Chapter 6:
A Thread for Aysel
"Sohalia," Kevin whispered in my ear. "Look!" I turned my head away from Kevin's chest and looked into the room. A nurse was beckoning my father out and it looked as though Aysel were falling asleep.
"I thought I'd tell all of you," the nurse said when she and my father had emerged from the room. "Laramia isn't in a very good condition. At any moment her heart could just go. We'll do our best but the chances of her coming out of the coma are slim." I gasped, shocked. This nurse was supposed to comfort us and tell us that she'd come out okay and we'd all live happily ever after. She wasn't supposed to tell us my mother would probably die! The nurse continued though, "I'm sorry. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I just ask you not to tell the child," she said, looking in at Aysel. "She still thinks her Mom will be okay but it'd crush her if she knew."
I found my voice. "So we're supposed to encourage her to believe that Mom's just gonna sit up and be fine?!" I pushed my way out of Kevin's arms and yelled at the nurse, amazed that she was expecting us to do this. "My mom's not gonna be fine," I said, my voice low and dangerous. "She's probably going to die and you're expecting me to tell Aysel that Mom's just peachy!?" I spat out the last word. The nurse looked harassed as she opened her mouth to speak. But the voice that came out wasn't her sickeningly sweet voice.
"You have no idea," my father's voice spoke, "how hard it'd be on Aysel to find out that her mother is dying." His voice was low and he sounded old. "She'll find out soon enough and I want her hope to be there until then. Her mother is all she had and if she loses her hope one second too soon, we'll lose her." I stared at my father in disbelief. Aysel would not fall apart if Mommy died. She still had Daddy. and me.
"Daddy," I said, trying to sound convincing. "She has us! She deserves to know!"
"Sohalia, princess," my father said, cupping my head in his hands. "You don't understand. Put yourself in Aysel's position. Think of all you'd miss without a mother." He released me.
"But Daddy-"
"No, Sohalia." He said, temper flaring. "She doesn't need to know! She needs the hope. It's all she has; that thread of hope. If you cut it before it's time, she'll be crushed. It'll be hard enough on her. she's only 10! Keep her hoping. Don't let her stop." A tear trickled down his cheek and he muttered, "Excuse me," before moving down the hall toward the bathrooms.
"You know he's right," Kevin said, standing by the nurse. She nodded. I nodded as well and swallowed, looking into the room beside us.
"But maybe I don't want to believe it yet," I said.
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A warm autumn breeze floated in on the rays of sunlight seeping into the room. They kissed my face, dancing on my eyelids. I could feel myself waking up but I stayed in partial consciousness. I wanted to open my eyes and be in my own room; the previous night was just a nightmare. I knew better though. This bed wasn't mine and the breeze and sun weren't mine and the way the pillow smelled wasn't mine. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the window open directly across from me. The breeze was softly moving the curtains, and the warm sun peeped just out of sight. The pillow was firm and soft and had a comforting, warm smell about it. I closed my eyes again and figured it must be about noon. My face felt taut from the places the tears had been. I began to bury my face into the pillow.
A hand rested softly on my head. I jumped as I felt it. My 'pillow' hadn't been a pillow at all but Kevin's chest.
I sat completely up and looked at him. My head throbbed like there was no tomorrow and I squinted my eyes against the pain. Rubbing my forehead with one hand, a steady flow of events was strung back into my mind. The house burning down, the hospital, Aysel, Daddy. Kevin, getting in a cab, driving back to Kevin's house, me avoiding the burnt rubble of our home across the street. As the pain slowly receded, I looked at Kevin, who was smiling. I hated myself at that moment as I realized how many times I'd acted cruelly to him. And here he was, holding me when I needed him most. He and I both knew he didn't have to after the way I had treated him but we both also knew that he had a soft spot that wouldn't ever let him hurt what he loved. I smiled back and tried sitting cross-legged. My legs got tangled in the sheets and as I tried to wrestle them loose, I fell backwards, off the side of the bed. I hit the floor with a thud and became even more tangled in the sheets. Kevin, now laughing, came and helped untangle me. He stood over me, looking down before he spoke.
"Your eyes changed, Sohalia." He grabbed my hand and pulled my up to a standing position. He wasn't much taller than me; just enough for me to have to tilt my head back to look at him. I managed to smile weakly. He put his finger under my chin and bent down, eyes half closed, preparing for the kiss. I momentarily panicked. No, I thought desperately. You can't kiss me now. I'm in too much pain. But the other side of my brain worked as well. It'd make some pain go away if you knew he'd be there for you.
I could once again feel his breath on my face as I desperately decided whether or not to turn away. His lips were almost upon mine. It was so tempting.
I turned my head to the side though and he laid a soft kiss on my cheek instead.
"I'm sorry." I said, as I pulled away from him. "Just not now."
I turned my back to him so I wouldn't have to see his face. I walked toward the door and looked back into the room. "Sorry," I managed to whisper before leaving the room. I had only been in Kevin's house once but I knew the way around. I walked down the hall a short distance and came to the bathroom.
Closing the door behind me, I crossed the room and turned on the water in the glass shower. I had a feeling that it wouldn't take long for it to become warm so I undressed quickly and stepped in. Sure enough it was pretty hot but I didn't feel like making it cooler. I stood under the water for a moment, letting the water soak my hair and cascade down my body. Grabbing the shampoo bottle, I lathered it in my hands and massaged it in my hair. Why not? I thought as the shampoo foamed all over my hands. Why didn't I let him? I like him and it's obvious he likes me. My stomach was doing flip-flops as I washed off my hands and grabbed a sponge. I had bathed so many times in this same order, I became unaware of what I was doing and my thoughts became stronger. Kevin, I thought silently, feeling a pang of guilt. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know I did. My eyes welled with tears as I thought of pain and hurt. True, Kevin didn't hurt near as much as I did, but he'd only been trying to help. Idiot!! I silently scolded myself. You passed up Kevin.
I let the tears fall freely now as I stood under the water. It warmed every bit of me as I watched the soap slide off my body and spill into the drain. The water and tears mingled both hot and both sliding down my face. After a moment of absentmindedly staring at the drain in the shower, I realized that I didn't need to cry anymore. The tears slowly stopped and soon it was just hot water on my face.
I turned off the water, and squeezed as much water out of my hair as I could. I stepped out of the steamy sauna and wrapped a towel securely around my body. There was a gentle rasp on the door and a soft call.
"Are you decent?" Kevin called from the other side of the door. I couldn't help but smile.
"Yes," I said, the smile surging into my voice. I opened the door all the way and he stepped back, surprised. Color rose in his cheeks.
"Sorry," he said. "You know, about this and. that," he nodded down the hall toward his room.
"It's okay. I'm sorry too," I said and for a moment I stood just gazing into his eyes. His gaze was strong and it locked me in. When he finally looked away from me, I was jolted back to realization and asked, "What did you need?"
He smirked slightly before answering. "Well, honestly, I was curious what you looked like in a towel." I rolled my eyes and let out a short laugh. "I'm kidding," he said. "Mom sent me up with a toothbrush." He held it out to me and I took it. I took it but he grabbed my hand.
"Sohalia, I know this is an odd time," he said with a sense of odd urgency in his voice, "but." he faltered slightly, "will you be my girlfriend?"
~*~*~ A/N: Ah, now Sohalia is faced with yet another decision. should she say yes? Will she say the right choice? Or is there a right choice? In all the choices you make in life, are there really right and wrong? At the end of your life will someone scrutinize the test and mark X's? With that in mind, I seriously hope to keep you guys snared. Sohalia will once again have to make a choice. Will she choose right or wrong? You'll soon find out. But the true question is, can she escape this powerful beast within who's screaming to its fullest now?
I understand that that made hardly any sense to any of you but it makes sense with the story. I'll repost this A/N at the end of the chapters where that comes into place. I hope I'm not torturing you guys too much and thank you so much for all the reviews. Oh, and for you worried people out there, I promise that at some point Ms. Sohalia will meet the HP characters. So, sit back, relax and just send me reviews of what you really think. :D
A Thread for Aysel
"Sohalia," Kevin whispered in my ear. "Look!" I turned my head away from Kevin's chest and looked into the room. A nurse was beckoning my father out and it looked as though Aysel were falling asleep.
"I thought I'd tell all of you," the nurse said when she and my father had emerged from the room. "Laramia isn't in a very good condition. At any moment her heart could just go. We'll do our best but the chances of her coming out of the coma are slim." I gasped, shocked. This nurse was supposed to comfort us and tell us that she'd come out okay and we'd all live happily ever after. She wasn't supposed to tell us my mother would probably die! The nurse continued though, "I'm sorry. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I just ask you not to tell the child," she said, looking in at Aysel. "She still thinks her Mom will be okay but it'd crush her if she knew."
I found my voice. "So we're supposed to encourage her to believe that Mom's just gonna sit up and be fine?!" I pushed my way out of Kevin's arms and yelled at the nurse, amazed that she was expecting us to do this. "My mom's not gonna be fine," I said, my voice low and dangerous. "She's probably going to die and you're expecting me to tell Aysel that Mom's just peachy!?" I spat out the last word. The nurse looked harassed as she opened her mouth to speak. But the voice that came out wasn't her sickeningly sweet voice.
"You have no idea," my father's voice spoke, "how hard it'd be on Aysel to find out that her mother is dying." His voice was low and he sounded old. "She'll find out soon enough and I want her hope to be there until then. Her mother is all she had and if she loses her hope one second too soon, we'll lose her." I stared at my father in disbelief. Aysel would not fall apart if Mommy died. She still had Daddy. and me.
"Daddy," I said, trying to sound convincing. "She has us! She deserves to know!"
"Sohalia, princess," my father said, cupping my head in his hands. "You don't understand. Put yourself in Aysel's position. Think of all you'd miss without a mother." He released me.
"But Daddy-"
"No, Sohalia." He said, temper flaring. "She doesn't need to know! She needs the hope. It's all she has; that thread of hope. If you cut it before it's time, she'll be crushed. It'll be hard enough on her. she's only 10! Keep her hoping. Don't let her stop." A tear trickled down his cheek and he muttered, "Excuse me," before moving down the hall toward the bathrooms.
"You know he's right," Kevin said, standing by the nurse. She nodded. I nodded as well and swallowed, looking into the room beside us.
"But maybe I don't want to believe it yet," I said.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A warm autumn breeze floated in on the rays of sunlight seeping into the room. They kissed my face, dancing on my eyelids. I could feel myself waking up but I stayed in partial consciousness. I wanted to open my eyes and be in my own room; the previous night was just a nightmare. I knew better though. This bed wasn't mine and the breeze and sun weren't mine and the way the pillow smelled wasn't mine. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the window open directly across from me. The breeze was softly moving the curtains, and the warm sun peeped just out of sight. The pillow was firm and soft and had a comforting, warm smell about it. I closed my eyes again and figured it must be about noon. My face felt taut from the places the tears had been. I began to bury my face into the pillow.
A hand rested softly on my head. I jumped as I felt it. My 'pillow' hadn't been a pillow at all but Kevin's chest.
I sat completely up and looked at him. My head throbbed like there was no tomorrow and I squinted my eyes against the pain. Rubbing my forehead with one hand, a steady flow of events was strung back into my mind. The house burning down, the hospital, Aysel, Daddy. Kevin, getting in a cab, driving back to Kevin's house, me avoiding the burnt rubble of our home across the street. As the pain slowly receded, I looked at Kevin, who was smiling. I hated myself at that moment as I realized how many times I'd acted cruelly to him. And here he was, holding me when I needed him most. He and I both knew he didn't have to after the way I had treated him but we both also knew that he had a soft spot that wouldn't ever let him hurt what he loved. I smiled back and tried sitting cross-legged. My legs got tangled in the sheets and as I tried to wrestle them loose, I fell backwards, off the side of the bed. I hit the floor with a thud and became even more tangled in the sheets. Kevin, now laughing, came and helped untangle me. He stood over me, looking down before he spoke.
"Your eyes changed, Sohalia." He grabbed my hand and pulled my up to a standing position. He wasn't much taller than me; just enough for me to have to tilt my head back to look at him. I managed to smile weakly. He put his finger under my chin and bent down, eyes half closed, preparing for the kiss. I momentarily panicked. No, I thought desperately. You can't kiss me now. I'm in too much pain. But the other side of my brain worked as well. It'd make some pain go away if you knew he'd be there for you.
I could once again feel his breath on my face as I desperately decided whether or not to turn away. His lips were almost upon mine. It was so tempting.
I turned my head to the side though and he laid a soft kiss on my cheek instead.
"I'm sorry." I said, as I pulled away from him. "Just not now."
I turned my back to him so I wouldn't have to see his face. I walked toward the door and looked back into the room. "Sorry," I managed to whisper before leaving the room. I had only been in Kevin's house once but I knew the way around. I walked down the hall a short distance and came to the bathroom.
Closing the door behind me, I crossed the room and turned on the water in the glass shower. I had a feeling that it wouldn't take long for it to become warm so I undressed quickly and stepped in. Sure enough it was pretty hot but I didn't feel like making it cooler. I stood under the water for a moment, letting the water soak my hair and cascade down my body. Grabbing the shampoo bottle, I lathered it in my hands and massaged it in my hair. Why not? I thought as the shampoo foamed all over my hands. Why didn't I let him? I like him and it's obvious he likes me. My stomach was doing flip-flops as I washed off my hands and grabbed a sponge. I had bathed so many times in this same order, I became unaware of what I was doing and my thoughts became stronger. Kevin, I thought silently, feeling a pang of guilt. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know I did. My eyes welled with tears as I thought of pain and hurt. True, Kevin didn't hurt near as much as I did, but he'd only been trying to help. Idiot!! I silently scolded myself. You passed up Kevin.
I let the tears fall freely now as I stood under the water. It warmed every bit of me as I watched the soap slide off my body and spill into the drain. The water and tears mingled both hot and both sliding down my face. After a moment of absentmindedly staring at the drain in the shower, I realized that I didn't need to cry anymore. The tears slowly stopped and soon it was just hot water on my face.
I turned off the water, and squeezed as much water out of my hair as I could. I stepped out of the steamy sauna and wrapped a towel securely around my body. There was a gentle rasp on the door and a soft call.
"Are you decent?" Kevin called from the other side of the door. I couldn't help but smile.
"Yes," I said, the smile surging into my voice. I opened the door all the way and he stepped back, surprised. Color rose in his cheeks.
"Sorry," he said. "You know, about this and. that," he nodded down the hall toward his room.
"It's okay. I'm sorry too," I said and for a moment I stood just gazing into his eyes. His gaze was strong and it locked me in. When he finally looked away from me, I was jolted back to realization and asked, "What did you need?"
He smirked slightly before answering. "Well, honestly, I was curious what you looked like in a towel." I rolled my eyes and let out a short laugh. "I'm kidding," he said. "Mom sent me up with a toothbrush." He held it out to me and I took it. I took it but he grabbed my hand.
"Sohalia, I know this is an odd time," he said with a sense of odd urgency in his voice, "but." he faltered slightly, "will you be my girlfriend?"
~*~*~ A/N: Ah, now Sohalia is faced with yet another decision. should she say yes? Will she say the right choice? Or is there a right choice? In all the choices you make in life, are there really right and wrong? At the end of your life will someone scrutinize the test and mark X's? With that in mind, I seriously hope to keep you guys snared. Sohalia will once again have to make a choice. Will she choose right or wrong? You'll soon find out. But the true question is, can she escape this powerful beast within who's screaming to its fullest now?
I understand that that made hardly any sense to any of you but it makes sense with the story. I'll repost this A/N at the end of the chapters where that comes into place. I hope I'm not torturing you guys too much and thank you so much for all the reviews. Oh, and for you worried people out there, I promise that at some point Ms. Sohalia will meet the HP characters. So, sit back, relax and just send me reviews of what you really think. :D