I felt odd as I walked back to the lake, Sheepless. I was out one pet and the ability to express myself freely. This had become obvious when I thanked the fairy out of sheer politeness and it came out sounding bitter and sarcastic.
"Good, you're back," Andrew said as I approached, climbing to his feet and rushing over to me. He threw his arms around my waist, pressing heart-flutteringly close to me. I could see every ray in his eyes, every light freckle that was just a slight dusting across his nose, every movement of his chestnut hair. "Now let's start where we left off, if that's okay with you. One time only, I promise."
I nodded enthusiastically, not trusting myself to speak. So, we did start where we left off, before the home-wrecker girl interrupted us, and he slowly pressed his lips to mine. It was quick and sweet, and he pulled away leisurely, letting go of me and sitting back down on the blanket, a bit red in the face.
My thoughts of him ever being an egotistical jerk faded into a view of him that was nothing but a sweet, gentle, and handsome man that also proved to be quite a good kisser.
A bit dazed, I sat down next to him and sat silently. Wow, for such a quick kiss, it surely did things to my mind. I tried to collect my thoughts when Andrew broke in.
"It's not true," he said quickly, beginning to stumble over his words. "I mean…you didn't bruise my ego. Well…not really. I was disappointed, because the truth was that I did like you. I do like you. A lot. Probably even more than I realize. You're so different from the other girls here. You're creative, funny, smart…you don't have an unnatural obsession with dwarves…"
I gave a small snort of laughter, still too afraid to say anything.
"Snow White's nice, but she doesn't like me for me. You know about the blessing…curse, don't you?"
I nodded.
"I'm afraid of that happening. A fairy's wish always comes true, and I don't want it to. I was hoping that I would be able to break this with you…someday, anyway. Gwen, tell me the truth now, if you weren't before. Do you like me?"
I snorted. Ack! Why? "Yeah, I like you." Stop rolling, eyes! Stop!
Andrew looked angry, he frowned. "Excuse me?"
"Yeah," I said again. Stop it! Stop it! Be sincere! "I like you." My eyes rolled again. I could have cried.
Andrew stood up and kicked a pinecone so hard that it flew out into the lake and landed with a plunk in the water. "You could have least said you didn't, instead of acting like such a snob about it." Nice selection of words, I'm glad he didn't call me the b-word, which would have probably caused me to slap him (even though I was being one. But not on my own will!). "We're over, if we were ever anything to start with. Snow White is probably waiting for me to take her home. Goodbye, Gwen. Have a nice life."
He walked off before I could think of anything to say that could make it sound like I was telling the truth, no matter how my voice sounded. But I couldn't think of anything anyway. "Have a nice life, too," I mumbled. I meant it to sound sad, but it sounded more like a bitter sentiment than anything. I watched his back until he disappeared through the trees.
I slammed my fists onto the ground. Not only was I Sheepless, I had lost a handsome, sweet guy who actually liked me.
Damn you, fairies!
I could barely hold back the tears as I walked back home to my trailer. I would have burst into sobs right in the middle of the road, but I decided that wouldn't be the best thing to do in front of several flimsy walled houses. I didn't need to lose my dignity as a third sacrifice.
I set my "Gwen is #1" giant foam finger down on the table and collapsed onto the couch, leaning against the armrest with my hands on my stomach. The humiliating threat of crying turned into frustration.
"Life is wonderful," I muttered, turning to face the back of the couch and burying my face in the musty velvet.
"Isn't it, though?" Mirror chirped. "Don't worry, Gwen. I know what happened. You don't have to annoy me with your sarcasm by explaining it to me."
"Well, aren't you fortunate?"
He grinned a bit, nodding. "Aren't you?"
"Yes, yes I am. I just love talking like this so much. Especially since Andrew is very happy with me right now."
"I said you didn't have to explain it to me." Mirror disappeared and I rolled my eyes.
Then I thought of something. "Mirror."
He reappeared, frowning. "Yes?"
"One." Pause. "Word." Pause. "Sentences." Pause. "Can't." Pause. "Be." Pause. "Sarcastic."
"But they're just as annoying."
I slammed my fist on the couch in frustration.
"Wait, I have a heroic plan."
I looked over at him, he was smiling proudly.
"What?"
"Save Sheep."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Yes, save Sheep. They're not going to lift it from you if you actually ask. They'll just tell you that you will learn to appreciate your gift. And my plan is noble enough, you said that Mary was a brat. You would be saving Sheep's sanity, if the thing ever had a brain to begin with. And, if you just happen to casually mention your theft to the fairies…"
"Right, couldn't I just mention that I did it without actually doing it?"
"They can tell when you're lying." Mirror frowned. "And just…stop talking."
I scowled at him.
"Like I said, they can tell when you're lying. And it's already hard enough to interpret what you're trying to truly say in the first place. Why not kill two birds with one stone? Get your sheep back, and possibly get your "blessing" lifted."
"And if they don't?"
"Then you'll get a real blessing that they refer to as a "curse", and you'll at least be a little better off."
I sighed, warding off a yawn. "Like I'm not tired."
"Go to bed," mirror commanded. "I'm sick of hearing your voice, anyway."
I grunted and got up from the couch, wandering irresolutely toward my bedroom.
Truthfully, he wasn't the only one sick of hearing it. I wanted to shoot myself.
"This is just great," I muttered, pushing my plaited braids into the black ski cap, trying not to get any of the black goop smeared under my eyes on my hands.
"Hurry, hurry, don't be late!"
I stared at mirror who was smiling pompously.
"I thought you stopped rhyming."
"Couldn't help myself." He nodded toward the door. "But really, go now. Mary's getting restless."
The mask dissipated and the haze cleared, sharpening into an image of a small, chubby girl on the couch and piled under blankets, her blonde curls in disarray, tossing a bit and throwing her sheets askew. Great, she slept in the living room. This would make it even worse.
"All right, I'm going."
"Au revoir, mon amour."
"Yeah…you too." I shut the door quietly behind me and stood on my porch, a bit dazed. What on earth was I doing? It was the middle of the night, I was outside in the pitch dark wearing all black, and I was on a mission to steal a sheep from a little girl.
Trailer parks must really do things to you.
My black slippers made barely any sound in the gravel (though my feet were becoming a little sore) and my mind let the roads know I wanted to go to Mary's house. They centered me in a sort of cul-de-sac, and I stood in the middle, wondering which door to go through. There were four trailers, all with siding the same dull gray, dirty windows, brass on the doorknobs and knockers rusting.
Three mice scurried past and bumped into my ankle. I almost gave a squeal but held it in.
"Hey, watch where you're going."
"Yeah…"
I looked down. The three brown little creatures were staring up at me, well, more to my side, and swaying like they were on a boat. Their eyes that must have once been a deep, beady black, but were now clouded over with a white film, glowing like a mist in faint moonlight.
"I'm…sorry…" I whispered, the quiet tone edging the sarcasm out of my voice. "I'm lost." I coughed. "Lost... I'm trying to find my way back home."
"Well, who are you? Can't tell you where you live if I don't know who ya are."
"Um…" I coughed again, adding a tiny lisp to my voice. This was more difficult than I thought it would be. Where's my Sheep? "My name is Mary."
"Oooh," one of the mice said, slapping one of the other's on the shoulder. "That little blonde, eh? What'd I tell you, Henry? She'd never be able to find her way out of a paper bag."
I tapped my foot, waiting.
"Well, sweetheart," one of them said in mock niceness. "Your house is right over there. We were just there." He pointed toward once that had a bundle of hay barely lit on the porch, and the grass was chewed down almost to the roots. Of course…I didn't even think of looking for that. Sheep liked hay and grass. And I'd been feeding him cat food all this time…
"Thanks," I said, walking away.
"Stupid and rude," I heard one of them say as I approached the porch. I ignored them and stepped gingerly past the scattered toys and food remains.
Now for a way to get in.
I wondered if her parents were home, there was no car parked in the driveway. Did she even have any parents? I hadn't seen anyone at the barbeque that seemed to have any control over her at all. Perhaps an orphan? Maybe she had her own fairy godmother? Well, who cared right now? She was a brat. I wanted my sheep back.
The door was unlocked! What the heck? I had only tried the knob in a mere attempt to know what my options were. I hadn't expected for it be open. Finally, a bit of luck!
It swung open without a sound. I found myself in a trailer that was almost identical to my own, except for the shades of red it was done in shades of light pink. Every piece of furniture, every decoration (though Mirror was absent), was exactly the same as mine except for the change of color.
Well, this made it easy.
And sure enough, there on the couch sat Mary, blonde curls in disarray, sheets in a twisted pile on the ground. I'd need to find Sheep and get out of here fast before she woke up to retrieve them.
It smelled horrible. Apparently, Mary didn't have a litter box for Sheep to use so she just let him go around the house. This became apparent with the…thing sticking to the bottom of my slipper.
Ugh.
I walked as carefully as I could (without groaning in disgust) in a circle around the couch, holding my breath as I passed in front of Mary. No sheep. From this I passed into the kitchen, searched in the drawers of the island, looked under the table, rocked the chairs, but he wasn't in the kitchen. I then went quietly into the bathroom, wondering if he had found another enemy in Mary's tub faucet.
"Orcas and blue," I heard her mumble from the couch. Not only was she annoying and restless, she talked in her sleep. I had pity for whatever fool decided to marry her. Well, I guess there's someone for everyone…
He wasn't in the tub, the sink, or stuck in the bathroom cupboards. I was becoming desperate. He had to be here somewhere. There was…evidence of him all over the place.
Only one place left…the bedroom.
I gazed over at Mary as I made my way from the bathroom down the hall to the single bedroom. She was still turning, muttering something new about dancing flamingos.
I put my hand on the rusty brass doorknob and turned.
I had been expecting the bedroom to be very similar to mine, so I was shocked when I opened the door and found them to be nothing at all alike. The walls were pasted with peeling flowered wallpaper, and hung watercolor paintings of petunias and what appeared to be animals. A twin bed devoid of blankets was shoved in the corner, protected by a white wooden nightstand topped with a rearing horse lamp. An empty bookshelf was pushed up against the wall, wobbly with one leg shorter than the others. I felt kind of sorry for the girl, she didn't live very well.
But…on second though…if as a little girl she could afford to live here, she must have enough money to keep good care of her stuff. Maybe she was lazy? I really didn't blame her, she was a little girl. What little girl wanted to take care of herself?
My confused thoughts were interrupted when I heard a hacking sound coming from the closet.
SHEEP!
I slid the closet doors open and there was sheep, standing in front of me, smiling and wagging his tale.
"SHEEP!" I exclaimed without thinking.
Oh crap…
I heard a loud coughing coming from the living room, followed by a confused groan mixed with a word that sounded like "Whatssat?"
Uh oh…
I grabbed Sheep by the collar and led him across the room to her bed. There wasn't enough space for both of us under there. In a frenzy, I ran back to the closet door and jerked it open, and the door came off of its panel and fell to the floor with a loud thunk.
Heavy footsteps were echoing down the hall, slowly approaching the bedroom door…
The window…it was open, and it was small, but we might be able to fit through it. I sprinted back to the bed and picked up Sheep with a groan. Ugh, he had gotten awfully heavy. Pressing my legs against the footboard of the bed, I shoved him halfway into the window, hoping he would get his hooves on the edge to jump down and not hurt himself. But of course, he didn't get the hint, and I accidentally shoved him in a bit too far.
I heard him bleating happily, probably amused at the current situation, and his tail wagged in my face. I gave him another push, but he didn't budge. I grabbed his feet, but he made a frustrated sound and pulled them out of my grasp. His tail wagged in my face. I felt a grain of wool go up my nose.
And I sneezed.
"What are you doing in my room?"
Uh oh…
My finger under my nose to keep it from running, I turned around slowly and grinned…uh…sheepishly. Mary stood in the doorway, her pink pajamas wrinkled, her blonde curls a fuzzy halo around her head. Her fists rested on her unformed hips, her eyebrows lowered to rest atop her eyelashes.
"Hi," I said curtly. I could feel the blood rushing to my face and Sheep's tail swiftly running back and forth into my back.
"And why are you stealing Lamb?"
Could I please be sincere? Please? This once?
I rolled my eyes. "Because I thought he would make a nice doorstop. I really enjoy the scent of sheep manure whenever I step into my house."
"Do you want him back that badly?" Mary replied, eyebrows still lowered, pinches of pink appearing on her cheeks.
"Curse…" I said, not allowing my voice to change in tone.
"Ah…" She paused. "I understand." The tone of her voice and the look in her eyes seemed like she was doing anything but understanding.
I couldn't help it, it just slipped out. "You just live so great…"
She sniffed. "I only live away from my parents while I'm going to school, and Robin Hood comes in once a week and cleans. He's my cousin, and my guarding thing during the school year."
So, she was a pig. She even had someone to clean for her, but she managed to completely total the house during the week. Poor Robin wasn't going to be happy when he came in next time.
"Well…" I started to say again.
"Shut up," she said, mouth working into a pucker. "If you want Lamb, stop talking."
Good deal.
She just stood for a minute in the doorway, arms crossed and tapping a foot. She had told me to stop talking…
"Oh," she said, suddenly realizing the silence. "You can have Lamb."
"What?" I said in surprise.
"Yeah." Her arms dropped to her sides. "It's starting to smell in here, and he kept coughing up hairballs on my bed. Just take him."
"Uh…okay…" I grabbed Sheep by the back hooves and gave him a pull before he could slip them out of my grasp. He came out of the window and plopped onto the soft bed with an angry bleat. "Thanks." I had managed to say it sincerely, instead of like I had a stick shoved up my butt. I was improving.
"Yeah…" She was silent for a minute, scratching one of her ears with enthusiasm. Finally, she said, "Uh…can you guys leave now? I want to go back to sleep."
"Oh…right."
Not able to wipe the smile off my face, I lead Sheep to the front door and waved a cheerful goodbye. Mary just frowned at me slammed the door in my face.
It was a good night.
Sheep trotted next to me as I began to walk home. Phase one of the plan was done, now I had to figure out a way to safely let the fairies know that I had stolen Sheep (they didn't need to know that I had actually failed, and he had been given back to me, instead), when I found out that I was standing right in front of the smoking trailer. The roads must have misread my thoughts and placed me here instead of back at my home.
The lights were on.
A flash of red suddenly blinded me and I put my arm in front of my face to protect my vision. I felt a stiff hand drag my arm down to my side and I saw the red fairy standing in front of me, skin glowing an iridescent crimson, shoulders slumped, eyebrows arched angrily, and hands in little fists at her side.
"GWEN KINK!" she exclaimed so loudly I could almost feel the earth shake under my feet. I looked around nervously, expecting to see the windows in the other trailers around me lighten, but they remained black. "HOW DARE YOU!"
"I…I…" I began to stutter, genuinely scared. Sheep gave a startled bleat and ran off, I hoped to my trailer.
"SILENCE! HOW DARE YOU STEAL A PET FROM A LITTLE GIRL?"
I decided to refrain from saying that the little girl had taken the pet from me, first.
The fairy stamped her foot, then looked beside me, a little bewildered. "Damn, he's gone." She sniffed and lifted her chin in a pompous fashion. "Well, that doesn't matter. It's you, blasted girl, that committed the crime. And it's you who must pay."
Yay!
"I hope you used you gift well for your songs in the past few days, because now I remove it from you!"
She wiggled her fingers and a feeling like ice crawled up my body. I shivered. She suddenly smiled warmly. "Have a good night."
Before I could say a word, she was gone.
"Hm," I shrugged my shoulders. "All right."
I knew what had to be done now. Not even allowing myself to think for another second, in case I tried to talk myself out of it, I sprinted for Andrew's office. What had to be done had to be done. And that had to be done now, before his blessing, his curse, his destiny, would come true.
"Hi," I said, a little stunned, trying to catch my breath and trying to not let him know that I had run here. The roads had apparently got bored and decided to have fun with me, so it had taken longer to get here than usual, and the cramp in my side was growing more painful with each breath. I didn't have to ask why he was at his office so late, looking so tired but always so gorgeous. He held a thick pile of tax forms in his left hand.
He also looked surprised, a little angry, and just a tiny bit frustrated. He leaned against the doorframe, looking like he was suppressing a yawn. "May I help you, Ms. Kink?"
"I like you," I said quickly, before I even had time to think. I had said it! Ha! "I like you. A lot. Before…the stupid fairies cursed me…I'll explain more later…but…I really like you. Probably even love…"
I caught myself off guard by leaning over and kissing him, right on the lips, and pulling away almost immediately as if he was some lowly toad.
He broke into a beautiful smile, standing up straight in the doorway, towering above me as a chestnut wave fell in front of his eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Yes," I nodded deeply, suddenly reminding myself of a pigeon. "I'm stupid. You should know that. I have a chronic disorder of…"
His tax forms had fluttered to the ground. I only had time to register the feeling of his arms around my waist when his lips had pressed to mine. I slung my arms around his neck and fell deep into the kiss, lost.
Hallelujah…
He broke away after what couldn't be any sooner than two minutes, but what only felt like a few seconds. He was frowning.
Crap, what had I done now?
"Gwen, there's something I have to tell you."
Uh oh.
"What is it, Andrew?" I said, welcoming his first…um…middle name back into my vocabulary.
"Gwen…" He took a deep breath and released me. "I…" He turned so I could only see his back. A very well-formed back. "Snow White and I were married yesterday afternoon."
I no longer had time to look at his well-formed back. I was running back to my trailer, my eyes stinging, my cramp increasing in pain and my breath ragged. I flung open the door and slammed it, sinking back against it to a sitting position on the ground. Sheep came over and laid down by my feet, immediately falling asleep. I didn't need to ask how he had gotten in. I didn't even care anymore.
"Gwen?" Mirror inquired gently from the wall.
I couldn't answer. I buried my face in my hands and cried for the first time in years.
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