Author's Note: Another day, another update. This story is going to wrap up in the next couple of chapters, but never fear: my muse is in overdrive so there should be a brand new story starting soon! And heck, I may even finish some existing ones! As always, I own nothing - well, nothing CSI related anyways.
* * *
Greg watched as the buildings and trees flew past them as they rushed to the hospital. It was the first time he was really alone with his thoughts. He had been tormented for the last couple of days by visions of Sara lying in the hospital bed. Knowing that she was waking up and that her prognosis was good did much to ease his mind. He also felt immensely relieved that Warrick, Catherine and Brass knew the truth about what had happened. Maybe he hadn't intended for everything to be revealed this way but it seemed to work to his benefit. They had been understanding, not judgmental. He felt lucky that they were so supportive. Yet-
Why weren't they supportive earlier?
The question that was nagging in the back of his mind echoed in his head. It was something that he had been trying to suppress, but the more he tried to ignore it, the more overwhelming the thought became. It was the only real piece of unresolved conflict in his mind. He was struggling to understand how they could pretend that they had never treated him the way they had when they thought that he was the driver. He understood their anger and their disappointment, he really did. Yet it pained him to think that they were so quick to accept that he was indeed the one driving. After all, he thought, they had told him countless times that it was so unlike him to be irresponsible. Why then did they still so willingly accept that he had been the one at fault? If they truly believed that he was the upstanding, responsible individual that they said he was, why didn't they press the issue further? They made up their minds in an instant and it took irrefutable proof to allow them to see the truth.
Of course, they hadn't all been that way. Warrick had stuck by him. It was almost ironic to Greg that the one person he thought would have been most critical turned out to be his only supporter. He had figured that Warrick would have looked at him as the ultimate screw up. After all, he was Grissom's little protégé. At least it seemed that way to Greg. Warrick was trying to mold himself in Grissom's image and he should have lashed out at Greg the same way Grissom had. Yet he hadn't. Instead he had given Greg overwhelming support. He hadn't given up on Greg, even when Greg had given up himself.
No, Warrick had been the one true friend to Greg since the accident. It was funny that the rest of them weren't. Greg hadn't been completely surprised by Grissom's outburst, though the physicality of it had shocked him. He knew that Grissom had an affection for Sara that transcended the boundaries of friendship. Greg couldn't quite define their relationship and he doubted that even Grissom and Sara were able to explain the bond they had. But there was clearly something incredibly powerful between them. Greg wasn't stunned then when Grissom had lashed out. What had been shocking was the ferocity of his words. He had said things to Greg that had hurt him to the core. And the nagging little voice in his head was taunting him about it.
How long has he been waiting to say those things to you?
Greg had a sneaking suspicion that those words were not merely a "heat of the moment" type of response. He had a feeling that Grissom had unleashed months, maybe even years of pent up emotion upon him under the guise of duress. Of course Grissom would deny it; he would probably even apologize for what he said. Greg could imagine the conversation now.
"Greg, I'm so sorry, I -"
"Forget it"
"No, I can't forget it, and neither should you. Greg, when I said those things, I said them out of anger. You know I have nothing but respect for you. You are part of this team and we couldn't stand to lose you. I was upset and I was worried. You have to know that there was not an ounce of truth or validity to any of those things I said yesterday. Please, accept my apology?"
And I will, thought Greg bitterly. Not because I believe it, but because it is what everyone will be expecting me to do. But that won't change what's been said.
While Grissom's reaction had at least been anticipated, Greg had been floored by Nick's lack of support. True, Nick had flown right in from Texas to see him, but it was certainly not a gesture of friendship. The look in his eyes as Greg had opened the door had told Greg everything he needed to know. Nick was disappointed in him. There was no concern for Greg's well being; only the annoyance and frustration that were precipitated by Greg's supposed actions. And it hurt Greg that Nick hadn't even called him to check on him. Instead he just flew in from Texas to arrive on Greg's doorstep with that look of disappointment on his face. The hurt that this had caused Greg was almost unbearable. He had always considered Nick to be a friend, maybe even his best friend. And now it looked as if he had had it all wrong. If Nick was really the friend that Greg had thought he was, he would have been supportive. He wouldn't have accepted Greg's assurances that everything was fine. A real friend would have kept pushing until they got some satisfactory answers. But like the rest of the team, Nick had simply resigned himself to the fact that Greg was guilty. Again, someone who he had thought really knew him had so readily accepted the authorities account of what had happened that evening.
How could you Nick? How could you of all people been so quick to assume I was guilty? I stood by you when you were being investigated in Kristy's death. But where were you when it was my turn to come under the microscope?
Greg sighed inwardly as the hospital came into view. He was torn between a host of emotions. He was relieved that the truth was out in the open and that he didn't have to lie to his friends anymore. On the other hand, he was now full of doubts that they had ever truly been his friends in the first place. Their actions over the last couple of days had done little, if anything, to prove that. He was also worried about what Sara would say when she found out that he had lied for her. He was more worried what she might say when she found out that his secret had been exposed. Her reputation was still up in the air. So much had been revealed yet there was still so much to be explained. Greg wasn't entirely sure that he was up to the challenge but he didn't seem to have a lot of choice. They were parking the car and everyone was piling out. They were starting to walk towards the entrance when Warrick looked back at Greg, who hadn't even taken his seatbelt off yet.
"Hey Greg! Let's go."
Greg was half-tempted to respond with, "No, you go on ahead. I'll wait here for five or ten years until this whole thing is nothing more than a bad memory".
However this seemed to be an inappropriate sort of response. Greg climbed out of the car and followed the rest of the group into the hospital.
* * *
Grissom and Nick were there to meet them in the waiting room. Both looked tired but elated. That is, until they laid eyes on Greg. Grissom's eyes flashed dangerously and the muscles around his mouth twitched uncomfortably. It was easy to see the rage on his face. Nick's expression was more difficult to read. His face was still smiling, but it was more of a hard, unforgiving smile. Greg would have turned and ran had he not been so confident of Catherine and Warrick's abilities to smooth things over. Before anyone else could say a word, Catherine laid out the ground rules.
"Gil, Nick, we can explain everything. Believe me, there is some new information that you guys need to hear. But before we get to that, you are going to tell us what's going on with Sara. When you're done, Greg has something that he will share with you guys. That's the way things are going to go, no exceptions. Am I making myself clear?"
Greg marveled at Catherine's ability to keep a group full of temperamental men under control. She was small in stature but her presence was certainly commanding. Grissom and Nick both nodded their heads in response to Catherine's question and the group sat down in a cluster of chairs.
Grissom cleared his throat and deliberately avoided eye contact with Greg. "The doctor's are in with Sara right now. She started to wake up about half and hour ago. She's in considerable pain but the doctor's seem to think that there is no permanent damage. They are still going to keep her for about another week to monitor her internal injuries but she should be able to go home soon."
"Gil, that's great news!" exclaimed Catherine.
"Yeah, it really is" agreed Grissom. "But now it's your turn. What is so important that you had to bring him -" he jerked his head towards Greg '- here?" Greg felt a small surge of annoyance. For a smart guy, Grissom was certainly being stupid. Shouldn't he realize that Catherine and Warrick wouldn't have brought him here unless there was a good reason?
Catherine exchanged dark looks with Warrick. They both knew that it was going to kill Grissom to know that Sara had been the one driving the car the night of the accident. Still, the truth had to come out. She took a deep breath. If anyone had to break the news to Grissom, it should be her.
"This isn't easy, so I am coming right out and saying it: Greg wasn't responsible for the accident. He wasn't the one behind the wheel of the car that night. Sara was."
Grissom's face became a mask of disbelief. "I don't-"
Greg interrupted. "It's true. We were both drunk that night, but she was the one driving. She crashed the car. I switched spots with her so that no one would find out. I guess I did a pretty lousy job of keeping it a secret." He looked away.
Grissom was silent. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. For the first time in as long as any of them had known him, Gil Grissom seemed to be at a loss for words. The silence was awkward but it spoke volumes about the magnitude of this disclosure. The news was devastating to Grissom. He had always thought Sara to be the most intelligent individual that he knew. It seemed to be news to him that she too was fallible. She had made the ultimate mistake and it had almost cost her dearly.
He finally put his glasses back on and looked at Greg. They made eye contact for the first time since the outburst in the Emergency Room.
"Why would she do something like that?" Greg winced. That was a loaded question if ever he heard one. And sadly, it was one that he didn't have an answer to.
"I wish I knew Grissom. But I think that is something that Sara is going to need to explain for herself. In the meantime, I'm sorry for any grief I may have caused you. Any of you." he added as he looked around.
Grissom made a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan. The look on his face clearly showed that he was thinking about his outburst from the previous day. He gently grabbed Greg by the shoulders and winced as Greg recoiled involuntarily.
Here it comes, Greg thought.
"Greg, I'm so sorry, I -"
"Forget it"
"No, I can't forget it, and neither should you. Greg, when I said those things, I said them out of anger. You know I have nothing but respect for you. You are part of this team and we couldn't stand to lose you. I was upset and I was worried. You have to know that there was not an ounce of truth or validity to any of those things I said yesterday. Please, accept my apology?"
Greg accepted it without really meaning it. As expected, the looks of tensions disappeared from everyone's faces.
That's right Greg's inner voice said, just pretend everything's okay and that the last two days never even happened.
"Grissom, there's something that's been bugging me" began Warrick, interrupting Greg's internal rant. "If Sara was on the side that had the airbag, how come she sustained such massive injuries while Greg walked away almost unharmed?"
Greg had to bite his tongue in order to avoid saying something about how he was fairly certain that his injuries went far below the surface of the skin. Grissom had an answer all ready.
"Well, I would suppose that it was the impact of the seatbelt pulling against her. If there was enough force, the pressure on her chest and stomach would have been incredible."
"Yeah, it's kind of like Nikki Taylor's accident" chimed in Nick "Remember, the model who nearly died a couple of years ago? She sustained massive internal injuries and the car wasn't going anywhere near as fast as the one that these guys were in."
"I guess it's just luck of the draw" said Grissom. "You never know who it going to be able to walk away from an accident anymore than you know who is going to be injured in one. There are no rules to car accidents. I have seen people come away from a massive wreck without a scratch on them. Similarly, I have seen people killed in an accident that barely did damage to the car. It's all a matter of fate and circumstance."
Greg was half listening as the group continued to chatter on as they waited for the doctor to allow them into see Sara. He had a grin pasted on his face but inside he was seething. This was so typical of them. They pretended that there had never been any dissention in the ranks. They pretended to put the past behind them and they expected him to do the same. But he couldn't so easily forget the way they had acted. Sure they had had reason to be upset at the time, but it was their willingness to accept the worst that was eating away at Greg. Yesterday they had been his judge, jury and executioner. Today they were acting like his best friends.
He barely glanced up when Nick called his name.
"Yeah?" he said by way of response.
"Listen, I know that we all treated you pretty horribly. But I think I speak for the group when I say that you did a really decent thing. Your heart was in the right place, even if your head wasn't. But you proved a loyalty to Sara and this team that I don't think any of us will forget. You are truly an amazing person."
"We all think so" added Catherine.
Greg looked around at those smiling faces. So friendly. So supportive.
"Thanks. I actually wanted to ask you guys something?"
"Anything." replied Nick.
Greg's face grew hard. "Did you get whiplash from jumping off the bandwagon so fast?"
And he turned and stalked off.