-----Angels Dancing On Her Eyelids
---------Written by Rainbow Dreamer
-----Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs solely to Clamp. I hold no claims on this fanfiction in any way. The plot, however, is mine and I would like it to remain that way. In other words, no plagiarism you evil little men out there! Hehe.
----- AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah! SORRY for the late, late update and the huge shock I gave most of you people, giving you the illusion that Sakura's dead. Oh dear. I didn't think it sounded like that until I read the reviews and went back to read the chapter! Gomen! Anyhow, this should be the last chapter, a lot of explaining and Syaoran's point of view. This chapter is mainly his story. I might make a short epilogue by itself if this chapter gets to long, but other than that, there should be an epilogue after the end of this chapter.
I want to appreciate you guys for reading this fic! I want to say this first off. THANK YOU! I mean it. Without everyone's reviews and great encouragement, this story would not have been written quite so vividly and well. To this, I thank you all!
And, I've changed my alias from Rainbow Dreamer to Iris Dreamer since I didn't want to be Rainbow Dreamer1! Hehe!
Oh! Did I tell you guys how happy I was when I received a grand 50 reviews for the last chapter?! Enough said. Happy reading!
Rainbow Dreamer.
----- SPECIAL THANKS: Karisa Temura: I should be the one thanking you! Big thanks!
Gohansfan: I loved reading your review! I read at least five times and it still makes me laugh. I'm not laughing at you, rather I admire your imagination. My favorite of all was the one about the cranky granny. Sorry if I freaked you out about Sakura. Heh. Hm. Ooh, a college down in the south? Argh. I'm having a huge headache searching for the so-called "perfect" school. Anyhow, happy reading! Oh, and it's Takuro, not Toguro or Tokuro. Heh.
Nichirin: Thank you. This chapter's much happier than the last one.
Safaia Hiryuu: Thank you! Now are you Safaia Hiryuu or Hoshi hanazakari? Hehe.
Mini Sweety: I never really intended to make Lei Long a really bad guy. Hm. And about contacts. Well, I might be getting them next year, after my senior year before college, but other than that, I'm spared from opening my eyes wide and sticking some invisible thing inside. Hehe.
Sailor Jamie: Thanks for loving the story, and the last part about Sakura dying won't be so crazy if you read on!
Kawaii Cherry Wolf: Don't panic. Everything shall go wonderful in this chapter, or so I hope. I want to say a special thanks to you especially for sticking up with me since my first fic. Thanks girl!
Illusioner 1412: Hm, bad or good ending? Well, it depends for your point of view. But if you've read my other fics, you'll know I'm a sucker for sweet endings.
Cherri Ookami: Hehe. I'm just glad the theory was right. ChibiSakuraSyaoran is your sister? Interesting. Anyhow, thanks and happy reading new ruler of the world!
Smilez: Thanks! And double thanks for reading my one-fic as well.
Azi: Glad you're no longer confused and if you are, some questions will be answered here. Thanks for reviewing.
Sakura Lova: To invoke such emotions from my readers make me feel wonderful. At least my stuff is appreciated! Anyhow, thanks for reading. I hope this chapter won't make you cry though!
Chibi Neko-Chan2: Hehe, you're a number too! I didn't want to be a number so I changed my pen name to Iris dreamer instead of rainbow dreamer. Heh. Happy reading!
Cheler: Indeed, some things are yet known. You can figure them out in this chapter.
Heart of Night: Sorry for such a late update!
Lil Dudette: Again, I apologize for the late update. This chapter's super long for all you guys!
Cherry Princess Sakura: This chapter's full of Syaoran's point of view and his thoughts. Cheer for joy, all those Syaoran fans, although he may be a little bit out of character. Anyhow, thanks for reading. I added a small flower meaning in this one, not really important however.
Inkblots: Many thanks for your compliments! Happy reading!
Anime Obsession Fantasy: Don't panic. Everything will be unraveled here.
To the person who left their name blank: Thank you!
Time Warp: Thanks!
Dar Assassin 250: Thanks! And Duke? That's school is like one of the best in the US! You must be some great genius!
Lauren: Many thanks girl. I hope that you will enjoy this chapter immensely.
Lil Cherry Blossom Angel: Thank you.
Mesmer: Your welcome for the chapter update email. Yes, I'll be doing it again. But then again, you probably have received it if you're reading this. Hehe. Happy reading!
Phoenix Angel Guardian: Yes, Syaoran Xiao Lang Li was actually Takuro Li in Mikomi Sono. And Eriol was Xiao Lang Hiiragizawa.
Moshi Moshi Queen: Yep, Syaoran has his reasons for leaving, which will be explained from his part of view here. Enjoy!
Altaria Star: Thank you for reading this even though you're a great sailor moon fan! Thank you! I don't know much about sailor moon to tell you the truth. But you must be some great writer. Happy reading!
Tiarella Cordifolia: Hehe, am I forgiven now that I've updated? Sorry about the late update however.
Eclipse: Sakura's been having doubts whether Syaoran was the one or not. But when she realized that Lei wasn't the one, her doubts increased. His hand that held hers, that warm feeling, made her realize that he was the one who held her hand and encouraged her to undergo the operation. Sorry if it wasn't really well explained.
Chibi Sakura Syaoran: Finally I meet the sister of Cherri Ookami! And your theory must be deadly accurate! Anyhow, happy reading and many thanks.
Angelz of Death: Thanks!
Scarlet Rose5: Glad you came back, after being kicked off the net, to read this! Many, many thanks!
Rosalind: Thanks for reading this fic, as well as my one shot, and even my first fic, "Do You Remember Me? I Remember You" which is not really written well. Hehe. It's amazing how much I've improved since then!
Hana Tenshi Himeko: No, I don't think there'll be a sequel to this story. However, I have an action/romance story that is also CCS. But that won't be coming up anytime soon (I think) since I'm entering my senior year and I have lots of stuff to do including SATs, college searching, college essays, and tons of college applications! But, we'll see.
AkuOokami: Don't worry. Is Sakura dead or did she accidentally glue her eyelids together will be revealed just a bit later.
Mistress Tate: LoL, hey! I'm a hopeless romantic as well! What we have in common!
Daz: Hey Daz! I'm psyched that you're still sticking up with me and reading this. And, yes, Steven's party was a total blast! Hehe.
Moonbae: Why the two had to change their names while they worked in the shop will be found out in the next chapter (the epilogue).
Midnight Moon2: Thanks!
Angel Sari Neko Jeminie Indigo: Thank you! I hope you will find time to finish this story.
Dancer5: Girl, thank you. You totally show how much you love my story! Thanks!
Leena-Chan: Heheh! I'm glad you're finishing my story. And Mr. Mase, Mrs. Sword, and lil Nunchuku who are probably there reading this with you. Many thanks!
Chessi: Thank you!
Enchantress Azure: Hey! I've changed my alias as well. I didn't want to be no Rainbow Dreamer1, so I changed it to Iris Dreamer, in which iris means rainbow, so I thought it would be appropriate.
XX Angelic Petal xX: Thank you for putting me on your favorites! Happy reading!
Ash Night5: How I hate numbers too! Thank you for complimenting my twist that Li is Takuro. Many thanks!
Devils Sanctuary: I'm glad you caught all those small clues I left behind. I was hoping someone would find them. Also, thank you for reviewing my one fic as well! Arigato and enjoy this chapter!
ALSO, MANY THANKS TO THOSE WHO HAVE READ THIS WHO HAVE NOT REVIEWED OR I HAVE MISSED OUT ON! THANKS! YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST!
Rainbow Dreamer, or should I say Iris Dreamer?
----- CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
-----"Give all to love; obey thy heart."
-----Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
"Sakura!" Tomoyo quickly shifted her best friend into a lying position. Her rosy cheeks now held a hue of sickening paleness. "Sakura," Tomoyo whispered into her ear, "You have to trust him." But the girl showed no indication that she had heard.
"Sakura?" Meiling panicked, as she watched Sakura lie on the bed with ashy whiteness. She hated Syaoran for not being here. She hated Tao for not loving Syaoran. She hated Sakura for not being stronger.
But those were just excuses. She didn't hate anyone, except for herself.
Tomoyo sighed, closing her eyes for a long time before opening them again. She had hoped everything was just a dream, but it wasn't. She reached over and smoothed Sakura's hair lovingly.
"Meiling, stop blaming yourself. You know clearly, more than anyone else, that no one is to blame for this." Tomoyo said quietly as she stood up. "Call the hospital while I pack a few things so we can stay by her."
The Chinese girl stopped her ranting that she was doing under her breath, and stared at Tomoyo who was looking seriously at her. Meiling sighed and buckled to the floor when her knees weakened. "Why do I feel like I'm losing everything at once? First Syaoran, and now Sakura."
"Baka!" She scolded in a harsh, fierce voice that made Meiling look up surprised. Tomoyo never yelled. "Sakura's not dead, and neither is Li-kun." She reprimanded. "Now, help me call the hospital."
Meiling looked into those worried, yet calm amethyst eyes. She could tell that Tomoyo was equally worried, but she wasn't letting her emotions overcome herself. "Tomoyo, has anyone told you what a great mother you would become?"
"Are you suggesting that I should get married?" Her friend called back from another room as she began to pack the bags.
"Maybe, Tomoyo, maybe." Meiling replied as she picked up the phone to call. "And I'm hoping it'd be someone I know," She hinted.
"Have you called yet?" Tomoyo demanded.
"Calling!" Meiling shouted. As she waited to be hooked to the hospital line, she smiled. Tomoyo had that effect on people. She never saw Tomoyo lose her temper and could be counted to stay calm in dire situations.
Within ten minutes, Sakura, Meiling, and Tomoyo were in the ambulance that had arrived. The Kinomoto family was meeting them at the hospital and would arrive roughly at the same time. On the way, Meiling had called Eriol and he promised he would track their cousin down to tell him the news.
They could only hope for the best now.
-----
"Thank Kami Sakura's all right." Tomoyo sighed, breathing a deep breath when Dr. Waleigh explained that Sakura was just too tired and seemed a bit unstable. "Seems like she's in a shock," was what he had told them, somewhat confused.
Touya nodded, but the way he stood stiffly told Tomoyo he had something else in mind than just his little kaijuu. Dr. Waleigh and Sakura's nurse sensed something wrong and quickly excused themselves. Once the door clicked shut, Touya rounded his fierce eyes upon Meiling.
"Who did this to her?" he demanded.
"Touya! It's not Meiling's fault, so don't pile it all upon her." Tomoyo intervened to protect her friend. She knew Touya hounded on her because Meiling wasn't exactly family.
"Touya, you're behavior is inexcusable." Nadeshiko agreed. "Apologize to Meiling. She's just as concerned about Sakura as we all are."
The older brother looked over at his mother then at Sakura who was sleeping quietly on her bed. Then his eyes fell upon Meiling's who were looking up into his with bright defiance. If it weren't for the situation, he would have admired her bravery.
"Gomenasai." Touya told her. "My temper gets the best out of me when it concerns my kaijuu."
Meiling eyed him critically. "Whatever." She told him, giving him a small grin. She paused, looking at Sakura, before talking once again. "Perhaps we should go out to talk."
Tomoyo gave Meiling a reassuring smile. "Aunt Nadeshiko," Tomoyo started. "Do you know why Sakura suddenly wanted to see again? All of us had tried so hard to show Sakura that she was to carry the light, but she wanted to stay in the darkness."
The family looked at each other. "Remember on Sakura's birthday and she and I were separated for a while because of the crowd? While she was gone, she met a guy who gave her the courage and hope to take the operation."
"Sakura has been wanting to thank that guy because he gave her sight once more. When she enrolled in Tomoeda High, she found him." Tomoyo continued.
"His name, as you might all recognize, is Lei Long." Meiling finished briskly. "I don't want to say much about this, since it should be coming from Sakura. It's personal." She growled. "This afternoon, supposedly Sakura went for a walk by herself in the park. And then my cousin, Syaoran Li,"
When Touya grunted, Meiling turned to him. "Yes, the gaki. But the gaki just saved your little kaijuu's life." She told him with a glare.
"According to him, Sakura was on the street and was almost crashed by a car. My cousin managed to save her before the accident could happen. Apparently she was shocked from seeing this Long guy with another girl." Meiling crossed her arms. "That's more or less the story."
Silence floated between the space that divided the Kinomoto family and Meiling and Tomoyo. Finally Fujitaka cleared his throat. "Obviously we have thought wrong about Li. May I ask where he is at this moment? I would like to apologize for my and my family's rash actions earlier when we met him."
Meiling, who had her face down during this time, raised her head. "I'm afraid he's not available at the moment." She told with her head raised high, her chin stubborn. Yet her eyes her glistening with wetness that gave them a special light, like how the ocean shines from underneath the water rather than above. "But I will tell him what you have told me."
Touya was already up from his seat, prowling like some angered tiger. "I am going to beat the crap out of that guy. To think I once trusted his hands and eyes roving all over my kaijuu!" He muttered angrily under his breath, his hands clenched and knuckles white from his tight grasp. His mother sent him a disapproving look, but didn't say anything.
"That's already been done." Meiling murmured with a slight smirk on her face. Touya turned and eyed her suspiciously, but all the girl did was smirk wider. Tomoyo, sitting beside Meiling, sighed. She wondered how the two could talk about beating Long when the most important thing right now was Sakura and Syaoran.
Her cell phone vibrated from her pocket and Tomoyo excused herself to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" She asked, whispering quietly in a small corner, her back turned away from the people as she looked at the big water drops roll down the big windows of the hospital. She followed a lone drop down the glass with her finger.
She had come to the end of the glass.
"Daidouji, this is Hiiragizawa."
"Hiiragizawa! How's Li-kun?" She asked worriedly.
"First things first. How's Kinomoto?" He replied, cutting her off.
"The doctor said that she's just in shock. She'll come around soon." Tomoyo replied.
"Good. Call me when she does." Eriol commanded, talking fast. "We need all the good news we can get now."
"What ---,"
"Listen. Syaoran's gone off somewhere and I can't find him now. The police will start looking for him. I might get him to come around, but don't keep your hopes up high. If necessary that it comes to the point that he has to run, tell Meiling to check the convent square. She'll know what that means."
"But I don't think the police will go after him." Tomoyo cut in. "It was just a fight."
"Nothing compared to what Syaoran has done before isn't it?" Eriol asked sharply.
"Gomenasai." She whispered.
"I should be saying that." Eriol told her, his voice softening. "I'll call you again if anything happens. And tell Meiling to keep her mouth shut." He said, in hopes of trying to joke.
"You know she won't say a thing," Tomoyo replied quietly. "Just, oh, be careful Hiiragizawa."
"Will do. Take care of yourself for me, Tomoyo. Ja."
But before she could say anything, he had hung up the phone. Had he just called her by her first name? And told her to take care of herself........ For him? Tomoyo smiled softly at the dark blue cell phone in her hands. "When this is over, I'll tell you how I feel," She paused. "Eriol Hiiragizawa."
Meiling saw Tomoyo with her cell and quickly excused herself, pulling Tomoyo to another quiet corner that was more isolated. "What did Eriol have to say?" She asked quickly.
"Li-kun's gone off somewhere. The police haven't started looking, but they will start. Hiiragizawa said that if it came to the point that Li-kun has to run, he told you to check the convent square."
Meiling swore. "I didn't think it'd be so serious."
Tomoyo looked at her, concerned. "What does the convent square mean? And the whole thing was just a fight; it happens all the time. Why would the police be after him?"
"Tomoyo," She started, but Tomoyo cut her off.
"That wasn't the whole story you told me was it?" She said quietly.
Meiling fixed her gaze on Tomoyo seriously and was a bit surprised when she saw Tomoyo waver a bit, but returned the gaze. Finally the Chinese girl looked away and sighed, leaning against the wall.
"Tomoyo. What I told you earlier was only partly the truth. Eriol and I decided, after leaving the Li family, that we would tell no one of the truth. It's full of bitterness and a time of harshness, a battle of trust. The only one who should be telling you everything is Syaoran Li."
"But I feel like I have the duty to tell you a bit more truth than you know." Meiling continued. "What I mentioned about Tao is true. Syaoran did fall in love with her. But everything else after that is fake. The police are not after Syaoran. No one is."
Tomoyo stared at her friend wide eyed. If no one was after Syaoran, then why had he left? Left Sakura and everyone else behind? It didn't make any sense. What was Syaoran running away from?
"As much as I would like to hate Tao, she wasn't that bad of a person." Meiling sighed, leaning against the cold wall with her eyes closes and head tilted slightly upwards. "Syaoran loved her. He truly did."
"But she didn't love him back." Tomoyo cut in.
Her friend opened her eyes, sadness and incomprehensible. "She never told me, but her black eyes told me, without words, that she did like Syaoran. Very much. Maybe even to the level of love. But I'll never know nor do I want to know."
Tomoyo swallowed painfully, shifting her eyesight away from Meiling.
"She - She reminds me of Sakura in a way. I sometimes see traces of her on Sakura when she smiles." Meiling whispered, her eyes sad and was a whirlpool of emotions. "But some things can't be controlled. They just simply happen."
Silence draped over the two but at the same time divided the friends.
"Li-kun's afraid that Sakura will be like Tao, or whatever happened will repeat itself." Tomoyo stated, the coldness in the air crackled. There was electricity, real lightening.
Meiling nodded miserably, unable to look Tomoyo in the eye.
"So he's decided to run from Sakura, thinking that if he stays away from her, he won't fall in love with her and what has happened will not happen again."
Once again Meiling nodded. "I know Sakura's different, Tomoyo." She begged, now looking at Tomoyo whose face had hardened and shoulders in a rigid and unnatural position. "But Syaoran can't see that. Not now."
Tomoyo stared at Meiling coldly but Meiling held her gaze. Slowly Tomoyo looked away, letting out a big breath of air that she had pent up inside her. "Sakura is different Meiling." She smiled softly. "Because she loves Syaoran Li, and she's willing to do whatever it takes to be with him. Even if everyone else disapproves and tries to stop them, Sakura will still love Li. I know this for the fact of who she is."
The Chinese girl looked at her friend startled. The truth she had spoken was so simple, yet so true. A single ray of light shone through the dark clouds. "Hai, she does."
"We just have to locate Li-kun and convince him that Sakura does love him." Tomoyo finished.
Meiling gave a wry smile. "Tomoyo, you're so pure in a sense that it's wonderful." Her face was grim. "You don't know what horrors we've been in, especially Syaoran. And that's a good thing."
"Mei?"
"Really. It's wonderful. And Sakura. She seems so innocent and pure. I hate to see what she's going through. Long was only a small part of how evil human nature can be." Her voice was harsh against the ears.
"Mei," Tomoyo said, "Arigato."
Her friend looked at her. "What for?"
"For everything. For protecting me a bit longer from the harshness. For being a great friend. I don't know. Just for being there." Tomoyo said with a warm smile.
"I should be thanking you." Meiling told her, giving her a tight hug. "I'm thankful it's you who Eriol has chosen to fall in love with." She whispered in her friend's ear.
Tomoyo blushed and quickly let go of her friend, staring at the floor mumbling embarrassedly. Meiling grinned.
----- Syaoran -----
The sound of my shoes slapping the wet pavement echoed in my ears. The pouring of rain drummed the surface of anything in contact. The thunder rolled above, its anger yet subsided. I could only hear the dull rapid pounding in my chest, filling my whole body and clogged my throat painfully. A sharpening pain shot through me and I doubled over on my knees, panting hard.
What was I doing?
The rain pounded in my ears and made everything in my vision look black and ugly. This was what human nature really was.
I could hear the echoes of those evil words faintly in my ears. Those memories swept over everything I knew and took over me completely. The contorted faces of those who spoke ugly words and false beliefs.
But to think I once believed those words that I thought were wrong now. Back then, it seemed correct, and the only righteous choice to take.
As I closed my eyes, my mind took me back to my memories. She was the first thing that came to mind, her smile brightening the darkness. Those black orbs that had a sparkle of light within. Her glossy ebony hair was always in a tight bun, but when she let it down, she seemed like a goddess in my eyes. But it was her smile that made my heart flutter so. It always melted all the pain and guilt away.
She was innocent then, as I was.
But like everything innocent, we became both impure. Even our love for each other that seemed so pure was twisted in the hands of others. What I would give to see her smile once more and tell her that I love her.
But she would grin that mischievous grin of hers and yell, "stupid!" and hitting me smartly on the head. She would tell me how I was thinking of the impossible. But she would soften and give me a warm smile as she told me that she knew without me telling her, and that she loved me too. And before I could say anything, she would be back to her grinning self and scold me for being so sentimental.
I smiled in spite of myself. Yes, that was what she would do.
God, I missed her, Sera Lin. Or rather, Tao Lan Hua.
-----
"Dr. Waleigh said that Sakura is awake but she needs a little bit more time to herself." Tomoyo said to Meiling as she walked out from Sakura's room. She beckoned her friend to a corner. "She refuses to open her eyes, Mei."
Meiling cursed and looked at the ground. "After I kill Long personally with my bare hands, I am going to kill my favorite, absolutely gushing cousin for running off." She muttered angrily.
"Um, excuse me?"
The two turned around to see a tall graceful girl with dark brown eyes and long black hair that was a bit messy. Her face looked a little pale. Whether it was because of the hospital lights or lack of sleep, it was hard to tell. Her shirt and long skirt were rumpled and unkempt.
"What can I do for you?" Tomoyo asked quickly before Meiling bit the head off the first person to walk by.
"Um, I heard you, uh, mention Sakura and Long." The girl started. "Um, do you mean happen to be talking about Sakura Kinomoto and Lei Long?"
Meiling glared full force. "That's our conversation, lady. You back out of it." She barked sharply. The girl bit her bottom lip and looked down, mumbling a polite apology. The Chinese girl exhaled sharply. "How do you know Sakura?"
The girl looked up sadly. "I don't know her exactly, but I know Lei Long." She quickly continued talking when she saw the Chinese girl glare more furiously. "He's in the hospital right now and he wanted me to come ask how Kinomoto is."
Tomoyo stepped in front of Meiling, to prevent this young girl from further damage. It was quite clear that this was the girl Sakura saw with Long. She was angry with the girl and would have been quite glad to let Meiling do the talking, but the way the girl's eyes looked kind of sad.
"I'm Tomoyo Daidouji, Sakura's friend. This is Meiling Li, another of Sakura's best friend." She introduced carefully.
The girl bowed. "I'm Amaryllis Chen."
"Sakura's quite in a mental shock right now. Apparently she has awoken, but she refuses to open her eyes." Tomoyo told her. She looked away, closing her eyes painfully as to stop the tears from coming. "How is Long?" She asked, but Amaryl could tell that her voice was stuffy.
Amaryl bowed her head. "Gomenasai." She said sincerely. "Li was right to have beaten up Lei. I had thought he had told Kinomoto....." Her voice trailed off. "I apologize for him as well as myself. He would come but he has to lie down."
Meiling smirked. "So my cousin has some use after all." She snorted. "Broken ribs?"
Amaryl smiled shyly. "Two," She admitted. "And a few cuts and a swollen shut eye going purple."
Meiling laughed. "Well, I guess I just have to wait until he's healed to beat him up then." She told the girl. "Now, why are you here?"
"May I speak to Kinomoto? I have some things to tell her." Amaryl said. When she saw the two friends glance at each other, she added, "You don't have to. I understand. But I would appreciate it."
Tomoyo clasped her friend's hand tightly and her friend gave her a grim smile, but nodded. "The doctor said that Sakura needs to rest, so please don't stay too long."
"Arigato Daidouji." Amaryl bowed again.
"Mei, could you please call Hiiragizawa for me? I told him I would call when Sakura woke. You talk to him first and I'll join you once I show Chen in."
Meiling nodded and walked off briskly without another word. Tomoyo smiled and opened the door for Amaryllis.
"Tomoyo, I thought I said," Sakura said before she paused. "Whose with you?"
Amaryllis stared with amazement. The girl before her had her eyes closed yet she could tell exactly who was in the room.
Tomoyo smiled softly. "I know, I know. You wanted to be alone for a while." She walked over to her best friend. "Sakura, this here is Amaryllis Chen. She says she has something to tell you."
Sakura didn't response.
"Will you talk to her?"
Amaryllis bowed her head. "Kinomoto, it's okay if you don't want to talk to me. If I were in your position I would not want to talk to me either."
Sakura listened, a slight Chinese lilt in her quiet voice. A slight ache went through her heart as she was reminded of Shin Hua with her Chinese accent she loved.
"I just came here to apologize for me and Lei." She started.
"Shut up!" Sakura said so harshly that Tomoyo had to place a hand down on her friend's shoulder to calm her. Tears dripped down. "Do you know how much is hurts to see someone you trusted to have betrayed you?"
"Gomennasai." Amaryllis apologized. "I'll be leaving now."
She was at the door, turning the handle when she heard Sakura's voice. "Do you love him? Lei Long?" Amaryl turned to look at the auburn haired girl. "Do you really love him?"
There was no hesitation when the answer came. "Hai, I do."
Tomoyo smiled and gave Sakura's hand a tight squeeze before slipping beside Amaryllis and out the door, clicking it shut quietly.
"There should be plenty of seats around," Sakura told her. "You'll become tired if you stand and talk."
Amaryl smiled softly. She was beginning to see why Lei had fallen in love with her in the first place.
"I'm glad that you love him." She smiled. "How long have you know each other?"
"About a month."
"Enough to make you seem that he's wonderful, isn't it?" Sakura asked with a smile. "Lei's a special guy.... I don't blame him the least for falling in love with you."
"It isn't like that, not really, Kinomoto." Amaryl spoke quietly, looking at her hands. "He didn't mean to trick you. He, he told me that,"
"He told you that he loved me, didn't he?"
"How did,"
"I could tell." She replied simply. "As you might know from Lei, an accident took away my sight for years. I can tell much more of what people are thinking than normal, being deprived of one senses. My other senses are remarkably heightened, especially my hearing."
"So you knew that he wasn't really the one?" Amaryl asked totally surprised. It seemed so..... twisted. That maybe in a sense, it wasn't Lei tricking Sakura, but the other way around.
Sakura laughed. "You make it sound like I was playing with him." She told her. "I wasn't. Not really. The idea lurked behind me that Lei wasn't the one who encouraged me to undergo the operation, but as time passed, how much I enjoyed being with him covered it all."
"That is, until I saw the two of you together." She finished.
"Gomen, that was my fault. I thought he had told you that we were,"
"It hurt. It really did when I saw you with Lei. I've come to trust him completely over the time and him not telling me about you hurt. But it was because of that, did I really awaken to my thoughts and what my heart was really telling me. I found the one who encouraged me and the one whom I truly love."
"Who is he?" Amaryl whispered. "Is it Syaoran Li?"
She saw a reminiscing smile flee across Sakura's face. It came as quickly as it came; yet it was enough to see the pain and sadness that came with it.
"Where is he?"
"He left." Sakura replied tersely.
"What,"
"There can be times where there are situations are unavoidable. I don't know why Syaoran left me, and sometimes I don't think I want to know why. I tell myself that I'll wait for him, but it still hurts, knowing how he promised to watch over me and then leaving me alone." Sakura sighed.
"It's obvious that he cares for you though, Kinomoto. He'll come back." Amaryl pleaded.
Sakura gave her a faint smile. "Arigato, Amaryllis. You have a wonderful name. It means pride, doesn't it?"
"I like to think it's a wonderful flower with a sweet meaning, but it's not." The girl said.
"But the pride of yourself has brought you far, has it not?" The auburn hair girl questioned. "Your pride is neither conceit nor arrogance."
When the other did not respond, Sakura nodded knowingly. "You should go back to Lei or he'll probably break more of his ribs as he tries to run down the hallway, thinking that you left him too."
Amaryl grinned through her wet eyes. She had come here to comfort Sakura, yet it seemed like the other way around. "Arigato," the raven-haired girl whispered before walking out the room quietly. Once Sakura heard the door shut firmly, heavy sobs racked through her, her chest heaving up and down as she gasped for breath. Sakura clutched the side of the table next to the bed tightly, trying to calm herself down.
Oh God. Syaoran, where are you?
----- Syaoran -----
I met her in South Korea when the clan sent me, Meiling, and Eriol in part of a secret agency in hopes of sending important information for North Korea and China, who both was Communist. I understood what I was to do, what I was taught, and the ideals of the Li clan, but when I came to the foreign land of South Korea, I found that I knew nothing.
I met her in the office. I was almost sixteen then. It happened more than two years ago. And she was seventeen. Just a bit older than I. She was the secretary of some important South Korean political figure, whose name I have merely tossed behind. Her name was Tao Lan Hua, but she told me that was only an alias for her work. Her real name was Sera. Sera Lin. We were enemies, we both knew that from the beginning, but I found that I was attracted to her by her grin. I told myself that I was just using her, but as time slowly passes, I knew I was fooling myself. I believed that what the clan taught me was right, and I taught her their ideals. We were naïve, we both were. Sera Lin and I.
To this day, I am forever in Meiling's debt. It was she who found out that the leaders of our unit and those in higher position knew about my relation with this girl. They knew that the things they taught me, I would tell Sera. And Sera had begun to question her authorities. Eriol had tried to protect the both of us, but he was dispatched off to England before he could prevent much from happening. Meiling, perhaps being a girl, was overlooked. She warned me.
But I loved her, I truly did. She was my first piece of physical love. She was my first friend, and more, outside the Li clan. I wasn't going to toss that all away at once. Meiling knew the fact of who I was, and though I knew she disapproved, she supported me.
Yet despite all the precautions I did, that Sera did, that Meiling did, we could not stop the inevitable. When it became apparent that I wasn't telling Sera what the officials were telling me, that I had no more use, they took drastic measures to separate us to prevent further disillusionment in the future Li clan leader.
And what happened next is something I don't to have happen again. They took her away from me, before we had to time to run, and killed her in front of me. I remember her pleads, and mine, unheard in the harsh winds. She didn't cry nor struggle when a military official tied her hands together. Her eyes were full of sadness, but they showed no regret. And when the gun was pointed to her head, Sera gave me one last smile, mouthed something, and was gone.
I would of died that day as well, gone after the girl I loved if it weren't for Meiling. She, hidden, was not captured, and during the moment of chaos, and led me to a secret alley. I just ran after her, numbness floating through my body. All I could think was that I killed her. If I had not met her, fallen in love with her, Sera would not have been killed.
Then I remembered no more.
When I awoke, we were on a ship, heading towards Japan was what Meiling told me. She and Eriol had kept close contact and that Eriol would meet us there.
I never told them how grateful I was for them. I knew Meiling gave up her hard earned position in the Li clan, being the only female in history. Eriol tossed his dreams of learning literature in England.
And I never told Sera how much I loved her. I knew her for only one month, but she made me feel complete. She had told me that she loved me, right before the gunshot rang, yet I was so stupid and furious that I knew none of it until days later.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to think of the horrid memories. My hands shook, taking upon a familiar numbness that was void of all pain, yet at the same time was a pain that contained all pains.
Rain had sound once more. Suddenly. I was once more aware of how cold and wet I was. I was once more aware that I was walking, slowly, not sure of where I was heading.
And then a sweet fragrance of something familiar warmed my whole soul. When I raised my head, I saw the cherry blossom tree, the one in front of Mikomi Sono. It was full bloom, its light pink petals so elegantly portrayed as if etched in perfect detail in a grand painting. I squinted through my wet bangs. I must be imagining things. The rain had gone and instead spring was here. The wind blew of a new life. It was the smell of a new beginning.
Mine.
I knew then what I was going to see next, but part of me could not believe what I was going to see. But when a shadow appeared, out of nowhere, walking towards the cherry blossom tree, I knew with my whole body, that it was Sakura Kinomoto that I was going to see before my eyes.
She was more beautiful than I remember that day. Her silky long auburn hair swayed with the gentle winds, framing her soft features of her face. A rosy hue swept across her cheeks, a small smile showing delight and at the same time hiding secrets. Her eyes were closed in a peaceful, accepting way, but I longed for her to open them to see that sparkle of light in those pools of emerald. Sakura petals danced around her, greeting her. A stray one made its way in front of me and I opened my hand to let it drift into my open palm. It fluttered softly, like a butterfly, and then flew out into sky. I watched it fly, my eyes falling upon Sakura.
She was smiling at me in such a way that she knew what I was doing there. I stared at her. I stared into her eyes, eyes that were filled with spring and hope. I stared at her hard, not wanting her to disappear while wondering why she could see. But I blinked and she was gone with the cherry blossom tree.
A cord of guilt sang through my heart. I closed my eyes, feeling the dull ache sharpen in my chest. Sera Lin. I loved her, promised I would love no other and trust no other. And here I was, trusting Sakura. But did I love her?
The only thing I was certain of was my love Sera Lin and hers in return. Would she let me love another, or would that be betraying her love? And if I did love Sakura, would I have to be separated from her? I couldn't stand the thought of killing another I loved.
Would it be best if I just left Sakura?
She must be furious at me for leaving her. But I'll always watch over her. That's a promise I'll never break. But I can't love her.
The soft vibrating of my cell phone brought me back to the gloomy reality. The rain had ceased, leaving the whole world full of sadness and lost. As I reached for the phone, I frowned, remembering that I had turned off my cell phone.
And when I turned on my cell phone, instead of being greeted with the usual dull settings, a line of small typed words appeared that doesn't appear on cell phones. Under the dim night sky, I read the message with my heart beating fast.
"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."
Sera Lin. I knew then that this was from her. Was she telling me to let go? Then I remembered a line Sera often told me: the one word that frees us, of all the weight and pain of life is love.
I did not learn what was love, and how to love until I met Sera. And I had not loved since she died.
Eriol's voice shook me out of my realization. I looked down at the cell phone that showed that an incoming voice message was in the process of being played. Sera's note was gone.
"Syaoran, where the hell are you? Kinomoto's in the hospital. She's okay, just in shock, but Meiling tells me that she doesn't want to see." There was a short pause as Eriol breathed heavily. "Just call me and we'll think of something okay?"
Sakura. I had to go see her. To show her perhaps there are good things in the world. Sakura had taught me that, with her bright smiles and shining emerald eyes as she saw something beautiful. I had to return that to her.
-----
It was Meiling who found Sakura sobbing uncontrollably. She quickly reached over to comfort her friend, but Sakura had wrapped her arms around herself and turned away. Meiling tried once more but her friend shuddered at her touch. Turned around, Sakura didn't see the hurt in Meiling's eyes as she turned, sitting down in an empty chair beside the bed.
"I know I don't have the right to be saying this, but will you please listen to me?" the Chinese girl asked quietly. Sakura nodded with her head down.
"Syaoran was once part of the renown Li clan in China. He was once even the next leader of the Li clan. But once when he was in South Korea, he fell in love with a girl there and she perhaps loved him back. Yet the two were on opposite sides, she a South Korean while Syaoran was helping the North. Officers knew of this and killed the girl in front of Syaoran."
Meiling paused, eyeing Sakura who was just sitting there, but she noticed that the girl's shoulders weren't so rigid and tense.
"I was there with him, in South Korea. I helped him come to Tomoeda with Eriol. He swore that day, by his name, that he would not trust nor love anyone. Two years have passed since that accident and he began to heal. Working with flowers helped him stand up again the most. And you, Sakura. Especially you."
"He tried so hard to not let you know that it was him who told you to undergo the surgery because he was afraid of trusting, afraid of loving. He didn't want to kill anyone else. Now that you know the truth, Syaoran's afraid. I know you love him. I know he knows you love him. But he does not have that courage to face the fact that he loves you."
Sakura laughed, harshly. "Whose brave in this world? We're all afraid of something in our lives aren't we? The price of friendship, of love, is high. And when our loved ones die, we hurt because we have given a part of ourselves to them and its something we can't take back. Yet those who hurt the most are those who have opened their hearts to love. We're so unbearably vulnerable when we do."
"Sakura.....,"
"I've opened my heart and now I'm as helpless and weak as a newborn starling. I don't even have the strength to open my eyes to face the fears in this world." Sakura smiled bitterly.
Meiling reached over and clasped a hand over her friend's fist, squeezing lightly. "But its those choices in life that make life worth living, isn't it Sakura? Isn't it?"
Sakura turned towards the direction to her friend and smiled, a genuine smile that brightened her face. "Hai, Meiling."
"We'll wait for him together. You, me, and Tomoyo." The Chinese girl said.
Sakura nodded, affirming the promise. "Now that you mention it, where's Tomoyo?"
A sly grin swept across Meiling's face. "She's currently talking on the phone with Eriol. They seem to have a lot to say to each other lately."
Sakura got the hint and grinned as well.
-----
He had just hung up the phone when it rang and Eriol swiftly picked it up before the second ring. Without any unnecessary introduction, he immediately said what was on his mind. "Syaoran, you have five seconds to tell me where you are and what the hell you think you're doing."
A low sheepish chuckle came from the other end that surprised Eriol. Syaoran never chuckled like this and if he did, something big must of changed him. Unless of course, this wasn't Syaoran.
"Syaoran?"
"Yeah, it's me." A familiar voice finally came on the line. "I'm on the way to your house. Or rather, the hospital."
Eriol grunted, showing not the slightest bit of giving in. "And?"
"And I'm thinking of apologizing."
"To?"
"Sakura." When Eriol did not make any comment or any sound to show that he had heard, Syaoran repeated it again.
"What do you want me to say, Syaoran? Do you want my approval? My advice?" His friend demanded. "Kinomoto's not going to just accept any apology, my dear friend. Do you really know what you're doing? She's not Tao."
"Lin. Her name was Sera Lin. Tao Lan Hua was just an alias." Syaoran corrected automatically.
"It doesn't make a difference," Eriol shot back, angrily. "Put yourself in Sakura's position and think it over! Do you really think a simple apology will make everything all bright and happy?"
"No, I don't." Syaoran replied quietly.
"Good." Eriol sighed. "Look, I didn't mean to chew off your head; Meiling's going to have the honor this time. I'm just worried about you buddy. And for Kinomoto. She's not just some girl you find on the streets, Syaoran."
"I know."
There was a slight pause before Eriol spoke. "Then I'm trusting on your instinct for once, Syaoran. I don't want to have to haul you out with the help of Meiling again. I have someone here I don't want to lose. Ever. And I think that goes for you as well."
Syaoran smiled as he turned off his cell phone. The raining had stop long ago and now he looked at his surroundings in a different light. The tears had seemed to wash away the troubles and leaving a new slate to begin again. Syaoran took a deep breath, taking with him the fresh smell of summer. The air was clearer and the dark clouds had finished its mourning, donning a lighter shade of gray instead. Soon, he knew, the sky could clear and everything would be back to its normal pace. Yet he had things to do, people to see before everything in his life could start again.
-----
"Meiling, could you do me a favor?" Sakura asked.
"Sure."
"Could you go down to the first floor, buy two cans of Tropicana orange juice for me?" Her friend asked with a smile.
"Sure, but why two? And the first floor? There should be one down the hall." Meiling asked confused as she stood up, grabbing her purse.
Sakura just grinned. "You'll find out yourself later. If you see Tomoyo, tell her I would like to be alone." If the Chinese girl had any doubts, she didn't voice them out loud. Instead she nodded and quietly went out the door.
Meiling ran into Tomoyo on her way to the elevator and relayed the message. Tomoyo blinked surprised. "Then I better tell the rest of the family if peace is what Sakura really wants. You should hurry and get her that orange juice she wants." Her friend nodded and pressed the down button for the elevator.
She tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator slowly descended down. Even the elevator door opened painstakingly slow. Meiling growled and quickly went to the first vending machine she saw. She had just bent down to retrieve the cans of orange juice when she heard a familiar voice.
"Miss, where can I find Kinomoto Sakura?"
"Kinomoto Sakura? She's on the fifth floor to your right, number 105." A nurse replied.
"Arigato."
Meiling stared.
"Syaoran?" She whispered hoarsely. Syaoran, who was heading towards the elevator, turned around to see his cousin wide eyed with bottles of juice. She slipped a bottle on the ground but made no motion to pick it up.
"Hey," He said with a small smile. "I took my time didn't I?"
"You baka!" She yelled. "Do you know how worried we were?" She said, her voice cracking. Syaoran apologized softly. Meiling sniffled and picked up the stray can.
The two cousins took the elevator up. Once again, Meiling could not stop but sigh and groan under her breath every time the elevator stopped to pick up more people. When the fifth floor finally arrived, she grabbed Syaoran's hand and marched him to Sakura's room number.
"Here." She thrust the cans into Syaoran's hands. "Those are for Sakura. Now get in there!" Meiling demanded.
Tomoyo, upon hearing their voices, came and gasped when she saw Syaoran in front of her. Syaoran turned and gave her a half smile sheepishly.
"Daidouji."
The girl quickly composed herself. "Li-kun." She replied in the same manner as he did. Meiling, in between them, threw her hands up, exasperated at how slow time was moving.
"Okay! Syaoran, there's no time waste! Just get in there, apologize and tell her you love her. Then we can all live happily ever after." Syaoran blinked and Tomoyo grinned at her friend's words.
"She's been waiting Li-kun." Tomoyo said softly. Syaoran looked at her and nodded. The two girls had identical smiles on her faces, both bursting with curiosity while at the same time encouraging.
He turned the handle and went in.
Sakura was sitting, her bed raised into a sitting position. She lifted her head and when she heard the door open and someone enter.
"You can place the orange juice on the table. One of them is for you anyway," Sakura told him. "There should be a dry towel on one of the chairs. You must be cold from the rain."
"It stopped a while ago." He told her, sitting down at the chair nearest to the bed while draping the towel around his neck.
"I noticed." She replied softly. "But I didn't give you that towel for nothing," She turned towards him with a smile, "Syaoran Li."
Syaoran grinned and ruffled his hair with the dry towel. Sakura was feeling for the can on the table with her hand unsuccessfully. He picked it up. "Catch."
Sakura sat back up and Syaoran threw the bottle at her. Her skills weren't the least bit rusty at all. "Arigato." She opened the can and sipped. The fresh, tangy taste of orange juice flowed down her dry throat. Meanwhile Syaoran had picked up his and was drinking from it as well.
"When we first met, this was the orange juice you treated me." She said quietly. Then she looked up and grinned at him. "I've repaid you back. Now we're on even footing."
Syaoran stared at her, surprised, before laughing, a soft low voice that Sakura had missed hearing. "Not quite, Kinomoto." He answered.
"What? The last time I treated you to a drink was at the hamburger shop before my small accident with some punks. I was still one drink behind, which I just gave you." She said with a cute confused smile on her face.
The boy shook his head. "I don't care about drinks, well, at least not right now." He told her. "Remember our talk that day? Didn't I tell you to trust me?"
Sakura nodded, not saying a word. "I still do, Syaoran. I never have doubted my trust for you until you left me. You said you would always watch over me."
"Sakura," He started.
She smiled softly. "Syaoran, what's she like? The girl you fell in love with. What's she like?"
Syaoran studied her, not saying a word.
"I'm not jealous. I want to know who she is. She sounds amazing, to have opened your heart. That's someone I would have wanted to meet."
There was a slight pause before Syaoran cleared his throat. "She was the most amazing woman I have ever met." He said, looking at the juice in his hands. "She was the first friend I ever had beside family, and even not all family members are my friends. It was her smile, playful and daring, that made me feel attracted to her. She was someone who was strong and kind."
Sakura smiled, letting his words sink slowly into her skin. It was obvious Syaoran's love for this girl. He loved her deeply, which meant it hurt more when she left.
"What was her name?"
"Sera Lin." Syaoran replied.
"Sera." Sakura repeated slowly. "She reminds me of Shin Hua, a best friend of mine who died in the accident I told you about." Syaoran made no comment. "The more we love, the more vulnerable we are. Experience tells us that it's true." She repeated the words she had earlier said to Meiling.
"That's the world we live in." His voice harsh. "We can't escape the pain."
"But with pain comes joy. I remember some quote I read somewhere that said something like this: the one word that frees us,"
"Of all the weight and pain of life," Syaoran continued.
"Is love." The two said together. Sakura smiled. "So is it true?" She asked him.
Syaoran gave a small smile. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" Sakura's voice rose.
"Maybe." He affirmed. "It'll always be maybe until you open your eyes." He told her stubbornly. "Your eyes are the part about you that I love the most. Did you know there's a special light that lights up whenever you're delighted?" Syaoran asked her. "It's like the how light shines from beneath the ocean rather than from above."
Sakura listened to his words, her whole body warming as if a blanket was wrapped around her lonely soul. "Syaoran, is there a light now?" She asked.
Syaoran looked up. Looked up into a swirling depth of sparkling emerald. He eased himself and sat on the edge of her bed, not breaking eye contact. "Yes, Sakura there is." He told her huskily as he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. She sighed and moved deeper into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.
When they broke away, Syaoran grinned at her. "Now we're even," he told her, making her smile. "Now move over." Sakura obediently moved over and Syaoran sat close to her.
"You're wet," She complained. Syaoran grinned, but he relented and took off his shirt, draping it over the back of the chair to dry.
"Now lower the bed will you? What's a bed for if I can't sleep in it?"
"Self centered," Sakura snorted as she lowered the bed.
"Lovable, aren't I?" Syaoran asked as he crawled back to the spot next to Sakura. Sakura rolled her eyes but smiled. He yawned. "Now go to sleep. Sweet dreams." With that he promptly closed his eyes and fell to sleep with one of his arms wrapped around Sakura tightly.
Sakura observed him as she brushed a stray hair from his forehead. A small content smile lingered on his face and the rhythmic breathing showed that he was sleeping comfortably. She leaned over a bit and gave him a kiss on the forehead which made Syaoran smile wider and his arm wrap around her more comfortably. Sakura sighed happily and laid her head on his chest, the two fitting together like two puzzle pieces.
And at this sweet, loving moment, Tomoyo and Meiling, who were looking through a small, uncovered corner in the window, sighed like how they do in all romance movies and said in unison, "kawaii!"
-----
To love is an act of courage. Indeed, when we do love or care for someone, we're opening our hearts and thus making ourselves vulnerable. Like Sakura said, the price of love is high, especially how are heart aches when our loved ones leave. Yet it's the choice of loving, instead of hating, that makes us feel alive.
"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
"Give all to love; obey thy heart."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."
Sophocles
-----
So, how was it? I'm planning to have a short epilogue as an individual chapter. I'm open to any suggestions for the epilogue here. I have some in mind, but it would be wonderful to hear your opinions.
I don't think this one is one of my best chapters, but I've put my whole effort into this chapter. I admit, it has taken me quite a while to accomplish this. Also, the whole historical background with South and North Korea is nothing real. I just decided to use Korea since the two are quite different and near China.
There was a lot of thinking rather than action (I hope it wasn't boring) due to lots of explanation on Syaoran's behalf. If you still have any questions or if anywhere is unclear, tell me in your review or send me an email and I'll be happy to reply.
My last thing I want to mention is how much I owe all of you for this story. It's hundred times better than I had imagined it to be, and that's the effort of you all that have read this. Once again, thank you!
Rainbow Dreamer/ Iris Dreamer.
---------Written by Rainbow Dreamer
-----Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs solely to Clamp. I hold no claims on this fanfiction in any way. The plot, however, is mine and I would like it to remain that way. In other words, no plagiarism you evil little men out there! Hehe.
----- AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah! SORRY for the late, late update and the huge shock I gave most of you people, giving you the illusion that Sakura's dead. Oh dear. I didn't think it sounded like that until I read the reviews and went back to read the chapter! Gomen! Anyhow, this should be the last chapter, a lot of explaining and Syaoran's point of view. This chapter is mainly his story. I might make a short epilogue by itself if this chapter gets to long, but other than that, there should be an epilogue after the end of this chapter.
I want to appreciate you guys for reading this fic! I want to say this first off. THANK YOU! I mean it. Without everyone's reviews and great encouragement, this story would not have been written quite so vividly and well. To this, I thank you all!
And, I've changed my alias from Rainbow Dreamer to Iris Dreamer since I didn't want to be Rainbow Dreamer1! Hehe!
Oh! Did I tell you guys how happy I was when I received a grand 50 reviews for the last chapter?! Enough said. Happy reading!
Rainbow Dreamer.
----- SPECIAL THANKS: Karisa Temura: I should be the one thanking you! Big thanks!
Gohansfan: I loved reading your review! I read at least five times and it still makes me laugh. I'm not laughing at you, rather I admire your imagination. My favorite of all was the one about the cranky granny. Sorry if I freaked you out about Sakura. Heh. Hm. Ooh, a college down in the south? Argh. I'm having a huge headache searching for the so-called "perfect" school. Anyhow, happy reading! Oh, and it's Takuro, not Toguro or Tokuro. Heh.
Nichirin: Thank you. This chapter's much happier than the last one.
Safaia Hiryuu: Thank you! Now are you Safaia Hiryuu or Hoshi hanazakari? Hehe.
Mini Sweety: I never really intended to make Lei Long a really bad guy. Hm. And about contacts. Well, I might be getting them next year, after my senior year before college, but other than that, I'm spared from opening my eyes wide and sticking some invisible thing inside. Hehe.
Sailor Jamie: Thanks for loving the story, and the last part about Sakura dying won't be so crazy if you read on!
Kawaii Cherry Wolf: Don't panic. Everything shall go wonderful in this chapter, or so I hope. I want to say a special thanks to you especially for sticking up with me since my first fic. Thanks girl!
Illusioner 1412: Hm, bad or good ending? Well, it depends for your point of view. But if you've read my other fics, you'll know I'm a sucker for sweet endings.
Cherri Ookami: Hehe. I'm just glad the theory was right. ChibiSakuraSyaoran is your sister? Interesting. Anyhow, thanks and happy reading new ruler of the world!
Smilez: Thanks! And double thanks for reading my one-fic as well.
Azi: Glad you're no longer confused and if you are, some questions will be answered here. Thanks for reviewing.
Sakura Lova: To invoke such emotions from my readers make me feel wonderful. At least my stuff is appreciated! Anyhow, thanks for reading. I hope this chapter won't make you cry though!
Chibi Neko-Chan2: Hehe, you're a number too! I didn't want to be a number so I changed my pen name to Iris dreamer instead of rainbow dreamer. Heh. Happy reading!
Cheler: Indeed, some things are yet known. You can figure them out in this chapter.
Heart of Night: Sorry for such a late update!
Lil Dudette: Again, I apologize for the late update. This chapter's super long for all you guys!
Cherry Princess Sakura: This chapter's full of Syaoran's point of view and his thoughts. Cheer for joy, all those Syaoran fans, although he may be a little bit out of character. Anyhow, thanks for reading. I added a small flower meaning in this one, not really important however.
Inkblots: Many thanks for your compliments! Happy reading!
Anime Obsession Fantasy: Don't panic. Everything will be unraveled here.
To the person who left their name blank: Thank you!
Time Warp: Thanks!
Dar Assassin 250: Thanks! And Duke? That's school is like one of the best in the US! You must be some great genius!
Lauren: Many thanks girl. I hope that you will enjoy this chapter immensely.
Lil Cherry Blossom Angel: Thank you.
Mesmer: Your welcome for the chapter update email. Yes, I'll be doing it again. But then again, you probably have received it if you're reading this. Hehe. Happy reading!
Phoenix Angel Guardian: Yes, Syaoran Xiao Lang Li was actually Takuro Li in Mikomi Sono. And Eriol was Xiao Lang Hiiragizawa.
Moshi Moshi Queen: Yep, Syaoran has his reasons for leaving, which will be explained from his part of view here. Enjoy!
Altaria Star: Thank you for reading this even though you're a great sailor moon fan! Thank you! I don't know much about sailor moon to tell you the truth. But you must be some great writer. Happy reading!
Tiarella Cordifolia: Hehe, am I forgiven now that I've updated? Sorry about the late update however.
Eclipse: Sakura's been having doubts whether Syaoran was the one or not. But when she realized that Lei wasn't the one, her doubts increased. His hand that held hers, that warm feeling, made her realize that he was the one who held her hand and encouraged her to undergo the operation. Sorry if it wasn't really well explained.
Chibi Sakura Syaoran: Finally I meet the sister of Cherri Ookami! And your theory must be deadly accurate! Anyhow, happy reading and many thanks.
Angelz of Death: Thanks!
Scarlet Rose5: Glad you came back, after being kicked off the net, to read this! Many, many thanks!
Rosalind: Thanks for reading this fic, as well as my one shot, and even my first fic, "Do You Remember Me? I Remember You" which is not really written well. Hehe. It's amazing how much I've improved since then!
Hana Tenshi Himeko: No, I don't think there'll be a sequel to this story. However, I have an action/romance story that is also CCS. But that won't be coming up anytime soon (I think) since I'm entering my senior year and I have lots of stuff to do including SATs, college searching, college essays, and tons of college applications! But, we'll see.
AkuOokami: Don't worry. Is Sakura dead or did she accidentally glue her eyelids together will be revealed just a bit later.
Mistress Tate: LoL, hey! I'm a hopeless romantic as well! What we have in common!
Daz: Hey Daz! I'm psyched that you're still sticking up with me and reading this. And, yes, Steven's party was a total blast! Hehe.
Moonbae: Why the two had to change their names while they worked in the shop will be found out in the next chapter (the epilogue).
Midnight Moon2: Thanks!
Angel Sari Neko Jeminie Indigo: Thank you! I hope you will find time to finish this story.
Dancer5: Girl, thank you. You totally show how much you love my story! Thanks!
Leena-Chan: Heheh! I'm glad you're finishing my story. And Mr. Mase, Mrs. Sword, and lil Nunchuku who are probably there reading this with you. Many thanks!
Chessi: Thank you!
Enchantress Azure: Hey! I've changed my alias as well. I didn't want to be no Rainbow Dreamer1, so I changed it to Iris Dreamer, in which iris means rainbow, so I thought it would be appropriate.
XX Angelic Petal xX: Thank you for putting me on your favorites! Happy reading!
Ash Night5: How I hate numbers too! Thank you for complimenting my twist that Li is Takuro. Many thanks!
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Rainbow Dreamer, or should I say Iris Dreamer?
----- CHAPTER FOURTEEN:
-----"Give all to love; obey thy heart."
-----Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
"Sakura!" Tomoyo quickly shifted her best friend into a lying position. Her rosy cheeks now held a hue of sickening paleness. "Sakura," Tomoyo whispered into her ear, "You have to trust him." But the girl showed no indication that she had heard.
"Sakura?" Meiling panicked, as she watched Sakura lie on the bed with ashy whiteness. She hated Syaoran for not being here. She hated Tao for not loving Syaoran. She hated Sakura for not being stronger.
But those were just excuses. She didn't hate anyone, except for herself.
Tomoyo sighed, closing her eyes for a long time before opening them again. She had hoped everything was just a dream, but it wasn't. She reached over and smoothed Sakura's hair lovingly.
"Meiling, stop blaming yourself. You know clearly, more than anyone else, that no one is to blame for this." Tomoyo said quietly as she stood up. "Call the hospital while I pack a few things so we can stay by her."
The Chinese girl stopped her ranting that she was doing under her breath, and stared at Tomoyo who was looking seriously at her. Meiling sighed and buckled to the floor when her knees weakened. "Why do I feel like I'm losing everything at once? First Syaoran, and now Sakura."
"Baka!" She scolded in a harsh, fierce voice that made Meiling look up surprised. Tomoyo never yelled. "Sakura's not dead, and neither is Li-kun." She reprimanded. "Now, help me call the hospital."
Meiling looked into those worried, yet calm amethyst eyes. She could tell that Tomoyo was equally worried, but she wasn't letting her emotions overcome herself. "Tomoyo, has anyone told you what a great mother you would become?"
"Are you suggesting that I should get married?" Her friend called back from another room as she began to pack the bags.
"Maybe, Tomoyo, maybe." Meiling replied as she picked up the phone to call. "And I'm hoping it'd be someone I know," She hinted.
"Have you called yet?" Tomoyo demanded.
"Calling!" Meiling shouted. As she waited to be hooked to the hospital line, she smiled. Tomoyo had that effect on people. She never saw Tomoyo lose her temper and could be counted to stay calm in dire situations.
Within ten minutes, Sakura, Meiling, and Tomoyo were in the ambulance that had arrived. The Kinomoto family was meeting them at the hospital and would arrive roughly at the same time. On the way, Meiling had called Eriol and he promised he would track their cousin down to tell him the news.
They could only hope for the best now.
-----
"Thank Kami Sakura's all right." Tomoyo sighed, breathing a deep breath when Dr. Waleigh explained that Sakura was just too tired and seemed a bit unstable. "Seems like she's in a shock," was what he had told them, somewhat confused.
Touya nodded, but the way he stood stiffly told Tomoyo he had something else in mind than just his little kaijuu. Dr. Waleigh and Sakura's nurse sensed something wrong and quickly excused themselves. Once the door clicked shut, Touya rounded his fierce eyes upon Meiling.
"Who did this to her?" he demanded.
"Touya! It's not Meiling's fault, so don't pile it all upon her." Tomoyo intervened to protect her friend. She knew Touya hounded on her because Meiling wasn't exactly family.
"Touya, you're behavior is inexcusable." Nadeshiko agreed. "Apologize to Meiling. She's just as concerned about Sakura as we all are."
The older brother looked over at his mother then at Sakura who was sleeping quietly on her bed. Then his eyes fell upon Meiling's who were looking up into his with bright defiance. If it weren't for the situation, he would have admired her bravery.
"Gomenasai." Touya told her. "My temper gets the best out of me when it concerns my kaijuu."
Meiling eyed him critically. "Whatever." She told him, giving him a small grin. She paused, looking at Sakura, before talking once again. "Perhaps we should go out to talk."
Tomoyo gave Meiling a reassuring smile. "Aunt Nadeshiko," Tomoyo started. "Do you know why Sakura suddenly wanted to see again? All of us had tried so hard to show Sakura that she was to carry the light, but she wanted to stay in the darkness."
The family looked at each other. "Remember on Sakura's birthday and she and I were separated for a while because of the crowd? While she was gone, she met a guy who gave her the courage and hope to take the operation."
"Sakura has been wanting to thank that guy because he gave her sight once more. When she enrolled in Tomoeda High, she found him." Tomoyo continued.
"His name, as you might all recognize, is Lei Long." Meiling finished briskly. "I don't want to say much about this, since it should be coming from Sakura. It's personal." She growled. "This afternoon, supposedly Sakura went for a walk by herself in the park. And then my cousin, Syaoran Li,"
When Touya grunted, Meiling turned to him. "Yes, the gaki. But the gaki just saved your little kaijuu's life." She told him with a glare.
"According to him, Sakura was on the street and was almost crashed by a car. My cousin managed to save her before the accident could happen. Apparently she was shocked from seeing this Long guy with another girl." Meiling crossed her arms. "That's more or less the story."
Silence floated between the space that divided the Kinomoto family and Meiling and Tomoyo. Finally Fujitaka cleared his throat. "Obviously we have thought wrong about Li. May I ask where he is at this moment? I would like to apologize for my and my family's rash actions earlier when we met him."
Meiling, who had her face down during this time, raised her head. "I'm afraid he's not available at the moment." She told with her head raised high, her chin stubborn. Yet her eyes her glistening with wetness that gave them a special light, like how the ocean shines from underneath the water rather than above. "But I will tell him what you have told me."
Touya was already up from his seat, prowling like some angered tiger. "I am going to beat the crap out of that guy. To think I once trusted his hands and eyes roving all over my kaijuu!" He muttered angrily under his breath, his hands clenched and knuckles white from his tight grasp. His mother sent him a disapproving look, but didn't say anything.
"That's already been done." Meiling murmured with a slight smirk on her face. Touya turned and eyed her suspiciously, but all the girl did was smirk wider. Tomoyo, sitting beside Meiling, sighed. She wondered how the two could talk about beating Long when the most important thing right now was Sakura and Syaoran.
Her cell phone vibrated from her pocket and Tomoyo excused herself to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" She asked, whispering quietly in a small corner, her back turned away from the people as she looked at the big water drops roll down the big windows of the hospital. She followed a lone drop down the glass with her finger.
She had come to the end of the glass.
"Daidouji, this is Hiiragizawa."
"Hiiragizawa! How's Li-kun?" She asked worriedly.
"First things first. How's Kinomoto?" He replied, cutting her off.
"The doctor said that she's just in shock. She'll come around soon." Tomoyo replied.
"Good. Call me when she does." Eriol commanded, talking fast. "We need all the good news we can get now."
"What ---,"
"Listen. Syaoran's gone off somewhere and I can't find him now. The police will start looking for him. I might get him to come around, but don't keep your hopes up high. If necessary that it comes to the point that he has to run, tell Meiling to check the convent square. She'll know what that means."
"But I don't think the police will go after him." Tomoyo cut in. "It was just a fight."
"Nothing compared to what Syaoran has done before isn't it?" Eriol asked sharply.
"Gomenasai." She whispered.
"I should be saying that." Eriol told her, his voice softening. "I'll call you again if anything happens. And tell Meiling to keep her mouth shut." He said, in hopes of trying to joke.
"You know she won't say a thing," Tomoyo replied quietly. "Just, oh, be careful Hiiragizawa."
"Will do. Take care of yourself for me, Tomoyo. Ja."
But before she could say anything, he had hung up the phone. Had he just called her by her first name? And told her to take care of herself........ For him? Tomoyo smiled softly at the dark blue cell phone in her hands. "When this is over, I'll tell you how I feel," She paused. "Eriol Hiiragizawa."
Meiling saw Tomoyo with her cell and quickly excused herself, pulling Tomoyo to another quiet corner that was more isolated. "What did Eriol have to say?" She asked quickly.
"Li-kun's gone off somewhere. The police haven't started looking, but they will start. Hiiragizawa said that if it came to the point that Li-kun has to run, he told you to check the convent square."
Meiling swore. "I didn't think it'd be so serious."
Tomoyo looked at her, concerned. "What does the convent square mean? And the whole thing was just a fight; it happens all the time. Why would the police be after him?"
"Tomoyo," She started, but Tomoyo cut her off.
"That wasn't the whole story you told me was it?" She said quietly.
Meiling fixed her gaze on Tomoyo seriously and was a bit surprised when she saw Tomoyo waver a bit, but returned the gaze. Finally the Chinese girl looked away and sighed, leaning against the wall.
"Tomoyo. What I told you earlier was only partly the truth. Eriol and I decided, after leaving the Li family, that we would tell no one of the truth. It's full of bitterness and a time of harshness, a battle of trust. The only one who should be telling you everything is Syaoran Li."
"But I feel like I have the duty to tell you a bit more truth than you know." Meiling continued. "What I mentioned about Tao is true. Syaoran did fall in love with her. But everything else after that is fake. The police are not after Syaoran. No one is."
Tomoyo stared at her friend wide eyed. If no one was after Syaoran, then why had he left? Left Sakura and everyone else behind? It didn't make any sense. What was Syaoran running away from?
"As much as I would like to hate Tao, she wasn't that bad of a person." Meiling sighed, leaning against the cold wall with her eyes closes and head tilted slightly upwards. "Syaoran loved her. He truly did."
"But she didn't love him back." Tomoyo cut in.
Her friend opened her eyes, sadness and incomprehensible. "She never told me, but her black eyes told me, without words, that she did like Syaoran. Very much. Maybe even to the level of love. But I'll never know nor do I want to know."
Tomoyo swallowed painfully, shifting her eyesight away from Meiling.
"She - She reminds me of Sakura in a way. I sometimes see traces of her on Sakura when she smiles." Meiling whispered, her eyes sad and was a whirlpool of emotions. "But some things can't be controlled. They just simply happen."
Silence draped over the two but at the same time divided the friends.
"Li-kun's afraid that Sakura will be like Tao, or whatever happened will repeat itself." Tomoyo stated, the coldness in the air crackled. There was electricity, real lightening.
Meiling nodded miserably, unable to look Tomoyo in the eye.
"So he's decided to run from Sakura, thinking that if he stays away from her, he won't fall in love with her and what has happened will not happen again."
Once again Meiling nodded. "I know Sakura's different, Tomoyo." She begged, now looking at Tomoyo whose face had hardened and shoulders in a rigid and unnatural position. "But Syaoran can't see that. Not now."
Tomoyo stared at Meiling coldly but Meiling held her gaze. Slowly Tomoyo looked away, letting out a big breath of air that she had pent up inside her. "Sakura is different Meiling." She smiled softly. "Because she loves Syaoran Li, and she's willing to do whatever it takes to be with him. Even if everyone else disapproves and tries to stop them, Sakura will still love Li. I know this for the fact of who she is."
The Chinese girl looked at her friend startled. The truth she had spoken was so simple, yet so true. A single ray of light shone through the dark clouds. "Hai, she does."
"We just have to locate Li-kun and convince him that Sakura does love him." Tomoyo finished.
Meiling gave a wry smile. "Tomoyo, you're so pure in a sense that it's wonderful." Her face was grim. "You don't know what horrors we've been in, especially Syaoran. And that's a good thing."
"Mei?"
"Really. It's wonderful. And Sakura. She seems so innocent and pure. I hate to see what she's going through. Long was only a small part of how evil human nature can be." Her voice was harsh against the ears.
"Mei," Tomoyo said, "Arigato."
Her friend looked at her. "What for?"
"For everything. For protecting me a bit longer from the harshness. For being a great friend. I don't know. Just for being there." Tomoyo said with a warm smile.
"I should be thanking you." Meiling told her, giving her a tight hug. "I'm thankful it's you who Eriol has chosen to fall in love with." She whispered in her friend's ear.
Tomoyo blushed and quickly let go of her friend, staring at the floor mumbling embarrassedly. Meiling grinned.
----- Syaoran -----
The sound of my shoes slapping the wet pavement echoed in my ears. The pouring of rain drummed the surface of anything in contact. The thunder rolled above, its anger yet subsided. I could only hear the dull rapid pounding in my chest, filling my whole body and clogged my throat painfully. A sharpening pain shot through me and I doubled over on my knees, panting hard.
What was I doing?
The rain pounded in my ears and made everything in my vision look black and ugly. This was what human nature really was.
I could hear the echoes of those evil words faintly in my ears. Those memories swept over everything I knew and took over me completely. The contorted faces of those who spoke ugly words and false beliefs.
But to think I once believed those words that I thought were wrong now. Back then, it seemed correct, and the only righteous choice to take.
As I closed my eyes, my mind took me back to my memories. She was the first thing that came to mind, her smile brightening the darkness. Those black orbs that had a sparkle of light within. Her glossy ebony hair was always in a tight bun, but when she let it down, she seemed like a goddess in my eyes. But it was her smile that made my heart flutter so. It always melted all the pain and guilt away.
She was innocent then, as I was.
But like everything innocent, we became both impure. Even our love for each other that seemed so pure was twisted in the hands of others. What I would give to see her smile once more and tell her that I love her.
But she would grin that mischievous grin of hers and yell, "stupid!" and hitting me smartly on the head. She would tell me how I was thinking of the impossible. But she would soften and give me a warm smile as she told me that she knew without me telling her, and that she loved me too. And before I could say anything, she would be back to her grinning self and scold me for being so sentimental.
I smiled in spite of myself. Yes, that was what she would do.
God, I missed her, Sera Lin. Or rather, Tao Lan Hua.
-----
"Dr. Waleigh said that Sakura is awake but she needs a little bit more time to herself." Tomoyo said to Meiling as she walked out from Sakura's room. She beckoned her friend to a corner. "She refuses to open her eyes, Mei."
Meiling cursed and looked at the ground. "After I kill Long personally with my bare hands, I am going to kill my favorite, absolutely gushing cousin for running off." She muttered angrily.
"Um, excuse me?"
The two turned around to see a tall graceful girl with dark brown eyes and long black hair that was a bit messy. Her face looked a little pale. Whether it was because of the hospital lights or lack of sleep, it was hard to tell. Her shirt and long skirt were rumpled and unkempt.
"What can I do for you?" Tomoyo asked quickly before Meiling bit the head off the first person to walk by.
"Um, I heard you, uh, mention Sakura and Long." The girl started. "Um, do you mean happen to be talking about Sakura Kinomoto and Lei Long?"
Meiling glared full force. "That's our conversation, lady. You back out of it." She barked sharply. The girl bit her bottom lip and looked down, mumbling a polite apology. The Chinese girl exhaled sharply. "How do you know Sakura?"
The girl looked up sadly. "I don't know her exactly, but I know Lei Long." She quickly continued talking when she saw the Chinese girl glare more furiously. "He's in the hospital right now and he wanted me to come ask how Kinomoto is."
Tomoyo stepped in front of Meiling, to prevent this young girl from further damage. It was quite clear that this was the girl Sakura saw with Long. She was angry with the girl and would have been quite glad to let Meiling do the talking, but the way the girl's eyes looked kind of sad.
"I'm Tomoyo Daidouji, Sakura's friend. This is Meiling Li, another of Sakura's best friend." She introduced carefully.
The girl bowed. "I'm Amaryllis Chen."
"Sakura's quite in a mental shock right now. Apparently she has awoken, but she refuses to open her eyes." Tomoyo told her. She looked away, closing her eyes painfully as to stop the tears from coming. "How is Long?" She asked, but Amaryl could tell that her voice was stuffy.
Amaryl bowed her head. "Gomenasai." She said sincerely. "Li was right to have beaten up Lei. I had thought he had told Kinomoto....." Her voice trailed off. "I apologize for him as well as myself. He would come but he has to lie down."
Meiling smirked. "So my cousin has some use after all." She snorted. "Broken ribs?"
Amaryl smiled shyly. "Two," She admitted. "And a few cuts and a swollen shut eye going purple."
Meiling laughed. "Well, I guess I just have to wait until he's healed to beat him up then." She told the girl. "Now, why are you here?"
"May I speak to Kinomoto? I have some things to tell her." Amaryl said. When she saw the two friends glance at each other, she added, "You don't have to. I understand. But I would appreciate it."
Tomoyo clasped her friend's hand tightly and her friend gave her a grim smile, but nodded. "The doctor said that Sakura needs to rest, so please don't stay too long."
"Arigato Daidouji." Amaryl bowed again.
"Mei, could you please call Hiiragizawa for me? I told him I would call when Sakura woke. You talk to him first and I'll join you once I show Chen in."
Meiling nodded and walked off briskly without another word. Tomoyo smiled and opened the door for Amaryllis.
"Tomoyo, I thought I said," Sakura said before she paused. "Whose with you?"
Amaryllis stared with amazement. The girl before her had her eyes closed yet she could tell exactly who was in the room.
Tomoyo smiled softly. "I know, I know. You wanted to be alone for a while." She walked over to her best friend. "Sakura, this here is Amaryllis Chen. She says she has something to tell you."
Sakura didn't response.
"Will you talk to her?"
Amaryllis bowed her head. "Kinomoto, it's okay if you don't want to talk to me. If I were in your position I would not want to talk to me either."
Sakura listened, a slight Chinese lilt in her quiet voice. A slight ache went through her heart as she was reminded of Shin Hua with her Chinese accent she loved.
"I just came here to apologize for me and Lei." She started.
"Shut up!" Sakura said so harshly that Tomoyo had to place a hand down on her friend's shoulder to calm her. Tears dripped down. "Do you know how much is hurts to see someone you trusted to have betrayed you?"
"Gomennasai." Amaryllis apologized. "I'll be leaving now."
She was at the door, turning the handle when she heard Sakura's voice. "Do you love him? Lei Long?" Amaryl turned to look at the auburn haired girl. "Do you really love him?"
There was no hesitation when the answer came. "Hai, I do."
Tomoyo smiled and gave Sakura's hand a tight squeeze before slipping beside Amaryllis and out the door, clicking it shut quietly.
"There should be plenty of seats around," Sakura told her. "You'll become tired if you stand and talk."
Amaryl smiled softly. She was beginning to see why Lei had fallen in love with her in the first place.
"I'm glad that you love him." She smiled. "How long have you know each other?"
"About a month."
"Enough to make you seem that he's wonderful, isn't it?" Sakura asked with a smile. "Lei's a special guy.... I don't blame him the least for falling in love with you."
"It isn't like that, not really, Kinomoto." Amaryl spoke quietly, looking at her hands. "He didn't mean to trick you. He, he told me that,"
"He told you that he loved me, didn't he?"
"How did,"
"I could tell." She replied simply. "As you might know from Lei, an accident took away my sight for years. I can tell much more of what people are thinking than normal, being deprived of one senses. My other senses are remarkably heightened, especially my hearing."
"So you knew that he wasn't really the one?" Amaryl asked totally surprised. It seemed so..... twisted. That maybe in a sense, it wasn't Lei tricking Sakura, but the other way around.
Sakura laughed. "You make it sound like I was playing with him." She told her. "I wasn't. Not really. The idea lurked behind me that Lei wasn't the one who encouraged me to undergo the operation, but as time passed, how much I enjoyed being with him covered it all."
"That is, until I saw the two of you together." She finished.
"Gomen, that was my fault. I thought he had told you that we were,"
"It hurt. It really did when I saw you with Lei. I've come to trust him completely over the time and him not telling me about you hurt. But it was because of that, did I really awaken to my thoughts and what my heart was really telling me. I found the one who encouraged me and the one whom I truly love."
"Who is he?" Amaryl whispered. "Is it Syaoran Li?"
She saw a reminiscing smile flee across Sakura's face. It came as quickly as it came; yet it was enough to see the pain and sadness that came with it.
"Where is he?"
"He left." Sakura replied tersely.
"What,"
"There can be times where there are situations are unavoidable. I don't know why Syaoran left me, and sometimes I don't think I want to know why. I tell myself that I'll wait for him, but it still hurts, knowing how he promised to watch over me and then leaving me alone." Sakura sighed.
"It's obvious that he cares for you though, Kinomoto. He'll come back." Amaryl pleaded.
Sakura gave her a faint smile. "Arigato, Amaryllis. You have a wonderful name. It means pride, doesn't it?"
"I like to think it's a wonderful flower with a sweet meaning, but it's not." The girl said.
"But the pride of yourself has brought you far, has it not?" The auburn hair girl questioned. "Your pride is neither conceit nor arrogance."
When the other did not respond, Sakura nodded knowingly. "You should go back to Lei or he'll probably break more of his ribs as he tries to run down the hallway, thinking that you left him too."
Amaryl grinned through her wet eyes. She had come here to comfort Sakura, yet it seemed like the other way around. "Arigato," the raven-haired girl whispered before walking out the room quietly. Once Sakura heard the door shut firmly, heavy sobs racked through her, her chest heaving up and down as she gasped for breath. Sakura clutched the side of the table next to the bed tightly, trying to calm herself down.
Oh God. Syaoran, where are you?
----- Syaoran -----
I met her in South Korea when the clan sent me, Meiling, and Eriol in part of a secret agency in hopes of sending important information for North Korea and China, who both was Communist. I understood what I was to do, what I was taught, and the ideals of the Li clan, but when I came to the foreign land of South Korea, I found that I knew nothing.
I met her in the office. I was almost sixteen then. It happened more than two years ago. And she was seventeen. Just a bit older than I. She was the secretary of some important South Korean political figure, whose name I have merely tossed behind. Her name was Tao Lan Hua, but she told me that was only an alias for her work. Her real name was Sera. Sera Lin. We were enemies, we both knew that from the beginning, but I found that I was attracted to her by her grin. I told myself that I was just using her, but as time slowly passes, I knew I was fooling myself. I believed that what the clan taught me was right, and I taught her their ideals. We were naïve, we both were. Sera Lin and I.
To this day, I am forever in Meiling's debt. It was she who found out that the leaders of our unit and those in higher position knew about my relation with this girl. They knew that the things they taught me, I would tell Sera. And Sera had begun to question her authorities. Eriol had tried to protect the both of us, but he was dispatched off to England before he could prevent much from happening. Meiling, perhaps being a girl, was overlooked. She warned me.
But I loved her, I truly did. She was my first piece of physical love. She was my first friend, and more, outside the Li clan. I wasn't going to toss that all away at once. Meiling knew the fact of who I was, and though I knew she disapproved, she supported me.
Yet despite all the precautions I did, that Sera did, that Meiling did, we could not stop the inevitable. When it became apparent that I wasn't telling Sera what the officials were telling me, that I had no more use, they took drastic measures to separate us to prevent further disillusionment in the future Li clan leader.
And what happened next is something I don't to have happen again. They took her away from me, before we had to time to run, and killed her in front of me. I remember her pleads, and mine, unheard in the harsh winds. She didn't cry nor struggle when a military official tied her hands together. Her eyes were full of sadness, but they showed no regret. And when the gun was pointed to her head, Sera gave me one last smile, mouthed something, and was gone.
I would of died that day as well, gone after the girl I loved if it weren't for Meiling. She, hidden, was not captured, and during the moment of chaos, and led me to a secret alley. I just ran after her, numbness floating through my body. All I could think was that I killed her. If I had not met her, fallen in love with her, Sera would not have been killed.
Then I remembered no more.
When I awoke, we were on a ship, heading towards Japan was what Meiling told me. She and Eriol had kept close contact and that Eriol would meet us there.
I never told them how grateful I was for them. I knew Meiling gave up her hard earned position in the Li clan, being the only female in history. Eriol tossed his dreams of learning literature in England.
And I never told Sera how much I loved her. I knew her for only one month, but she made me feel complete. She had told me that she loved me, right before the gunshot rang, yet I was so stupid and furious that I knew none of it until days later.
I closed my eyes, not wanting to think of the horrid memories. My hands shook, taking upon a familiar numbness that was void of all pain, yet at the same time was a pain that contained all pains.
Rain had sound once more. Suddenly. I was once more aware of how cold and wet I was. I was once more aware that I was walking, slowly, not sure of where I was heading.
And then a sweet fragrance of something familiar warmed my whole soul. When I raised my head, I saw the cherry blossom tree, the one in front of Mikomi Sono. It was full bloom, its light pink petals so elegantly portrayed as if etched in perfect detail in a grand painting. I squinted through my wet bangs. I must be imagining things. The rain had gone and instead spring was here. The wind blew of a new life. It was the smell of a new beginning.
Mine.
I knew then what I was going to see next, but part of me could not believe what I was going to see. But when a shadow appeared, out of nowhere, walking towards the cherry blossom tree, I knew with my whole body, that it was Sakura Kinomoto that I was going to see before my eyes.
She was more beautiful than I remember that day. Her silky long auburn hair swayed with the gentle winds, framing her soft features of her face. A rosy hue swept across her cheeks, a small smile showing delight and at the same time hiding secrets. Her eyes were closed in a peaceful, accepting way, but I longed for her to open them to see that sparkle of light in those pools of emerald. Sakura petals danced around her, greeting her. A stray one made its way in front of me and I opened my hand to let it drift into my open palm. It fluttered softly, like a butterfly, and then flew out into sky. I watched it fly, my eyes falling upon Sakura.
She was smiling at me in such a way that she knew what I was doing there. I stared at her. I stared into her eyes, eyes that were filled with spring and hope. I stared at her hard, not wanting her to disappear while wondering why she could see. But I blinked and she was gone with the cherry blossom tree.
A cord of guilt sang through my heart. I closed my eyes, feeling the dull ache sharpen in my chest. Sera Lin. I loved her, promised I would love no other and trust no other. And here I was, trusting Sakura. But did I love her?
The only thing I was certain of was my love Sera Lin and hers in return. Would she let me love another, or would that be betraying her love? And if I did love Sakura, would I have to be separated from her? I couldn't stand the thought of killing another I loved.
Would it be best if I just left Sakura?
She must be furious at me for leaving her. But I'll always watch over her. That's a promise I'll never break. But I can't love her.
The soft vibrating of my cell phone brought me back to the gloomy reality. The rain had ceased, leaving the whole world full of sadness and lost. As I reached for the phone, I frowned, remembering that I had turned off my cell phone.
And when I turned on my cell phone, instead of being greeted with the usual dull settings, a line of small typed words appeared that doesn't appear on cell phones. Under the dim night sky, I read the message with my heart beating fast.
"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."
Sera Lin. I knew then that this was from her. Was she telling me to let go? Then I remembered a line Sera often told me: the one word that frees us, of all the weight and pain of life is love.
I did not learn what was love, and how to love until I met Sera. And I had not loved since she died.
Eriol's voice shook me out of my realization. I looked down at the cell phone that showed that an incoming voice message was in the process of being played. Sera's note was gone.
"Syaoran, where the hell are you? Kinomoto's in the hospital. She's okay, just in shock, but Meiling tells me that she doesn't want to see." There was a short pause as Eriol breathed heavily. "Just call me and we'll think of something okay?"
Sakura. I had to go see her. To show her perhaps there are good things in the world. Sakura had taught me that, with her bright smiles and shining emerald eyes as she saw something beautiful. I had to return that to her.
-----
It was Meiling who found Sakura sobbing uncontrollably. She quickly reached over to comfort her friend, but Sakura had wrapped her arms around herself and turned away. Meiling tried once more but her friend shuddered at her touch. Turned around, Sakura didn't see the hurt in Meiling's eyes as she turned, sitting down in an empty chair beside the bed.
"I know I don't have the right to be saying this, but will you please listen to me?" the Chinese girl asked quietly. Sakura nodded with her head down.
"Syaoran was once part of the renown Li clan in China. He was once even the next leader of the Li clan. But once when he was in South Korea, he fell in love with a girl there and she perhaps loved him back. Yet the two were on opposite sides, she a South Korean while Syaoran was helping the North. Officers knew of this and killed the girl in front of Syaoran."
Meiling paused, eyeing Sakura who was just sitting there, but she noticed that the girl's shoulders weren't so rigid and tense.
"I was there with him, in South Korea. I helped him come to Tomoeda with Eriol. He swore that day, by his name, that he would not trust nor love anyone. Two years have passed since that accident and he began to heal. Working with flowers helped him stand up again the most. And you, Sakura. Especially you."
"He tried so hard to not let you know that it was him who told you to undergo the surgery because he was afraid of trusting, afraid of loving. He didn't want to kill anyone else. Now that you know the truth, Syaoran's afraid. I know you love him. I know he knows you love him. But he does not have that courage to face the fact that he loves you."
Sakura laughed, harshly. "Whose brave in this world? We're all afraid of something in our lives aren't we? The price of friendship, of love, is high. And when our loved ones die, we hurt because we have given a part of ourselves to them and its something we can't take back. Yet those who hurt the most are those who have opened their hearts to love. We're so unbearably vulnerable when we do."
"Sakura.....,"
"I've opened my heart and now I'm as helpless and weak as a newborn starling. I don't even have the strength to open my eyes to face the fears in this world." Sakura smiled bitterly.
Meiling reached over and clasped a hand over her friend's fist, squeezing lightly. "But its those choices in life that make life worth living, isn't it Sakura? Isn't it?"
Sakura turned towards the direction to her friend and smiled, a genuine smile that brightened her face. "Hai, Meiling."
"We'll wait for him together. You, me, and Tomoyo." The Chinese girl said.
Sakura nodded, affirming the promise. "Now that you mention it, where's Tomoyo?"
A sly grin swept across Meiling's face. "She's currently talking on the phone with Eriol. They seem to have a lot to say to each other lately."
Sakura got the hint and grinned as well.
-----
He had just hung up the phone when it rang and Eriol swiftly picked it up before the second ring. Without any unnecessary introduction, he immediately said what was on his mind. "Syaoran, you have five seconds to tell me where you are and what the hell you think you're doing."
A low sheepish chuckle came from the other end that surprised Eriol. Syaoran never chuckled like this and if he did, something big must of changed him. Unless of course, this wasn't Syaoran.
"Syaoran?"
"Yeah, it's me." A familiar voice finally came on the line. "I'm on the way to your house. Or rather, the hospital."
Eriol grunted, showing not the slightest bit of giving in. "And?"
"And I'm thinking of apologizing."
"To?"
"Sakura." When Eriol did not make any comment or any sound to show that he had heard, Syaoran repeated it again.
"What do you want me to say, Syaoran? Do you want my approval? My advice?" His friend demanded. "Kinomoto's not going to just accept any apology, my dear friend. Do you really know what you're doing? She's not Tao."
"Lin. Her name was Sera Lin. Tao Lan Hua was just an alias." Syaoran corrected automatically.
"It doesn't make a difference," Eriol shot back, angrily. "Put yourself in Sakura's position and think it over! Do you really think a simple apology will make everything all bright and happy?"
"No, I don't." Syaoran replied quietly.
"Good." Eriol sighed. "Look, I didn't mean to chew off your head; Meiling's going to have the honor this time. I'm just worried about you buddy. And for Kinomoto. She's not just some girl you find on the streets, Syaoran."
"I know."
There was a slight pause before Eriol spoke. "Then I'm trusting on your instinct for once, Syaoran. I don't want to have to haul you out with the help of Meiling again. I have someone here I don't want to lose. Ever. And I think that goes for you as well."
Syaoran smiled as he turned off his cell phone. The raining had stop long ago and now he looked at his surroundings in a different light. The tears had seemed to wash away the troubles and leaving a new slate to begin again. Syaoran took a deep breath, taking with him the fresh smell of summer. The air was clearer and the dark clouds had finished its mourning, donning a lighter shade of gray instead. Soon, he knew, the sky could clear and everything would be back to its normal pace. Yet he had things to do, people to see before everything in his life could start again.
-----
"Meiling, could you do me a favor?" Sakura asked.
"Sure."
"Could you go down to the first floor, buy two cans of Tropicana orange juice for me?" Her friend asked with a smile.
"Sure, but why two? And the first floor? There should be one down the hall." Meiling asked confused as she stood up, grabbing her purse.
Sakura just grinned. "You'll find out yourself later. If you see Tomoyo, tell her I would like to be alone." If the Chinese girl had any doubts, she didn't voice them out loud. Instead she nodded and quietly went out the door.
Meiling ran into Tomoyo on her way to the elevator and relayed the message. Tomoyo blinked surprised. "Then I better tell the rest of the family if peace is what Sakura really wants. You should hurry and get her that orange juice she wants." Her friend nodded and pressed the down button for the elevator.
She tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator slowly descended down. Even the elevator door opened painstakingly slow. Meiling growled and quickly went to the first vending machine she saw. She had just bent down to retrieve the cans of orange juice when she heard a familiar voice.
"Miss, where can I find Kinomoto Sakura?"
"Kinomoto Sakura? She's on the fifth floor to your right, number 105." A nurse replied.
"Arigato."
Meiling stared.
"Syaoran?" She whispered hoarsely. Syaoran, who was heading towards the elevator, turned around to see his cousin wide eyed with bottles of juice. She slipped a bottle on the ground but made no motion to pick it up.
"Hey," He said with a small smile. "I took my time didn't I?"
"You baka!" She yelled. "Do you know how worried we were?" She said, her voice cracking. Syaoran apologized softly. Meiling sniffled and picked up the stray can.
The two cousins took the elevator up. Once again, Meiling could not stop but sigh and groan under her breath every time the elevator stopped to pick up more people. When the fifth floor finally arrived, she grabbed Syaoran's hand and marched him to Sakura's room number.
"Here." She thrust the cans into Syaoran's hands. "Those are for Sakura. Now get in there!" Meiling demanded.
Tomoyo, upon hearing their voices, came and gasped when she saw Syaoran in front of her. Syaoran turned and gave her a half smile sheepishly.
"Daidouji."
The girl quickly composed herself. "Li-kun." She replied in the same manner as he did. Meiling, in between them, threw her hands up, exasperated at how slow time was moving.
"Okay! Syaoran, there's no time waste! Just get in there, apologize and tell her you love her. Then we can all live happily ever after." Syaoran blinked and Tomoyo grinned at her friend's words.
"She's been waiting Li-kun." Tomoyo said softly. Syaoran looked at her and nodded. The two girls had identical smiles on her faces, both bursting with curiosity while at the same time encouraging.
He turned the handle and went in.
Sakura was sitting, her bed raised into a sitting position. She lifted her head and when she heard the door open and someone enter.
"You can place the orange juice on the table. One of them is for you anyway," Sakura told him. "There should be a dry towel on one of the chairs. You must be cold from the rain."
"It stopped a while ago." He told her, sitting down at the chair nearest to the bed while draping the towel around his neck.
"I noticed." She replied softly. "But I didn't give you that towel for nothing," She turned towards him with a smile, "Syaoran Li."
Syaoran grinned and ruffled his hair with the dry towel. Sakura was feeling for the can on the table with her hand unsuccessfully. He picked it up. "Catch."
Sakura sat back up and Syaoran threw the bottle at her. Her skills weren't the least bit rusty at all. "Arigato." She opened the can and sipped. The fresh, tangy taste of orange juice flowed down her dry throat. Meanwhile Syaoran had picked up his and was drinking from it as well.
"When we first met, this was the orange juice you treated me." She said quietly. Then she looked up and grinned at him. "I've repaid you back. Now we're on even footing."
Syaoran stared at her, surprised, before laughing, a soft low voice that Sakura had missed hearing. "Not quite, Kinomoto." He answered.
"What? The last time I treated you to a drink was at the hamburger shop before my small accident with some punks. I was still one drink behind, which I just gave you." She said with a cute confused smile on her face.
The boy shook his head. "I don't care about drinks, well, at least not right now." He told her. "Remember our talk that day? Didn't I tell you to trust me?"
Sakura nodded, not saying a word. "I still do, Syaoran. I never have doubted my trust for you until you left me. You said you would always watch over me."
"Sakura," He started.
She smiled softly. "Syaoran, what's she like? The girl you fell in love with. What's she like?"
Syaoran studied her, not saying a word.
"I'm not jealous. I want to know who she is. She sounds amazing, to have opened your heart. That's someone I would have wanted to meet."
There was a slight pause before Syaoran cleared his throat. "She was the most amazing woman I have ever met." He said, looking at the juice in his hands. "She was the first friend I ever had beside family, and even not all family members are my friends. It was her smile, playful and daring, that made me feel attracted to her. She was someone who was strong and kind."
Sakura smiled, letting his words sink slowly into her skin. It was obvious Syaoran's love for this girl. He loved her deeply, which meant it hurt more when she left.
"What was her name?"
"Sera Lin." Syaoran replied.
"Sera." Sakura repeated slowly. "She reminds me of Shin Hua, a best friend of mine who died in the accident I told you about." Syaoran made no comment. "The more we love, the more vulnerable we are. Experience tells us that it's true." She repeated the words she had earlier said to Meiling.
"That's the world we live in." His voice harsh. "We can't escape the pain."
"But with pain comes joy. I remember some quote I read somewhere that said something like this: the one word that frees us,"
"Of all the weight and pain of life," Syaoran continued.
"Is love." The two said together. Sakura smiled. "So is it true?" She asked him.
Syaoran gave a small smile. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" Sakura's voice rose.
"Maybe." He affirmed. "It'll always be maybe until you open your eyes." He told her stubbornly. "Your eyes are the part about you that I love the most. Did you know there's a special light that lights up whenever you're delighted?" Syaoran asked her. "It's like the how light shines from beneath the ocean rather than from above."
Sakura listened to his words, her whole body warming as if a blanket was wrapped around her lonely soul. "Syaoran, is there a light now?" She asked.
Syaoran looked up. Looked up into a swirling depth of sparkling emerald. He eased himself and sat on the edge of her bed, not breaking eye contact. "Yes, Sakura there is." He told her huskily as he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. She sighed and moved deeper into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.
When they broke away, Syaoran grinned at her. "Now we're even," he told her, making her smile. "Now move over." Sakura obediently moved over and Syaoran sat close to her.
"You're wet," She complained. Syaoran grinned, but he relented and took off his shirt, draping it over the back of the chair to dry.
"Now lower the bed will you? What's a bed for if I can't sleep in it?"
"Self centered," Sakura snorted as she lowered the bed.
"Lovable, aren't I?" Syaoran asked as he crawled back to the spot next to Sakura. Sakura rolled her eyes but smiled. He yawned. "Now go to sleep. Sweet dreams." With that he promptly closed his eyes and fell to sleep with one of his arms wrapped around Sakura tightly.
Sakura observed him as she brushed a stray hair from his forehead. A small content smile lingered on his face and the rhythmic breathing showed that he was sleeping comfortably. She leaned over a bit and gave him a kiss on the forehead which made Syaoran smile wider and his arm wrap around her more comfortably. Sakura sighed happily and laid her head on his chest, the two fitting together like two puzzle pieces.
And at this sweet, loving moment, Tomoyo and Meiling, who were looking through a small, uncovered corner in the window, sighed like how they do in all romance movies and said in unison, "kawaii!"
-----
To love is an act of courage. Indeed, when we do love or care for someone, we're opening our hearts and thus making ourselves vulnerable. Like Sakura said, the price of love is high, especially how are heart aches when our loved ones leave. Yet it's the choice of loving, instead of hating, that makes us feel alive.
"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
"Give all to love; obey thy heart."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."
Sophocles
-----
So, how was it? I'm planning to have a short epilogue as an individual chapter. I'm open to any suggestions for the epilogue here. I have some in mind, but it would be wonderful to hear your opinions.
I don't think this one is one of my best chapters, but I've put my whole effort into this chapter. I admit, it has taken me quite a while to accomplish this. Also, the whole historical background with South and North Korea is nothing real. I just decided to use Korea since the two are quite different and near China.
There was a lot of thinking rather than action (I hope it wasn't boring) due to lots of explanation on Syaoran's behalf. If you still have any questions or if anywhere is unclear, tell me in your review or send me an email and I'll be happy to reply.
My last thing I want to mention is how much I owe all of you for this story. It's hundred times better than I had imagined it to be, and that's the effort of you all that have read this. Once again, thank you!
Rainbow Dreamer/ Iris Dreamer.