door curiously. "So I guess we open it. Open it I guess is what we do. I am guessing that this door is to be opened and opening the door is what we should be doing. Doing what we should be open dooring."
"You have confused me in ways that I would never have thought possible. However! I think that we should open the door." Katie pushed on the old door lightly, with no results. "Aww, s'broken."
Waffle nodded. "Too bad the door won't--"
"WHO'S THAT?!"
Katie's eyes widened. A low growl could be heard behind the door, along with loud clanks and squeaks. The door flew and revealed a small boiler room covered with small, black creatures. They all had skittered across the floor to a large furnace, throwing large chunks of coal through the opening, just missing being scorched by the flying bits of rock spewing out of the machine.
"OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE KILLING THE COAL!!!"
Waffle jumped forward in a slow-mo Matrix fashion, landing on her belly. The Susuwatari all froze, staring at the writhing girl.
"DON'T KILL THE CO--"
A large gold pot dropped onto the girl's head, sending her into a peaceful state of unconsciousness.
Katie nudged Waffle with her toe, then looked up to see--
"DOOD, YOU'VE GOT SIX FUCKING ARMS!" she screamed to the man working at the grinding stone. He took no notice of her. She looked down and nudged Waffle again. "Dood, he's got six fucking arms."
Waffle blinked awake, despite the fact that unconsciousness usually lasts a lot longer than that. She looked at the six-armed man, Kamaji, and then looked back around her at the Susuwatari. "THEY'RE K-"
"THE COAL DESERVES IT! SHUT UP!" Katie flicked Waffle's forehead threateningly. You can imagine the horror. She looked back up to Kamaji. "Uh. . . six-armed. . . guy. . . we need jobs, and-- GOD, YOUR ARMS ARE SCARY!"
Waffle pushed herself up from the floor slowly, taking in a big gulp and looking at Kamaji. "Mr. Kamaji sir, we need a jo--WHOA, SIX FUCKING ARMS."
Kamaji turned his head and stared at the two girls, looking quite pissed off. "The Inn already has enough jobs, we don't any space for you!"
"We need a job."
"I SAID--"
"We need a job."
"But--"
Waffle held a foot above one of the Susuwatari. Kamaji growled. Before Katie and Waffle could state their demand, the side door of the boiler room slid open. A girl about Katie's height climbed in, holding a tray of food, handing a few bowls to Kamaji.
"I can't believe--HEY! YOU'RE THOSE TWO GIRLS EVERYONE'S LOOKING FOR!"
Katie slapped her head. "What's with the spirits and humans? I mean...YOU LOOK JUST LIKE ONE--"
"SHH!!" Waffle whispered. "Do you sense anything...odd about her?"
Katie tilted her head to the side slightly. "She's. . . familiar. . ." She tilted her head to the other side and suddenly her face lit up. "ARE YOU THE GIRL IN THOSE COMMERCIALS FOR-"
Waffle clapped her hand over Katie's mouth before another word of idiocy could be uttered. Kamaji blinked at both of them (even if they couldn't see his eyes; you just know he blinked) and cleared his throat. "This is Rin. She's real nice and you'll like her lots. Now you kids play nice." Waffle began to ask about the job again, but Kamaji turned back to his work of crushing stuff up into really tiny bits that would later be crushed into even tinier bits. Waffle frowned, then turned to Rin.
"You may look like a girl from some commercial or another, as Katie has screamed needlessly, but you look familiar. Like we know you from. . . another place. So. . . do we?"
"Do you what?"
"Know you?"
"From where?"
"That's what I'm asking."
". . ."
Rin tilted her head. "My name...HEY! KAMAJI! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME WITH THESE TWO KIDS!" The girl stomped her foot angrily.
Kamaji kept on with his crushing-ness. "They're my granddaughters. Now take them to Yu-babaa. They want jobs."
Rin frowned. Kamaji took out a long, burnt lizard and waved it in front of her face. Rin blinked for a few seconds, waiting for some sort of purpose of this lizard-waving.
"What?"
Kamaji sighed. "Damn generation today...too DAMN SMART..." Instead, he tossed the lizard away, and pulled out 20 G's.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout," Rin said, snatching the lump of money from the man, and stuffing it into the invisible pockets of her robe. "Now, take off your shoes and socks, you're not going to be needing them inside of the bathhouse. HURRY!"
The two girls just stood and blinked.
"You smokin' crack if you think I'm gonna take my shoes off in the fruity place," Waffle cried, waving her arms in effect. "I mean, just look at the color of these shoes. You couldn't get them if you had a personal genie."
Rin only stared at the shoes in thought for a few seconds, and quickly turned around.
"HAVANA!"
Rin stopped. Katie hopped in joy of remembering the girl who was, indeed, not in a commercial of any sort, or at least to her knowledge.
"Havana...that sounds so familiar," Rin said, standing still.
"HEY! You *DO* look like our friend Havana." Waffle said, nodding. Havana quickly turned around, grabbed their shirts, and pulled them through the small door she had came through.
"GET ME OUT OF THIS MADHOUSE!!!" she screamed, shaking them. Katie plucked off her fingers.
"Fine, fine, but how did you get here?"
"I...I don't remember."
"Well, just take us to this Yu-baaba character so we can ALL get out of here...including Mar and Sam."
"They're here too?!"
"Yeah, as pigs," Katie said, looking forward as if she was experiencing some kind of silent, yet mystical seizure. "Only may we face our fears could we--" The two other girls were already making their way down a long hall. Katie ran after them behind the next corner.
Katie ran down the hall after them, bumping into the two as she caught up. They were stopped in front of an elevator, or so it seemed. Waffle was looking around curiously, but turned her head to the elevator as it made a nifty little 'DING' noise. It was neat. However neat the DING was, though, all three of the girls recoiled when the door opened. Havana was the first to recover. She put a winning smile on her face.
"Oh look. . . the pumpkin spirit."
It was indeed a rather obese. . . pumpkin man. Katie and Waffle only stared. Finally, Katie started up, "I thought it was supposed to be a ra-"
"This is a whacked-out fanfic, so it's a pumpkin," Waffle cut her off.
"Ah." She nodded knowingly, not really understanding, but pretending to so that she looked smarter.
Havana grabbed Katie and Waffle by the collars of their shirts and wedged them into the small elevator. The girls were smashed against the sides, and their faces sure did look funny whoo boy. The pumpkin spirit remained oblivious to all of this, seemingly, despite the fact that his massive girth was pressing them into the elevator walls. He smelled none too pleasant. Kinda like them jack-o-laterns that are old and rotten but you don't wanna throw 'em away because you worked so damn HARD on the thing, and it feels like a waste to just--
Oh. . . right.
The girls rode the elevator with the pumpkin spirit, awaiting the next obstacle of madness that would soon greet them.