Chapter 4:
Facing Death
Aysel soon fell asleep and people were filtering out of the lobby. Soon it was just us and another couple across the room. The chairs were large enough for two people to sit comfortably and for Aysel to take a little nap. Kevin and I were sitting by one another in these over-large chairs, hands around the others waist as I rested my head on his shoulder.
"You should really try to get some sleep you know," he said to me.
"You should really try to remember that as long as a family member is hurt, I won't," I said in reply. He sighed.
"You are so difficult sometimes."
"Yeah? Got a problem with it?" He laughed at this. My butt was aching dully as it fell asleep. I sat up more and turned to face him. "Do you think she'll be okay? There wasn't any blood or anything. just a really low pulse. Maybe she was just knocked out." But as these words spilled out, I realized how ridiculous it sounded. Kevin's expression seemed to agree.
"If she had just been knocked out, we'd all be out of here by now." I said what we were both thinking. His hand rose up and curled around my neck.
"You're beautiful, you know," he said, his breath warm on my face. He'd liked me since we'd met but I'd resisted. But now, when I needed his comfort, I fell into his arms and it pleased him. I closed my eyes. He moved in closer. His soft lips were placed upon mine.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said an embarrassed voice. "I didn't mean to interrupt." We both pulled away to see a nurse hardly older than us. she looked to be about 15 or 16 and was very pink with embarrassment.
"Oh, no, go ahead," I said.
"Well, Laramia Celestia is doing slightly better now. Her breathing and pulse have stabilized."
"That's great and all, but what's the bad news?"
"There's no evidence to show that she had contact with anything prior but she's in a coma. I'm sorry." I took a breath to try to steady myself.
"May I see her?" I asked.
"Certainly. She may even hear what you say if you speak to her." I turned to Kevin again.
"You don't mind staying here with Aysel so you?"
"No, go ahead," he said with a nod toward I.C. I kissed his cheek and whispered thank you before leaving with the nurse.
I walked through the doors into the Intensive Care Unit and passed many rooms with a large Plexiglas window in the wall so that the rooms could be viewed from the hall. I tore my eyes from these for the people who occupied the rooms behind them had a pain beyond what I could imagine. I had seen a few of the room already; they were filled with equipment and the person was hooked up to each one. I prayed that my mother looked nothing like that.
"Here you are," said the doctor, holding open a door for me. I walked in and saw a room identical to all the others. She had an IV hooked up to her wrist; there was a constant, rhythmic beeping from her heart rate monitor. I walked over to the chair on the left side of the bed. I sat on the very edge for a moment before I did anything. The nurse had already left and I saw people walking down the hall, some crying, others peering in as though they liked to see people in pain and still more walking like me, eyes downcast and refusing to watch the pain surrounding them. I took my mother's hand in my own two and kissed the back of it before placing her palm on my cheek.
"You know, I didn't mean any of that stuff I said. I'm sorry I walked out on you like that. and about the necklace," I choked out, my voice thick with tears. "I'll try to be strong," my vision was blurring, "I won't let Aysel see me cry," I was now fighting back the tears. "I'll make sure to be there for Daddy. and I know I told Aysel to not give up hope," a solitary tear trickled down my cheek. "But Mommy, this doesn't look promising." I removed her hand and placed it back on the bed. "I love you, you know. I love more than the moon loves the stars." Tears fell steadily now as I mentioned what she always told me. When I was upset or needed her console, she'd always say, 'I love you more than the moon loves the stars. and that's all you need.'
"I'll try to change friends so I won't disgrace us again; for you. I'll do everything I can to honor you and your-" Nausea was overwhelming me. I pushed away from the bed, the chair toppled over by the time I'd grabbed the doorknob. I threw it open, but couldn't hold it in anymore; I puked all over the floor outside the door as the nurse walked by.
"I'm sorry," I said wiping my mouth my hand. "I-I-I just-"
"I know," said the nurse. "I lost my sister like that and I too got sick." I could only nod. "I'll get this cleaned up in a jiffy, and then your sister can come back and say her dues."
"Thanks," I said.
"Oh, and I didn't mean to break up that kiss with you two."
"It's okay, it's not that big of a deal."
"Ok." She turned to leave then turned back to me saying, "I thought you might want this." She dug in the pocket on the front of her nurse dress. She has Mom's necklace! I thought, my spirits soaring. Instead, she pulled out a toothbrush in a plastic wrapping.
"Thanks," I said pocketing it. "Did you by any chance find jewelry with her?"
"Actually, yes," she said, digging through her pocket again. "Here," she extracted a small plastic bag with assorted jewelry in it. "Well, I gotta get this cleaned up." We both went in our opposite directions.
Back in the lobby, Aysel was awake but still laying down, staring off with a glazed look on her face. I motioned to the bathroom and Kevin gave a slight nod before I disappeared into it.
Facing Death
Aysel soon fell asleep and people were filtering out of the lobby. Soon it was just us and another couple across the room. The chairs were large enough for two people to sit comfortably and for Aysel to take a little nap. Kevin and I were sitting by one another in these over-large chairs, hands around the others waist as I rested my head on his shoulder.
"You should really try to get some sleep you know," he said to me.
"You should really try to remember that as long as a family member is hurt, I won't," I said in reply. He sighed.
"You are so difficult sometimes."
"Yeah? Got a problem with it?" He laughed at this. My butt was aching dully as it fell asleep. I sat up more and turned to face him. "Do you think she'll be okay? There wasn't any blood or anything. just a really low pulse. Maybe she was just knocked out." But as these words spilled out, I realized how ridiculous it sounded. Kevin's expression seemed to agree.
"If she had just been knocked out, we'd all be out of here by now." I said what we were both thinking. His hand rose up and curled around my neck.
"You're beautiful, you know," he said, his breath warm on my face. He'd liked me since we'd met but I'd resisted. But now, when I needed his comfort, I fell into his arms and it pleased him. I closed my eyes. He moved in closer. His soft lips were placed upon mine.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said an embarrassed voice. "I didn't mean to interrupt." We both pulled away to see a nurse hardly older than us. she looked to be about 15 or 16 and was very pink with embarrassment.
"Oh, no, go ahead," I said.
"Well, Laramia Celestia is doing slightly better now. Her breathing and pulse have stabilized."
"That's great and all, but what's the bad news?"
"There's no evidence to show that she had contact with anything prior but she's in a coma. I'm sorry." I took a breath to try to steady myself.
"May I see her?" I asked.
"Certainly. She may even hear what you say if you speak to her." I turned to Kevin again.
"You don't mind staying here with Aysel so you?"
"No, go ahead," he said with a nod toward I.C. I kissed his cheek and whispered thank you before leaving with the nurse.
I walked through the doors into the Intensive Care Unit and passed many rooms with a large Plexiglas window in the wall so that the rooms could be viewed from the hall. I tore my eyes from these for the people who occupied the rooms behind them had a pain beyond what I could imagine. I had seen a few of the room already; they were filled with equipment and the person was hooked up to each one. I prayed that my mother looked nothing like that.
"Here you are," said the doctor, holding open a door for me. I walked in and saw a room identical to all the others. She had an IV hooked up to her wrist; there was a constant, rhythmic beeping from her heart rate monitor. I walked over to the chair on the left side of the bed. I sat on the very edge for a moment before I did anything. The nurse had already left and I saw people walking down the hall, some crying, others peering in as though they liked to see people in pain and still more walking like me, eyes downcast and refusing to watch the pain surrounding them. I took my mother's hand in my own two and kissed the back of it before placing her palm on my cheek.
"You know, I didn't mean any of that stuff I said. I'm sorry I walked out on you like that. and about the necklace," I choked out, my voice thick with tears. "I'll try to be strong," my vision was blurring, "I won't let Aysel see me cry," I was now fighting back the tears. "I'll make sure to be there for Daddy. and I know I told Aysel to not give up hope," a solitary tear trickled down my cheek. "But Mommy, this doesn't look promising." I removed her hand and placed it back on the bed. "I love you, you know. I love more than the moon loves the stars." Tears fell steadily now as I mentioned what she always told me. When I was upset or needed her console, she'd always say, 'I love you more than the moon loves the stars. and that's all you need.'
"I'll try to change friends so I won't disgrace us again; for you. I'll do everything I can to honor you and your-" Nausea was overwhelming me. I pushed away from the bed, the chair toppled over by the time I'd grabbed the doorknob. I threw it open, but couldn't hold it in anymore; I puked all over the floor outside the door as the nurse walked by.
"I'm sorry," I said wiping my mouth my hand. "I-I-I just-"
"I know," said the nurse. "I lost my sister like that and I too got sick." I could only nod. "I'll get this cleaned up in a jiffy, and then your sister can come back and say her dues."
"Thanks," I said.
"Oh, and I didn't mean to break up that kiss with you two."
"It's okay, it's not that big of a deal."
"Ok." She turned to leave then turned back to me saying, "I thought you might want this." She dug in the pocket on the front of her nurse dress. She has Mom's necklace! I thought, my spirits soaring. Instead, she pulled out a toothbrush in a plastic wrapping.
"Thanks," I said pocketing it. "Did you by any chance find jewelry with her?"
"Actually, yes," she said, digging through her pocket again. "Here," she extracted a small plastic bag with assorted jewelry in it. "Well, I gotta get this cleaned up." We both went in our opposite directions.
Back in the lobby, Aysel was awake but still laying down, staring off with a glazed look on her face. I motioned to the bathroom and Kevin gave a slight nod before I disappeared into it.