TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.

RATING: R (PG again)

A/N: I'm really trying to get this story finished before mid-June, cause that's when I'll be heading toward Italy and I don't want to have this unfinished when I leave. Personally I hate it when people sometimes don't update their stories for ages. Then again, I'm a very impatient person..;) And to your luck my summer holiday starts next week, so I should be able to start updating more frequently!

Again, I'm really thankful for your reviews, I read them over and over again to make sure I haven't missed anything you've wanted to tell me. Only one thing bothers me, some people reviewed the first or the second chapter but haven't sent feedback after that. That makes me think that you've stopped reading the story or just think it sucks. Anyway, if you recognise yourselves from this and if you are still reading then please tell me! Thank you!:)

This chapter revolves around Rory and Cate. No r/j interaction here, but soon there will be! Read and review!!!

Chapter Six

*Friday, noon*

It was a beautiful day. Rory had left New York rather early in the morning so she was approaching Stars Hollow by midday. She had been really glad to get the day off work, a long weekend away from everything was just what she needed. When she drove through the town, she hoped that the change of scenery would make her see things more clearly. The fact was that she really needed the distance, from New York, from Pete, and from Jess.

Rory had had a tough week, actually a tough two weeks. Since Jess had been back, things had seemed so complicated. Everything had changed, in one night her whole life had seemed different. She had been happy until Jess came back, but now she was like a complete lunatic, an emotional lunatic. And she couldn't take it anymore, she had to do something about it.

When Rory parked the car on the driveway in front of her mother's house, she saw Lorelai's car parked there, too. Apparently her mother was also taking the day off and Rory smiled thinking of how surprised Lorelai would be to see her. After getting her bags from the trunk she walked to the house and had just reached the porch when Lorelai ran out of the house to hug her.

"What are you doing here? I'm so glad to see you! When I saw you through the window I thought it just couldn't be you! Do you realise it's been ages since we've last seen each other!"

Rory hugged her mother tightly and laughed at her outburst. When Lorelai grabbed her bags and they went into the house Lorelai demanded an explanation to Rory's arrival.

"You just said a few days ago that you and Pete were going to stay home for your birthday"

"Well, he had to go to Washington after all, so I decided to come here. I needed a change" Rory replied and walked after her mother to her old room where they put her bags.

"This is so much fun" Lorelai squealed and made Rory look at her smiling. "What do you say if we start celebrating your birthday right now?"

"That would mean lunch at Luke's?" Rory said lifting her eyebrow and then grinned when her mother nodded excitedly.

"Luke is gonna be so happy to see you're home for the weekend" Lorelai sighed with a smile and dragged Rory out of the house.

It was definitely spring. Stars Hollow was at its best, the air smelled of spring and everyone seemed to be smiling. Rory was without a doubt feeling better than in ages. She felt like the pressure she'd been feeling in the past weeks had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt more like her old self again, calm and sure of herself. For the next few days she had a chance to escape everyone's prying eyes that were trying to figure out her feelings. 

In fact, Rory hadn't told her mom or Luke about Jess yet, about the fact that he was back. Rory hadn't wanted to go through the subject with them, it was hard enough when everyone else in her life was talking about it constantly. But this weekend she had to tell her mom and especially Luke. Rory thought to herself that Luke would be really pleased to have Jess back in his life, after all Jess was the only family he had, outside Lorelai and Rory of course.

While walking toward the diner, Lorelai babbled about everything that had happened in Stars Hollow since Rory had last been there. Rory listened to her laughing occasionally and enjoyed the sun warming her face. When the mother and daughter finally entered the diner, Luke came to hug Rory with a wide smile.

"I didn't know you were coming" he sounded pleased

"I though I'd surprise you" Rory replied smiling and settled beside the counter.

"Pete with you?" Luke said as he took Rory and Lorelai's orders, but Rory shook her head as a reply.

Luke and Pete got along well. It was definitely clear that whenever Rory came to visit and Pete was with her, Luke enjoyed the company of another guy. And who wouldn't, especially when the two Gilmore women were as energetic as they were.

While eating her lunch, Rory looked at her mother and Luke attentively. The really were a good pair, a funny pair and pretty unsuitable for each other, but still they seemed to be perfect together. Rory smiled to herself, when Luke came to pour her more coffee and Rory figured that she'd tell him and Lorelai that night. At dinner, she'd tell them that Jess was back.

*NBC, 1pm*

Cate was sitting by her desk, playing with a pen she had in her hand. She wasn't able to concentrate, she hadn't been able to concentrate all week. She'd been thinking about everything, everything that had happened lately, since they'd come to the US. Things had changed around her, at first she hadn't really even realised it. But now she knew something was different, she just wasn't really sure what had changed and why.

Eventually she got up and walked down the hall toward Mel and Rory's offices. The door to Rory's room was closed and the room was dark. Cate knew she had the day off and actually she had been waiting for a moment when Rory was away. Reaching Mel's door Cate knocked on it quietly and thought that she really needed to talk to Mel.

"Come in!" Mel said as she saw Cate who closed the door after her and sat down on a chair.

Mel babbled something about her work and Cate listened to her for a while, smiling occasionally. Then she got together the courage to ask the question she really needed to ask.

"Mel, I was wondering… Last weekend when we were all at Rory's you said something…" Cate stopped for a while and

Mel looked at her curiously. "It's probably nothing, but you said that Rory had changed Jess" Cate concluded and looked down nervously.

Mel nodded and said that she didn't really know anything about it because she hadn't known Jess when he'd been with Rory. It was only from Lane and Rory that she'd heard about Cate's fiancé.

"Well, do you know if they were serious? Jess and Rory, I mean. Were they just dating or…"

Mel sat in her chair, the tense expression on Cate's voice told her all she needed to know. She was slowly starting to see the situation she was in. Mel sat up properly and then asked Cate why she hadn't talked to Jess about this.

"He doesn't like to talk about his past or himself" Cate said and smiled a bit. Jess was a mystery, even to her. She'd known it all along, his unwillingness to talk about his life and himself were things she'd accepted when they got together. They were a part of his charm. But the mystery did come with a price, it meant that if Cate wanted to know something, she had to ask. And it wasn't easy. "He's only mentioned Rory a few times before we came here and he never made it sound like it was anything serious so I didn't think… But then you said she'd changed him and I guess they are slightly awkward around each other when I really think about it and…"

"I think you should talk to Jess" Mel said and looked at Cate kindly. "These things are always so complicated and difficult, and after all they are none of my business"

Cate looked at her with her eyes full of hesitation. Mel found it hard to see her like this, she didn't want anyone to get hurt. But in the long run, this was for the best, for everyone. She was sure of it.

"So there is something I need to hear?" Cate's voice was so different from what it usually was. It wasn't strong and sure, but instead timid and quiet.

Mel nodded and right away Cate got up.

"Thanks, Mel" she said and after giving her a vague smile she left the room without another word.

Mel leaned back in her chair and sighed. This was going to be a tough time for all of them.

*Stars Hollow, 6pm*

Rory was sitting on the bridge, dangling her legs near the water. The air was getting cooler, but the sun still warmed her face nicely. She had her eyes closed, just enjoying the fact that summer was approaching, at last.

Rory liked being on her own. She had always liked it, it seemed the best way to clear her head whenever things were troubling her. Of course talking to her friends or her mother always helped, but sometimes being alone was the best way to get things sorted out.

Jess had been back in her life for two weeks. It was a really short time, but it seemed like an eternity right now. Thinking about it, after getting some distance to the matter, Rory was – thankfully - able to see the whole picture more clearly.

The fact was that she had been happy with Pete. Sure she'd been incredibly unhappy when Jess had first left, sure she hadn't been able to move on for three years, but then she'd met Pete. It hadn't been love at first sight, it hadn't been the kind of love it was with Jess. It had been friendship that slowly developed into something more. And Rory loved Pete. He made her feel safe and loved. And he made her laugh. Rory had been together with him for four years. They knew each other well, Pete knew all about Rory, he knew all about Jess. Well, maybe Pete didn't know that Rory still thought about Jess. It was hard not to think about him. She had really loved Jess, he had been the centre of her world for two years. Well, he'd been the centre of her world for a few more years after that. Rory had been worried about him, she hadn't known if he was alive or dead, or if he was alone of if he'd found someone. Someone else.

Rory brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She remembered back to the time when Pete proposed to her, it had been a tough choice to make. It had meant letting go of the past, letting go of Jess, at least of the hope that he might be back. Rory had never regretted the choice she'd made. She had been happy and she knew that Pete had been happy, too. But then Jess had been right in front of her. And everything had changed.

Rory opened her eyes, it was miraculous that the place was just the same as all that time ago. She looked around, years ago she would have seen Jess walking to her, sitting down behind her, putting his arms around her. She would have leaned back and let him kiss her.

After a while Rory was starting to feel chilly and she got up to go home. Lorelai had asked Sookie to come and cook the dinner, Luke had even promised to close the diner a bit earlier than usual. While walking toward the house Rory thought that now she had to tell them the news.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, 8pm*

Jess was having dinner with his publisher and so Cate was spending the night alone. She was actually glad, she needed to think, although she didn't know what good it would do. She didn't know anything, so she shouldn't jump into conclusions, she told herself. If there was anything she'd realised after moving to New York was that she knew so little about Jess, she barely knew anything.

Cate went to the bedroom and lay down on the bed. She was feeling restless, she had nothing to do and Mel's serious face was haunting her. Eventually Cate rolled on her side and saw a book on the nightstand. It was Jess's book, literally, it was the novel he'd written. Cate picked it up and looked at it. She had read it before, it was a great book, a beautiful story. Jess had started writing it right after they'd moved together. He was definitely a great author and it was for sure that the book was going to be a success.

Cate leaned against the pillows and opened the book from the first page. She might as well read it again, perhaps get some insight into Jess. Although he'd said the book was in no way autobiographical, and it was very unlike Jess. The story was about emotions and a person's most innermost thoughts, when in reality Jess wasn't the kind of guy who talked about his feelings or his thoughts. The main character in the novel was an 18-year-old boy whose family was constantly on the move and who had never really managed to grow his roots anywhere. The boy fell in love with a girl, but was forced to leave her behind to follow his family and he struggled to find his place in the world without her.        

*Stars Hollow, the Gilmore House, 9pm*

Sookie had just brought the dessert to the table. While Lorelai looked at the cake in front of her with gleaming eyes Rory coughed slightly and said that she had some news. Hearing the nervous tone of her daughter's voice, Lorelai tore her gaze from the cake and turned to see Rory.

"There's something you should know" she said and tried to sound as calm as possible when she spoke.

Luke, Lorelai, Sookie and Jackson were all looking at her attentively and suddenly she felt a huge amount of pressure piling on her shoulders.

"This might be a shock to you, but… It's nothing bad" she hastily added when she saw the worried faces around her.

"Actually, I think you'll all be pleased to hear this, especially Luke"

Rory smiled a bit, and suddenly she heard Sookie's voice cry out

"You're going to have a baby!"

Everyone stared at Rory with wide eyes and Rory felt herself panicking, As if this wasn't hard enough as it was. She shook her head and tried to look reassuring.

"No, no, no! I'm not pregnant, no" she gasped and the others nodded taking a breath. "This isn't about me, it's about… It's about Jess. He's back"

A silence followed, a really long silence. Lorelai moved slightly in her chair, Luke looked really confused and Sookie and Jackson simply seemed to be waiting for someone else to say something first. As no one seemed ready to respond to Rory's words, Sookie smiled and asked how Rory knew he was back.

"Well, you see… We got a new employee at work, Cate, and it turned out that she's engaged to Jess. They met in Italy and they've just moved back to New York"

Again, no one responded and Rory continued explaining the situation to the others as neutrally as she could. Of course, leaving out the fact that her own mental status had altered dramatically after Jess's return.

"Jess is really back?" Luke said and smiled when Rory nodded at him. "He's okay?"

Rory nodded again and smiled at the relieved look on Luke's face. She knew he had been worried about his nephew.

"And he's engaged" Lorelai mumbled, more to herself that to anyone else.

"He and Cate will probably be heading here sometime. Jess said that they'd want to settle down in New York before coming. I think he needs to get up the courage to see you, Luke"

Luke nodded and Lorelai turned her focus to the cake again. Rory was pleased that it had been so easy to talk about Jess. However she knew that there was trouble ahead, she was sure that during this weekend, she'd have to talk to her mother about Jess. 

*11.30pm*

Rory was getting ready for bed. Luke had gone to bed earlier and Jackson had headed home some time ago, too. For a while she, Lorelai and Sookie had been talking, mostly about their respective spouses.

Rory climbed under the covers and looked around in the room. It was dim, she only had a little lamp on her nightstand. Her room was very much the same it had always been, the same desk, the same shelves and the same bed. It looked the same as years ago, and it had been years since Rory had last slept there. Usually whenever she and Pete came to Stars Hollow, they slept in the guestroom that Luke had made upstairs, it had a wider bed and somehow it seemed more appropriate. Rory thought that her old room wasn't really suitable for a married couple.

This room had memories. So much had happened here, she thought when she let her eyes wander about. Jess used to climb into her room through the window. Looking at it now, Rory could almost see him getting in. She smiled to herself and then laid her hand on the bed. This was the very same bed on which she and Jess had made love for the first time. It was a good memory. And on that chair they'd sat on when he'd told her he loved her for the first time. God, how was it possible that it had all happened almost ten years ago?

Rory felt something pressing on her chest and she lied down on the bed. It was Jess. He had always done this to her. He made her feel crazy, either deliriously happy or incredibly sad. With him, her feelings were strong, overwhelming. Sometimes Rory had wanted to throw up just because she loved him so much it hurt. Whenever she was with him, she wasn't in control of herself or her life. Pete never made her feel that way. Pete never made her feel desperation. With Pete, she was happy just being near him. With Jess, she couldn't get enough. Her relationship with Jess had been passionate and intense. 

Rory heard a knock on the door and then saw Lorelai peak in. She smiled at her mom who then stepped in.

"Just wanted to talk to you" Lorelai said and sat down on the bedside as Rory sat up properly herself.

"About Jess?"

Lorelai nodded and then looked at Rory seriously. They were both silent for a while.

"I've been going crazy. And I've been going crazy trying to hide the fact that I'm going crazy from everyone"

Rory looked at her mother, not sure of what Lorelai's reaction to her words would be. But Lorelai simply nodded again, she looked calm and reassuring, encouraging her daughter to continue.

"Everything is so different now. Everything seems to be revolving around Jess, everything reminds me of him"

"So, he hasn't changed much?"

Rory shook her head saying that he was pretty much the same as before, more grownup, but otherwise practically the same. Rory looked at Lorelai quietly for a moment, then she looked at her hands when she continued

"Mel thinks I still love him"

"Do you?" Lorelai's voice was so calm and neutral. It made it easier for Rory to talk about this.

"Jess and Pete are so different. And my relationships with them have always been so different"

Lorelai nodded, she knew exactly how intense the relationship between Rory and Jess had been. With Pete, Rory's life had become more tranquil and steady.

"When I saw him standing in front of me, it felt like he had never left. I've missed him so much, mom"

"I know you have. I know that you didn't accept Pete's proposal right away because you weren't sure if you could let go of Jess. But I thought you had"

"That was two years ago, he'd been away for five years. I figured he wasn't going to come back"  

"But he did" Lorelai concluded as she listened to her daughter calmly. She was trying to keep her emotions out of her face so that Rory would have an easier time opening up to her. She looked serene on the outside, on the inside she was restless.

"Mel said that I should be grateful that I've been given a second chance"

Lorelai nodded. She liked Mel, she was a great person, a great friend to Rory. Mel had gone through a lot in her life, but still she managed to enjoy everything she did.

"Mel knows what she's talking about" Lorelai said quietly, making Rory look at her intensely. "Do you want to take the chance?"

"I love Pete. He's made me happy. But Jess is... He's Jess"

Lorelai knew what Rory meant. She didn't need to say anymore.

"And how does he feel? He is engaged"

Rory shook her head saying that she didn't know. "It hurts seeing him with Cate, it hurts to think that he loves her now. Still, when he looks at me… I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining it"

"You think he still loves you?"

Rory looked at her mother, she didn't say yes or no. She just stared at Lorelai, who sighed quietly.

"You're married, Rory. And he's engaged. I guess I don't need to tell you that this situation is really difficult"

Rory shook her head and looked rather miserable.

"But I'm really glad to be here, mom"

"It's good to have you here" Lorelai replied smiling and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Everything will turn out okay, Rory"

Lorelai left the room and closed the door behind her. She climbed upstairs and then cuddled close to Luke in bed. She looked at him and sighed when she thought about Rory and Jess.

*Jess and Cate's apartment, midnight*

Cate heard the door close when Jess came in. She immediately turned down the lamp on her nightstand and pretended to be asleep. She heard Jess walking silently to the bedroom watching her to see if she was already asleep. Then she heard him go to the bathroom and she shifted herself uncomfortably opening her eyes in the darkness.

As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt tears in them. She felt really alone right now, she felt really stupid right now. She should have known, at least she should have asked him to tell her more about himself. Her friends had been amazed at the fact that she knew so little about him, but she hadn't minded. She'd found the secretive side of him captivating, she had fallen in love with that mystery surrounding him.

Jess came from the bathroom and climbed to bed next to Cate. She could smell his aftershave and she wanted him to drape his arm around her. But he didn't, he rarely did. She shifted again slightly, so that her back was facing him. She opened her eyes again, looked at the book on the nightstand. It was all so clear right now. Jess had described the girl of the novel vividly, he had written down every detail. Cate could see her picture in her mind. It was a picture of Rory.