TITLE: The Harsh Light Of Day

PAIRING: R/J

SUMMARY: Rory's 27th birthday is approaching, and Jess, who seven years before left her life, suddenly enters it again. But things are very different from the way they were before… (yea, I know this summary sucks, but I'm no good at these things)

SPOILERS: None that I know of

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything you recognise from the show. Basically just the characters I've made up, e.g. Pete, Mel, Cate etc.

RATING: R (PG, once again)

A/N: First I want to say I'M SORRY!!! You've had to wait for this chapter for an eternity, I hope you've all been patient and still want to keep reading. So, I am back home in Finland, Italy was great, incredible, magnificent and just… Well, I love Italy. Now read this new chapter and please review. I desperately need to know that my writing hasn't become terrible while I've been away. This is a short-ish chapter, but there's more stuff coming soon, I promise..:)

Chapter Fourteen

*Saturday, 1pm*

Rory walked toward the diner rapidly. She stared ahead with a determined look on her face. No one could have guessed that it took all of her willpower to keep her feet going and she had to tell herself constantly not to throw up.

She pushed open the door to the diner and went to the counter. Luke came from the kitchen and Rory smiled at him.

"A burger?"

"Yea, thanks" Rory said and glanced around quickly.

"He's upstairs" Luke said as thought it was the most natural thing in the world to say to Rory, and then disappeared to the kitchen.

Rory knew that this was it. This was her chance, she had to do it now. She got up and went to the stairs. She looked at them for a while, then climbed up slowly and found the apartment door open.

Jess was sitting by the table, his back facing Rory. He was apparently just typing and Rory closed her eyes when she started to speak. 

"I'm sorry, Jess"

He got up instantly and turned to look at her. The look on his face made Rory want to run to him and hold him tightly. His eyes were filled with shock and surprise, and he looked really tired. They were both standing still, just looking at each other until Jess sighed quietly.

"What are you sorry about?"

Rory closed the apartment door after her and took a few careful steps closer to Jess, making sure they still had a sufficient distance between them.

"I don't know. I just… I'm sorry about everything"

The expression on his face didn't change. He just kept on looking at her, but eventually he nodded and she continued speaking

"Everything is just so crazy. I hadn't seen you for seven years and then you came back and absolutely everything changed. And I don't know anything about anything… I don't…" the words had simply floated out of her mouth, but now she knew she had only one thing to say. "Now I don't know what you're thinking or how you feel"

Jess saw the most beautiful woman that had ever exited on the face of the earth standing before him. She was looking at him after all these years, giving him hope when he had given up ages ago. He had so much to say, but it seemed impossible to start talking. How was he to tell about is feelings now, after all the time that had passed and everything that had happened?

"I don't… I think this is the hardest thing in the world to talk about. Did you… get the book?"

"It was beautiful, Jess" Rory said quickly and then smiled. "I mean, you were always a good writer, but this was incredible… I can't even begin to tell you how I felt while reading it. And I thought that I have to come to you, and… And I came here and I didn't have the courage to do that"

Jess didn't know what to say. He didn't know where to begin, and that's why he'd sent the book.

"Everything I'm feeling and thinking is in the book" he said quietly, feeling that he had bared his soul out to her. "And the only thing I know right now is what I feel. But I don't know what to do, or say"

Rory took a step closer to him. Her heart was beating incredibly fast, being so close to him, finally talking to him. And everything he said was true. She knew how she felt, too, but she didn't know what to do or say. But then she realised that there was something to say, she could tell him the truth in its simplest form.

Again she stepped closer, now she was standing just a foot away from him. She looked into his eyes, feeling overwhelmed by everything. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, her words were soft and quiet and even more importantly honest.

"I've never missed anyone as much as I miss you" Rory said and her voice cracked slightly.

The silence seemed to last an eternity. After she had said the words, she had just stared at him, scared and hopeful. But he didn't say anything, he just kept looking at her, but still not showing any emotions. And the silence continued until they both jumped. His cellphone. How was it possible for his cellphone to ring? At a moment like this.

Jess turned to look at his phone and picked it up from the table.

"I have to answer this, it's my editor" his voice was quiet and somewhat gruff, his eyes now seemed to avoid contact with hers.

Rory nodded and took a step back. She looked at Jess who answered the call and then turned to the table to look at some papers. That was it, the moment was gone. The courage she had had when she'd come to him disappeared and she was left standing there, insecure, just wanting to get away.

She walked to the door and turned to look at him again. He had a sheet of paper in his hand, the phone against his ear and he looked at her, strained. And she did what seemed to be the easiest solution, she opened the door and walked out.

Rory kept on walking, staring ahead and avoiding contact with everyone. She didn't even turn to look at Luke who was standing by one of the tables looking at her. She just walked out of the diner and then headed down the main street. And she didn't even know why. Her heart was beating so hard and her brain didn't seem to be working. If only he had said something, she kept thinking. He could have said anything, just something, but he hadn't.

She stopped for a while, stood in the middle of the pavement and shook her head. Why the hell had she left the apartment? He was just confused, she knew he was just as confused as she was, if not more. He had probably just needed a minute to get his thoughts together, and then the call had interrupted them. But she had panicked, she'd felt compelled to get out of the situation that might tear her apart. She'd regretted saying what she did, showing him how vulnerable she really was. But why was it such a big deal, he wasn't the enemy. He was Jess. And now that she had walked away, how was she supposed to be able to go to him again? She'd lost the courage, she felt like an idiot. What the hell was wrong with her? When had she become the greatest idiot that had ever lived on the face of the earth?

Rory was frustrated and angry with herself, so she headed for the one place that was always able to make her feel better and see things clearly. And she hoped that Jess would come there, because right now she was too embarrassed to go to him again.

*New York, Mel's apartment, 2pm*

Pete stood in front of Mel, holding a box, which was just bursting with books. They were looking at each other silently, both contemplating on an appropriate starting line. There didn't seem to be one, so eventually he just put the box on the floor and took a deep breath.

"I've brought Rory's books. I've got more boxes in the car"

"Oh, yea. I've… Rory's not here now… I'll come and help you with the stuff"

Pete looked at her and nodded, slowly. Mel grabbed her keys and followed Pete to the elevator. They waited for it silently and stepped in. It seemed that the elevator was very slow on this particular day, Mel wasn't sure if it had ever before gone to the ground floor this slowly. Finally, they got out of the elevator and went to Pete's car to get the rest of Rory's things. A few boxes, a suitcase and some plastic bags filled with clothes.

When they were once again on their way upstairs, Mel turned to look at Pete and asked him how he was.

"Me? Fine, just fine"

Mel nodded and managed to stir up some small talk revolving Pete's work and how busy he'd been lately. When they were back at Mel's apartment, Pete leaned against the wall and looked at her seriously.

"Is Rory… with Jess?"

It was hard to let go, Mel knew it. And Pete's situation was even harder, because he had to live with the fact that the woman he loved more than anything loved someone else more than anything.

"Rory's in Stars Hollow… You know, wanted to spend the weekend with her mom and… I think Jess is staying there these days, but I don't know…

"Yea" Pete said quietly, not looking at Mel but letting his gaze go to the floor. "She's okay?"

"Pretty much so" Mel said quietly, trying to think of a way to comfort Pete. "So, have you had time for anything but work lately?"

"Not really. I've been organizing a bachelor party for a friend, but other than that… Pretty peaceful"

"Yea, for me, too. I was supposed to go on a date tonight, but…" Mel stopped speaking when she saw the smile on Pete's face.

"Yea, I should have known you have a date planned for Saturday night"

"Well, yea, you know me" Mel laughed and then it hit her. "Look Pete, do you have something to do tonight?"

"No, nothing special. Why?"

"Well, if my date is cancelled and you have nothing special, I thought that we could go and see or movie or something" Mel knew that her suggestion was fairly risky. A man like Pete might very well consider her offer to be made out of pity.

"A movie?" Pete said and wrinkled his forehead.

"Yea, I haven't seen anything for a while so… What do you say?"

Pete looked at Mel with slight hesitation, but eventually he nodded with a smile.

"Why not. It might be fun"

*Stars Hollow, the bridge, 5pm*

He'd stood there for a while looking at her, trying, once again, to understand that he was actually this close to her. All he had to do was walk to her, look at her and tell her. Because he knew it was what she wanted to hear and it was what he wanted to say.

He smiled. She was so beautiful, so familiar. Despite all the time and everything that had happened, she still looked the same, her expressions and movements were still the same. She was lost in her thoughts when he began walking and he was careful not to scare her with his presence.

"I don't really know where to start" he caught her off guard and she turned to look at him with her eyes filled with surprise.

He stood a few feet away from her, hands in his pockets, looking down at her calmly, surprisingly calmly.

"We're not the same people we were seven years ago. You graduated from Yale, got your ideal job, you grew up. And I wasn't here to see it. And you got married. There's absolutely no way that you are the same Rory that you were before I left. I can see it when I look at you, or when I hear you speak"

Rory turned her gaze down with mixed feelings. She was happy that Jess had come to her, but at the same time his words made her heart race with both anxiety and excitement.

"But still, you're Rory. The first moment I saw you, I realised that you were the only one that I could care about. And I've loved you ever since. I loved you when I left and I loved you when I was away" listening to his words, Rory looked up at him again. "And I love you now, Rory"

His words didn't have time to sink into her consciousness. He sat down next to her, he was close, but still not too close. He looked into the water for a while, then he looked at Rory.

"I've never missed anyone but you"

The wind blew her hair to her face, and she removed it calmly never taking her eyes off him. She sat there, so close to him, after just hearing everything she had ever wanted to hear from him. It made her feel empty and so full at the same time. It all made her doubt if it was really happening.

"I can't believe you're really here" she finally whispered and smiled faintly.

"Yea, I can't really believe it myself" he said before they fell into a comfortable silence.

Just looking at each other, neither felt a need to say anything. After all the awkwardness and uncertainty, it felt really good to be able to stay quiet and just enjoy the moment when they had finally managed to talk. But still, they were both aware of the fact that there was a lot more to talk about, there were so many issues to deal with.

"Rory" Jess began quietly, feeling that he had to say this to her. "I just want you to know how sorry I am. For leaving and then for not having the courage to come back"

"Don't apologize, Jess" Rory said softly, trying to make him feel better. "I can't blame you for anything, and most of all, I don't want you to apologize for leaving. It was something you had to do. We've both made so many mistakes in these past years…"

Jess sighed and nodded. They really had made mistakes. They'd hurt each other and maybe even worse, they had hurt others when it had been the last thing they ever wanted to do.

Again, the silence continued. Both were thinking of the past years, their regrets, their relationships, people they had cared about and ended up hurting. Theirs thoughts were interrupted though when Rory's cellphone rang. She took it out of her pocket and smiled at Jess apologetically.

"Answer it, I won't run away" he said with a smile and made Rory shook her head as she answered.

It was Lorelai. Although she tried very hard, it seemed she was desperately curious to find out what was happening between Rory and Jess. Eventually she got Rory to promise that she'd return to the house as soon as possible, just because she was bored and had no company.

"My mom" Rory said after ending the call.

"I figured" Jess replied and then helped Rory stand up. "So, it was good to… talk"

Rory nodded and suddenly felt like she was sixteen again. She smiled rather shyly and then asked if Jess would like to have dinner with her and Lorelai that same night.

"We'll come to the diner, I guess, so…"

"Yea, that'd be good. So, I guess I'll see tonight"

"Yea, see you tonight, Jess" Rory said and smiled.

When she left the bridge behind her, she felt Jess's gaze following her. And she had to smile.

A/N: Okay, it's taking me some time to get my brain working again, therefore this wasn't the best chapter I've written. However, I'm gonna work harder on the remaining chapters, now I just wanted to post something so you won't have to wait any longer. Anyway, please review!