TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day
PAIRING: R/J
SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks but I'm no good at these things)
SPOILERS: None
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.
RATING: R (well, PG for now)
A/N: Okay, I just want to clarify something… This is above anything else a story about Rory and Jess, and their feelings for each other. So, I'll really focus on the two of them, but I won't tell you how this is going to end up (that wouldn't be any fun, would it?). But I really think that adultery is a serious thing so I definitely won't deal with this subject lightly…
Oh and sorry about the fact that in this story Rory's birthday is in April when in "reality" it's in October. Sorry I didn't check it before I started writing. Anyway, thanks for the reviews!
Chapter Two
*Thursday, 7pm*
Rory had had a long and tough day at work. She had got home an hour ago and taken a quick shower. She was so grateful that Pete was a good cook, if she had tried to come up with a dinner in such a short
time it would have been useless. Actually, all of her attempts for dinner were typically pretty hopeless.
The doorbell rang. Rory took a deep breath. Cate was nice and if her fiancé was anything like her, the dinner would be a success. A peaceful night with new friends, that was exactly what she needed.
Pete was still in the kitchen and so Rory went to the door. She opened it and was greeted by a smiling Cate.
"Hey, Rory!" she said and handed her a bottle of wine.
Rory took it from her smiling and then her gaze moved to the man standing next to Cate.
It was like travelling back in time. Rory felt like she was the same girl that seven years before was standing in front of this very same man and thinking that her life had just fell apart. He really couldn't be standing in front of her right now. It just wasn't possible that he was Cate's fiancé and that he was in her doorway. This really couldn't be happening. Rory felt an immense need to throw up or better yet, run like hell.
~Flashback~
"I think I'm gonna leave" his words were almost inaudible, fragile.
Sitting on the bridge, Rory stared into the water, it seemed strangely black. The wind made her shiver, or maybe it was his words. His arms were still around her, she was sitting in between his legs, leaning her back against his chest. She couldn't see his face, and she was glad he couldn't see hers. Rory blinked, please don't start crying, she tried to tell herself.
The silence continued. God, why can't I say something, Rory cursed to herself. She had known this was coming. When they had started college, she had hoped that Jess would have felt at home there. After a promising start, Rory had realised that it wasn't working. Sure, he had done well and his grades had been good, but she knew him and she had seen that it wasn't his thing.
Rory took a deep breath and turned to look at him. It was dark, but being so close to him she could see the features of his face clearly. The look in his eyes was sad, remorseful, and full of pain. Rory knew he was hurting, and she didn't want to make this any harder by letting him see just how hurt she was, too. But of course Jess could see it. Nobody knew Rory like he did, he saw the pain and it made his pain ten times greater.
"When?"
Rory needed to know, but at the same time she really didn't want to know.
"The end of the summer"
The end of the summer, that meant he'd leave in three months, maybe even four. First Rory felt joy, she had feared that he was going to say he'd leave right away. Then the joy turned into confusion and perhaps even greater pain. They had three months together, and every time she'd look at him, she'd know that he'd be gone.
Rory shifted so that she could wrap her arms around him. He held her tightly on his and she looked into his eyes intensely. 'How can I live without him?' she asked herself. Finally Rory buried her face on his neck. She felt his fast pulse, and took a deep breath when he pulled her even closer to himself.
~End of flashback~
"I guess you two know each other?"
Cate's energetic voice startled Rory and she turned to see her new colleague trying to get some control over herself. Then she heard Pete's voice.
"Hey there!"
Rory took a step backwards when Pete walked past her to their guests.
"I'm Pete Crawford, Rory's husband"
Rory wanted to get away, she needed to get herself together and she had no idea how she'd be able to do it.
Pete stretched his hand out to Cate who smiled at him cheerfully.
"Cate Zambrotta. And this is my fiancé, Jess Mariano"
Rory didn't see the look on Pete's face, but she knew he recognised the name and of course he'd seen photos of Jess. She looked at the two men, who were staring at each other confused and uncomfortable.
"Jess Mariano?" Pete said and took a quick look at Rory.
It wasn't hard to notice she was upset although she was trying to look as normal as possible. Pete didn't really know what to say or do. It seemed that everyone standing in the doorway were completely mixed up, with the exception of Cate who was still smiling and looking at the others somewhat curiously.
"Well, nice to meet you, Jess"
Pete reached out his hand. Rory looked at him and then her gaze turned toward the other man. Jess. He hadn't yet said a word, but right now he seemed a lot calmer than a few minutes before. His eyes locked with Rory's for a second, then he looked at Pete and managed to bring a smile on his face.
"You too, Pete" he replied when they shook hands.
Rory hadn't heard his voice in years, it was the same, maybe a bit lower. She closed her eyes for a second and tried to get her brain functioning again. This was not the moment to freeze, she needed to act normally. Somehow she got her legs moving again and stood beside Pete.
"It's been a long time, Jess" she heard herself say so casually that it surprised even herself. She really didn't know where these sensible words were coming from
"Yea, it has" he replied and when he looked at her, Rory instinctively looked down.
"Well, come in, please" Rory finally said and smiled while Pete took Cate's coat and put it on the coatrack.
The four went into the living room. Rory's mind was racing, how did the place look, how did she look, and what was Jess thinking? Hadn't he known that she was Cate's new colleague?
"I realised right away that you were the Rory Jess had talked about, so I thought I'd surprise you two" Cate said when they'd sat down.
Rory smiled at her and was glad to find herself talking rationally again, although she still wasn't sure what made her say these things when there wasn't really a clear thought in her mind right now.
"Yea, well, I was really surprised. So, Jess didn't know about this either?"
Rory glanced at him quickly and he shook his head.
"No, I didn't know anything. Cate is full of surprises"
"It seems so" Pete said and chuckled slightly.
"I simply couldn't believe it when I heard your name, Rory. I thought it had to be you, I mean the name is so rare and everything" Cate said. "And when you said you were from Stars Hollow, I was sure"
"I guess there's gonna be a lot of catching up to do tonight" Pete said smiling and then got up. "Why don't I go and get us all a glass of wine before dinner?"
No amount of wine is going to make this situation less hell-like, Rory thought to herself, hoping that she had managed to keep the calm look on her face despite of her thoughts.
"Sounds good" Cate said when Rory stood up to go and help her husband.
"We'll be right back, make yourselves comfortable" she said smiling faintly and before disappearing in to the kitchen.
As soon as Rory had got out of the room, she felt tears coming into her eyes. Pete's back was facing her while he was opening the wine bottle and Rory went to get the glasses from the cupboard.
"You okay?" Pete asked with a rather strained voice and turned to see Rory.
Rory lifted her hand to touch her hair so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She nodded not being able to say anything. She didn't understand how she got this emotional, she shouldn't have reacted this way.
"You sure?" he asked again.
"Yea" Rory sighed and she was convinced he could hear the tears in her voice.
She coughed slightly and took a deep breath. Get a grip, she told herself and when Pete poured the wine in the glasses she managed to give him a weak smile.
"It's gonna be an interesting night" she said to him and kissed his cheek lightly before taking two glasses
and going to the living room.
*10.00pm*
Dinner was good. It was always good when Pete made it. There had been a lot to talk about, so much had happened in the past seven years. Rory wasn't too eager to talk about herself and Jess had seemed pretty quiet, too. But Cate was as talkative as ever and Pete had been his usual chatty-self, too. In the end the dinner had gone well, at least considering the circumstances.
After dinner others moved to the living room again, but Rory stayed in the kitchen for a minute to prepare some light snacks. Actually, Pete had really made them earlier, she was just putting on the finishing touches.
Rory had felt incredibly uncomfortable talking about her life. She had tried to be quick, telling her life story with as few words as possible. Jess already knew that she had gone to Yale, after all they had been together for Rory's first year in college, and Jess's only year in college. Rory had told them about her career at NBC, and finally about her marriage with Pete. Years ago, she hadn't imagined a situation like this. That she would be telling Jess how she got married to another man, and that Jess would be listening to her with his fiancée.
Even weirder that telling him about her life, was listening to him talking about his. When he had left the US, he had gone to South America. Well, Rory already knew that but everything after that was new to her. She hadn't heard from Jess after the day he'd left, they'd agreed that it would be easier that way. Afterwards he had gone to Europe. He'd studied, worked and met Cate.
"Can I help?"
She heard his voice and her heart jumped up to her throat. She had loved that voice. It had took her three years to get over the man whom that voice belonged to. Rory turned around and saw Jess standing in the doorway. The kitchen was pretty dim, just a few lights by the counter so he looked strangely unreal. Then again, right now, everything seemed unreal for Rory.
"Thanks, but I'm fine" she said quietly
He nodded slightly. Rory didn't know what he was thinking. She didn't know that he was just as shocked as she was. He had had no idea that he would see Rory tonight, he hadn't been sure if he'd ever see her again. He had been caught completely off guard.
Jess took a step closer to Rory and she felt a need to back further away. She was really trying to remain calm and act as normally as possible, but she knew she was doing a lousy job at it.
"This is really… weird" she said finally and turned her back at him looking again at the snacks on the counter.
"I know. I'm sorry, if I'd known that you were… you…"
"Yea, I guess a warning would have been good for both of us" Rory said smiling slightly
Jess nodded and said that the reason Cate hadn't said anything to either of them was that she didn't really know too much about their past.
"I've told her about you, but not… She knows we dated for a few years, but doesn't really know how… serious it was"
Serious, that was the word he used to describe our relationship, Rory thought to herself
"It's hard to believe that it's been seven years" she said turning to look at him again
"Yea, it really is" he said and he smiled.
He hadn't smiled all night, at least not in a very comfortable way. But now, he really smiled, and it made Rory feel like crying and smiling at the same time.
"Will you help me with these, please?" Rory asked and when Jess came to her, she could smell his aftershave. It was the same he had had all those years ago, and it was still as good.
Jess took the plate from the counter and took it with him to the living room. Rory walked after him, but stopped in the doorway to look at him more observantly. He looked pretty much the same as before, his hair was a bit shorter and his clothes a bit more grown up. But he still looked like himself, laid-back and casual. The biggest difference in him was that although he had never really looked like a boy, now he was most definitely a man.
"This looks delicious, Rory" Cate said when she saw her standing further away
"I can't take any credit for that" Rory replied laughing and went to sit on the couch next to Pete. "Pete's the one around here who's in charge of everything involving food, with the exception that I do most of the eating in our household"
"So, Jess's uncle has a diner in the town you're from, isn't that right?" Cate asked Rory and she nodded
"Yea, Luke is actually living with my mom these days" Rory said and looked at Jess. "I'm not sure if you knew that. I mean, you haven't been in contact with Luke, right?"
"I know he's with Lorelai" Jess said and looked rather serious. "I only talked to him once after I left, and that was a few years ago"
"Well, we definitely have to go and visit your uncle, Jess!" Cate cried out and Rory looked up feeling the adrenaline in her veins. If her mother got together with Jess and his fiancée, it wouldn't end well. "We could all go to Stars Hollow some weekend, couldn't we? I'd see where you spent your teenage years and I'd meet your uncle and Rory's mom… Oh, that would be great!"
Jess smiled at Cate slightly and said that they might do that some time.
"But let's just get settled in here first. Then we can think about relatives and stuff like that"
He really didn't want to go to Stars Hollows. He remembered the day he'd left way too well.
~Flashback~
Jess and Luke were standing on the porch of the Gilmore House. Jess and Rory had spent the weekend in Stars Hollow and now they were heading toward Rory's flat. Jess was leaving in two days, and they had wanted to spend that time alone.
Luke sat down on a bench and looked at Jess warily.
"You're sure?"
Jess didn't look at him, he just nodded slightly. Was he really sure? He didn't know.
Jess put his hands in his pockets when the door opened and Lorelai stepped out. The expression on her face was tense.
"Jess"
"Lorelai"
"Rory's just about ready"
"I've got coffee for the drive" Luke said holding up a thermos in his hand.
"How considerate" Lorelai said, her voice filled with sarcasm
Rory walked out, with a bag in her hand. She looked at her mother, Luke and Jess standing on the porch silently. Then she smiled at Jess.
"I'm gonna take this to the car" she said, apparently wanting to give Jess and Luke more time to say goodbye.
"We better get going" Jess said and turned to Luke.
"Can't wait to get away, I see" Lorelai said, but Jess tried to ignore her reaching out his hand toward Luke.
"Take care, Luke" his voice was firm and determined
Luke shook hands with him and then pulled him closer for a quick hug. Rory walked back to the porch and went to give her mother a hug.
"I'll come by in a few weeks, mom" she said as casually as she could. "Bye Luke"
"Bye Rory" he said also trying to seem relaxed, with no success. "Bye Jess"
"Bye Luke, Lorelai"
Jess looked at Rory and took her hand in his. They walked toward the car when Rory squeezed his hand slightly. He looked at her and the look in her eyes was full of affection.
~End of flashback~
*Thursday, Midnight*
Rory had gone to bed right after Cate and Jess had left. Pete had just finished packing for his trip to Washington when he climbed next to Rory. He wasn't sure if she was already sleeping.
"Rory?" he whispered, but got no response.
He knew all about Rory and Jess. He knew that it had taken Rory years to get over him. He knew that she had practically worshipped him and that when he had left it had crushed her. Pete was worried, Rory had seemed really upset at first, but in the end, the evening had turned out okay. Everyone had become more relaxed and Pete had to say that Cate and Jess were really nice people.
Pete kissed Rory's cheek cautiously, and then rolled on his side and turned down the light on his nightstand. Rory lied still, but when the light was no longer on she opened her eyes and stared into the darkness.
A/N: And so their paths crossed again… Please review!:)