Enough About the Tail, Already!

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Lady Lightningblade is pleased to bring you another rant by Seshoumaru.

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Yes, I have a tail. I marvel at your powers of observation. Someday, you may even notice your own nose. It may take a while though, unless someone points it out to you.

So what if my tail's fluffy? Why do you have to keep going on and on and on and on and . . . on and on about it? If you're that enchanted with fluffy tails, get a persian cat. They have fluffy tails, and they're much less likely to get sick and tired of hearing about said fluffy tails. Or if you ask very nicely, I know this demon who might be able to fit you with one of your very own! Wouldn't that be fun! You could stroke it all day and all night, and it would be very fluffy, I promise you.

And another thing, I am not the only demon in the world with a fluffy tail. They're all over the place, especially on dog demons. In fact, I know someone with a very fluffy tail whom you should talk to!

I know you all love my brother. He's cute, he's angsty, he looks good in pink, and he's got a much better reputation than I have, even if it is undeserved. Why don't you spend your time getting him out of that ridiculous pink outfit so you can see *his* tail which is even *fluffier* than mine? I know you want to see that! All big and white and fluffy! You like fluffy, right? You people make me sick!

Yes, Inu-yasha has a tail. Why do you think he wears that voluminous kimono? To hide the tail, of course! He's as vain as a swan and he's extremely embarassed about his big fluffy tail. (You would be too if your mother tied pink ribbons to your big, fluffy, white tail when you were small. Poor kid. At least my tail bows were gold, which is a fairly manly color, as opposed to pink. Not to say that I didn't tease him about it a little, but come on, stop trying to make me into a villain, because all kids are little demons, even those without genuine demon blood, so please give it a rest.) He tried tearing the cute, fluffy thing off once, but it just grew back. This would be the down side to demon blood, wouldn't it? The only reason the brat's thinking about going human full time is to get rid of the tail. You don't honestly think he cares about the girl, do you? You're giving the kid a little more credit than he deserves.

So, please transfer that ridiculous series of nicknames-- and shudder --over to the more deserving demon: my adorable, fluffy, little brother Inu-yasha. He won't even mind. I'm sure he'd love the attention. Hey! If you make enough of a fuss over him, maybe he'll even go demon full time, and he'll be as hot as I am and *still* have a fluffy tail, which will probably become even fluffier once he's a full demon.

Anyway, my point it this: don't call me If you must have a nick-name to call me by, Oh, God will do.

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