Author's Notes: I had not anticipated being back so soon. I had thought this would be just a passing craze . . . I thought I would return to writing my sci-fi war fic. I thought a brief vacation to the world of Ranma would cure me of my urge to write about the insane.

I was wrong.

Well, this is a slightly longer episode, that's for sure. But then, I don't write short fics (3000 words is the bare minimum) so I do hope you will bear with me as I expand this into a medium length series.

Again I hope that I have managed to stay true to the vision and style of the original series.

 
 
Episode 1: One Okonomiyaki To Go . . . Or Was It Dining In?

Dawn had broken over the land of the rising sun and even as the first lambent rays of light heralded the coming of a new day, the residents were slow to rise. The town had not known peace in ages.

The Cultists of the Greater Monsoon Deity were just beginning to leave, their night-long séance concluded, their spiritual hunger satisfied by the grand visions granted to them by their patron deity and their hearts contented that their holy vigil had kept Nerima safe from the chaotic forces of the world once more. It was a thankless job for which the heathens would never find themselves able to comprehend.

As the sun rose higher still, the first Citizen Paladins of the August Order of the Holiest Sunray were beginning to set up their mats on the roofs of building across the town. Donning on sunglasses and their glossy black robes, they turned to face the east, preparing for the daunting task ahead. They would absorb every last bit of the sun's precious, all-healing rays and return to their various neighborhoods in the evening, hoping to spread that sunshine, along with its 'magical' properties to their families and neighbors.

The Invid Sensor Nebula would eventually pick up these irregularities and conclude that the human race were only beginning to turn to widespread use of solar power and the Regis had made a note to make Tokyo one of its first targets should a planetary invasion ever be necessary. Of course, scholars of the Robotech Wars are wont to point out several years later that the Zentraedi had made the same conclusion when they carried out their cataclysmic bombardment of Earth many years later, having beaten the Invid to the punch. The Nerima district had been pounded into atoms by one of the most intense fusillades of reflex weaponry unleashed by Dolza's millions-strong fleet. (For readers who haven't a clue what that was all about, I'm also a Robotech/Macross fan. For those who do care about that, I know I got the dateline and the details wrong. SDF-1 should have crash-landed by now. I alone am responsible for the reprehensible attempt at combining these two series)

At the Tendo Dojo location of the recently renamed Tendo/Saotome Amalgamated School of Indiscriminate Grappling and Anything Goes Martial Arts, the true cause of Nerima's newfound peace were just beginning to rise.

Akane Tendo, the future Mrs. Saotome and Ranma Saotome, heir to the Tendo/Saotome Tendo/Saotome Amalgamated School of Indiscriminate Grappling and Anything Goes Martial Arts were making preparations for school. Kasumi was bringing in the laundry while keeping a watchful eye on the kettle that sat on the stove. Perhaps Ranma would need it this morning.

Genma and Soun, their hearts at ease with the knowledge that their legacy was secure, were sleeping in. Their countless schemes aimed at bringing their reluctant and stubborn children together had made them feel their age.

At the Kuno estate, the incredibly dense 'Blue Thunder' stood before his Shrine to Akane Tendo, the Pig-tailed Girl and Assorted Women Fitting To Be A Bride of the Kuno Heir, agonizing over who he loved more and praying for the gods to grant him the opportunity to have them all. It was a ritual he performed everyday without fail before going off to school, where he would once again challenge Saotome for the hand of Akane Tendo. With the religious revival sweeping through Nerima, Kuno was certain that his day would come soon. His daily devotions had grown longer and more passionate and he knew that the gods would smile on him soon, recognizing his the purity of his cause and desires.

Over at Ucchan's, seemingly oblivious to all this activity going on around them, two young martial artists slept . . . and overslept.

Ukyo woke with a start, the wheels in her head grinding into action as the fog in her brain vanished. A glance out the window told her immediately that she had overslept. The sky was not the usual dark blue that she normally saw when she rose to go to school. Instead, it was already light and she felt her heart drop. It was that familiar feeling that most students (who give a damn) get when they realized that they were going to be late for school.

My alarm clock . . . she thought and she sat upright. Why didn't it . . .  where . . . She didn't really have to look far. It was right in front of her. Or at least what was left of it was staring right in front of her.

Her precious alarm clock, which she had depended on to wake her every morning was clutched firmly in Ryoga's arms, crushed into tiny pieces that were hardly recognizable if not for a fragment of the clock face and the minute hand still attached to it.

Ryoga was still in Ukyo's forgivable zone at that point in time. But then he smiled in his sleep and sighed Akane's name, clutching the already brutalized clock even closer to his chest. She heard the casing crack into even more pieces, and had Ryoga been awake, he would certainly have the heard the snap, crackle and pop coming from Ukyo.

Apparently, he did seem to notice the sound and he came to sleepily. "Wha . . . someone making popcorn . . ."

Wham!

The mega spatula came right down on Ryoga's face and Ukyo was sure to drive it as far down as she could, trying to smear his facial features flat. "Oh, just go back to sleep, you jackass!"

Ukyo felt the urge to pound him even harder, but she remembered about school, forced herself to relax and ran off to the bathroom to get ready. With the door shut behind her, she finally allowed herself one frustrated scream. Just one. And she picked up a toothbrush, applied some toothpaste and began brushing her teeth, forcing her mind to think happy thoughts. Was it really worth it having stay the night after all, she wondered.

Well, he was company. Even though he hadn't really said anything, his presence the night before had been . . . reassuring and almost comforting in a way. Of course, he still possessed the knack of annoying her. And that moron still loves Akane!

What about you, Ukyo? Don't you still love Ranma? Who are you calling a moron . . . Ukyo sighed bitterly. She had thought she was over him. But seeing Ryoga still clinging on to the hope (and her alarm clock as well) that he would get Akane had stirred something deep inside her. She wasn't sure why she felt so angry. It wasn't as if Ryoga meant anything to her. But why then was she almost sure that she felt a twinge of jealousy when Ryoga whispered Akane's name?

Was it because Akane already had Ranma and Ryoga should be free for others? Or was it because Ryoga had the persistence that Ukyo did not have? She finished brushing her teeth, gargled angrily and spat into the sink. Then she turned to retrieve her dark blue jacket and trousers. She had long given up wearing a dress to school Especially since Ranma could never be hers and that idiot Kuno was still about.

 She was just about to disrobe when the door slid open and that familiar bandanna-wearing boy looked stared at her. His face bore the mark where her spatula had struck, but other than that, he looked pretty ok.

"Um . . . guess I managed to find the bathroom after all." Ryoga said lamely, caught a slight (very, very, very, very slight) glimpse of Ukyo's cleavage and felt a nosebleed coming on.

Ukyo preempted that by tossing a basin into the boy's face and the sprout of blood spurting upwards and away. "RYOGA! Do you mind!?" Ukyo slammed the door shut and bolted it this time. "Oh, the nerve . . .!" Guess it's been awhile since I've shared this place with anyone.

She changed as quickly as she could, and for a while, she wondered if she would forego the chest bindings today. She would have decided against it since she was wearing her guy outfit for school, but she was late and she figured she didn't have the time. She fastened her trademark white ribbon bow behind her head and finally stepped out of the bathroom and found Ryoga lying where he had fallen.

She knelt down and grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him up, shaking him. "Wakey, wakey, you dummy!"

"Ugh . . . U . . . Ukyo?" He cracked open and eyelid. "You're dressed . . .?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Wham! Her spatula smashed into the side of his head and he blacked out again.

Oh, crud . . . Ukyo rolled her eyes and shook him again. This time he remained out cold. "Come on!" She began to slap him, faster and faster.

"Will you cut that out?" He said, finally waking up, his cheek already red from the dozens of slaps.

"Now, you listen here, sugar . . ."

"I'm not your sugar . . ."

"Oh, puh-lease . . ." Ukyo resisted the urge to bash his face in. "I'm off to school. You stay here. Don't go anywhere! I expect to find you here when I return, you got that!"

"Yes, ma'am." Ryoga said dully.

"I want you to look after the restaurant while I'm gone. Don't . . . touch . . . anything."

"Yes, ma'am. Will there be anything else, ma'am?"

Oh for the love of . . . Ukyo clenched her fists but didn't strike. Instead she let it all out in one small sigh. Ryoga had already braced himself for the firestorm that did not come. Instead, he saw Ukyo returning her mega spatula to its storage position across her back as she stood.

"I'm off now." And she left him in the corridor outside the washroom. She had not disappeared round the corner for less than five seconds when she popped her head back. "Remember, don't go anywhere!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you . . . old sourpuss." He muttered to himself.

"I heard that!" Ukyo shouted over her shoulder as she bolted out of the house. There was still time to get to Furinkan High before the Principal started catching the latecomers. Given that insanity ran in the family line and that Principal Kuno had spawned the twisted and perverted Tatewaki Kuno, Ukyo had no interest in finding out what bizarre punishment the Principal had in store for latecomers today. And there was that geometry test . . .

Ukyo was gone. Ryoga stretched his stiff neck, feeling those vertebrae crack and pop. Ukyo had always been kinda . . . well, cute. Ranma's words! Not mine! Feh . . . well, Ranma should have made Ukyo his bride instead. There was another pop and this time the pain was more acute. Ok, so she's a cute girl with some spunk.

Pop. And some strength.

Crack. And one hell of a spatula.

Maybe he would do with a trip to that chiropractor friend of Akane's . . . Dr. Tofu wasn't it? Nah, I'd probably get lost . . . like I did trying to find the bathroom. He had ended up in Ukyo's personal wardrobe but he hadn't quite noticed it since most of the clothes looked like they were for guys. Then he had stumbled across the blue dress with the gigantic red bow she had worn to impress Ranma so long ago. That had sent him clawing desperately out of the closet and consequently he had made quite a mess. It was fortunate that Ukyo had been a hurry to leave.

He had wanted to go the bathroom to wash up. He recalled being awake earlier, but something must have fell on him since the next time he woke, his face was aching all over. He vaguely remembered . . . popcorn. Yes, that must be it. A popcorn machine must have landed on him, crushing him. That would explained the squashed remnants of some mechanical device that he found on his chest. Ukyo must have removed and disposed of the machine, while allowing him to recover naturally. So that's why she was late for school. I guess I should apologize.

Why Ryoga never wondered how a popcorn machine could simply fall from the heavens and land on him is not known. But one could deduce that he was too used to fate playing such cruel tricks on him to care about that. He went into the bathroom, washed splashed some water on his hurting face and looked at the mirror.

He saw a loser.

Forgive me, Akane . . . for not confessing my love to you when I had the chance. I wish you all the best with Ranma. In his mind he saw Akane, framed by a ring of flowers topped with bells. She was such an angelic sight. Then Ranma was next to her, laughing at him. Ryoga felt that familiar rage rising within him. It wasn't fair . . . Then the apparition was beginning to talk. Ryoga could not hear the words, but Ranma and Akane were arguing as they always did. So why did Akane choose Ranma still? It wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair!

"Curse you, Ranma!" Ryoga pounded his fist into the bathroom wall and he realized what he had done only when it was too late.

Cracks began to appear in the wall, spreading out from where his fist had burrowed through the tiles. He heard the sickening crackling sound, as the fissures got longer and wider. Then he saw his image in the mirror distort as it broke into a million pieces. A split-second after that, rest of the tiles exploded at him and wall came crumbling down. And the water main blew.

            Oh, shit . . . He felt himself transforming even as the great waterspout blasted him backwards. It was fortunate for Ukyo (financially-speaking) that she had installed a water usage limiter (one of those funky new Japanese products) that would automatically cut the water supply once usage exceeded a certain amount. That was to help her save money since in her business, every cent counted. The only way to get the water running again was by manual override and that was of course only after Ukyo realized that she had exceeded her monthly water usage.

            It was fortunate that it was near the end of the month. The jet of water was short-lived, but it was sustained enough to propel a tiny pig into the overhead light. The bulb blew and P-chan shook as the jolt of electricity course through its body. And then the pig fell onto the floor, amidst the mess of tile and glass fragments, unconscious.

            The test had not gone well for Ukyo. She didn't feel confident of a pass this time round. Even as the final bell of the day rang, she was already hurrying out of the classroom, headed towards the main gate.

            She heard that familiar voice, once the sweetest sound in her life. Ranchan . . . he sounded like he was arguing. Then he heard that scolding voice that Furinkan High had come to know so well. Akane Tendo.

            The couple came round the corner before Ukyo could find a way to avoid them. Akane saw her first and she stopped arguing. Ranma saw her next and Ukyo felt her heart stop. This was the man who had been her darling all her life. (Well, most of her teenage life at least) This was the man she had been betrothed to, destined to marry . . . Her heart suddenly felt like glass.

            "U-Ucchan . . . Haven't seen you in awhile." Ranma said as if nothing had happened.

            Ukyo did not answered. Instead, she fought to keep her tears welled up inside. Akane seemed to notice and she reached out to take Ukyo's arm. "Ukyo, you haven't been looking well for quite some time. Are you ok?"

            "I'm fine." Ukyo replied automatically.

            "Say, Ucchan . . . what say Akane and I come over for some okonomiyaki later?" Ranma suggested. "It's been awhile and with Akane's cooking still as bad as . . ."

            "S-so . . . my cooking is bad, eh . . ." Ukyo felt a wave of heat rising from Akane. "Ranma, you jerk!"

            From the outside, a casual observer would have thought they saw a bulge appearing in the school's roof. They were right. The bulge swelled, then burst open and a boy in a red Chinese shirt went spinning into low orbit.

            "Oh, there are just times . . ." Akane let out an exasperated breath and looked over at Ukyo.

            "Akane, do you really love Ranchan?"

            Akane's eyes widened at the question. She frowned internally. Was there any ulterior motive here? But of all of Ranma's other suitors, Ukyo was the most scrupulous. And Akane had got along with her best.

            "Yes, Ukyo. I do. It's just that sometimes . . .well . . ." Akane saw the wave of sadness passing over Ukyo's face and she reached out to touch the okonomiyaki chef's shoulder. "Ukyo . . . I'm sorry if Ranma and I have hurt you in . . ."

            "No, no, Akane. I am very happy for you two. Honest."

            "Ukyo, you're such a pretty girl. I'm sure there will be someone . . ."

            "Well, Akane, gotta run." Ukyo said uncomfortably. Her heart was coming apart.

            "Wait, Ukyo. Can we drop by late . . ."

            "Um . . ." Ukyo paused awkwardly. "Maybe not today. Um, I've got some stuff to settle. Sorry about that. Maybe another day?"

            "Ok, I'll tell Ranma . . ." Akane nodded. "As soon as he comes back to earth."

            Ukyo did not reply, instead, she headed out as fast as she could, spatula-smashing and trampling over a flower-bearing Kuno as she did so. Once she was out the gate, her tears began to flow. But she told herself to harden up.

            She would arrive at her restaurant and she wouldn't want Ryoga to see her like this. Knowing him, he'd probably try to kill Ranma again if he saw her crying because of him.

            And then she realized that the enormity of the situation. She had left Ryoga at Ucchan's . . . alone. What if he wanted to use the bathroom? Or the kitchen? She increased her pace and hoped that she would be able to find him still where she had left him. Ryoga, you had better have listened to me just this once.

            She reached her restaurant and noted that the door was still locked. Good. All the four walls were intact and none of the windows were open, normally or otherwise. Better still.  Satisfied that no new holes had been opened up in her restaurant, she was quite confident she would find Ryoga still inside . . . though it might take awhile . . .

            The sliding door to her restaurant came open and she stepped in, shutting the door behind her. The first floor was just as she had left it, her grill silent and empty for now. Well, it wouldn't stay that way too long. She made her way up the darkened stairway, calling for Ryoga as she went.

            There was no reply. Maybe he was sleeping. Or maybe he was just lost somewhere. Ought to get changed into something more comfortable first, she thought as she headed to her room.

            She wasn't quite prepared for the mess that greeted her. Her wardrobe was wide open, her clothes strewn everywhere as if Happosai had just ransacked it. It didn't make sense. What did she have that the old pervert would want? Or could it be Ryoga? She shuddered and gripped the handle of her mega spatula a little tighter. How much did she really know him anyway . . . after all, he did sleep with Akane as P-chan didn't he?

            She glanced at the two futons still laid out in the center of the room, a small pile of alarm clock fragments still sat neatly on one of them.

            There was a noise behind her and she whirled to face it, her spatula drawn and ready. Her eyes scanned the room, searching for the source of the noise. Then she heard it again, a slight scuffling sound that came from the corridor outside.

            With her weapon still grasped firmly in her hands, Ukyo stepped out into the corridor, ready to strike. Well, the best way to meet a threat sometimes was to confront it head on. Certain that the sound was directly outside her room, she leapt out into the corridor, poised to attack.

            "Bweee!?"

            "P-chan . . ." Ukyo lowered the spatula at the sight of the tiny pig. "Now how did you end up like this again?"

            The pig stared wide-eyed at her and she shrugged. "Not going to get any answers out of you this way, am I?" Ukyo picked up the pig and went into her room, picking up two sets of clothes. One was her blue okonomiyaki chef's outfit while the other was a male's outfit. "See, I'm wising up. I'll prep some hot water, leave this set of clothes somewhere and toss you in."

            For some reason, the pig's eyes grew so large, they seem ready to burst and it tried to struggle free.

            "Oh, not again, Ryoga . . . I'm not going to see you naked! And besides, you've got some explaining to do." She jerked a thumb at her ravaged wardrobe. "Oh, my tub's down isn't it? Never mind, I guess we could use the sink." She grinned evilly at the pig as it continued to struggle.

            She didn't understand it. What was going on? Why did Ryoga resist. And why was there this great lump on his head? Oh, well, all would be answered once he was returned to human form. All we need is a bit of hot . . .

            She came into the bathroom. She saw. She went ballistic.

            "RYOGA!" She screamed at the pig, staring at the wreckage that had been her bathroom. Little cute piggy or not, Ukyo tossed P-chan into the air and caught him as he was falling to the ground, her great spatula smashing him into a nearby wall.

            Ukyo struggled for control. This . . . boy . . . was a walking disaster area! She picked up the unconscious pig, filled the sink with hot water and dumped him in, turning away.

            "Wah! That's hot!" She heard him say.

            Without turning to look, her spatula swung once more and she heard it making contact with his skull. "Stay right there, you jackass. I'll be right back."

            It's not going to work . . . it's not going to work . . . Ukyo told herself angrily as she changed in her chef's outfit and stormed back to her bathroom. She had screamed the first time and she screamed again. The place looked like a war zone. How much would the repairs cost?

            Ryoga was standing there, looking glumly at the floor, playing with his fingers, afraid to look Ukyo in the eye.

            "Okay, Hibiki . . . are you going to tell me what happened here or am I going to have to use force?"

            "Ehehehe . . .  well you see . . .  uh . . . I  . . . well, it's like this . . ."

            "Ryoga! Will you stop that?!" Ukyo shrieked, almost ready to pull out her hair in clumps. Ryoga had mechanically started poking fresh holes in the wall. She glared at the holes and noticed that it was the beginnings of the word 'Sorry'.

            "Ah, what the hell . . ." Ukyo said in a resigned tone. "Are you hungry?"

            Ryoga nodded meekly.

            "Well, let's get you something to eat. On the house since you owe me big for this."

            Ryoga didn't protest and Ukyo stepped out of the bathroom. A second later she was back. "This way, you oaf." She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down to the restaurant below.

            She got the grill started and took out some of her ingredients and she began working on a plain okonomiyaki. She watched the flat pizza take shape, sizzling on the grill and noted how Ryoga stared at it greedily. She allowed herself a hidden smile, enjoying the fact that she was tempting him.

            "So what will it be?"

            "What? Well, I would like to say I'm sorry . . ."

            "I asked what kind of okonomiyaki would you like, you jackass."

            "Um, squid, I guess. Definitely nothing to do with pork." Ryoga replied awkwardly. "You should know why now, I guess. I mean . . . Ukyo?"

            A single tear landed on the hot grill, and it hissed into vapor almost immediately. Ryoga realized that Ukyo was trying hard to stop sobbing.

            "U-Ukyo . . ."

            "I'm sorry. Don't mind me, sugar . . ." Ukyo shook her head, blinking the tears out of her eyes. "It's just that squid was one of Ranchan's favorites . . ."

            "Ukyo . . . I'm sorry . . . maybe something else . . ."

            "No." She said firmly, that old stubborn strength of hers flowing back, as if she had only been temporarily indisposed. "If squid is what you want, sweetie, squid is what you'll get."

            Ryoga watched with fascination as Ukyo's hands moved rapidly and deftly over the grill. It was a wonder to see her work. It was almost impossible to see her moves as her hands, wielding her normal-sized spatulas danced over the sizzling circle of dough and other ingredients.

            "Here you go, one squid okonomiyaki!" Ukyo put on the very best smile that she could though her eyes were still wet.

            "Uh . . ." Ryoga stared down at the Japanese pizza.

            "Hmm?" Ukyo looked down and she saw that she had used the sauce to draw a large heart on the pizza. Her featured flushed. "Uh, sorry . . . force of habit . . . I'm still trying to get over it."

            "I know how you feel, Ukyo." Ryoga sighed as he took a pair of wooden chopsticks and took his first stab at the food.

            "If you want, I could make anot . . ."

            "It's ok, Ukyo. Really." Ryoga said, shaking his head. He put a piece of Ukyo's handiwork into his mouth and savored the taste. "Delicious. Here, why don't we share this?" He offered her a pair of chopsticks and she accepted graciously.

            They ate in silence, the shape of the heart vanishing as they worked through the okonomiyaki together. It seemed strange . . . ironic even, that she was sharing the okonomiyaki that she normally made for Ranma with Ryoga.

            "Ryoga . . ."

            "Uh . . . yeah?"

            Not now, girl. Don't use him as a rebound. He's just as hurt as you are. "Nothing, sugar. Eat up."

            "This is a really good okonomiyaki. Thanks Ukyo. You're the best."

            "You mean it?"

            "Eheheh." Ryoga scratched the back of his head nervously, averting her eyes.

            "I see . . ." Realization dawned on Ukyo. "If you think that's going to help me forget about the wardrobe and the bathroom, you're dead wrong, mister. Let me tell you, flattery will get you nowhere."

            "Well, it was worth a try." Ryoga said as he finished the last of the food. "Look Ukyo, thanks for your hospitality and I'm really, really sorry about your wardrobe and bathroom. I swear I'll make it up to you. But right now, I would really like to get going again."

            "You mean you want to go wandering again?" Ukyo frowned. "It's Ranma and Akane, isn't it? You want to go wandering into the countryside just to get away for awhile, right?"

            Ukyo felt the urge to say 'Take me with you'. But then Ryoga was laughing nervously. "Actually, no. I was trying to find my way home. I thought it'd be good to spend sometime with my dog."

            Ukyo struggled to keep a straight face. Ryoga had lost the love of his life just as she had and all he could think of was going home to his dog? Poor Ryoga, going off the deep end.

            "But don't worry, I've got money at home. I'll get it to help pay for the repairs. I promise." Ryoga said, catching the look on Ukyo's face. "I'll rush back as soon as I get the money."

            Which would be a week's time if I'm lucky, Ukyo thought. Well, who am I to stop him? It's best he be on his way then.

            "Hey, Ryoga, since you'd be leaving soon, why don't you take some food with you?" Ukyo offered.

            "Well, I'll have one okonomiyaki to go then. Make it beef this time."

            "Just one?"

            "I live in the next town. Even with my sense of direction, it can't be more than a day's hike from here."

            "Ok . . ." Ukyo shrugged. "One beef okonomiyaki coming right up."

            The process took all of two minutes and Ukyo put the steaming hot pizza into a takeout box. She was about to close it when she stopped suddenly and dipped her tiny brush into her saucepot. "Almost forgot."

            With a few deft movements, she drew half a heart and wrote the word 'Friends' on it. She shot him an inquiring look and he nodded. "Friends."

            Then with the remaining space on the pizza, she wrote out an IOU with an estimate of how much it would cost to fix her bathroom. That done, she smiled sweetly at him and handed him the takeout box.

            "See you, Ryoga."

            "Ok, ok. I get the hint. I'll be back as soon as I can! You have my word of honor!" He rose abruptly and jumped over the grill. "Homeward bound then!"

            "Uh, Ryoga?"

            "What?"

            "The exit it that way." Ukyo said blandly.

            Ryoga did a full 180 and regarded her with a frown. "I knew that!"

            And he was off, leaving Ukyo alone in her restaurant. She had already place a sign outside stating that she was closed for renovation works so there wouldn't be anyone else coming today.

            She saw a piece of black and yellow cloth on the floor. A bandanna. He must have dropped this. Ukyo picked it up, running her hand over the smooth cloth. No, she told herself firmly. After Ranma had dumped her a second time, she would stay true to her promise. She would not love another man. But then . . . there's something about that jackass isn't there?

Six hours later . . .

            The sun had long set over Nerima and Ukyo was outside her restaurant, sweeping away dead leaves that had gathered at her entrance. She had been humming to herself until she saw the passage of a grand host of worshippers of some sort, bearing the icons and artifacts of their faith.

            Nerima had gotten weirder since Akane and Ranma got together, she frowned as the stream of elaborately clad people continued to tramp past her. She was almost done with the sweeping when she saw a familiar shape at the rear of the column of religious whackos.

            That pack, that umbrella.

            "Ryoga!" Ukyo called out excitedly. She had almost begun to miss him. "I mean, what are doing back so soon, Ryoga. I'm almost impressed."

            The Lost Boy walked up to her and stared at her in wide-eyed disbelief. "Ukyo? What are you doing here?"

            "What do you mean 'what am I doing here'? You hit your head on something?" Ukyo couldn't help yelling at him. God, how dumb can he get?

            "You mean I'm still in Nerima?"

            "You mean you haven't gone home yet?"

            "Wait . . . Is that really you, Ukyo? Or am I just imagining things?"

            He had asked for it. The spatula came down on his head and sent him sprawling to the ground. He groaned and struggled to get up. "The sting of the spatula . . . it has to be Ukyo, alright."

            "You jackass! You can't even get to the next town?"

            "Hey, it's not that easy! Tokyo is a big city, ok?"

            "Riiiiiiiiiight . . ." Ukyo cocked a brow at him, arms folded across her chest.

            The distant rumble of thunder sounded before Ryoga could reply and the Lost Boy gripped his umbrella a little more tightly, looking warily at the sky. Up on the roof of Ucchan's Okonomiyaki, a dozen Cultists of the Greater Monsoon Deity had already taken up places and were raising their hands in exaltation of their deity, palms open to receive the great blessings that would soon pour forth.

            "Damn it, go find another house, you whackos!" Ukyo reached for the bandolier strung across her body and sent a spread of spatulas slashing towards them. Clothing ripped as the razor sharp spatulas found their marks, disrobing several of the cultists with cold efficiency. 

            Their meditations interrupted, the cultists scattered, headed for safer havens from which they would continue their fervent worship.

            "Look, I'll be going now . . ." Ryoga did not get far. Ukyo had snagged one of the straps on his backpack and he tumbled clumsily, landing on the pavement with a thud. "What the hell was that for?"

            She pointed at the unopened okonomiyaki takeout box that Ryoga had strapped atop his backpack and shook her head. "It's cold now. I guess you'll be dining in after all."

            "But . . ."

            "No 'buts', you directionless jackass. You're staying over again." Ukyo held fast to his backpack. Then added under her breath. "I hope I won't regret this."

            "But I gotta get h . . ."

            "Try again tomorrow." Ukyo said stubbornly. "Get in before it starts raining, pig-boy."

            "Hey, watch who you're calling pig-boy." Ryoga got up. But he wasn't straining to get away from Ukyo. He was already taking the first, reluctant steps towards the inviting shelter of the restaurant.

            "Yeah, yeah. Come on in, Ryoga, before it rains. I don't have a hot tub for you tonight."

            "Stop reminding me . . ." he gloomed.

            "Alright." She giggled. It was a delightful sound. "One more beef okonomiyaki coming up."

            "I'll be dining in this time, chef." Ryoga smiled back.

Endnotes: So there you have it another episode. Hopefully I am still pleasing readers out there. Given my previous writing experience this definitely not as easy as I thought. So much for writing this when my mind goes on vacation. I still don't think I'm quite into this 'warm and fuzzy-feeling' kind of thing yet.

And yes, again I will leave you with the promise that I will update this in 3-4 weeks though I get the feeling that it will be sooner than that. Ah, well, cheers and till the next episode.