You're the Only One
Author Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, sap, mush, hey its a fic by me you -know- there -has- to be mush and fluff in it. ^^'' Also a song fic 'I'm the Only one' By Melissa Ethridge, 'Headstrong' by Trapt and a few Vanessa Carlton songs and of course Michelle Branch songs.Major Relena bashing later on. ^.~
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boys unfortuneatly, ;-;. Oh, and I don't own any of these songs either. X.x
Quatre and Duo burst out in delight. Wufei grinned, and Trowa smiled, slightly. Heero just looked away. They were going to the Austrian Alps. It's a vacation. Their handlers were sending them on a much needed, much deserved vacation. Trowa was much more excited than he seemed, he was going 'home' if you will, being Austrian. He moved behind Quatre, crossing his arms over his chest. Lowering his visible green eye, to observe the small blonde before him silently, unnoticed, through thick lashes.
Duo and Quatre grinned brightly, leading Trowa and Wufei, chattering excitedly towards the door.
"Relena's been invited as well." Heero's words stopped them all in their tracks, Wufei and Quatre groaned. Duo crossed his arms, mimicking Trowa unconsiously. He looked down, his cobalt gaze misting slightly. Now he would never get to tell Heero how he felt. What was he thinking anyway? Heero loved Relena, if Duo had told his best friend, and Heero turned him away, it would crush Duo even more, and he knew it. Trowa noticed the American's lack of cheer for a moment, before his mask went back up and he became cheerfilled once more, chattering with Quatre again.
Austrian Alps - Two days later...
Duo smiled softly, his cobalt gaze bright and shimmering. He loved snow. He really did. He loved the snowman building, the snow angel making, the snowball fights. And especially the snowboarding! Quatre and Trowa brought skis, so did Heero, even though Duo highly doubted the Japanese boy could use them, and Wufei didn't bring anything, he was content with snowman building and hot choclate. Duo looked ahead of him, towards the other boys and Miss Relena, as usual who was firmly clamped onto Heero's arm. Quatre was talking with Wufei, and Trowa trailed close behind. Duo's smile flickered to nonexistance, as he gazed upon his friends, from behind them.
Duo watched how Trowa kept close to Quatre and how Quatre's eyes always flittered towards the tall Austrian, to make sure he was still there. It was obvious the two liked one another, and knowing their intensity, they loved one another deeply, but had no courage to speak on it. Wufei was just talking, he liked Sally and that was it. Then there was Heero and Miss Relena. Duo's eyes dimmed a bit. Heero looked like he was entranced by Relena, talking softly with the blonde girl. Duo knew the two were friends, but he wasn't sure weather Heero liked Relena the way she liked him. Heero wouldn't even tell his best friend. The braided haired boy sighed softly and looked down, they were nearing the lodge.
They got into the lodge, one of the Winner Lodges, and went to their rooms, everyone got seperate rooms. Wufei's was beside Relena's who was beside Heero's beside Duo's who was beside Quatre who was beside Trowa. All of them unpacked and sheded their heavy jackets and boots. When they all went down stairs they were missing one American pilot. Trowa stopped Relena with a gentle arm on the girl's shoulder when she moved to go fetch Duo, and they all sat down in couches around the fire. It was to late to hit the slopes, and to early to go to bed. Trowa wore gray slacks, and a black turtleneck shirt, with socks, that kept him warm, he crossed his legs at his knees, and watched the fire silently. He was suddenly aware of Quatre curling up beside him, wearing black sweat pants, and a heavy wool sweater of red, he had barefeet, and was also watching the fire.
Heero sat on a high backed chair, his legs tucked beneath him, he wore sweat pants of indigo and a white tee-shirt. He was occupied in a soft conversation with Wufei who sat in front of the fire beside Heero's chair on the floor in his usual white sweat pants and blue tank top. Relena sat quietly in white slacks, and a pink wool sweater on the love seat, sipping her hot chocolate watching Heero. Quatre leaned back against Trowa and and spoke quietly, oblivious of Trowa's suddenly deathly still form, his cheeks tinted red.
"Miss Relena hasn't taken her eyes off Heero, and he's been politely ignoring her, do you think it's because of his feeling's for a certain Shinigami?" Quatre asked quietly, unheard by all except Trowa.
"Yes, I believe it is, don't worry Cat, this trip will do the two good." Trowa whispered back, and kissed Quatre's temple absently. He suddenly drew away, blushing crimson. Quatre smiled softly, and kept leaning back against Trowa. Trowa carefully slid and arm around Quatre's waist pulling the boy closer. Quatre sighed contentedly, and unconsiously snuggled into Trowa's embrace watching his other friends.
Duo walked silently down the stairs and into the lounge where the others had gathered to say goodnight. He wore loose gray sweat pants, and a black tee-shit that hung to about mid thigh. He was unbraiding his hair when he stepped into the fire warmed room, and was fighting with a small snag, as he stood there unnoticed. He smirked at Trowa who looked up with a crimson blush and a soft happy smile, then smiled at Quatre who looked up and smiled brightly. So the two had gotten closer. Only the words would need to be said now. Then Relena looked up at him, and nodded with a small frosty smile on her lips. Duo nodded back. He finally pulled his brush through the snag in his hair and returned to his task of brushing the knee length mass of silky chestnut waves out untill they gleamed.
Duo's cobalt eyes caught the fire and stared unblinking into the dancing flames, absently brushing his hair. He was vaugely aware of Heero and Wufei looking over at him, he nodded to their greetings then turned to wander back up the stairs when a hand caught his arm, he turned blinking the daze from his eyes, his cobalt eyes met prussian blue ones, as he looked down a bit at Heero, the shorter boy, had his arm gently, his thumb absently caressing the flesh beneath it. Duo tilted his head a bit in question.
"You didn't say goodnight." Heero's soft words kind of stunned Duo, he didn't expect Heero to actually 'care' that he hadn't said good night.
"Gomen, Heero. Oyasumi nasai." Duo said softly. Heero blinked, did Duo just speak in actually tangible Japanese? A soft, full smile curled Heero's lips, as he was positioned with his back to the others, only Duo could see it. Duo answered with a bright smile of his own.
"No need to be sorry Duo. And goodnight to you too." Heero said softly, his hand slipping reluctantly from the other boy's arm. Duo nodded, the affectionatly ruffled Heero's hair, turning and starting up the stairs. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.
"G'Night all." Then he added under his breath to Heero. "Sweet dreams, Hee-chan." Heero mock growled at the nickname, but returned the sentiments as he walked back to his chair and his conversation with Wufei. Duo continued up the stairs, his dreams would be sweet, yes, because in his dreams Heero loved him. And all was right with his life. But as soon as he woke, he knew it was all a dream.
That morning, when dawn was just breaking, all the pilots and Relena found Duo in the lounge already, which all tremendously surprised them. He was sitting before a small easel a small palet in his right hand, a brush in the other, he sat before an open door way, and was in the middle of painting the snowy scene before him, where the light made the flakes glow and the shadows of two small rabits and a fawn dance with the trees and the doe in the forest, watching her child. This morning he wore black sweat pants and a clean black tee-shirt. He was humming softly, and as the others save for Quatre and Trowa went into the kitchen, he looked up once more into the scene and paused, pensively. Trowa knelt beside him, Quatre sat on the other side.
"Morning Duo."
"Good Morning Duo."
"G'morning Tro, Q-man. How'er you this fine wee hour of the morning?" Duo grinned a bit and returned to his painting, which he was finishing quickly.
"We're good. How are you Duo?" Quatre asked, his attention on Duo.
"I'm great!"
"Liar." Chorused both Trowa and Quatre at once. Duo stopped in his brushing and looked suspisiously at the two of them.
"Am not, I just didn't tell you the whole truth. Why'd you wanna know anyway? Not like it mattered before." Duo slapped a hand over his mouth right after the words were out, he looked back at his painting, his head bowed, eyes open and unseeing on the paint on his palet. He regretted the words so badly. He couldn't take them back, and saying he was sorry wouldn't help.
Duo tried not to jerk away in self disgust as Quatre hugged him close, instantly relaxing in the blonde's arms. The Arabian's arm was loose around his shoulders a hand stroking his back.
"Duo, you matter. You really do, I'm not just saying it to make you feel better. Trowa and I wouldn't be here to see if you were alright if we didn't care. We all love you very much." Quatre said softly. He felt Duo tremble. The boy was close to tears, and both Quatre and Trowa knew it.
"Go ahead Duo, cry. It will make you feel better if you get it out, Quatre and I are here for you." Trowa said softly, placing a comforting hand on Duo's shoulder. The touch broke the dam, silent streams of tears flowed down the pale cheeks of the American pilot. His lithe form trembled with silent sobs. Trowa and Quatre exchanged softly worried glances.
"It hurts Quatre, it hurts badly. It has for so long. I feel so dead, and cold, and so alone for my whole life, and it's tearing me apart. I can't handle it this time around, it just hurts so bad." Duo said shakily, his tears slowing to a soft trickly, his breathing ebbing gently. " I lie to you all everyday without issuing words, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't handle disgusting you, turning you away. I can't handle even the thought of being alone after I've tasted friendship, love even. I know I'm close to suicide, I probably would have done it already had it not been for you guys. I really mean it." Quatre's and Trowa's eyes met instantly. They had both known. Quatre held Duo tighter.
"Then I'm glad we know each other, I'm glad this war brought us together , you're to special to lose Duo Maxwell." Quatre said firmly. Duo smiled brightly, speechless. Trowa gestured to the painting, trying to change the subject.
"You never told us you could paint so well Duo. I'm utterly impressed." He said softly, gazing over the canvas. The animals and scene was just so real. Duo slowly straightened, and smiled brightly at Trowa, wiping his eyes and cheeks.
"Thanks Trowa. That means a lot. I'll show you my other ones if you like. I just dodn't want to be poked at with teases, seeing as I'm artsy. Wufei more than you guys. It's not 'honorable' for a guy in this age to be so...emotional." Duo said softly. He fingered the brush fondly, his palet resting in his lap. Quatre smiled brightly.
"It's as honorable as my playing a violin, or Trowa playing any instrament." Quatre said, his hand touching Trowa's that was still resting on Duo's back. Duo smirked.
"Aww, would you two just kiss already? ~Everyone~ knows you love each other. Sheesh." Duo said cheerfully, laughing at the crimson colors on Trowa's cheeks, and the pretty pink on Quatre's. Duo stood, stretched for a moment, then skirted around his easel to the edge of the porch, his hand out stretched to the nearing fawn.
Trowa pulled Quatre close, wrapping his arms around the small blonde's waist. Quatre stifled a cry of joy and wrapped his arms around Trowa's slim waist, buring his head in the tall boy's shoulder. When he gained controll of himself, he looked up, his cornflower blue gaze meeting Trowa's emerald green one. The distance was closed and their lips met for a soft, chaste, loving kiss. Their first shared as lovers.
When the two drew back, they smiled softly at one another, then their eyes were drawn to the very still figure of Duo Maxwell. The self proclaimed Shinigami's face was flushed with cold, and his cobalt gaze was abnormally bright, it was then the lovers noted the small tear making it's way down his flushed cheeks.
Duo came forwards and hugged the two other boys in happiness, when he drew away Trowa brushed his tear away and was rewarded by a blindingly bright smile.
"Thank god! You two deserve to be happy on this trip. You two were so slow!" Duo laughed dancing out of Trowa's grasp, then out of Quatre's as the laughing lovers chased Duo into the kitchen, then when the American slid into his chair, the lovers went to get their food, hand in hand.
Relena arched an eyebrow, Heero stared, and Wufei grinned. Duo nodded at the two other pilots confirming their suspisions, and then relaxed back in his chair, staring at the empty table before him.
"Took you long enough Quatre, Trowa!" exclaimed Wufei. Said lovers rolled their eyes, and chorused. "Yeah yeah yeah." That made Wufei laugh.
"Hey Q-Man, do you have your violin with you on this trip?" Duo suddenly asked. That gained the attention of everyone in the room. Quatre turned, batted at Trowa's hand a bit then blinked at Duo with a nod.
"Always, Duo. Want to borrow it?"
"Yeah, if it doesn't impose. I know you love it."
"I'll have my hands full with other things, my poor violin will most likely get neglected, so feel free." Quatre said without thinking.
"Hands full with ~what~ Q-man?" Duo asked with a suggestive smirk. The blonde Arabian blushed furiously.
"Learning to ski you hentai, get your mind out of the gutter!" He reprimanded Duo. Who burst out laughing, then calmed and nodded.
"Ok, I'll behave. Just leave the violin out side my room tonight. And thanks."
Quatre nodded, then turned back to his toast. Which Trowa had saved for him.
"I didn't know you could play an instrament Duo." Relena said incrediously. Wufei arched a brow at him.
"Were you playing a cello at three a.m. in the music room, last Friday?" Wufei asked. Duo looked up at him with an arched brow.
"Yeah, sorry if I woke you 'Fei." Duo apologized.
"No, no, no. I was just getting in, it was excellent, Maxwell."
"And what were ~you~ doing coming in that late, young man?" Duo teased.
" I was with someone if you ~must~ know." Wufei replied without thinking.
"Sally?"
"Yes. Gah! Damn it all, Maxwell!"
Gales of musical laughter floated through the kitchen, Duo batted at Wufei's hands lightly, blocking his assults.
"Anyway , Maxwell, why was the music so damned depressed?"
Silence met him for a moment or two, before his companion looked down at the table again, his hands resting on his thighs.
"My emotions come to life with my music, sorry if it was, ~different~ sounding than how I am usually. My past haunts me you know." Duo said softly. Cobalt blue eyes met the Prussian blue ones of the Perfect Soldier before him before diverted to the couple coming in and joining them.
"Hn." Was the soft contemplating remark from Heero as he watched Duo start to chat idily with Quatre, as Wufei returned to his paper. Relena stared off into space as Trowa softly participated in Duo and his Angel's conversation.
"Oh come on Q-man, you know it'd be fun!"
"No Duo! That's so....degrading!"
"It is not! I'll even play the female part, seeing as I'm the only one who looks like a female out of you all."
"Quatre is slightly femenine"
"Shut up Wufei am not!"
An amused chuckle met that.
"What production Duo?"
"You really want to know Trowa?"
"Sure sounds like fun."
"Yes! I love you man, not...literally...Quatre put that knife down Dude! It was in a friend manner! Sheesh. Anyway, Romeo and Juliet."
"I haven't done that production, for a long time, it might even be refreshing."
"Trowa, since I'm Juliet, and Quatre will murder me if you play Romeo, why don't you play Romeo's best friend there, and Quatre play the nurse so he can hit me."
Quatre giggled and Wufei suddenly became interested, like everyone else.
"So who'll play Romeo, Maxwell? I sure as hell wont."
"Since Relena would play the mother best, I would have to say Heero, but seeing as he'd rather self destruct than go along and we have to multiple parts anyway..."
" I would not rather self destruct than play Romeo in your play Duo."
"Even if I'm Juliet?"
"Even if you're Juliet."
"Hey! Wait a minute! Since I'm the only female why can't ~I~ be Juliet?"
"You can't act, Relena."
"I can too Heero!"
This eleicted snickers from them all except Duo, he smiled, rather sadly. This didn't go unnoticed by any of them but Relena.
"Relena you can be Juliet. I'll be the director. You can act like a woman better than I can anyway."
"One should hope, seeing as I was born female."
"You sure about that onna?"
SMACK!
"OW! Maxwell! What was that...oh never mind..."
Quatre was watching Duo with such a sad gleam in his eyes, that when Duo caught it, he turned away blinking back tears. Heero had seen the moisture. His heart wrenched painfully in his chest, as the fact of tears in Duo's eyes made his soul shatter. Duo pushed back from the table plastering a fake smile on again. No one knew the difference, except Heero and Quatre.
"Well enjoy breakfast all, I'm not hungry. I'll be upstairs if any of you need me," He added under his breath only heard by Heero and Quatre. "not like anyone cares." He walked from the room, and Heero was watching Quatre and Trowa, the two watched each other sadly, untill Quatre buried his face in Trowa's chest, silently crying. Trowa held him close, then gently lifted him and excused themselves from the room. Heero heard them enter the room above the kitchen and he heard Quatre crying furiously. Wufei and Relena were to busy arguing to hear.
"He doesn't believe we care any more Trowa! I feel it, it's like he's dying, from the inside out!"
"Angel, I know. We love him dearly, he is the only one keeping the whole group together and everyone knows it, except him."
"He's ready to commit suicide Trowa, I feel it, he's at his limit! A person, even Shinigami, can only take so much pain spiritually, emotionally. He lost his only friend when younger, he was raped when he was younger, I mean I would want to die too! But that's over! Oh Trowa, why can't he see? Does he even want to see? Is he that tired of life?"
"Angel, you're an empath, and it hurts you when it hurts him. You know how hard he tries, because he puts us before himself. Everyone knows it's his partner before himself in missions, in battle, in any dangerous situation. I just wish he would feel the love we give him, maybe that would help."
"Oh Trowa, I just don't know, if the kind of love he needs, we can give. I know we can't give him love in the sense he needs most. Only Heero could, but both are blind idiots with no idea of the other's feeling, and both are too coward to admit it. I mean once they learn they wont repulse the other, maybe it will change." His voice came out a strangled cry. " Oh Trowa! He's crying, he's in so much pain..." Quatre couldn't take it because he started to sob uncontrolably. Their sounds were drowned out be Wufei's and Relena's arguing. Heero stood abruptly, and walked from the kitchen, taking the stairs three at a time, untill he reached the landing. He ran to Duo's room, but stopped out side the door. He heard music. He knew music kept Duo calm, but he could still hear the soft sniffles and a soft sob or two permenting the music.
When you're all alone,
and you need a light,
someone to guide you through the night,
just remember that I am here,
to hold you close and dry your tears.
Oh-ooh
And just when you thought you were falling,
but you know I'll always be right there.
When you're all alone,
and you need a friend,
someone to help you to the end,
when you need someone to catch you when you fall,
I'll be there through it all.
oh-oh
Cause just when you thought you were losing,
but you know I'll always be right there.
And I'll be there through the good times,
and the bad,
and we'll be there for each other,
cause you're the best friend I've ever had.
And just when you thought you were falling,
but you know I'll always be right there.
oh-oooh whenever you need me,
I'll always be right there.
The song switched to something diffrent and Duo turned it down. Heero silently pushed the door open, he picked up the violin Quatre had left, maybe Duo had been in his room after Quatre put it there, but it gave Heero a reason to come in. So he did, he gently place the violin down on a table at the foot of Duo's bed, making enough noise to let him know Heero was there. Duo was face first on his bed, curled up into a little ball, sobbing silently. Heero felt everything in him go cold, and then suddenly shatter.
Heero sat on the edge of the bed, and Duo suddenly sat up, looking away from Heero, furiously wiping the tears away. Heero put his back against the headboard, beside Duo, and gently took the American boy by the waist bringing him closer. Duo obediently slid to Heero, and snuggled welcomingly into his embrace, when his strong arms encircled him, when Heero's strong form curled up with his. Heero had slid him on to his lap, resting Duo's head against his shoulder, and held him close. A fresh wave of tears came, and Duo's grip on Heero's shirt tightened violently, as he buried his face into the Japanese boy's shoulder. Heero had a steel grip around Duo's waist, his other hand was stroking Duo's back, trying to soothe him.
Heero pressed his cheek to Duo's hair, closing his eyes, and bringing Duo closer. He listening to the song that just started up, it catching his interest slightly, feeling as though he wanted to sing along, Heero did, his deep voice softly sloating over Duo, soothing him, his sobs ebbing, as the American listened.
You light me up and then I fall for you
you lay me down and then I call for you
stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then some for you
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
pretty baby why can't you see
you're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
for you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
And I know things can't last forever
but there are lessons that you'll never learn
oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
so how's it you that makes me better
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
pretty baby why can't you see
you're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
for you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
Why can't you hold me and never let go
when you touch me it is me that you own
pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
would you break it apart again... oh pretty baby
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
pretty baby why can't you see
you're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
for you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
Duo clung to Heero, as the words softly died with the music. Duo snuggled further into Heero's embrace and Heero kept him closer. Save for the occassional hiccup, and a sniff here or there, Duo had calmed down. Heero pressed his lips softly to Duo's hair, then pressing his cheek back to the soft strands, his free hand stroking the back of Duo's head softly.
Duo shifted, raising his head slightly, resting it in the curve of Heero's neck, redrimmed cobalt eyes opened.
"Man, Heero, I'm sorry for cryin' all over you like that."
"It's alright Duo, I don't mind."
"I'm sorry for exploding into tears like that, it was really pathetic."
"It wasn't pathetic Duo, you were hurting, sad and god knows what else, so you cried. I just don't like seeing you cry."
"I haven't cried since I was ten."
"Well you just gave your tears glands the exercise of their lives."
This elicted a small watery laugh from Duo. Heero smiled softly.
"Man thanks for helping, it means a lot. You don't know how much."
"You're welcome Duo." I couldn't stand it when you cry, it rips me apart. Heero added silently.
"Come on Duo, everyone's going outside. Let's hit the slopes."
"Sure! Sounds great! I need fresh air! And snow! I love snow." And I love you, Duo added silently. Heero looked down into the bright cobalt eyes, and smiled gently. The two untangled themselves from one another, and stood before each other, Duo looking down slightly at Heero, looking up softly. Heero tiled his head upwards, and Duo tilted his head downwards a bit, their lips meeting half way, Duo placed a hand on Heero's shoulder, as their lips pressed together softly, chastely. When they parted a moment later, Heero smiled brightly up at Duo, who smiled back, genuinely. Heero slipped from the room silently, a moment later. Both boys dressing warmly for skiing and snowboarding.
Author Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, sap, mush, hey its a fic by me you -know- there -has- to be mush and fluff in it. ^^'' Also a song fic 'I'm the Only one' By Melissa Ethridge, 'Headstrong' by Trapt and a few Vanessa Carlton songs and of course Michelle Branch songs.Major Relena bashing later on. ^.~
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boys unfortuneatly, ;-;. Oh, and I don't own any of these songs either. X.x
Quatre and Duo burst out in delight. Wufei grinned, and Trowa smiled, slightly. Heero just looked away. They were going to the Austrian Alps. It's a vacation. Their handlers were sending them on a much needed, much deserved vacation. Trowa was much more excited than he seemed, he was going 'home' if you will, being Austrian. He moved behind Quatre, crossing his arms over his chest. Lowering his visible green eye, to observe the small blonde before him silently, unnoticed, through thick lashes.
Duo and Quatre grinned brightly, leading Trowa and Wufei, chattering excitedly towards the door.
"Relena's been invited as well." Heero's words stopped them all in their tracks, Wufei and Quatre groaned. Duo crossed his arms, mimicking Trowa unconsiously. He looked down, his cobalt gaze misting slightly. Now he would never get to tell Heero how he felt. What was he thinking anyway? Heero loved Relena, if Duo had told his best friend, and Heero turned him away, it would crush Duo even more, and he knew it. Trowa noticed the American's lack of cheer for a moment, before his mask went back up and he became cheerfilled once more, chattering with Quatre again.
Austrian Alps - Two days later...
Duo smiled softly, his cobalt gaze bright and shimmering. He loved snow. He really did. He loved the snowman building, the snow angel making, the snowball fights. And especially the snowboarding! Quatre and Trowa brought skis, so did Heero, even though Duo highly doubted the Japanese boy could use them, and Wufei didn't bring anything, he was content with snowman building and hot choclate. Duo looked ahead of him, towards the other boys and Miss Relena, as usual who was firmly clamped onto Heero's arm. Quatre was talking with Wufei, and Trowa trailed close behind. Duo's smile flickered to nonexistance, as he gazed upon his friends, from behind them.
Duo watched how Trowa kept close to Quatre and how Quatre's eyes always flittered towards the tall Austrian, to make sure he was still there. It was obvious the two liked one another, and knowing their intensity, they loved one another deeply, but had no courage to speak on it. Wufei was just talking, he liked Sally and that was it. Then there was Heero and Miss Relena. Duo's eyes dimmed a bit. Heero looked like he was entranced by Relena, talking softly with the blonde girl. Duo knew the two were friends, but he wasn't sure weather Heero liked Relena the way she liked him. Heero wouldn't even tell his best friend. The braided haired boy sighed softly and looked down, they were nearing the lodge.
They got into the lodge, one of the Winner Lodges, and went to their rooms, everyone got seperate rooms. Wufei's was beside Relena's who was beside Heero's beside Duo's who was beside Quatre who was beside Trowa. All of them unpacked and sheded their heavy jackets and boots. When they all went down stairs they were missing one American pilot. Trowa stopped Relena with a gentle arm on the girl's shoulder when she moved to go fetch Duo, and they all sat down in couches around the fire. It was to late to hit the slopes, and to early to go to bed. Trowa wore gray slacks, and a black turtleneck shirt, with socks, that kept him warm, he crossed his legs at his knees, and watched the fire silently. He was suddenly aware of Quatre curling up beside him, wearing black sweat pants, and a heavy wool sweater of red, he had barefeet, and was also watching the fire.
Heero sat on a high backed chair, his legs tucked beneath him, he wore sweat pants of indigo and a white tee-shirt. He was occupied in a soft conversation with Wufei who sat in front of the fire beside Heero's chair on the floor in his usual white sweat pants and blue tank top. Relena sat quietly in white slacks, and a pink wool sweater on the love seat, sipping her hot chocolate watching Heero. Quatre leaned back against Trowa and and spoke quietly, oblivious of Trowa's suddenly deathly still form, his cheeks tinted red.
"Miss Relena hasn't taken her eyes off Heero, and he's been politely ignoring her, do you think it's because of his feeling's for a certain Shinigami?" Quatre asked quietly, unheard by all except Trowa.
"Yes, I believe it is, don't worry Cat, this trip will do the two good." Trowa whispered back, and kissed Quatre's temple absently. He suddenly drew away, blushing crimson. Quatre smiled softly, and kept leaning back against Trowa. Trowa carefully slid and arm around Quatre's waist pulling the boy closer. Quatre sighed contentedly, and unconsiously snuggled into Trowa's embrace watching his other friends.
Duo walked silently down the stairs and into the lounge where the others had gathered to say goodnight. He wore loose gray sweat pants, and a black tee-shit that hung to about mid thigh. He was unbraiding his hair when he stepped into the fire warmed room, and was fighting with a small snag, as he stood there unnoticed. He smirked at Trowa who looked up with a crimson blush and a soft happy smile, then smiled at Quatre who looked up and smiled brightly. So the two had gotten closer. Only the words would need to be said now. Then Relena looked up at him, and nodded with a small frosty smile on her lips. Duo nodded back. He finally pulled his brush through the snag in his hair and returned to his task of brushing the knee length mass of silky chestnut waves out untill they gleamed.
Duo's cobalt eyes caught the fire and stared unblinking into the dancing flames, absently brushing his hair. He was vaugely aware of Heero and Wufei looking over at him, he nodded to their greetings then turned to wander back up the stairs when a hand caught his arm, he turned blinking the daze from his eyes, his cobalt eyes met prussian blue ones, as he looked down a bit at Heero, the shorter boy, had his arm gently, his thumb absently caressing the flesh beneath it. Duo tilted his head a bit in question.
"You didn't say goodnight." Heero's soft words kind of stunned Duo, he didn't expect Heero to actually 'care' that he hadn't said good night.
"Gomen, Heero. Oyasumi nasai." Duo said softly. Heero blinked, did Duo just speak in actually tangible Japanese? A soft, full smile curled Heero's lips, as he was positioned with his back to the others, only Duo could see it. Duo answered with a bright smile of his own.
"No need to be sorry Duo. And goodnight to you too." Heero said softly, his hand slipping reluctantly from the other boy's arm. Duo nodded, the affectionatly ruffled Heero's hair, turning and starting up the stairs. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.
"G'Night all." Then he added under his breath to Heero. "Sweet dreams, Hee-chan." Heero mock growled at the nickname, but returned the sentiments as he walked back to his chair and his conversation with Wufei. Duo continued up the stairs, his dreams would be sweet, yes, because in his dreams Heero loved him. And all was right with his life. But as soon as he woke, he knew it was all a dream.
That morning, when dawn was just breaking, all the pilots and Relena found Duo in the lounge already, which all tremendously surprised them. He was sitting before a small easel a small palet in his right hand, a brush in the other, he sat before an open door way, and was in the middle of painting the snowy scene before him, where the light made the flakes glow and the shadows of two small rabits and a fawn dance with the trees and the doe in the forest, watching her child. This morning he wore black sweat pants and a clean black tee-shirt. He was humming softly, and as the others save for Quatre and Trowa went into the kitchen, he looked up once more into the scene and paused, pensively. Trowa knelt beside him, Quatre sat on the other side.
"Morning Duo."
"Good Morning Duo."
"G'morning Tro, Q-man. How'er you this fine wee hour of the morning?" Duo grinned a bit and returned to his painting, which he was finishing quickly.
"We're good. How are you Duo?" Quatre asked, his attention on Duo.
"I'm great!"
"Liar." Chorused both Trowa and Quatre at once. Duo stopped in his brushing and looked suspisiously at the two of them.
"Am not, I just didn't tell you the whole truth. Why'd you wanna know anyway? Not like it mattered before." Duo slapped a hand over his mouth right after the words were out, he looked back at his painting, his head bowed, eyes open and unseeing on the paint on his palet. He regretted the words so badly. He couldn't take them back, and saying he was sorry wouldn't help.
Duo tried not to jerk away in self disgust as Quatre hugged him close, instantly relaxing in the blonde's arms. The Arabian's arm was loose around his shoulders a hand stroking his back.
"Duo, you matter. You really do, I'm not just saying it to make you feel better. Trowa and I wouldn't be here to see if you were alright if we didn't care. We all love you very much." Quatre said softly. He felt Duo tremble. The boy was close to tears, and both Quatre and Trowa knew it.
"Go ahead Duo, cry. It will make you feel better if you get it out, Quatre and I are here for you." Trowa said softly, placing a comforting hand on Duo's shoulder. The touch broke the dam, silent streams of tears flowed down the pale cheeks of the American pilot. His lithe form trembled with silent sobs. Trowa and Quatre exchanged softly worried glances.
"It hurts Quatre, it hurts badly. It has for so long. I feel so dead, and cold, and so alone for my whole life, and it's tearing me apart. I can't handle it this time around, it just hurts so bad." Duo said shakily, his tears slowing to a soft trickly, his breathing ebbing gently. " I lie to you all everyday without issuing words, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't handle disgusting you, turning you away. I can't handle even the thought of being alone after I've tasted friendship, love even. I know I'm close to suicide, I probably would have done it already had it not been for you guys. I really mean it." Quatre's and Trowa's eyes met instantly. They had both known. Quatre held Duo tighter.
"Then I'm glad we know each other, I'm glad this war brought us together , you're to special to lose Duo Maxwell." Quatre said firmly. Duo smiled brightly, speechless. Trowa gestured to the painting, trying to change the subject.
"You never told us you could paint so well Duo. I'm utterly impressed." He said softly, gazing over the canvas. The animals and scene was just so real. Duo slowly straightened, and smiled brightly at Trowa, wiping his eyes and cheeks.
"Thanks Trowa. That means a lot. I'll show you my other ones if you like. I just dodn't want to be poked at with teases, seeing as I'm artsy. Wufei more than you guys. It's not 'honorable' for a guy in this age to be so...emotional." Duo said softly. He fingered the brush fondly, his palet resting in his lap. Quatre smiled brightly.
"It's as honorable as my playing a violin, or Trowa playing any instrament." Quatre said, his hand touching Trowa's that was still resting on Duo's back. Duo smirked.
"Aww, would you two just kiss already? ~Everyone~ knows you love each other. Sheesh." Duo said cheerfully, laughing at the crimson colors on Trowa's cheeks, and the pretty pink on Quatre's. Duo stood, stretched for a moment, then skirted around his easel to the edge of the porch, his hand out stretched to the nearing fawn.
Trowa pulled Quatre close, wrapping his arms around the small blonde's waist. Quatre stifled a cry of joy and wrapped his arms around Trowa's slim waist, buring his head in the tall boy's shoulder. When he gained controll of himself, he looked up, his cornflower blue gaze meeting Trowa's emerald green one. The distance was closed and their lips met for a soft, chaste, loving kiss. Their first shared as lovers.
When the two drew back, they smiled softly at one another, then their eyes were drawn to the very still figure of Duo Maxwell. The self proclaimed Shinigami's face was flushed with cold, and his cobalt gaze was abnormally bright, it was then the lovers noted the small tear making it's way down his flushed cheeks.
Duo came forwards and hugged the two other boys in happiness, when he drew away Trowa brushed his tear away and was rewarded by a blindingly bright smile.
"Thank god! You two deserve to be happy on this trip. You two were so slow!" Duo laughed dancing out of Trowa's grasp, then out of Quatre's as the laughing lovers chased Duo into the kitchen, then when the American slid into his chair, the lovers went to get their food, hand in hand.
Relena arched an eyebrow, Heero stared, and Wufei grinned. Duo nodded at the two other pilots confirming their suspisions, and then relaxed back in his chair, staring at the empty table before him.
"Took you long enough Quatre, Trowa!" exclaimed Wufei. Said lovers rolled their eyes, and chorused. "Yeah yeah yeah." That made Wufei laugh.
"Hey Q-Man, do you have your violin with you on this trip?" Duo suddenly asked. That gained the attention of everyone in the room. Quatre turned, batted at Trowa's hand a bit then blinked at Duo with a nod.
"Always, Duo. Want to borrow it?"
"Yeah, if it doesn't impose. I know you love it."
"I'll have my hands full with other things, my poor violin will most likely get neglected, so feel free." Quatre said without thinking.
"Hands full with ~what~ Q-man?" Duo asked with a suggestive smirk. The blonde Arabian blushed furiously.
"Learning to ski you hentai, get your mind out of the gutter!" He reprimanded Duo. Who burst out laughing, then calmed and nodded.
"Ok, I'll behave. Just leave the violin out side my room tonight. And thanks."
Quatre nodded, then turned back to his toast. Which Trowa had saved for him.
"I didn't know you could play an instrament Duo." Relena said incrediously. Wufei arched a brow at him.
"Were you playing a cello at three a.m. in the music room, last Friday?" Wufei asked. Duo looked up at him with an arched brow.
"Yeah, sorry if I woke you 'Fei." Duo apologized.
"No, no, no. I was just getting in, it was excellent, Maxwell."
"And what were ~you~ doing coming in that late, young man?" Duo teased.
" I was with someone if you ~must~ know." Wufei replied without thinking.
"Sally?"
"Yes. Gah! Damn it all, Maxwell!"
Gales of musical laughter floated through the kitchen, Duo batted at Wufei's hands lightly, blocking his assults.
"Anyway , Maxwell, why was the music so damned depressed?"
Silence met him for a moment or two, before his companion looked down at the table again, his hands resting on his thighs.
"My emotions come to life with my music, sorry if it was, ~different~ sounding than how I am usually. My past haunts me you know." Duo said softly. Cobalt blue eyes met the Prussian blue ones of the Perfect Soldier before him before diverted to the couple coming in and joining them.
"Hn." Was the soft contemplating remark from Heero as he watched Duo start to chat idily with Quatre, as Wufei returned to his paper. Relena stared off into space as Trowa softly participated in Duo and his Angel's conversation.
"Oh come on Q-man, you know it'd be fun!"
"No Duo! That's so....degrading!"
"It is not! I'll even play the female part, seeing as I'm the only one who looks like a female out of you all."
"Quatre is slightly femenine"
"Shut up Wufei am not!"
An amused chuckle met that.
"What production Duo?"
"You really want to know Trowa?"
"Sure sounds like fun."
"Yes! I love you man, not...literally...Quatre put that knife down Dude! It was in a friend manner! Sheesh. Anyway, Romeo and Juliet."
"I haven't done that production, for a long time, it might even be refreshing."
"Trowa, since I'm Juliet, and Quatre will murder me if you play Romeo, why don't you play Romeo's best friend there, and Quatre play the nurse so he can hit me."
Quatre giggled and Wufei suddenly became interested, like everyone else.
"So who'll play Romeo, Maxwell? I sure as hell wont."
"Since Relena would play the mother best, I would have to say Heero, but seeing as he'd rather self destruct than go along and we have to multiple parts anyway..."
" I would not rather self destruct than play Romeo in your play Duo."
"Even if I'm Juliet?"
"Even if you're Juliet."
"Hey! Wait a minute! Since I'm the only female why can't ~I~ be Juliet?"
"You can't act, Relena."
"I can too Heero!"
This eleicted snickers from them all except Duo, he smiled, rather sadly. This didn't go unnoticed by any of them but Relena.
"Relena you can be Juliet. I'll be the director. You can act like a woman better than I can anyway."
"One should hope, seeing as I was born female."
"You sure about that onna?"
SMACK!
"OW! Maxwell! What was that...oh never mind..."
Quatre was watching Duo with such a sad gleam in his eyes, that when Duo caught it, he turned away blinking back tears. Heero had seen the moisture. His heart wrenched painfully in his chest, as the fact of tears in Duo's eyes made his soul shatter. Duo pushed back from the table plastering a fake smile on again. No one knew the difference, except Heero and Quatre.
"Well enjoy breakfast all, I'm not hungry. I'll be upstairs if any of you need me," He added under his breath only heard by Heero and Quatre. "not like anyone cares." He walked from the room, and Heero was watching Quatre and Trowa, the two watched each other sadly, untill Quatre buried his face in Trowa's chest, silently crying. Trowa held him close, then gently lifted him and excused themselves from the room. Heero heard them enter the room above the kitchen and he heard Quatre crying furiously. Wufei and Relena were to busy arguing to hear.
"He doesn't believe we care any more Trowa! I feel it, it's like he's dying, from the inside out!"
"Angel, I know. We love him dearly, he is the only one keeping the whole group together and everyone knows it, except him."
"He's ready to commit suicide Trowa, I feel it, he's at his limit! A person, even Shinigami, can only take so much pain spiritually, emotionally. He lost his only friend when younger, he was raped when he was younger, I mean I would want to die too! But that's over! Oh Trowa, why can't he see? Does he even want to see? Is he that tired of life?"
"Angel, you're an empath, and it hurts you when it hurts him. You know how hard he tries, because he puts us before himself. Everyone knows it's his partner before himself in missions, in battle, in any dangerous situation. I just wish he would feel the love we give him, maybe that would help."
"Oh Trowa, I just don't know, if the kind of love he needs, we can give. I know we can't give him love in the sense he needs most. Only Heero could, but both are blind idiots with no idea of the other's feeling, and both are too coward to admit it. I mean once they learn they wont repulse the other, maybe it will change." His voice came out a strangled cry. " Oh Trowa! He's crying, he's in so much pain..." Quatre couldn't take it because he started to sob uncontrolably. Their sounds were drowned out be Wufei's and Relena's arguing. Heero stood abruptly, and walked from the kitchen, taking the stairs three at a time, untill he reached the landing. He ran to Duo's room, but stopped out side the door. He heard music. He knew music kept Duo calm, but he could still hear the soft sniffles and a soft sob or two permenting the music.
When you're all alone,
and you need a light,
someone to guide you through the night,
just remember that I am here,
to hold you close and dry your tears.
Oh-ooh
And just when you thought you were falling,
but you know I'll always be right there.
When you're all alone,
and you need a friend,
someone to help you to the end,
when you need someone to catch you when you fall,
I'll be there through it all.
oh-oh
Cause just when you thought you were losing,
but you know I'll always be right there.
And I'll be there through the good times,
and the bad,
and we'll be there for each other,
cause you're the best friend I've ever had.
And just when you thought you were falling,
but you know I'll always be right there.
oh-oooh whenever you need me,
I'll always be right there.
The song switched to something diffrent and Duo turned it down. Heero silently pushed the door open, he picked up the violin Quatre had left, maybe Duo had been in his room after Quatre put it there, but it gave Heero a reason to come in. So he did, he gently place the violin down on a table at the foot of Duo's bed, making enough noise to let him know Heero was there. Duo was face first on his bed, curled up into a little ball, sobbing silently. Heero felt everything in him go cold, and then suddenly shatter.
Heero sat on the edge of the bed, and Duo suddenly sat up, looking away from Heero, furiously wiping the tears away. Heero put his back against the headboard, beside Duo, and gently took the American boy by the waist bringing him closer. Duo obediently slid to Heero, and snuggled welcomingly into his embrace, when his strong arms encircled him, when Heero's strong form curled up with his. Heero had slid him on to his lap, resting Duo's head against his shoulder, and held him close. A fresh wave of tears came, and Duo's grip on Heero's shirt tightened violently, as he buried his face into the Japanese boy's shoulder. Heero had a steel grip around Duo's waist, his other hand was stroking Duo's back, trying to soothe him.
Heero pressed his cheek to Duo's hair, closing his eyes, and bringing Duo closer. He listening to the song that just started up, it catching his interest slightly, feeling as though he wanted to sing along, Heero did, his deep voice softly sloating over Duo, soothing him, his sobs ebbing, as the American listened.
You light me up and then I fall for you
you lay me down and then I call for you
stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then some for you
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
pretty baby why can't you see
you're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
for you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
And I know things can't last forever
but there are lessons that you'll never learn
oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
so how's it you that makes me better
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
pretty baby why can't you see
you're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
for you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
Why can't you hold me and never let go
when you touch me it is me that you own
pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
would you break it apart again... oh pretty baby
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
pretty baby why can't you see
you're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
for you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be alright and I'll sleep sound
as long as you keep comin' around, oh pretty baby
Duo clung to Heero, as the words softly died with the music. Duo snuggled further into Heero's embrace and Heero kept him closer. Save for the occassional hiccup, and a sniff here or there, Duo had calmed down. Heero pressed his lips softly to Duo's hair, then pressing his cheek back to the soft strands, his free hand stroking the back of Duo's head softly.
Duo shifted, raising his head slightly, resting it in the curve of Heero's neck, redrimmed cobalt eyes opened.
"Man, Heero, I'm sorry for cryin' all over you like that."
"It's alright Duo, I don't mind."
"I'm sorry for exploding into tears like that, it was really pathetic."
"It wasn't pathetic Duo, you were hurting, sad and god knows what else, so you cried. I just don't like seeing you cry."
"I haven't cried since I was ten."
"Well you just gave your tears glands the exercise of their lives."
This elicted a small watery laugh from Duo. Heero smiled softly.
"Man thanks for helping, it means a lot. You don't know how much."
"You're welcome Duo." I couldn't stand it when you cry, it rips me apart. Heero added silently.
"Come on Duo, everyone's going outside. Let's hit the slopes."
"Sure! Sounds great! I need fresh air! And snow! I love snow." And I love you, Duo added silently. Heero looked down into the bright cobalt eyes, and smiled gently. The two untangled themselves from one another, and stood before each other, Duo looking down slightly at Heero, looking up softly. Heero tiled his head upwards, and Duo tilted his head downwards a bit, their lips meeting half way, Duo placed a hand on Heero's shoulder, as their lips pressed together softly, chastely. When they parted a moment later, Heero smiled brightly up at Duo, who smiled back, genuinely. Heero slipped from the room silently, a moment later. Both boys dressing warmly for skiing and snowboarding.