Fragilis Pondera (Fragile Balance)

Part III: Gemstones

Topaz : Malik

/I hate you… you tricked me… you lied to me./

//You fooled yourself, my pretty, precious Pretty Other.

Perfect by nature, icon of self-indulgence.
Just what we all need, more lies about a world…
That never was and never will be.

/I can't… I don't… how could you…/

//Shimmer-shimmer tears… ?//

/Yes ! YES ! Tears ! Is that what you wanted ?! FINE, you've made me CRY, I hope you're HAPPY !! Was this what you wanted to see ? Was it ?! WAS IT ?!/

//…//

/Silence. Yeah. Coward./

//What do you want me to say, Pretty Other ?//

/Nothing. Go away. I never want to be near you again./

//Pretty Other -- //

/DON"T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN !!/

//Let me explain, precious, precious Pretty Other…//

Have you no shame, don't you see me ?
You know, you've got everybody fooled.

/Thought you were so clever, didn't you… so clever, damn you, I hate you, I loathe you./

//No, you don't.

/Don't you dare tell me how I feel ! You're not… you're just a… a… thing, A THING, do you hear me, some twisted creature, some monster ! I want nothing to do with you !/

//You don't have a choice ! I am you, my Pretty Other, for all you're screaming and crying and you can strike me all you want and I'm still here… you can't lock me away… you can't destroy me… I am you… and you are me… don't you remember, my Pretty Other ? Let me show you…//

/No, no…/

//Remember, Pretty Other ? Look… there we are… in memories… partners… what's the word the Pharaoh always uses… aibous… yes… don't you remember, Pretty Other ? We're the same, exactly the same…//

Look, here you come now, bow down and stare in wonder.
Oh, how we love you, no flaws when you're pretending.
But now I know you never were and never will be.

/I hate you. If that is the only thing I will ever remember, I'll be content. I hate you, and I'll always hate you. That is what you are… Hate. Fear. Pain. Fury. That's all you'll ever be. You're not like the others. You're not like me. You're nothing like me./

//You're bound to me and I to you.

/I will break that bond./

//Only if you die, my precious Pretty Other, only then.

/Then I will !/

//You won't !//

/You WON'T control me anymore ! You can't, you can't, I won't let you, I'm not your Other, I'm not !/

//I wouldn't let you die, my Pretty Other, because I care for you.

/Care ?! You.. you… no, you don't, you can't, Creature, yami-dark, you twisted thing, you don't know --/

//You showed me.

/No, no, STOP. Go away. Leave me alone./

You don't know how you betrayed me.
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.

//Little-little, precious, Pretty Other.

/No… please, no./

//Have I hurt you ?//

/I... I… what ?/

//Have I ? Have I ever hurt you or Isis-sister, or anyone important to you, anyone who would give you tears, have I, my Pretty Other ?//

/… No…/

//Why not ?//

/I… I…/

//More tears, Pretty Other… truth brings tears ?//

Without the mask, where will you hide ?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lies ?

/They'll take you… they'll pull you away from me…/

//They only think they can. You said it yourself, my Pretty Other, I'm different. I'm bound to you. They can't take me away. You won't let them.

/You need me./

//As you need me.

I know the truth now,
I know who you are.
And I don't love you anymore.

/Why… why… you could have… told me…/

//Precious Pretty Other, giving you tears to avoid giving you tears makes no sense, even to me.

/I hate it when you make sense… you're not supposed to make sense./

//No ?//

/No./

//Anything for precious, Pretty Other.

It never was and never will be,
You don't know how you betrayed me,
And somehow you've got everybody fooled.

/I… I defended you, you know./

//I know…//

/I told them… I was so stupid. Such a fool. Naïve fool./

//Innocent Pretty Other.

/Me, innocent ?! Hardly./

//Silly Pretty Other, untainted little Other, I remember. Pretty Other's Other remembers, yes, remember, I remember. Soft-meek, shining spring gold, yes, Pretty Other's Other remembers, always remember, cherish memory, precious Pretty Other all gleaming soft spring gold, only one that colour, not like other colours, Pretty Other's Other remembers other colours, yes-yes --//

/What… wait, again ?/

It never was and never will be.
You're not real and you can't save me.

//Precious Pretty Other, I... I... can't…//

/You don't control it, do you ?/

//…No…//

/So you didn't lie to me./

//You said I was a lie born of hatred.//

/Yeah. I know./

//Pretty Other ?//

/Yeah ?/

And somehow now you're everybody's fool.

//Bin en khet ?//

/Nai, key-i ka. Nai./

"Everybody's Fool" – Evanescence

Bin en khet ? – Are we evil things ?
Nai, key-i ka. Nai. – No, my other soul, no.