TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.

RATING: R

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, I really enjoyed reading all of them, especially I was glad to see that some had really put time and effort into the review. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it!:) The Shakespeare quote in the last chapter was from Sonnet 116, I'll quote the whole sonnet in this chapter.

So, chapter four has very little R/J interaction, this is mostly about people getting in touch with their feelings with a little extra added. Here it goes…

Chapter Four

*Rory and Pete's apartment, Wednesday 8pm*

Lane had arrived in New York in the afternoon and now Rory, Pete and Lane were just finishing dinner. There had been so much to talk about, Rory and Lane had been speaking so much that Pete had hardly had a chance to say a word. Lane's big news had been that she was thinking of buying half of the music store she worked at. The other owner was about to sell his part, and Lane was definitely considering the possibility of becoming the new owner very seriously.

"It sounds good and I think it'd be perfect for you, but it's a huge financial commitment" Rory said and looked at her friend seriously.

"Yea, it is and we've been talking a lot about it with Mark. But this a great chance, and Paul would be willing to sell his share to me. And business is great, we're doing better and better all the time. This is one thing I know about, and I really want to do this"

Rory smiled, she was definitely pleased to see her best friend this excited about something. Something else than the baby, that is. Rory hadn't asked Lane about the baby yet, she wasn't sure if that was a sore subject right now. But it was good to hear her talking about something completely different for a change.

Rory got up and took out the dessert, a delicious chocolate cake that she and Lane had picked up earlier from a nearby bakery.

"Ooh, looks good!" Pete said and stood up. "I think I'm gonna take a piece of this and head for the bedroom. I'll have a quiet night in front of the TV so you two can have your girltalks"

"That's so nice of you" Lane said giggling.

"But don't leave crumbs on the bed, I hate that!" Rory cried out after her.

"I know" Pete murmured and then grinned at his wife when he headed for the bedroom.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, meanwhile*

Jess was sitting in front of his computer. He was trying to work on an article, but it didn't seem to be coming together.

"Jess?" Cate peaked into the room and he replied murmuring something absentmindedly.

"Mel from work just stopped by. We're gonna go out and catch a movie"

Jess looked at Cate and then nodded.

"Yea, I've met Mel. At Rory's when I took your papers to her" Jess added after seeing Cate's curious face.

"Well, come and entertain her while I change. I'll only be a minute"

He got up and while Cate went to change her clothes, Jess saw Mel sitting in the living room.

"Melanie" he said and smiled at the woman who stood up after seeing him.

"Jess. I hope you don't mind me dragging Cate away"

"Of course not" Jess said and they both sat down again. "Would you like something to drink or…?"

Mel shook her head saying she was just fine.

"I really wanted to get out tonight and usually Rory and I go out to the movies, but now her friend Lane is staying with her… But I guess you know Lane, too?"

Jess nodded again, thinking way back to the times when he, Rory and Lane had spent a lot of time together. He asked Mel how Lane was doing and she filled him in on Lane's life.

"So, how do you feel about being back?" Mel asked after Cate had cried out that she was just about ready.

"It's weird" Jess admitted with a smile.

"Seven years is a long time"

"Yea, it is" Jess said and noticed how serious Melanie seemed.

"A lot has changed since…" Melanie didn't need to say anymore, they both knew what she meant and Jess nodded. "But some things never change"

Just them Cate entered the room again, and Mel stood up smiling at her. Jess stared at Melanie, he was confused, he wasn't quite sure about what had just happened.

"I won't be too late, honey" Cate said and kissed Jess quickly.

"Okay. Have fun" he said and smiled at the girls who left the apartment.

After the door had closed behind them, Jess went back to his study. He turned on a lamp on his desk and sat down. "Some things never change" he said to himself remembering the words Melanie had just said to him. He rubbed his face. He knew some things never changed. But everything else had changed.

*Rory and Pete's apartment, 11pm*

Lane was lying on the couch and Rory was sitting on the floor. They had been talking constantly, and they were both pretty exhausted by now.

"Lane?"

"Yea?" she replied and yawned simultaneously

"How is the…" Rory wasn't quite sure how to ask the question, but Lane knew what she was trying to say.

After a silence, Lane turned her gaze from Rory and stared at the ceiling for a while

"We're still trying"

"Even though you're thinking of buying the store? I mean, it's such a huge risk and a baby at the same time…"

"It doesn't look like there's gonna be a baby anytime soon" Lane sighed and then sat up on the couch. "I know you think this is… I know we're in no hurry, but I really want a baby and so does Mark. I just… I'm scared that it's never gonna happen, Rory"

"A year is a short time in things like these. There's no reason to be desperate"

"My gynaecologist said that we should both get tested, to make sure everything okay"

Rory nodded saying that it was a good idea. She was sad to see friend in so much pain, she was sad to realise that there was nothing she could do for her.

"So, you and Pete are still on the 'no children –zone'?"

Rory fell on her back on the floor and now it was her turn to stare at the ceiling. She had always thought that she'd want children, it had been a natural thing. But after she'd met Pete, and when they got married she had become more and more sure of the fact that children weren't in the cards for her. She didn't feel like she needed a child and Pete was pretty much on the same lines with her on the subject.

"We're pretty pleased with the way things are now"

"Yea, it's weird how people are so different and want so different things out of life"

Great, now she reminded me of Jess and me, Rory thought to herself. Lane noticed to look on her face and she asked what Rory was thinking about.

"I just thought about Jess. How we were so different"

"And still so similar" Lane said and smiled slightly.

Rory sat up again and looked at Lane. Her words made her take a deep breath. It seemed that since Jess had been back, everything revolved around him. Everything reminded Rory about him, whatever she did there were constant reminders about her relationship with Jess.

"You think he was happy? With me" Rory asked, at the same time regretting that she had asked the question. In the end, it didn't matter now, did it? 

"You know he was happy with you, Rory. I know you doubted it sometimes after he'd left, but anyone who saw you two together would have said that you were happy together"

Rory smiled a bit, it was intuitive, and it didn't go unnoticed by Lane. She asked Rory if she wanted to talk about the new Jess situation she simply shook her head.

"There's really nothing to talk about. At first I was shocked, but now I'm just fine. Glad to see he's doing so well. Actually, he came by the other night and I told him he should come and get his books back"

"You think he'll take them back?"

"He needs to" Rory said pensively. "I think I need to give them back to him, it would bring final closure to this thing"

"You don't have closure yet?" Lane's voice was wary and quiet. This was not a subject she and Rory had talked about often. Lane could count their conversations about Jess after he'd left with the fingers of one hand. Jess had not been a subject Rory had wanted to discuss. 

"Of course I have" Rory said and the tone of voice was surprisingly tense. "I just want him to have his books back, I know he loves them"

Lane nodded and soon both girls decided to head for bed. Rory had to work in the morning and Lane had made plans to see one of her college friends for lunch. Lane was sleeping in the guestroom, which was also Pete's study. The room was tiny, but the sofa bed was comfortable.

When Rory got to bed, Pete was already asleep. Rory was pretty tired, too, but still she didn't want to go to sleep yet. She kept thinking about Lane's words. She had closure, that's what she had been telling herself and everyone around her since Jess had been back. She'd kept saying that it was just shock, and she was fine. It didn't really matter that Jess was back, she had moved on and so had he. Yea. Rory hadn't seen him since he had stopped by last Saturday. She had found it difficult to be with him, and she had been glad when he left. But all week, she'd been walking around waiting to bump into him. She'd been waiting for him to come and meet Cate at work, but he hadn't. Rory closed her eyes when the thing she'd been trying to block out of her mind made it's way through.

She was lying on her side, when she felt Pete turning and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Awake?" he whispered and she turned to look at him.

It was dark, the shades on the window kept even the tiniest rays of moonlight outside. Rory was lying on her back, when Pete moved closer to her and let his hand travel across her chest. Rory turned to look at the ceiling, then she closed her eyes.

"Lane's here" she murmured back to him

"It doesn't matter" Pete said and shifted himself so that he was straddling Rory between his arms. "We're not that loud"

"Honestly, it'd be weird with Lane here" Rory said and pecked his cheek quickly. "Anyway, I was just thinking that I could finish some work now"

"In the middle of the night?" Pete's voice was a bit harsh

"That way I'd be able to leave work earlier tomorrow. I really wanna make the most of having Lane here. When she'd gone, you'll have me all to yourself again"

Pete looked at Rory for a while and then lied beside her again. Rory sat up and said she'd probably work for an hour or so.

"You just go back to sleep" she said when she got up quietly and went to her study closing the door silently after her.

Rory sat down in the dark room, she didn't want to turn on any lights. For a while she did nothing, then she got up and went to the shelves where all of Jess's books were. She browsed through them and then picked a copy returning to the comfortable armchair. She opened the book and easily found exactly what she'd been looking for.

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."

~Flashback~

"I don't understand why no one reads Shakespeare anymore" he said when he pulled on his jeans.

His hair was wet, he'd just come from the shower.

"Anymore? I bet that next you were gonna say that back in the old days people still had respect for the literary genius of Shakespeare" Rory smirked as she sat on the side of the bed.

She looked at Jess who smiled at her and then continued rummaging through his bag. Rory was still looking at him attentively and then smiled mischievously when she said

"But as much as I agree with you on the fact that Shakespeare was a literary genius, I'd have to say that right now I'm sort in the mood for Bukowski"

Jess stopped whatever it was that he was doing and turned to see Rory silently. Then he walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Before Rory even knew what had happened, he'd pushed her on her back and climbed on top of her. She looked at him, and without any hesitation she pulled his mouth to hers.

While kissing him passionately, her hands were right away on his belt buckle and after getting rid of the belt, Rory went for the buttons of his jeans. Jess slowed down their pace by pulling a bit further away and then kissing her bottom lip gently. Rory closed her eyes lifting her hands to his bare waist, letting his pants alone for a minute. Jess's lips teased hers, refusing to kiss her properly again. Slowly he moved his mouth to her earlobe, nibbling on it carefully and then pulling himself off her so he could look at her properly. Rory's hair was loose, she was wearing only a pair of his boxers and an old t-shirt, his old t-shirt. He tugged at the hem of the shirt and she lifted her upper body so that he could pull it off her. As she laid down on the bed again, he leaned down to kiss her newly exposed chest.

Rory's hands wandered to his hair again, they were always there. His lips moved on her skin, slowly moving down until they found the waistband of her boxers. Automatically Rory lifted her hips so that Jess had an easy job getting rid of them. Rory took a strong grip of his arm and pulled him up to cover her. Jess looked at her, when he held himself up so that Rory could finish opening his jeans and then pushing them down along with his boxers. Jess looked at her and then helped her get rid of his clothing. Then he froze, just looking at her, until Rory smiled vaguely and pulled him down to kiss her.

Jess was lying on top of her, resting most of his weigh on his arms. He wasn't moving, he just looked at her. And Rory looked at him. He was too much for her, she knew it. The way he made her feel was too much, it wasn't something she could fully grasp, and above all it wasn't something that could be put into words. 

His body was warm, it was familiar and Rory loved every inch of it. He rested his forehead on hers and Rory gasped when she suddenly felt him inside her. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her legs around him, and he trapped her arms forcing them down to the bed. He was leaning on his elbows as his hands took a hold of Rory's. He buried his face on her neck, she could feel his warm breath on her skin. She could feel his skin against hers. She could feel him moving inside her, against her. His hands were holding hers.

Their movements were rhythmic, coordinated and so instinctive. Jess's lips caressed her neck, moved to her earlobe while she moved more forcefully against him.

It was moments like these when the desperation was overwhelming. He was so close to her, they were entwined together and it was just as is should be. And she knew it would end. Soon he'd be so far away that she couldn't even comprehend it.

Jess let go of Rory's hands and moved his behind her back. Intuitively she wrapped her arms around his back and lifted herself slightly. In one swift motion they were sitting up and against each other. A small cry escaped Rory's throat as she rested her head against his neck and pulled him even closer to her. Jess's arms were around her, he was so close to her that she felt she couldn't breath. 

Rory was sitting on his lap with her legs around him. While they were moving against each other Rory really had to remind herself every once in a while to breath. Then he took his arms from around her and grabbed her face roughly forcing her to look at him. Rory opened her eyes only to see the look in his when he once again draped his arms around her. Rory couldn't look at him, she couldn't look into his eyes. His lips found hers again and she felt his heartbeat against her chest. She wanted to cry.   

 

*3am*

Pete got up and went to the door of Rory's study quietly. He'd woken up to find her still missing from his side. When he opened the door to her room, he found her curled up in the armchair, her arms around her legs and her head resting against the side of the chair. Somehow she looked tiny, angelic, and innocent. Pete stood there watching her, breathing peacefully in her sleep. He was restless, and he didn't know to do about it. He'd been afraid to talk to her about it, he was still hoping that there was nothing to be restless about. He was still hoping that he was wrong.

~Flashback~ 

"Is this the worst idea in the world?"

Lane turned to see him and the expression on her face was serious. Pete sat down on the bench and Lane leaned against one of the pillars on the porch.

"Why do you think it is?" she asked him quietly.

"I don't know"

"Pete" her voice was determined, she wanted him to be honest and tell her the truth.

"I'm gonna ask her to marry me, because I love her and I know she loves me. But there's a voice in the back of my head asking that one question, does she still love him like she did before?"

"You've already taken a chance with her. Think of how she's changed in these two years, and it's because of you. You made her live again when no one else could do it"

"But if she still loves him like that. I don't know what they were like together, because she doesn't talk about him, but the way she was after he'd left… He had this incredibly strong hold on her, and I'm not at all sure it's over"

"She's happy with you, Pete. She loves you. She loved Jess, too, but things are not the way they were before. You make her happy, and I know she makes you happy"

"So you think I should propose?"

Lane looked at him. She nodded.

~End of flashback~

Pete thought that she would be sore in the morning for sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. But he didn't want to wake her up either, so he just got her a blanket and carefully covered her with it. Returning to the bedroom, he couldn't go back to sleep. He lied awake, feeling he had lost control. He had no control over his life, he had no control over anything. He just had to wait. And he hated it.

A/N: Chapter five: confrontations. And please keep the feedback (good or bad) coming, it makes me ten times more motivated to write and update!:)